Ruby Among Us

by Tina Ann Forkner

  “Uh-oh,” Max said. “Now I’ve done it! I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t do it,” I assured him. “The album’s old. This was bound to happen eventually.”

  As I reached down to pick up the picture, I gasped. The eight-by-ten photo of Ruby and me had landed upside down, and taped on the back were two smaller pictures. The people who stared at me were strangers but at once completely familiar.

  The first photograph was black and white and pictured Kitty and Blake—it had to be him—on the porch of what might have been the vineyard estate Kitty had described. Kitty was dressed in the most gorgeous wedding gown I’d ever seen, with yards and yards of lace. I stared at the man I was sure had been my grandfather. He was handsome and had the easygoing look of a casual man, which his fancy suit couldn’t hide.

  The other portrait was in color and was of Ruby with a man and a little girl. I was absolutely shocked to see a picture of Blake and me sharing the same lens. He had more lines around his eyes and looked to be about as old as Dr. Larimer. Ruby looked to be in her early-or midtwenties.

  “Is that little girl with the curly pigtails you?”

  I took a deep breath. “I think so.”

  “But I thought you didn’t know your grandfather.”

  “I don’t… I didn’t… At least I don’t remember him. I have barely any memories before Ruby’s death.”

  “Do you think Ruby might have known him?”

  “Maybe. I think Ruby could have had a connection to La Rosaleda. I had an interesting conversation with Dr. Larimer when we went to visit Mary yesterday. Do you remember my telling you about him?”

  “You said your mother and Dr. Larimer were friends as children.”

  “Right, but Dr. Larimer and I got interrupted by his beeper, so he couldn’t finish telling me about his time with Ruby. He made me promise I’d talk to him later. I was hoping he’d tell me if she’d ever gone back.”

  “Apparently she did.”

  “And I guess she took me with her.”

  Max turned my chin toward him. “You guess? Lucy, you’re so used to not remembering that you can’t even see the proof you hold in your hands. Of course you’ve been to La Rosaleda with Ruby. And you met your grandfather. Just look at how happy you must have made him!”

  I looked back at the picture. Blake was in the center holding me in one arm with his other around Ruby. She had one arm wrapped around him while her other arm rested on my leg, like she’d been patting my thigh. I was laughing! We were all laughing at something.

  “Look,” Max said, pointing to the banister in the picture. “It’s the same as the picture of Kitty and Blake.”

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was. The potted plants and outdoor furniture were different, but it was the same porch. Even the big door and ornate knocker in the background were the same in both pictures.

  “Ruby did go back,” I said quietly.

  After I’d studied the pictures for a while, I retrieved some tape from the drawer, and gathered the pictures to reposition them in the album.

  “You’re putting them back?” Max seemed incredulous.

  “Kitty isn’t ready to tell me about all of this yet or she would have shown me these.”

  Max said nothing as he helped me stick new tape on the back of the photo where the old tape had been. It looked like it had been removed before over the years and had slightly torn away the paper. At least I didn’t have to worry about damaging it. We replaced the album on the coffee table, and I tried to mentally rearrange my thoughts to think about our date with Susannah and her husband.

  I hurriedly wrote Kitty a note to tell her where I was.

  “Ready?” Max asked, holding the door. We stepped down the walk, and he guided me to the curb and a yellow minivan.

  An appropriate vehicle for a youth minister, I thought.

  “I wonder why Kitty didn’t tell me I had been to La Rosaleda,” I said, buckling my seat belt.

  Max shrugged. “I don’t know Kitty very well, but from an outsider’s point of view, there must be something in La Rosaleda she doesn’t want to go back to.”

  I knew. “She can’t face Blake—my grandfather doesn’t know she has been—” I hesitated, not wanting to smear my Kitty’s reputation.

  Max cleared his throat “That she’s dated other men since… La Rosaleda?”

  “Yes,” I replied simply. I didn’t want to voice the question troubling me: How could Kitty have been unfaithful to Blake?

