Persephone’s Curse

by Sandra Bats

  Part III

  Hope At Last

  Forty-One

  Elin

  Jayden didn’t know I was awake when he left for Alex’s funeral. I knew he wouldn’t have gone had he known. The decision of whether he went should’ve been his own. It was difficult enough to fight out with his own conscience, even without him worrying about my feelings. Even if he’d asked me whether he should attend, I would’ve been unable to give him an answer.

  The truth was, I hated Alex. There was no glossing over the fact that I was glad he was gone. I hated him for what he’d done, for having taken the feeling of safety from me and for having forced me into waking with nightmares again. I hated him for the way Jayden worried about me. Nevertheless, going to the funeral was important for Jayden. Had he stayed with me, he might have blamed himself forever and he already took the blame for so many things. He blamed himself for how Alex had turned out and for not having kicked him out a long time ago. Most of all, I knew he blamed himself for not having been there when Alex attacked me. He never talked about it, but I saw it in his eyes.

  For the next two days our room was my world and I spent most of my time sleeping and waking from nightmares. Jayden rarely left my side and if he did it was only to get us food or use the bathroom. After two days I got antsy to escape my bed and when Jayden left for a shower I carefully slipped out, my every move painful but at least I could walk on my own.

  I walked into the empty cafeteria. The space had once felt so homey, but I stood in the empty hall and wondered how I’d ever felt like I could stop watching my back. I sighed and went to get a glass of water.

  “Hey there.”

  I screamed and my glass slipped out of my hand, hitting the ground and shattering apart. I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to calm my rapid breathing when I recognized Kathy standing in the door.

  “Oh my, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to scare you,” she apologized, stepping closer.

  “It’s ok,” I forced my voice to stay level, though I felt like crying. “I’m just … I’m still a little jumpy.”

  She didn’t call me out for my understatement or ask how I was doing, making me grateful for not having to lie. Instead, she crouched down and picked up the broken glass, a task that seemed impossible with my shaking hands. She asked me to come along with her because she had a surprise for me.

  “I’m not too fond of surprises,” I pointed out and Kathy grimaced.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that. I can only imagine how hard it must be right now to trust anyone.” She tossed the broken glass into the garbage can. “We’d only be going cross the hall to Jane’s room. It’s a good surprise; a present of sorts we have for you.”

  I agreed and followed her from the cafeteria. Kathy opened the door and motioned for me to step into Jane’s room where Maddy and Jane sat at the desk, green fabric laid out between them and sewing equipment around them. I must have looked confused because Kathy clapped her hands in excitement as she explained.

  “We actually wanted to wait till your wedding day to tell you but we’re so excited and besides, we need to know if it fits. We’re making you a wedding dress.” I gasped and of course, then the green fabric made sense. “Well, you can’t get married without a dress, can you? And you look so beautiful in green. Did you know wedding dresses used to be white once?” Kathy blabbered on and I was so touched I could barely mutter a thank you past my voice breaking.

  “Hey, no crying,” Maddy called out laughingly, but Jane waved her hand.

  “Let her cry if she needs it. It’s been a few tumultuous days.”

  I met her eyes and Jane walked over to me, gently rubbing my back as she led me to a chair. For the first time I felt completely understood by her. It wasn’t just Jane, but it was Kathy and Maddy caring for me as well. They were my friends, not just because I was going to be Jayden’s wife, but because this was our home. Maybe, with them around, I’d manage to feel at home there again one day.

  I wiped the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath.

  “Ok then, would you like to try the dress on?” Jane asked.

  I hesitated. Not because I normally would’ve had issues about changing in front of them, but I worried they’d take one glance at my bruises and never see anything but a victim. But changing myself was out of the question, not with my movements still restricted by my injuries. Maddy rushed to help me.

  “Step behind the curtain here. It’s not like I haven’t seen all of it yet anyway.”

