Piper Day's Ultimate Guide To Avoiding George Clooney

by Vanessa Fewings

  He looked away. “You have a new nurse starting today, I hear?”

  I went to ask how he knew that, then realized he probably knew everything that went on here.

  “Funny how things come full circle,” he said. “It seems like only yesterday it was your first day and we were discussing whale entrails.” He winked.

  I scrunched up my nose.

  Arthur laughed. “See you tomorrow.” He strolled off down the paseo.

  Several young executives passed by him without giving him a second glance. Arthur made it a habit of keeping a low profile it seemed.

  Cats in hats?

  The Cat in the Hat was the book Grayson had read to the children that day I’d visited the childcare center. Was he the reason I was still able to go to the Oscars?

  Thinking of him made me smile.

  I headed off toward the medical department, ready to start my new day.

  Once inside, Adam threw me a wave. He was on the phone, chatting away. He pressed his hand over the receiver. “Can’t wait to hear all about it.”

  “It was wonderful,” I mouthed.

  “You have a visitor.” He placed a fingertip over his lips. “I put her in the coffee room.”

  “Who?”

  Adam was deep in conversation again.

  I found Brianna Travers sitting in our break room. She peered up from the magazine she was reading.

  “Hi there,” I said, sitting in the chair opposite. “How are you?”

  “Good. We’ve finished filming my music video. Before I left the lot I wanted to thank you. I’m heading into rehab,” she whispered it. “And when I get out I intend on surrounding myself with good people.” She nudged closer. “Like you suggested.”

  “Oh Brianna--”

  “You made me take a closer look at my life. You were the first person to treat me like I was normal.”

  “You are.” I lowered my gaze. “Exceptionally talented of course, but human nevertheless.”

  She looked away. “You made me realize I can use my fame for something good.” She cheered up. “I’m going to throw myself into charity work. Not sure which one yet.”

  I reached across the table and took her hand in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

  “I wanted to tell you personally.” She held my hands tightly.

  “Would you like some coffee?”

  “My car’s waiting.” Her face lit up. “By the way, last night I was at the Vanity Fair Party. Guess who else was there?”

  “Who?”

  “George Clooney!”

  “Huh.”

  “I cornered him.” She gestured to herself. “When you’re this famous you can get away with anything. Anyway, we talked... about you.”

  Adrenaline slithered up my spine and my eyebrows tried to find their way to the top of my head.

  Brianna missed my reaction, seemingly triumphant. “I explained how you bumped into him while buying a bunch of stuff for your friend in that supermarket--”

  “Rome’s,” I said, faintly.

  “That was it. Anyway, I told him you’ve been avoiding him because you were afraid he’d think you were a stalker.”

  Despite sitting down, my feet felt unsteady.

  Brianna, it seemed, had even told him where I worked.

  “George laughed,” Brianna added, not catching my reaction.

  My cheeks blushed wildly and it amazed me that my traffic light of a face, screaming STOP, had no effect on her.

  “George saw you run over his standee.” Brianna howled with laughter.

  I wondered whether I should go and grab my handbag now and leave or do the right thing and wait to be fired. That joker smile was hiding beneath the surface, hinting at an appearance.

  “Well anyway,” Brianna went on, “I explained everything.”

  “That was very kind of you.” My mind raced with the consequences.

  “He was cool.” She smiled again, standing up. “So you can relax.”

  Actually I’d begun to relax when I’d read on Resident Hero’s call sheet it was their last day of shooting. Though I didn’t share that with Brianna. She needed to believe she’d done something good for me and I was reluctant to burst her bubble.

  She threw a wave goodbye.

  I returned a gesture of thanks as I watched her slip away down the corridor.

  I needed fresh air and fast.

  “Hey Piper,” Natalie said, appearing in the doorway. “Would you mind taking our new nurse, Judith, on a tour?”

  Judith was right behind Natalie, and she stood a little shorter than her. She was dressed in pristine blue scrubs, her ash blonde hair pulled back in a bun.