  “Maybe that’s enough for her to deal with. She’s probably too ashamed to face Blake.”

  “Perhaps, but why didn’t my grandfather come for her? If he’d reunited with Ruby and had a relationship with us, then he would have known how to find Kitty.”

  “Maybe Kitty has a reason to doubt that he would welcome her. Maybe he didn’t want to find her.”

  Perhaps Max was right. Kitty’s sins might be too big to be forgiven. Perhaps my grandfather hadn’t wondered about her at all, like I’d imagined.

  We drove in silence for a few moments. I attempted to change the subject. “So how did you get so wise?”

  He laughed. “You want my life story? Let’s see…my grandmother was the child of German immigrants who made a living on the coast and still do. My mother is a lawyer, and my dad is still a fisherman. I grew up in San Francisco and graduated with a music degree from Berkeley before moving to Sacramento three years ago to get my bachelor’s in business. Meanwhile I’ve joined the symphony, done some student teaching, found God, and become a lowly youth pastor, much to the chagrin of my mother.”

  His hands swiftly turned the wheel at an intersection. “I discovered it was hard to make a living as a youth pastor and figured I might never be able to find a wife if I didn’t learn how to make some money on the side.”

  We laughed, and he flipped on the radio, tuning from a rock station to one playing classical music.

  “But your parents both have good jobs. Why would you worry about making ends meet? Don’t they want to help you in your ministry?”

  “My parents are loaded,” he said, as if only half joking. “But I don’t want to just live off of them.”

  I was thoughtful for a moment. Kitty and I had always lived a very simple life. She seemed to have a very strict budget; I’d always had the feeling there couldn’t be much extra. The idea that Max had access to money that could make his life easier but instead refused it was interesting to me.

  “Are your parents still married?”

  “Amazingly, yes.”

  “How on earth do they make that work? I mean the life of a lawyer doesn’t really fit with being a fisherman.”

  He shrugged. “It doesn’t. Notwithstanding her disappointment in me, my mom’s a pretty amazing lady really. She puts up with a lot from my dad and his job, but he does the same for her. They haven’t spent a lot of time together over the years, but they share a strong work ethic, and one of these days I think they’ll both throw their careers out the window and spend their time on what they both love.” He leaned in toward me. “Sailing.”

  “How romantic.”

  “Well, they deserve romantic. Law and stinky fish don’t exactly allow for a lot of romance.”

  I wanted to ask what he meant about his mom’s disappointment in him, but we’d just pulled up to Susannah and Troy’s house. Always questions, I thought. Never enough time for answers.

  “I’m so glad you came,” Susannah said, climbing into the backseat.

  Troy extended his hand in a warm greeting, and we were on our way to downtown Sacramento.

  The aroma of barbecue wafted through the Western-looking Old Sacramento, which teemed with people, but it was a booth of Chinese food that made Max stop.

  “Are you a fan of Chinese?”

  “Yes,” I said. “And Vietnamese and all kinds of sushi.”

  “You’re just full of surprises.”

  “Lucy! Come with me!” Susannah grabbed my hand.

  It was the dreaded gi
rls-heading-to-the-bathroom-together moment. I hated the way Max and Troy looked at each other knowingly as we walked away. Why did girls do this? Couldn’t we just go for a walk? But I had to laugh when Susannah said before the bathroom door even shut, “He so digs you!”

  “Digs?”

  “Max is so into you. Are you interested in him too?”

  “Just between us?”

  “Just between us girls,” Susannah promised.

  “I’m really into him too.”

  We stepped outside as my stomach growled.

  “I’m in serious need of some sushi,” I said, hoping to deflect the attention from me to what I knew Susannah loved—lots of food.

  Max and Troy shot an amused look at one another, and Troy poked teasingly at Max.

  “Do they know we were talking about Max?” I felt my face go red.

  “Of course!” Susannah laughed. “But we’ll keep them wondering.” She turned serious for a moment. “Listen, Lucy. I just wanted to talk to you about one thing real quick.”