  I took her hand and let her pull me up from the chair before we disappeared behind the curtain that separated Jane’s room. She helped me into the dress and pulled the zipper up, warning me of the needles that still held some pieces together. I self-consciously crossed my arms in front of my chest. The bruises on my arms stood out against my pale skin but Maddy simply led me towards the mirror and ignored them.

  The dress was beautiful and simple. It reached just down to my knees, flared slightly at the hips and it swung when I moved, making it seem airy and delicate. I could see all my injuries, though and didn’t look like someone who deserved such a dazzling dress.

  Jane gently turned me towards her and away from the mirror. It made it easier, especially when she changed the topic.

  “I think we still need to take the sides in a bit. It’s still too wide. Maddy, pass me the needles.”

  Maddy did and seemed to catch on, tugging on the straps.

  “The straps are a bit long, too. We don’t want them to slip off your shoulders and annoy you all day,” she muttered, marking how much shorter they’d have to be.

  “So, how do you like it?” Kathy beamed.

  I took a deep breath. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

  Kathy winked. “Just wait until your wedding. You’ll feel beautiful, then.”

  A knock on the door startled me but when Kathy opened it a crack I could make out Jayden’s voice.

  “Have you seen Elin? I can’t find her.” He sounded worried.

  “She’s here, but you’ll have to wait outside. We’re making her a wedding dress and it’s bad luck if you see her in it before the wedding.”

  “Ok.” Jayden sighed, and I could almost imagine him running his hand through his hair. “She’s all right?”

  “I’m fine,” I called out.

  “I’ll wait outside for you then,” Jayden called back, the relief in his voice palpable.

  Kathy closed the door and as Maddy put a few more needles into the hem of the dress she joked about how Jayden was unable to stay away from me more than a few minutes. They couldn’t understand the full magnitude of consequences that Alex’s attack had on both Jayden and me.

  After we were done, I found Jayden leaning against the wall of the hallway. He moved towards me almost instantly and gently pulled me into his arms.

  “I was worried when I didn’t find you.”

  “You don’t have to be,” I pointed out.

  “I’ll always worry about you,” he responded, sounding so distressed it nearly broke my heart. I couldn’t let him see how shaken I still was because it would make him worry more and so I wrapped my arms around him.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Jayden. Alex waited for you to leave and besides, he’s dead. We need to be all right again because if we aren’t, he’ll have won.”

  Jayden tensed, and I knew he disapproved of my words even before he moved back to look at my face. “So you’re trying to tell me that you’re fine? Because I don’t believe that. Not for a second. Neither of us is fine. Not right now.”

  I flinched when his voice rose only the slightest bit and he pressed his lips together, giving me a look that said I’d just proved him right. He ran a hand through his hair.

  “You wake up screaming at night and I can’t bear the thought of letting you out of my sight. We’re far from ok.”

  He brushed his hands over my shoulders and I felt helpless once again.

  “We will be ok,” Jayden whispered, as he pulled me int
o his arms, holding me close to his body. “We will be, eventually. But we need time. Don’t rush this because you think it’s what’s expected of you. Healing takes time and I need you telling me the truth. I don’t want you telling me you’re fine, when you’re not. It’s no use.”

  I gripped the fabric of the back of his shirt and whispered into his chest. “I just want to forget it all. I just want to pretend it never happened.”

  Jayden cradled my face in his hands. His coarse, strong hands moved over my skin with unbelievable gentleness. He brushed over my cheekbones, then placed a light kiss on my head.

  “I know.” He sighed. “I want to forget too, but we know that won’t happen.”

  “What do we do then?” I asked.

  “We cope. We get through this together. The same way we always do, and I’ll love you all the way through it.”

  He emphasized his promise with a longing, slow kiss. It was the first one since the attack, the first real kiss he didn’t stop after only seconds, afraid I’d grow scared of him. I pressed up against him because he was the only thing in my life that always felt steady, the one thing I never doubted.

