by Sandra Bats
Twenty-Six
Elin
Without raising my head too high, I peeked over the cornice and scanned the bustling crowds just two stories below. I made out Josh and Cam approaching the building. We hadn’t been able to acquire a uniform for Josh so he’d just put on some of his nicer clothes — hopefully nobody was going to question him being off-duty military as long as he hung around Cam. He wasn’t going to approach anyone anyway, just point Maddy out to Cam. Cam, meanwhile, was hardly recognizable. He’d donned Jayden’s old navy blue uniform, shaved his beard and even cut his hair shorter. He looked like any other guard at the labs. I found it rather scary. The thought that Jayden had once worn that uniform was even worse.
We inched closer to the edge of the roof, looking straight down just as the bouncer waved them through without giving them a second look. Jayden squeezed my hand. He was a prisoner of his past as much as I was one of mine, something we’d never shake off.
The sky was as dark as it was going to get. The dense clouds blocked out most stars but the clouds and snow reflected the gleam of the streetlights, making it much brighter than a night in the countryside.
“It’s time,” Jayden whispered.
We moved through the shadows, our black clothes rendering us invisible. I’d even tucked my hair under a black woolen hat to hide it from view. Jayden beckoned me closer, twisting one of the ropes he untied from around his waist through the hooks on my belt, explaining how I’d have to lower Cam to the ground later.
“Won’t it be better if I take Maddy? She’s lighter. What if I can’t hold Cam?”
“Cam knows what he’s doing. The chimney’s our anchor.” He pointed to the steel ring he’d threaded the rope through. These rings existed on every chimney in town and were used to hang garlands during national holidays. “You’ll be fine. Maddy might panic and flail, which could throw you off balance,” Jayden explained.
In a few moments I’d get my sister back and I was scared of how much she had changed; how much she would change my new life. I wanted to reassure Jayden and myself that whatever might happen wouldn’t change anything between us. I wasn’t sure I’d get to keep that promise. What if my sister had known Jayden as a guard, if he’d ever hurt her, would I be able to forgive him?
Jayden’s fingers trembled slightly and for the first time since I’d met him, I saw him afraid. I’d seen him angry and sad, furious even, but never so scared. Knowing that I held the power to make him afraid produced a weird mix of pride and guilt. After all he’d witnessed in his life, I could make him tremble in fear.
Below us it was the noise that alerted us to the prisoner’s arrival — or more the sudden lack thereof. People fell quiet, only spoke in whispers as the crowd parted and the girls, chained together by their wrists, were led through.
“What if she’s not even here tonight?” I asked.
Jayden tugged my hand, pulling me further into the darkness as he checked his watch for the time. “She will be. Cam went in earlier and specifically requested the redhead from last week.”
Another half hour passed in silence. I rested against the chimney while Jayden lay on his stomach, listening and observing the windows on the side of the building. He waited for Cam to signal which room he was in. When Jayden tensed up, I knew it was time.
I rushed to his side by the edge of the roof. Jayden made quick work of the rope and I made sure he safely climbed down to the window. Despite the cool air, I was sweating as I glanced down just in time to see Jayden knock against the boarded-up window. Our signature knock confirmed that it truly was Camden inside and Jayden gave me a thumbs-up.
He started removing the bolts that held the boards in place. I dug my heels into the roof, afraid to slip from his abrupt movements. He handed the boards inside to Cam. Time seemed to fly and I was afraid our fifteen-minute window wouldn’t be enough. Finally, Jayden handed Cam his small backpack. It contained improvised harnesses for Maddy and Cam. Just as Jayden readied himself to climb back up, a man rounded the corner of the building.
He wore a navy blue uniform and stumbled, obviously drunk. Probably a patron. I had to warn Jayden, but how? The man hadn’t looked up yet. Speaking would alert him to us as he turned towards the wall of the building. He seemed to be looking for a place to relieve himself.
