by Nella Tyler
I shook off the feeling of guilt and looked around. I spotted her at the entrance, holding Addie, looking around for me, and I smiled to myself. She looked absolutely beautiful: her hair pulled back, in a pair of jeans that fit her like a glove, and a shirt that clung to her curves. I hurried to get to her, looking around a bit to make sure I didn’t see anyone who might rat on me to Bob.
“Hey,” Autumn said, smiling at me as soon as I came up. “Feel like your heart is going a hundred miles a minute?”
“Definitely,” I said. I looked at Addie. “Hey, little bit of nothing. How are you?” She gurgled blissfully.
“Good!” I glanced at Autumn.
“She’s up to four words,” she told me proudly. “She can say ‘Ma,’ ‘Dad,’ ‘Good,’ and ‘Tuck.’”
“Clever little girl,” I said, reaching out to give Addie’s hair a quick ruffle. “Just like her mama.”
“So, you want to check out the fair?” I nodded and leaned in to give Autumn a quick kiss on the cheek. I took her free hand, and we walked towards the gate, where the box office sat.
“Two adults, one baby,” I told the teenaged girl behind the glass.
“Babies are free,” the girl told me. “Can I see her hand?” Autumn extended Addie’s hand through the little gap in the window, and the girl pressed a butterfly stamp on the one-year-old’s hand. “Twenty-five for the two adults,” the girl added.
I took cash out of my wallet and the girl ripped off two wristbands from a sheet, handing them over to me before counting out the money. She gave me a five in change, and I helped Autumn with her wristband.
“When was the last time you came out to the fair?” Autumn shifted Addie in her arms, and I considered offering to take the little girl, but then thought against it.
“I didn’t come last year,” I admitted. “But the year before that I was dating someone and we checked it out.”
“I don’t think I was here last year, either,” she said. “I missed the opening of the fair, and then I was having morning sickness.”
“That will put a damper on your desire for roller coasters,” I said. “In fact, how are you going to do any roller coasters with Addie in tow?” Autumn shrugged.
“Guess I’ll have to come back another time this month with my parents and Tuck,” she said. “Make Mom hold Addie while the rest of us go on the extreme rides.”
I laughed. “Doesn’t your mom like extreme rides?”
Autumn shook her head. “She loves the ferris wheel, but nothing more extreme than the flying swings.”
“Should we take a walk around the fairgrounds, see what there is to see, and decide what we want to do first?”
She considered my question. “Sounds good. Also, I’m getting pretty hungry.”
We walked the whole fairway, checking out the different rides and games, and Autumn shifted Addie onto her back, holding her there with a strap. We bought funnel cakes and corn dogs, and talked about the rides that it would be safe for Addie to come with us on.
“I think we could do the sleigh one,” Autumn said. “They can bolt her down in my lap.”
“The swings are a bit much for her, though,” I said as we passed that ride.
“What about the carousel?”
“That’s doable,” Autumn said, nodding. “What do you think, little girl?” She looked over her shoulder at Addie, who still had powdered sugar on her face from a bite of funnel cake. Addie burbled her agreement, beaming.
We rode the carousel, the sleigh ride, and a flying elephants ride, and Addie managed them all as well as if she was a born daredevil. We found a few more rides and on some of them I held Addie while Autumn rode and we watched, or she insisted I ride, while she and Addie watched. It felt weird to be holding Addie while Autumn was on a ride; it felt like exactly what I should be doing and at the same time, weirdly foreign. I liked it.
After a while, we’d managed to get to the rides that we wanted to check out—at least the ones that didn’t have huge lines that would make us wait. “What do you want to do next?”
“Check out the animals?” We headed over to the farm tent—daring, since there were people who would recognize her—and Addie cooed and gurgled over the animals as we wandered from one to another stall, taking in the pigs, cows, chickens, and more. Someone had brought in some exotic yard fowl, and Autumn joked about getting herself some guinea hens just for fun.
From there we went to the games, since there wasn’t much else for us to do. We took turns, playing skeeball, the “test of strength,” and darts. Autumn was best at skeeball, and I was better at the “test of strength.” We went from one to another, joking and laughing, and I thought to myself again that it felt so good to be with her, just wandering around the fair.
“Ever shoot a gun before?” Autumn pointed to the target practice game, and I shrugged.
“Who hasn’t?”
She grinned. “Want to compete?”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to shoot a gun with Addie strapped to you?”
Autumn rolled her eyes at me, looking up through her eyelashes. “It’s a pellet gun,” she pointed out. “No kickback, no spark.”
“It will look pretty cool, I guess,” I admitted. “And if you can even make the target…”
“I can make the target,” she insisted.
“How many times?”
She shrugged. “How many do you want to bet?”
“Five times,” I told her. “Perfect shot each time. Big prize.”
“I can do it,” she said. “What are we betting?”
I thought about it. “A kiss,” I told her. “Another kiss.”
“Okay,” she agreed. I saw the color rising up in her cheeks, the glint in her eyes. How could any man ever want to put her aside? She’s so beautiful. “I’ll go first.”
“Go for it,” I said. “I’ll watch, and then I’ll clobber whatever score you come up with.”