  ◆◆◆

  My bruises vanished over the following weeks, but my nightmares remained. Jayden helped me through them and with him by my side I at least didn’t feel so overwhelmed with fear. We decided on a new date for our wedding, having postponed it towards the end of July. By the time we reached the day before our wedding, our lives appeared to be back to normal, at least for the casual observer.

  I was lying on our bed, reading and Jayden was next to me, running his fingers over my back. He started murmuring.

  “So, tomorrow, huh?”

  Without thinking I turned to smile at him.

  “Your last night of freedom and you’re spending it with silly old me.”

  We both hesitated the moment those words left my mouth. I was so sick of it being like this, of either of us watching every single word and every step because everything brought up memories.

  “There’s no one I’d rather be with tonight,” Jayden whispered and then he leaned in to playfully rub his nose against mine. His voice was a tone deeper when he spoke again. “I can’t wait to see you in your dress. You should probably get some sleep, cause I intend to keep you up all night tomorrow.”

  We hadn’t slept with each other since before the attack. I’d been too bruised and too tired, and Jayden worried about me having flashbacks, so somehow it had been wordlessly agreed that we’d have sex again on our wedding night. But the evening before the special day, with Jayden in my arms, kissing me, I didn’t want to wait until then.

  “Tomorrow seems awfully far away,” I whispered, and he laughed, kissing me again.

  I didn’t want to worry about it all the next day, I wanted spontaneity and I was willing to make the first move. I kissed him again, and somehow — as I felt the dread and darkness of the last weeks ease away — Jayden relaxed, too. It didn’t really happen naturally, and there actually was a lot of fumbling around — mainly on my part — and Jayden persistently asking if everything was ok. As we breathed each other’s air, we belonged together again and for that night at least there was nothing that could’ve broken the world we’d created with each other.

  ◆◆◆

  Jayden was staring at me when I woke and I groaned as he smiled. I might have even tossed my pillow in the direction of his face. He caught it midair and stuck it under his head.

  “Good morning, beautiful.”

  I rubbed my eyes and yawned right in his face.

  “Morning. What time is it?”

  “Just after nine. I let you sleep in a little longer cause you looked so peaceful. I was worried I tired you out,” he joked.

  We had breakfast in bed. Jayden had sneaked some plates from the cafeteria. As we sat side by side and talked, Jayden tried stealing some of my scrambled eggs and I hit his fingers with my fork.

  “Leave my food alone!”

  “I thought from today on what’s mine is yours and yours is mine,” he pouted. “I thought you loved me.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “I do. But I also love breakfast.”

  “You wound me,” Jayden responded, dramatically pressing his hand over his chest.

  “But you love me,” I teased, and Jayden grinned widely.

  “Indeed, I do. I love that you never make it easy for me.” He kissed my collarbone. “And that you’re crazy.” He kissed my neck. “And beautiful.” Just beneath my earlobe. “And smart.” My jawline. “And too taken by me to get that I’m stealing your breakfast.”

  He picked up a piece of scrambled egg and put it in his mouth. I huffed.

  “Keep your fingers out of my food, I know where they’ve been.”

  Jayden wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive way and that earned him another pillow to the face. We laughed as I ate. I was growing eager to marry him.

  I spent my day out in the atrium, working, because time seemed to move so slowly the more I thought about the wedding. Kathy harvested some of the crops because she planned on making a big dinner for our celebration. She’d even sent some of the guys out to hunt and threatened them if they were to return with anything other than deer. I laughed about her being more excited for the wedding than me, but in reality, I doubted anybody could be more excited than I was. I wondered how Jayden felt, as we’d agreed to spend most of the day apart.

  In the afternoon I went to Jane’s room where she, Kathy and Maddy helped me get ready for the wedding. They fussed over my appearance, making me step into the dress, then did my hair.