  Judith gave a nervous smile and said, “Was that Brianna Tavers?” She looked star struck.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “How she doing?” Natalie asked.

  “Great,” I said, raising an eyebrow subtly.

  Natalie gave a knowing look, silently sharing her insight into Brianna’s troubles. Judith didn’t catch it.

  “Wow!” Judith responded with glee. “I love her.”

  “Come on,” I said, hoping to change the subject and push all thoughts of Brianna’s good intentions out of my mind. “I’ll show you around.”

  Heading off in the golf cart, we sped across the lot and I pointed to each stage and landmark we passed, telling Judith what she needed to know about each one.

  “That’s Gemstone’s executive building.” I pointed to the elaborate architecture. “We only go in there when called for an emergency.” I slowed the cart. “Security’s really tight.”

  “Who works there?” Judith asked.

  “Top executives.”

  She gave a nod of understanding and crooked her neck to take in the twenty-five story grandness with wide-eyed wonder.

  “When we treat a celebrity,” I kept my tone reassuring, “it’s important to make them feel comfortable. We treat them like you’d treat anyone.”

  “You don’t treat them like a VIP?”

  “Treat everyone like a VIP.” I steered onto Chicago Street. “That way you can’t go wrong.”

  “Got it.” Her gaze drifted up and along at the New York terraces.

  We sped past fake shop fronts, including Agatha’s Antiques, the Mayberry Jewelry Store, and Dan’s Corner Deli, its shelves lined with fake products.

  I parked the cart and we set out on foot to explore.

  Natalie pressed her nose up against the window of Danny’s Diner, peering in at the empty restaurant, awaiting a film crew to bring it alive and make it look real.

  I realized I’d left the radio in the front of the golf cart and jogged back to get it.

  With the dial turned up full, I made sure we wouldn’t miss a call. I clipped the radio onto my right scrub pocket.

  Judith was gone.

  I headed off in the direction of where I’d last seen her, which was at the entrance of a pathway in-between a brownstone facade. As I strolled down the slim walkway, there came a sound like nothing I’d ever heard.

  What was that? Bees? No, humming....feet stepping...hundreds of footfalls...

  Turning the corner onto New York Street, I bumped right into Judith’s back. Her body was rigid. Then I caught sight of what she was gaping at.

  A thousand or so zombies, with their arms stretched out before them, lumbered up New York Street, their gait unsteady as they paraded past.

  It was my turn to gape.

  I grabbed Judith’s arm, terrified we’d stepped right into a shot, and tried to yank her back into the walkway.

  She wouldn’t budge, her feet were stuck where they were, her eyes widening in terror.

  “Judith, it’s not real,” I shouted over the din.

  Several of the zombies turned their empty gazes upon us, evidently equally as surprised to see us.

  Now they were freaking me out.

  A familiar face appeared from out the meandering crowd, her vacant stare disarming, as was the gory flesh hanging off her blo
od splattered, pasty face. Horrified, I realized she was zeroing in on me.

  The girl wrapped her hands around my neck and began--

  Hugging me.

  “Piper,” Ellie said, her smile revealing rotten teeth and a bright red tongue.

  “Ellie?” I shouted, half relieved, half disturbed by the sagging flesh hanging off her jaw. “What are you doing here?”

  “Got a last minute call,” she said, her hands waving in the air with jerky movements. “They needed more zombies.”

  I gestured to Judith. “She’s in shock.”

  “What?” Ellie called out over the noise.

  “The zombies,” I said. “They’re scaring her.”

  “I know, right.” Ellie seemed to smile, but it was hard to tell beneath all that makeup. “Isn’t it cool! We’re shooting a TV show.”

  My focus returned to a catatonic Judith. I closed the gap between us, placing my hands over her eyes.

  Judith broke from her trance and gawped my way.

  “The directors looking this way,” Ellie shouted.

  “Let’s go,” I told Judith.

  Ellie led the way, raising her arms, staggering awkwardly.

  Copying Ellie, I too staggered in a zombie-like fashion, mimicking those around us. Arms up and wavering, Judith was behind us, mastering the walk. Even her pasty face fit the scene.