  “What is it?”

  “I know your grandmother—”

  “Kitty.”

  “Yes, Kitty is very cautious of men, and that’s good. But I just want to vouch for Max. He’s a great guy. We’ve had him over for dinner and…”

  “Hey!” I said accusingly. “You haven’t even had me over for dinner yet!”

  “I will! Soon! But I want you to know that Max seems so great—nice, the real thing.”

  I wanted so much for that to be true.

  “What is it?” I could tell she sensed my hesitation.

  “I’m just a little worried about our difference of beliefs.”

  “Our difference of beliefs?”

  “No, I mean Max being a minister.” I shrugged. “Maybe we could be one of those two-belief couples?” I tried to laugh.

  Susannah smiled, but I had the feeling she disagreed. “Lucy, don’t worry over this. It will work itself out. Worse things could happen than you converting to Christianity.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “I didn’t say I would ever convert to anything.”

  “I know,” Susannah said. “I wasn’t saying you would. And if you don’t, I still love you—you’re my friend.” She gave me one of her spontaneous hugs. Her total acceptance of me always surprised and moved me.

  “Come on, you two!” Troy called. “We’re starving.”

  Eventually the quiet sound of the river drew us away from the food booths and storefronts. We walked along the riverfront for a while. I watched Susannah and Troy curiously as they teased and cuddled. How lucky their Maria is, I thought. How good it must be to see your parents in love.

  I tried to imagine Blake and Kitty at Susannah and Troy’s age, and my heart went out to Ruby. How much she missed, never seeing her parents in love. Before I could feel too sad for myself, Max pointed out a particular floating restaurant.

  I was reminded that his father was a fisherman. “Did you go out on your dad’s fishing boats much?”

  “All the time.”

  “And you liked it?”

  “Loved it.”

  “Do you know how to fish?”

  “Does Kitty know how to quilt?”

  I laughed. “Then where in the world did you learn music?”

  “My dad started teaching me how to play the guitar when we had time. When I showed some talent, my mom decided I needed to learn as many instruments as possible, so she signed me up for everything.”

  “I know the feeling,” I said. “Kitty did the same thing. It was exhausting sometimes.”

  “Yeah,” Max agreed. “But you must have loved it to excel at it. I know I did.”

  “I did. I still love music, especially the violin.”

  “Have you thought about auditioning for the symphony?”

  “No, I only play piano in public at the gallery. Kitty didn’t have the money to invest in the performance part. Last year I dropped all the lessons in fact. Now I just play on my own.”

  Ahead of us Susannah gasped. “The baby-sitter is expecting us in twenty minutes! Do you mind if we go?”

  We headed for the car, and I looked at my watch. I hadn’t realized it was so late.

  “Past your curfew?” Max teased after dropping off Susannah and Troy.

  “I don’t know if I even have a curfew.”

  “Well, you’d better go in before she comes out chasing me away with the broom.” He pulled up to our walkway.

  I laughed. “Oh, she wouldn’t even need a broom.”

  Max hopped out of the van to escort me to the door.

  I smiled up at him. “Well, good night.” It seemed so inadequate to end the night with those words, but I knew if he tried to kiss me, I would duck. I’d never kissed a man before and wasn’t sure what to expect. Besides, was kissing on the first date even appropriate? What were his religious convictions about that? There were so many things I wished Ruby were there to help me understand.

  “Hug?” he asked sheepishly, but his brown eyes twinkled.

  I stepped into his arms and liked the mixed scent of soap and cologne on his T-shirt. His arms around me felt safe and secure but dangerous in a way I had no experience at dealing with.

  After a long minute, I gently extracted myself from his arms.

  “Good night, Lucy girl.”

  “I’m nineteen,” I protested with a smile.

  His gaze lifted me closer.

  “No,” he whispered. “You are not a girl.”