  They tucked the right side of it back and let the rest fall to my shoulders in its natural curls, then tucked a white, wild rose into my newly-done tresses before they allowed me to take a look in the mirror.

  I almost didn’t recognize the girl who stared back at me. She was beautiful, and her dress hugged her so that she had more curves than I remembered having. Her pale skin set a nice contrast to her hair instead of making her appear sickly, as I’d always imagined.

  Maddy handed me a pair of green sandal heels, and I could barely see enough to put them on because I was fighting tears. I dabbed at my eyes, turning towards them.

  “Thank you all so much. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this pretty.” I took a steadying breath before turning towards Maddy. “There’s one more thing; would you be my maid of honor? You don’t have to do much, just stand by my side and be a witness. You’re the only family I have left and —”

  “Of course. I’d love to,” Maddy squealed and then hugged me.

  Jane checked the clock on the wall. “Oh, I’d better get to the auditorium,” she said.

  “I’ll go with her and check if everything’s ready. I’ll come get you when it is,” Kathy added skipping after Jane.

  “So, are you nervous?” Maddy asked as we waited.

  I shrugged a little. “Maybe a bit. I’m rather excited. I’m not having doubts, or anything. It’s the right decision but it’s still a big step. I’m ok though, I just hope Jayden’s not nervous. I don’t want him changing his mind.” I said it jokingly, but there was a tiny part of me that was a bit uneasy about it.

  “He won’t change his mind,” Maddy laughed as Kathy returned.

  “He didn’t. He’s waiting in the auditorium and they’re ready for you,” Kathy grinned, holding the door for us. “And I gotta, say Jayden looks handsome. You sure are one lucky girl.”

  I giggled, giddy with butterflies in my stomach, and I had to hold myself back from running towards the auditorium.

  Kathy and Maddy slipped into the assembly hall, telling me to count to ten before I entered and then left me alone in the hallway. I took a last steadying breath. My hands shook when I reached for the doorknob and stepped inside.

  Forty-Two

  Jayden

  I arranged some candles around the room for later that night. When I was done I put some away again. Didn’t want to set the room on fire. I recognized the nerves
in my indecision. I didn’t doubt for a second that marrying Elin was what I wanted, but still, those nerves. I shook my head. Black jeans and a black button-down shirt. They were the same clothes I’d worn when I kissed Elin for the first time. She’d once told me that she liked me dressed in all black. That it set off my blonde hair and made me look daring. It was also the nicest shirt I owned.

  A knock on the door had me looking up. Cam stuck his head inside, first scanning the room then me.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  I took a deep breath. “I guess so. You have the rings?”

  “Right here,” he patted his jeans pocket then grinned. “You seem a bit, dare I say, nervous. How come? Not like she’d change her mind last minute.”

  I awkwardly smiled in agreement. Elin changing her mind was exactly what I worried about. What if she got cold feet cause I’d sprung that engagement on her? Maybe she realized she’d only said yes because I seemed vulnerable that night.

  Cam laughed, shaking his head at me.

  “Come on, Jay. You guys are like … the ideal couple. She loves you. I really think there’s nothing, no matter what idiotic thing you do, that could make her abandon you today. Stop being so nervous. I’m not used to it from you and frankly it’s annoying.”

  I made a face at him, but his words helped me relax a bit.

  We got to the auditorium the same time Kathy did. She opened the door and peeked inside, then excitedly spun around to face us.

  “Everyone’s here. Oh, Jayden, you’ll be stunned when you see Elin.” She took a step back giving me a once over. “I gotta say, though, you don’t look too bad yourself."

  I grinned. “Well, I’m sorry to say but all this,” I gestured at myself, “isn’t on the market anymore.”

  Kathy wrinkled her nose. “I said you cleaned up well, not that I wanted to jump your bones. No offense, but you’re so not my type. I already got my eyes set on someone else. … But a lady doesn’t tell her secrets. Anyway, I’m off to get the bride. You’d better hurry inside and get on your mark.”