I tugged on the robe, catching Jayden’s eye when he glanced up. I pointed at the man who was peeing against the side of the building. He just needed to look up and he’d see what we were doing. Jayden was still suspended before the window. His feet pressed against the wall and he had one hand on the frame. He held one finger up to his lips. There was no sound to be heard from Cam or Maddy inside the room.
I saw Jayden reach for his gun but he pulled his hand back a second later. The gun would make matters worse, alerting people to us. The man finished his business and closed his pants again. I was almost convinced he’d leave any second. He glanced upwards.
The uniformed drunk stared a moment, his brows furrowing as if he didn’t believe his eyes.
I froze. Jayden didn’t. I barely saw the knife in his hand before he sliced through the rope securing him. He had one hand on the windowsill then he pushed back, letting go. I bit my tongue to not shout in shock.
Jayden dropped down. He twisted around during his fall and landed, then rolled over the snow, coming up onto his feet, knife still in hand. The other man stared for a second then moved forward. Jayden sliced at the hand reaching for him.
My heart hammered in my chest. Jayden lifted his arm to deflect a punch. The other man still managed to hit his jaw. Jayden sidestepped another blow, slipped under his opponent’s arm. Then Jayden was behind him. He wrapped his arm around the man in a chokehold. The moments ticked by, the other man still flailing about. Finally, he dropped unconscious.
Jayden quickly tied his hands and feet up with the rope, still remaining attached to his belt. Then he gagged the other man using a handkerchief he found in the man’s uniform pocket.
Jayden moved quickly. We’d lost precious minutes to the intruder. Jayden motioned for me to let more rope down so he could grab it and climb back up. When he pulled himself up on the roof, his cheek was red with a bruise and his hair was matted down with sweat despite the cold winter air.
“Let’s hurry,” he panted between breaths that evaporated into white clouds.
Cam and Maddy seemed to have already caught on. A tug at my rope got my attention. I was so full of adrenaline it was hard to remember what I needed to do. My breath came in sharp puffs and despite wearing thick gloves, my fingers were stiff and cold. I wasn’t prepared for the rope to go slack the moment Cam hit the ground, and I stumbled backwards.
Jayden confirmed that Cam and Maddy had made it down safely. He fumbled to loop the rope through the hooks at my belt. Blood rushed in my ears and I barely understood as Jayden explained the technique to climb down. As he had before, he assured me I’d be fine, but he didn’t understand the climb wasn’t what had me shaking. I was ready to go but at the last moment Jayden pulled me close.
“You’ll do fine!” His reassurance was just a whisper.
The moment I leaned into the rope was breathtakingly scary but it became easier as I went, and I soon hit solid ground, immediately spinning to look at Maddy.
She stood a few feet off to the side, watching me with hurtful wariness in her eyes and her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her hair was short and her face had leaned out from when we’d been kidnapped. I blindly tried to open the belt as quickly as possible. I couldn’t wait to run towards her.
I grabbed her in a hug and pulled my baby sister to my chest. She was almost as tall as me and she stoically refrained from hugging me back, so I awkwardly let her go, staring into a face I had once known that was now alien, despite looking so much like my own.
“I’m so glad we found you! Are you ok?” I sputtered the words without thinking and only when she blankly stared and snorted did it occur how stupid they were.
“Yeah, I’
m just fine. What do you think? Seems like life treated you better than me. What have you been up to while I’ve been sold to every guy in town? I saw you at the market, looking healthy and surprised to see me. Have you even thought of me the last few years?”
I blinked away the tears that stung my eyes. It was hard to keep my voice quiet as I tried to explain myself.
“Of course I have. I’ve been trying to find you and Norah since I escaped. I’ve been looking for you for two years.”
“Well, it sure took you long enough!”
Jayden had reached us and he gently rested his hand against my arm as he whispered. “We need to go.”
“Been distracted, huh? That what took you so long?” Maddy bleated, disgust in her eyes as they flitted between Jayden and me.