  His lips brushed mine before I could think of what was happening. Then he reached behind me and turned the doorknob. “Bye,” he said as he gently pushed me through the door, like he was tucking me in, back safe at home.

  I peeked out the door to watch him climb into his car; he waved before driving away.

  Watching his van disappear, I found myself wishing the kiss, if it was that, had lasted longer. When one waits her whole life for such a moment, she wants to savor it. So I touched my lips trying to feel what was left.

  I shut the door and found Kitty sitting asleep in the blue velvet chair. I hadn’t realized she would wait up for me. I walked over to her, hesitating to wake her up. The album was on my desk beside her chair, and I wondered if she’d been looking at the photos. Had she noticed I’d retaped them? Would she say something to me if she had? I reached out and rubbed the velvet of the chair she sat in.

  According to Kitty’s story, my great-grandmother Freda had given the chair to her before she gave it to Ruby. Now the chair was mine, but in Kitty’s story there had been two chairs. What had happened to the other one, and how had this one ended up here? Even though Kitty claimed she’d given it to Ruby, how could that be possible if Kitty had never gone back home to get the chair? Could Blake have given it to Ruby after they reunited?

  Kitty looked tired when she opened her eyes.

  “Hi,” I whispered. “I’m sorry you stayed up—you should have gone to bed.”

  “On your first date?” she asked incredulously. “Of course not!”

  I smiled. “I’m glad I wasn’t thinking of it as a real date, or I would have been even more nervous!”

  “Tell me all about it.”

  I perched on the arm of the blue velvet chair and told her about the food, meeting Susannah’s husband, Troy, our walk along the riverfront. I kept the good-night hug and what may or may not have been my first kiss to myself, and she didn’t ask.

  Kitty smiled. “Susannah and Max are such nice kids. I’d like to meet this Troy too. It seems as if you girls make better decisions about men than I used to.”

  “But you chose Blake,” I said. “He was a good decision.”

  “Yes,” she agreed. “Besides Ruby he was the best decision I ever made. His decision didn’t turn out so well though, did it?” Her eyes glistened.

  “I don’t believe that.” I leaned over to hug her.

  “Believe it, Lucy. I’m glad you love me, dear. But I can’t erase some things I’ve done. I’ve made too many mistake
s. Blake would have been better off if he had never met me.”

  “How can you know that?”

  “I just know, that’s all.”

  “Maybe you should let him decide.”

  She pushed me up from the chair and stood up as she shook her head no. “If you’re suggesting I go back to La Rosaleda, Lucy, it won’t do you any good. Your mom tried the same thing, and it didn’t work.”

  “I know,” I said. “I found…”

  “The pictures,” she finished. She looked disapprovingly at me.

  “Max and I were looking at the pictures together, and they fell out. I’m sorry. I wasn’t snooping.”

  “I believe you,” she said. “I suppose you need an explanation.”

  I nodded and sat down on the couch. She limped over, her muscles stiff from sleeping in the chair.

  Putting her arm around me, she said, “Are you tired?”

  “No.” And I wasn’t. There had been too much excitement in my life lately, especially today, to go to bed. “But you are.”

  “Fiddlesticks. Go put on a pot of tea.”

  My heart raced. Was I going to hear about how I’d met my grandfather? I nearly scalded myself as I poured the tea and carried two cups back to the living room. I found Kitty staring at the photographs I’d found earlier that evening.

  “They were taken on the same front porch,” I said.

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t understand. I thought La Rosaleda had been left far behind.” I thought of Dr. Larimer’s revelations but didn’t want to overburden Kitty’s feelings any more than they already were.

  “La Rosaleda was left far behind for me but not for Ruby.” Kitty shook her head. “Never for Ruby. She missed her father so much that she never let go. I think now that I should have left her with him.”

  “Kitty! You never could have left her!”

  “No,” she agreed. “But I should have tried. I shouldn’t have subjected her to my mistakes. They weren’t her fault, and she never understood. She never knew the full truth, and she blamed me for depriving her of her father.”