by Karen Kirst
“No, not yet.”
Ellie brought her hands together and was once again startled at the bare spot on her left ring finger. Removing her wedding band had been necessary for their scheme to work. Why it had proved emotional she couldn’t pinpoint...it had felt like a final goodbye to that period in her life. Only, she carried inside her a permanent link to Nolan.
She shook off the sentimental thoughts to refocus on the lady awaiting more information. Ellie had fielded this same question dozens of times in the short time since Alexander had fabricated their engagement. Agreeing to his plan had seemed like a good idea—a temporary solution until the baby was born and she’d regained her emotional and physical footing. He’d insisted that he had no interest in courting anyone, so their fake engagement could continue indefinitely. Unable to resist the lure of his protection, she’d agreed despite her qualms.
She hadn’t anticipated their charade would be this complicated.
Mrs. Carpenter glanced deliberately to Ellie’s protruding middle. “Better remind him time is short.”
Her cheeks tingled. “Yes, I’ll do that. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go inside. Today’s inventory day. Lots to do.”
“I saw that the café was closed. Well, enjoy your day away from the stove.”
“Good day, Mrs. Carpenter.”
Ellie entered the building through the rear entrance. The kitchen was empty, and she could hear Flo and Sally chatting in the dining room. They must’ve started inventorying the items in the hutches. Not ready to face their inquisition—they’d made eye contact at church the day before but couldn’t reach her for the crowd—she entered the hallway intent on speaking with Alexander.
She found him in the storeroom, clipboard in hand and a pencil lodged behind one ear. He’d shed his dark jacket and vest and rolled up the sleeves of his kelly-green shirt. The vibrant color was in stark contrast to his inky black locks. She’d been held by this man, had sought and received comfort in his embrace, which he’d readily offered. Nolan had not been a sympathetic man, and she’d quickly learned not to seek it from him.
When he looked up and smiled, his blue eyes warming at the sight of her, Ellie found herself in deep waters. He grew more handsome with each passing day. She could never tire of soaking in his countenance, especially now that he was regarding her as one would a friend instead of an irritating employee who didn’t know her place.
“Ellie. You look refreshed. Did you have a relaxing Sunday?”
Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it. “Not exactly.”
“What’s the matter?” His smile slipped. “Gladys and Nadine didn’t pay you a visit, did they?”
“No.” Sliding her reticule ribbon free of her wrist, she laid the pink-and-cream pouch with seashell embroidery—another of her grandmother’s possessions—on a shelf. “I haven’t seen them since Saturday. The problem lies with the holes in our plan.”
“What holes?”
“People are pressing me for a wedding date. Some have been very vocal about it. They are expecting us to wed before the baby comes, and I can’t say I blame them. That would be the logical course of action.”
He clutched the clipboard to his chest. “I admit the thought didn’t cross my mind.”
“Mine either.” She bit her lip. “There’s something else.”
“Tell me.”
“A number of people have cautioned me against marrying you.”
He smirked. “Not surprising considering I’ve avoided them like the plague. I’m sure there are a number of rumors out there as to the cause of my unsociable behavior.”
“It’s not that.” She shook her head. “There’s concern regarding your spiritual condition. You don’t attend services.”
“Ah.” He didn’t get angry, as she’d feared. Nor did he appear offended. She did detect a hint of rebelliousness, however, and so was surprised at his response. “That’s easily remedied. I’ll go with you.”
“You will?”
“This was my idea, Ellie, and I’m prepared to see it through.”
“Every Sunday?”
“As long as my ulcer is behaving, then yes—every Sunday.”
Ellie could hardly believe it. Perhaps this plan would benefit not only her, but Alexander, as well. Long-lasting benefits, she hoped. Reaching around, she absently rubbed her lower back muscles, which were becoming stiff and sore with regularity now that her baby was growing larger. A small price to pay.
Alexander’s gaze lowered to her belly, then slowly lifted to her face, snagging on her mouth. Indefinable emotion pulsed in the brilliant blue depths. Ellie stilled. The atmosphere between them became charged. What was happening?
He turned away and dragged a hand over his mouth. “I, ah, should get back to the task at hand.”
“Of course.” Her heart fluttered in her chest. Convinced she was imagining things, she hovered in the doorway. “We never settled on a solution for the wedding date dilemma.”
Not looking at her, he said, “Let them wonder. I’m sure they’ll come up with their own conclusions.”
“Right. Like fictional family members who want us to wait until they can make it for the wedding?”
He kicked up a shoulder. “Could be. Or perhaps you want to wait until you can wear your grandmother’s wedding dress for the ceremony. Most folks tend to have active imaginations.”
He still wasn’t looking at her, so Ellie took that as her cue to leave. The instant she stepped into the hallway, she was ambushed by her fellow employees.
“We’ve been waiting to talk to you!” Sally’s hushed voice was rife with excitement.