I speechlessly let Jayden — he was limping just the tiniest bit — lead us back towards the motorcycles. The man Jayden had tied up was still unconscious on the ground but they’d surely find him soon. We had no time to waste. I watched my sister climb up behind Cam without hesitation. Cam. A stranger. My sheer presence seemed to incense her.
◆◆◆
As we drove home, everything rushed by. Bright neon lights advertising boutiques for the upper-class were a blur to me. We wound through traffic, through throngs of people heading to their jobs. It was night-shift time. Downtown, The Port never slept; everything always moved too fast there — the enormous mass of people left no room to breathe.
Finally, we reached the outer sectors where flickering streetlights replaced the jumbotron commercials. What could they even advertise out here where people were too poor to buy necessities and provide their children any sort of education. Then we even left those meager lights behind us and kept driving until the shacks became fewer and the number of trees lining the street grew. When we stopped behind the school I snapped out of my thoughts and climbed off the motorcycle. We went to Jane’s office, literally dragging Maddy behind us. Jane looked up and softly smiled.
“You must be Maddy. I’m Jane, resident doctor of this shithole,” she joked.
Maddy flicked her head upward once as greeting. Jane either graciously ignored, or didn’t notice her indifference, instead motioning towards an exam table.
“I’ll have to draw some blood to test you for diseases. Now when Elin arrived she was quite scared about that, which I totally understand. If you wish, I can talk you through the procedure and Elin can stay by your side.”
A jolt went through Maddy and she moved towards the table.
“I don’t need a babysitter. I’ve been through worse. I’m not a coward.”
I swallowed her snide remark and instead chose to be happy she’d let Jane do her work. I only halfway listened as Jane made conversation while drawing Maddy’s blood.
“I was held captive in the labs too, you know. I escaped with Jayden over there.”
Maddy’s eye jumped to him and pure hatred crossed her face. “You were one of them! Shit, yeah … I remember you.” She turned to face me. “He shot one of my friends. She was trying to escape, and he just wiped her out without batting an eye.”
Jayden, who’d stiffened next to me, eventually found his voice.
“Madison, I did terrible things when I was at that lab, and I have no words for how sorry I am. Much like you, many of the guards were forced into that life. I was kidnapped, and I wanted out as much as anybody else. I have to live with what I’ve done every day. And I’m so, so sorry.”
“I don’t care who forced you. You’re a murderer. You pulled the trigger.”
It was obvious in her shaking and shouting that there’d be no convincing her. Jayden leaned closer to me, his hand gently pressed on my arm.
“Take the room for you and her, I’ll crash somewhere else tonight. If you need me I’ll be in the office, ok?”
He left the room quietly. Maddy’s eyes lingered on the spot where his hand had touched my arm.
“I see why you were too busy for me. You were whoring around with him.”
Jane scuttled from the room, but it would still be quite difficult for her to miss Maddy’s shouting. I wasn’t sure what to say to make it better.
“I’m sorry, Maddy. I’m so sorry but I tried finding you! Please, you have to believe me. There wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you and Norah since I escaped,” I said.
“I heard of the girl who ran away. Everybody did. We didn’t get food for weeks to discourage us from doing the same. Dozens of girls starved to death. If you’d really wanted to help us, you should’ve stayed put and endured it like everyone else. You made us suffer! And for what? To live with a guard? He’s no different than any of them!”
I found it much more difficult to hear her accuse Jayden, than direct her hatred towards me.
“I know how it looks, but he’s not like them. He’s never raped anyone, and the only reason he was there in the first place was because they blackmailed him with his sister’s life.”
Maddy got up from the examination table, her voice was level and laced with menace. It was far worse than her yelling in anger.
“Really? Well, when he shot my friend he didn’t seem to mind too much. I knew I’d recognize him if I saw him again. I just didn’t think he’d be the guy who’s screwing my sister!”
I flinched at her words and my face heated with embarrassment. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh, you’re blushing. Was my language too harsh for you? You have no clue what I went through!”