  All three of us made an unsteady route toward the steps of a brownstone. We descended to the ground level basement entrance.

  Once through the door, Ellie and Judith collapsed in a fit of laughter.

  I was still too stressed over Judith’s reaction to find any of this funny.

  “I don’t know what happened,” Judith said, shaking off the embarrassment. “I have a horror phobia.” She cringed. “Those zombies look real.” Her hands covered her mouth. “You look real.” She pointed to Ellie.

  “Haven’t stepped into makeup yet.” Ellie laughed at her own joke.

  I threw her a disapproving look, nervous Judith might slip back into a shocked state.

  “My brother once forced me to watch The Grudge 3,” said Judith. “ I had nightmares for weeks.”

  I pointed to Ellie, for Judith’s sake. “Underneath all that makeup, Ellie’s a regular girl next door.”

  Ellie’s overly-white eyebrows rose ever so slightly.

  “Soon to be famous girl next door,” I added.

  She smiled, though I wish she hadn’t as it made her look even spookier.

  “I’m fine, really,” Judith said.

  I was relieved she’d shaken from her catatonic state, not least because returning her to the medical department like that would have taken some explaining.

  “Don’t worry,” Ellie said. “We’re only rehearsing.”

  “Thank goodness.” I took a deep sigh of relief. “The last thing I need is to be caught on camera.”

  Ellie checked her watch. “We’re due to wrap around four.” She headed back to the stairwell, resting a hand on the doorknob, tilting her head, her gaze blank. Sliding back into character she staggered out, returning to the hundreds of other zombies lumbering up New York Street.

  Please don’t trip, came that inner studio nurse voice.

  “Don’t tell anyone,” said Judith. “Will you?”

  “Of course not,” I reassured her. “We have each other’s back here.” I looked around for another exit.

  Following what looked like the way out, though you could never be too careful with these old facades, we ascended another stairway, happy to find our way back to Chicago Street and our waiting golf cart.

  With our adventure over, we returned to the medical department. Settling in the coffee room, I made Judith tea. The hot beverage soon returned color to her cheeks. It was good to see her smiling again.

  Sitting at the central table, I briefed Judith on everything I’d learned so far, hoping to make her work here easier, conveying all the tips I’d learned since starting. Judith soaked everything in, eager to make a good impression.

  Natalie took Judith under her wing, wanting to take her to the pass office to get her ID badge.

  Later that day, when Ellie’s commercial had wrapped, I met her at Gem’s Cafe for coffee.

  Her zombie makeup was gone, as were her ripped clothes and undead gait. She was my Ellie again, wearing her usual t-shirt and jeans, her hair still wet from where she’d washed out the goop.

  With her chin resting on her palms and her eyes full of wonder, Ellie asked, “Any word from Jamie?”

  “Um, no,” I said, taking a sip of coffee, my gaze drifting to my iPhone strategically placed where I’d see a text or call, should one happen to come in.

  “What did it feel like to wear Marilyn’s dress?” she asked.

  “Amazing.” I leaned forward and lowered my voice. “No one recognized me. It was kind of cool.” I opened my handbag. “This is for you.” I removed the gold wrapped chocolate Oscar and offered it to her.

  “Aha!” She giggled with excitement and took it from me. “I’ll put it on my fireplace so everyone can admire it.”

  “I think it might melt.”

  “Who are we kidding? I’ll consume the entire thing before I get home.” Ellie tucked it into her handbag. “What was Jamie really like?”

  “Kind of dreamy in a famous actor way.” I threw up my arms to emphasize what I was trying to say. “He was really...sexy.”

  My phone buzzed and my heart skipped a beat as my stare focused on the screen.

  “Sorry that was me,” Ellie said. “I knocked the table.”

  I gave my best happy face.

  “He’ll call,” she said. “Resident Hero is wrapping today so he’s probably busy doing press junkets and stuff.”

  I rested my head on my hands, mirroring her, trying to fight off this feeling of uncertainty.