“That’s right, and we’re all out of patience.” Flo linked her arm through Ellie’s and guided her through the kitchen and out into the garden. Releasing her, she folded her arms. “What I’d like to know is how you managed to convince that young man to relinquish his solitude in exchange for marriage and fatherhood.”
Sally clasped her hands together and gave an exaggerated sigh. “Isn’t it obvious? He’s fallen in love with her.”
Her heart squeezed with a sudden, hopeless longing. Alexander was no longer the brooding boss who did everything in his power to avoid her. She’d gotten to know him, had glimpsed the caring, thoughtful heart protected by layers of fortified armor. She had no doubt he’d make a fine husband and father.
“Our engagement has nothing to do with love,” she insisted. “Alexander is a practical man. He’s marrying me to provide my baby with a father.”
Sally resisted that answer. “He has feelings for you,” she charged, pointing her finger. “I know it.”
Older, wiser Flo narrowed her gaze. “You expect us to believe that Mr. Copeland suddenly had the urge to play papa? And that he’s willing to sacrifice his bachelorhood to do a good deed for you?”
“We’ve become friends.” She absently fingered a pumpkin plant. “Besides, he’s at the point in his life where he’s ready for a family of his own, just not in the traditional means.”
“Humph.”
Ellie resisted the urge to squirm. Was guilt stamped across her features? Was there a telltale wobble in her voice? She’d never been good at keeping secrets. No amount of rationalizing could free her from the knowledge that they were essentially deceiving the entire town. Neither planned to follow through on this sham engagement.
What would you say if he asked for real?
Before she could dwell too long on that notion, Alexander came outside and stood on the stoop. “Taking a break in the vegetable garden, ladies?”
“We were congratulating Ellie on her engagement,” Sally piped up.
His gaze locked onto Ellie’s. “I’m a fortunate man.”
Her tummy tumbled. The dip of his husky voice washed over her in a sweet caress. Her scalp prickled. He
r emotions were beyond managing.
This charade of theirs was like a hidden whirlpool in storm-swollen rapids, the dangers not visible until one was already waist-deep in the water. Alexander was the whirlpool, drawing her in with his hero-on-a-white-horse behavior. Before long, she wouldn’t be able to touch bottom, too far from shore for rescue.
* * *
Why had he agreed to this?
The church doors mocked him. To others, walking through those doors led to an uplifting worship experience. For him, they opened up a storehouse of despair-laced memories and anger at God, who’d allowed evil to triumph.
“Alexander?” Ellie was next to him on the stairs, her face a mask of concern. “You look ill.”
“I feel ill,” he muttered, tugging at his tie.
“When was the last time you were inside a church?”
“The day I buried my wife and child.”
She uttered a quiet gasp. “You don’t have to come inside.”
“I made you a promise, and I aim to stick to it.” Even if it meant another trip to the doctor. So far, his stomach was holding up against the onslaught of churning emotions.
“We’ve never discussed the subject of faith. Do you have a relationship with God? Have you ever placed your trust in Christ Jesus?”
“You ask hard questions.”
Fortunately, the churchyard was inhabited only by shuffling horses hitched to wagons. He’d timed their arrival to when the congregation would already be singing hymns. Less time for folks to pepper him with questions.
Ellie said nothing. She didn’t make excuses, didn’t spare him. Instead, she waited with her small hands folded atop her swollen abdomen, her big brown eyes shining with compassion and caring. He’d never had a female friend before. It was both comforting and confusing. The confusing part stemmed from the fact her beauty seemed to increase with each passing day. Today she was wearing one of his favorite colors on her, a buttery yellow that lent her flowing brown tresses a rich chestnut shine.
“We’re engaged,” she said simply. “I should know these things.”
“Right. I was taught Scriptures from a young age. One of my most poignant memories of my mother is sitting on her lap each night in front of the fireplace, the big family Bible spread out before us as she read to me.”
“That’s a nice memory.”
“After she passed, Rosa filled that gap. She used to sing hymns in her native Spanish and then translate them for us.”
She smiled gently. “I’m glad you had someone like her in your life. While I would’ve given anything to have my parents, I treasured my childhood with my grandparents. They wrapped me in unconditional love. It sounds like Rosa did the same for you and your siblings. Did she attend church with your family?”
He nodded. “I heard the gospel both at church and at home. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I finally acknowledged my need for forgiveness and a personal relationship with the Savior. How old were you?”
Her smile turned nostalgic. “Thirteen. A decision I’ve never regretted.”
His mood darkened. “I never thought I’d feel betrayed by the One who created and redeemed me. Sarah and Levi’s deaths were unnecessary. Wrong.” He fisted his hands at his sides. “I tried to save them, you know. I was riding in from the fields when I saw the smoke. I didn’t immediately panic because Sarah was supposed to have taken Levi to a neighbor’s for an afternoon visit. When I passed the barn, I saw the wagon still inside. That’s when I went crazy. The ranch hands tried to prevent me from going in. They said it was too late. Too dangerous. But I had to try.”