Autumn giggled. I gave the man running the shooting game five tickets for her turn up. She kept Addie strapped to her back and took her pellets from the man. I watched her bring the pellet gun up, sight it, and then take her shots. Two landed in the center—better than I would have thought she’d do—but the other three hit the outer rings.
“Not bad,” the man running the game said. “You can choose from these prizes.” He gestured to a row of small stuffed dogs.
“The green one,” she said. She looked at me. “Addie loves green.”
“My turn.” I took up one of the BB guns and gave the man my tickets for the game. I took a deep breath. I’d gone hunting a few times, but it had been a while since I’d shot anything. I brought the sight up, and looked at the target.
I took another breath; I wanted to win not only to get the big prize, and not only to get a kiss from Autumn, but for the sake of showing off to her.
I shot the first pellet. It hit the bullseye, and I looked over at Autumn. “I got two,” she said teasingly. “You have to do at least two, and you only really win if you get five.”
“I can do it,” I told her. I sighted again and pulled the trigger. It went in right next to the first one, still in the center. “One more and I’ve got more bullseyes than you.”
“Get it first, then brag,” she told me.
I took a quick, deep breath, and took another shot. Hit the bullseye again. “You were saying?”
“Five is the winning number,” she said playfully.
“I’ll get five,” I said, even though I wasn’t completely certain. I put the sight down, closed my eyes to steady them, and brought the gun back up. I shot twice, in rapid succession. Two pellets came out, and both hit the bullseye. It was pure luck, but I was glad. I turned to look at Autumn. “You were saying?”
“You played me!” She shook her head, grinning and looking excited. “You-you did something.”
“Pure skill,” I said, even though it wasn’t true at all. “Right, my man?” I looked at the guy running the game.
“I
t is a game of skill,” the man agreed. “You can pick one of the top shelf prices, or two of the middle shelf prizes, or three of the bottom shelf.”
“I’ll take that big stuffed bear,” I said, pointing at it. “The purple one.” I looked at Autumn. “You like purple, right?” She grinned even more.
“I do.”
We left the stall with her new bear and wandered around for a little more; she bought some cinnamon-roasted nuts, and checked the time. “You could come home with me, you know,” I pointed out.
“I can’t,” Autumn said, shaking her head. “If I stay too late, my parents will know something is up.” I had to agree with her.
“Can I at least get that kiss that you owe me?” She laughed and shifted Addie on her back.
“I suppose I should honor our bet, even if I’m still pretty sure you set me up,” she said. I knew it would have to be a pretty chaste kiss—we were in public, and on top of that Autumn had Addie to consider. It wasn’t like we could make out there in front of the fair.
I put my hands on Autumn’s waist and tugged her closer to me, trying to forget about Addie for the moment. I leaned in and brushed my lips against Autumn’s, starting soft.
I wanted to devour her; I wanted to take her home, strip her naked, and make love to her over and over again. But that wasn’t in the cards. Instead, I kissed her as hungrily and deeply as I could without shuffling Addie.
I pulled back after a few moments, my body heating up, and looked down at her. “Sometime soon, right?” Autumn’s flushed cheeks and bright eyes gave me the answer before her lips did.
“As soon as I can,” she said, stepping back from me and finding her keys in her purse. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, thinking of where my keys were so I could drive myself home.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Autumn
I looked around outside of the guest house, my heart beating faster in my chest. I’d told Mom that I was going to take Addie to the park by myself. I was actually going to meet with Cade, with my daughter in tow.
It was four in the afternoon, and Dad and Tuck were doing some chores around the farm. I picked up Addie’s carrier, which doubled as an insert for her car seat. I had a few things in her baby bag: not just a change of diapers and wipes, but some food I’d managed to put together. Cade was bringing more with him.
You’re being ridiculous. Just go. It was one of Cade’s days off, and I had finished up all of my chores early. Mom had a perfectly good story from me, and Tuck and Dad were too busy to ask questions, much less to notice that I was going anywhere.
“Come on, baby girl,” I said to Addie, hefting her carrier. She could walk—she was actually getting quite good at it—but for certain things, I still liked to have her in the carrier.
I locked the door behind me and walked from my house through the backyard and towards the front of the main house. I started to find the key for my car, to load up Adelyn and the food and her stuff.
“Where ya headed?” I looked up and saw Tuck leaning against the driver’s side door of my car.
“Just a little trip out to the park,” I said with a shrug. My heart beat faster and faster in my chest.
“Oh? That sounds nice,” he said. “Going to see Cade while you’re at it?” I rolled my eyes.
“Why? Cade isn’t interested in me, remember?” I felt my palms starting to get clammy, nervousness rising up in me.
“So then why didn’t I get an invitation to come with you? Just you and Addie out in the park—that doesn’t sound like you.”
“I’ve taken lots of trips into town with just Addie and me,” I pointed out.
“You’ve been meeting with Cade,” Tuck said, meeting my gaze levelly.
“I have not,” I protested. “I’ve been getting out of the house.”
“And, meeting with Cade,” he insisted.
“Where did you get that idea?” I felt the blood rising into my face and tried to stop it; he grinned.