  “Can you imagine?” she said. “You’ll be on every magazine cover if you date him.” Her face was full of excitement. “You could parlay your relationship into an acting career.”

  Twisting my mouth, I said. “I like being a nurse.”

  She narrowed her gaze. “Oh my God. It’s George Clooney!”

  “What? Where?” I screeched, grabbing my iPhone and shoving it into my handbag before sliding down my chair.

  Crawling on all fours, hoping no one would notice my great escape, passing table after table, I scurried toward the fountain.

  From there, I peeked over the spurting water.

  Yes, it was Le George all right, probably here to buy a coffee. Or, much to his angst, get a free one. Where the hell was his assistant? I turned and slid down the rounded edge of the fountain and rested against it.

  Ellie, who’d followed on all fours, soon joined me. “Who are we hiding from?” She nudged up against me.

  “The sound of water... isn’t it relaxing?” I raised a finger to better make my point.

  Her top lip curled. “George just went into Gem’s. Maybe we should go in there.”

  “Let’s not.”

  Ellie’s eyebrows knitted in a frown.

  “Let’s hang out here,” I said.”Savor the time we have left. Enjoy the soothing sound of the fountain.”

  Ellie stared at me.

  “What I meant was, I’m going back to work soon. You’re always busy with your auditions.”

  She lowered her voice. “Who are we hiding from?”

  I bit my lip.

  Ellie’s face changed. “George Clooney?”

  “Shush.” I blushed wildly.

  “Girlfriend.” Ellie wagged her perfectly manicured fingernail at me. “You have some explaining to do.”

  My face burned with embarrassment.

  She removed the gold wrapped Oscar from her handbag. “How about we talk about this?”

  The light caught the wrapper and I could almost hear the applause of the crowd from last night.

  “Head or tails?” Ellie unwrapped the statue.

  “You decide,” I said. “Not sure I can trust my judgment ri
ght now.”

  She devoured Oscar’s head.

  I leaned across and broke off the base, shoving the piece of chocolate into my mouth. It melted on my tongue, thrilling my taste buds and sending a delightful shudder through me.

  “Why can’t men be like chocolate?” Ellie said, chewing with delight, her expression one of ecstasy.

  “Only without the calories,” I added.

  “And without the regret.”

  “And without the craving for more.”

  “Looks like God knew what She was doing after all,” Ellie said.

  We burst out laughing.

  “Now,” Ellie said, “Let’s hear it then.”

  “Huh?”

  “Why in the world would anyone want to avoid George Clooney?”

  “I’ll tell you, but then--”

  “You’ll have to kill me?”

  “Worse. I’ll need more of your chocolate. A whole lot more.”

  CHAPTER 25

  Resident Hero - Day 60 OF 60

  Call Time: 07:00 am

  Shooting Call: 07:45 am

  Weather: Rain. Who are we kidding, this is L.A.: Sunny!

  Location: Stage 9

  See you at the wrap party!

  Behind that fountain, I’d told Ellie all about my run in with Le George at Rome’s, and the disconcerting events that followed. After recovering from a laughing fit, she reassured me most celebrities were in a world of their own, rarely noticing what was going on around them. In her usual Ellie fashion, she cheered me up. My best friend could always be relied upon to make everything feel better, and with those few words of comfort my stomach ceased churning and my nerves settled.

  Sitting behind that fountain, we’d eaten the rest of the chocolate Oscar in silence, munching away our troubles.

  Afterwards, Ellie headed home and I’d returned to work. The rest of my day had been uneventful, and by 4 P.M. I was alone in the department, Adam having left for the day.

  There were still no messages from Jamie. Though the one from Ellie, with the photo attached of us shoving chocolate in our mouths behind the fountain, made me smile.

  At 5 P.M. the final call came in from Sally Graham, the P.A. from Resident Hero, letting me know they’d wrapped for the day and the last of the crew were off the stage. With the last production having wrapped, I was allowed to go home too.

  I went through the usual routine of locking all the medicine cabinets, and then ensured all the patient files were secured. Lastly, I placed my radio on its charging station. A quick call to security notified them I was heading out.