“Don’t you listen? They had me captured, too! They experimented on me and I got out before being raped out of sheer luck!”
I was desperate at that point, my voice shaking, but Maddy pushed me away from her.
“Did they force you into being a whore? Did they rape you every day? Sell your virginity to the highest bidder when you were twelve? You abandoned me there! You saw me in the market and you didn’t come for me.”
I would’ve tried explaining how hopeless it would have been to rescue her at the market, but Maddy went straight to the door.
“I don’t care about you. I don’t want to be here, and I sure as hell won’t share a room with you. I’m leaving.”
She didn’t make it past the door because Jane gently blocked her exit and calmly looked at her.
“Listen, Madison. I couldn’t help but overhear a bit of what you said. How about you stay in here with me instead?”
Maddy scoffed but waited for Jane’s reasoning. Jane lifted the back of her shirt, revealing her burn scars to Maddy.
“I understand what you’ve been through. I know what they did to you. Besides, it’s cold out and you’ll need food and shelter. Why not stay for one night to sort your thoughts? You’re free to leave any time you wish but make smart decisions. Just because you stay doesn’t mean you have to talk to Elin or anybody else you don’t like.”
Maddy scrutinized Jane for a long moment. “Fine,” she muttered.
Jane gave me a stern look. My objections were stuck on the tip of my tongue.
“Elin, a word outside please.” Jane closed the door. “Maybe you should leave her alone for a few days,” she said.
“But… I just found her.”
“Elin, the most important thing is for her to stay here. Frankly, she hates your guts. Not mine. I’m neutral. You want to keep her safe? Make sure she stays. Do everything you can for that, which right now is leaving her alone. Give her time to acclimate.”
I knew Jane was right, but it didn’t hurt any less that my sister hated me so much and didn’t want to see me.
With tears threatening to spill over, I retreated, rushing down the hallway. I intended to go to Jayden’s office, to hide away in his arms but when I passed it, I couldn’t. He called my name softly when I met his eyes but couldn’t go farther. I slightly shook my head and kept walking.
My sister had accused him of shooting her friend. She was so sure it had been him. She hated me for living with him, and if she knew my feelings for him she’d surely think I’d aba
ndoned her. How could she not?
I’d defended him nonetheless. After all, I still wanted to run to him for comfort, still wanted him by my side, still longed for his arms around me. But that night, I just couldn’t. Instead, I rushed to our room where I sat on the floor sobbing into my hands.
In one of Jayden’s drawers, I found a bottle of whiskey, and I desperately clutched the cool glass. I knew what Maddy said about me was true. There had been a point in time, when I first started to feel better, that I’d cared more about myself and maybe a little less about finding her. Guilt gripped my throat and I couldn’t breathe around it. I stared at the bottle in my shaking hands, unscrewed the lid and took a big gulp.
Twenty-Seven
Jayden
I sat in my office, staring at my desk. My ankle was throbbing with dull pain. I rolled it when I hit the ground but didn’t seem to have suffered any serious damage. I tried my best not to tremble with shock. I heard the door close and when I looked up, I watched Cam take a seat across from me. He’d changed back into his regular clothes and now eyed me curiously.
“What’s up? You don’t seem happy. I thought everything went quite well. Well, except for the little encounter with that other dude.”
“Maddy said I killed one of her friends in the labs. I left when it became clear that my presence only upset her more. Then Elin just walked by, shook her head at me and kept walking.”
Cam grimaced. “Ouch. Well, did you do it?” I gave him a puzzled look. “Did you kill her sister’s friend?”
I sighed. “I might’ve.”
“Might?” Cam asked.
“I don’t know. I killed girls in there when they tried to run. Frankly, she could show me a picture of the girl and I wouldn’t be able to tell you. That’s how many I shot while I was in there. Doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t think Elin hates me specifically for that one person, but because I shot so many people I can’t even remember.”