“If I didn’t know for sure, I’d know for sure right now, the way you’re blushing,” he said. “Come on, Sis.”
“I’m not admitting anything,” I said tartly. “But if I was meeting with Cade, it would be during his off hours. No harm, no foul.”
Tuck shook his head. “Sis, if you keep doing this, Dad is going to find out. How do you think he’s going to feel towards you, hiding this from him? How do you think he’s going to feel about Cade?”
I rolled my eyes. “Dad is not going to find out,” I said.
“He might,” Tuck told me, shrugging. “I managed to find out, didn’t I?”
I frowned at him. “I don’t know how you found out, but you are not Dad.”
“It’s important for him to know,” he said with a shrug. “Cade made a promise to Dad, and he’s not upholding his end of the bargain.”
“He’s not distracted,” I insisted. “He’s working just as hard as you are—not that anyone would know it by the way you talk.”
I pressed my lips together. I’d heard from more than a few people in town that Tuck had been downplaying Cade’s role on the farm, all but calling him lazy. “You had better not tell Dad that I’m meeting with Cade,” I told my brother firmly.
“What are you going to do if I tell him?” Tuck smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’ll tell him about you bad-mouthing Cade to all our friends in town,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know if he’ll care about you saying that Cade is not pulling his fair share, but I’m sure he’ll care about you telling people he’s a fool for hiring anyone at all.”
Tuck stared at me for a long moment. “You wouldn’t.”
I laughed. “I would just as readily as you would tell on me,” I said. “Mutually assured destruction, bro. You screw me over, I will make sure you’re nuked with Dad.”
“Dad wouldn’t care,” he said, puffing up.
“Dad would care,” I countered. “He would care a lot. Maybe even enough to be pissed at you for years for bad-mouthing him as well as me, as well as someone he hired. Maybe you won’t get the farm, after all.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared my brother down. “You willing to take that risk?”
“I’m not going to tell Dad,” he said. “But you need to know that if you’re not more careful about meeting with that guy, you’re going to end up getting caught. If you get caught, you’re going to be screwed all on your own.” Tuck turned around and walked away and I stood there for a moment. I should have felt utterly victorious, but I didn’t. I felt worried.
I considered texting Cade and telling him that something had come up. I couldn’t be 100% sure that Tuck wouldn’t take it into his head to sabotage us in some way—get Dad to come out to the park or drop some kind of hint that would get me in trouble.
You’re being ridiculous. You wouldn’t be this paranoid about meeting with a guy if you were open about it—don’t be this paranoid now. But I wasn’t being open about it; I was lying, at least by omission, to my Dad and I wasn’t sharing everything with my mom.
“Should we go anyway, Addie-girl?”
Adelyn looked up and me and burbled. “Good! Ma!”
I chuckled to myself, gathered up her carrier and the bag, and unlocked my car. I bolted my daughter into her safety seat and made sure she was fully secure, and then I stowed her bag next to her and climbed in on the driver’s side. Whether I was safe or not, I was going to meet with Cade.
You could be making a big mistake, I thought. He could end up leaving you just like Titan did.
I pushed any thought of my ex out of my mind and started the car, turning it around and heading down the driveway towards the road. I was going to be optimistic; things with Cade weren’t serious, and I was actually having fun with him. I would see how things went, and then if we lasted out through the end of the season, he and I would go on to see how we felt about each other. If things were going well by then, we could be more open if we wanted to.
I felt unsettled the whole drive i
nto town knowing that Tuck knew about my visits with Cade. It was hard to predict what my brother would do.
I hadn’t expected him to yell at me weeks before about colluding with Cade to somehow get Tuck cut out of inheriting my father’s property; it wasn’t something I had ever even entertained as a possibility and even if I had, I would never have wanted to do it. And yet there he had been, on my doorstep, accusing me of trying to get him screwed out of what he viewed as his rightful inheritance.
I heard Addie caroling along with the music on the stereo and forced myself to be more positive. I was going to be seeing Cade, after all. We would have hours to spend together, and I fully intended to enjoy every last minute of the time we had.
I wouldn’t be able to go back to his place, but there were more things in the world to do than to have sex. Not that I don’t wish I could be having sex right now, I thought wryly.
I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Addie waving her hands almost in time with the beat in the music. If I hadn’t brought Adelyn with me, it would have been harder to get away, but bringing her made me feel weird about even thinking of going back to Cade’s place.
She was still too young to have any idea about what Cade and I might be doing, but I wouldn’t be able to just leave her in the living room and go into the bedroom, and I couldn’t exactly bring her into the bedroom with me.
Maybe I should ask some other single moms how they go about dating. There had to be at least a few who’d found new partners after their husbands and the fathers of their children had left the picture. They might be able to tell me how to manage it. It was the sort of thing that I’d normally talk to Mom about, but I couldn’t talk to her about it until after the growing season was over and I could be more open about how things were between me and Cade.
As far as Mom knew, there was a little flirtation, a few outings together, and after Cade and I had gotten on the same page about keeping it from my father, I had felt like I shouldn’t make Mom lie to Dad on top of the semi-lies I was telling. It wouldn’t be right.