Ellie’s cool hands enveloped his right one. “I can’t imagine the pain you’ve endured.”
“You asked about the scars on my hands. I got them that day. The smoke was so thick, I could hardly breathe. But I battled onward.” Thrust back in that raging inferno, he struggled to draw breath. “I finally located them in the bedroom beside the window. Sarah must’ve gotten sick and decided to stay home and nap. I believe she tried to get our son to safety but was too weak.”
The singing inside ended. Movement indicated the congregation had taken their seats.
She stroked his scars. “You did everything humanly possible to save them.”
“You’re right. I’m only human. Which begs the question, why didn’t God intervene? He could’ve spared their lives. I would still be in Texas on my ranch, teaching my son to ride like my father did me.”
He didn’t attempt to hide the hollowness grief had carved inside. Dismay flashed upon Ellie’s features before she smoothed the emotion away.
She squared her shoulders. “I understand how you feel. God could’ve spared my babies. He could’ve prevented the accident that called my parents to heaven. But He chose not to. Sometimes trials find us, and we can’t see any logical reasons why God allows them. We simply have to trust in His divine plan and lean on Him for strength.”
Emotion churning in his gut, Alexander reached up and lightly ran his knuckles along her cheek.
“You’re a wise woman, Ellie Jameson. A better person than I’ll ever be.”
Her eyes widened and lips parted—a response to his words or his touch? Maybe both?
“You’ve suffered a great tragedy. Everyone deals with things in their own way and their own time.” She gestured to the doors. “I don’t mind going in alone. Wait another week. See how you feel then.”
He couldn’t deny he was tempted. “No. It’s time I started facing unpleasant things instead of running from them.”
“I hope, in time, you don’t view a chance to hear God’s word preached as unpleasant,” she said gently.
In answer, he took her elbow and guided her up the steps and inside a building he’d never planned on entering.
Chapter Twelve
That was the longest service in recent memory. Typically, Ellie relished being among fellow believers, but knowing what a trial it was for Alexander dimmed her pleasure. As the yard emptied of families eager for their noon meal, she studied his hard-as-marble profile. He carried himself with the stiff forbearance of a prisoner facing execution.
Their earlier conversation weighed on her mind. One part in particular troubled her—the part about a different outcome of that terrible fire. If he’d remained in Texas, she never would’ve met him. She felt ashamed for the instant protest that had risen up inside her. Worried, too, because the thought of not knowing Alexander caused her disconcerting sadness, a sign that her feelings were far from platonic.
They were nearing the cemetery and the path that led to June’s farmhouse when Sally intercepted them.
“Ellie! Mr. Copeland!” She rushed up, brimming with excitement. “My folks are going to the river for a picnic lunch, and we’d love for you to join us.”
Alexander turned to Ellie. The skin across his cheekbones looked tight. “I was planning on a simple lunch at home, but you should go if you feel up to it.”
“I think a picnic sounds lovely.” She glanced at the clear blue sky above. The day was warm, resembling summer rather than autumn. “In a few short weeks, we’ll be stuck inside. We should take advantage of the nice weather. Why don’t you go with me?”
He opened his mouth, denial written on his face.
“Mama and my sisters have prepared a delicious spread. Enough to feed an army regiment.” With a furtive glance over her shoulder, she leaned in to confide, “I invited the deputy, and he said yes.”
Alexander’s brows snapped together. “About Ben, I’ve been meaning to speak to you—”
“Sally! Let’s go!” On the opposite side of the field, her brother beckoned. Ben was standing with him.
She let out a squeal. “This is going to be the best day of my life. I’ve finally worked up the courage to invite him to the harvest dance.”
“Are you certain that’s a good idea?” Alexander said quietly, his concern mirroring Ellie’s. Apparently she wasn’t the only one with reservations.
“He’s the best man I’ve ever met,” she gushed. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Walking backward, she said, “Will you come? Both of you?”
Alexander reluctantly nodded. “We’ll be there.”
When she’d crossed the field, he held out his arm for Ellie. “I suppose appearing together in public will aid your cause.”
She experienced a twinge of disappointment. It would’ve been nice if he’d acquiesced because he wanted to spend a relaxing afternoon in her company.
Resting her hand lightly upon his suit sleeve, she strolled with him toward Main Street. “An employee sharing a meal with her boss isn’t so out of the ordinary, is it?” she quipped.
He didn’t speak for long minutes. As they came alongside the livery, he said carefully, “You’ve got a point.”
“I do?”
“It’s not enough to say we’re engaged.” He cut her a side glance. “In my experience, couples headed to the altar display at least a modicum of affection for one another.”
Anticipation warred with common sense. “Alexander, are you suggesting we pretend to be madly in love?”
The café’s front facade came into view. The windows with gold lettering sparkled, the yellow draperies visible from the street. Twin pots of orange and purple mums had been placed on either side of the entrance. Several benches lined up on the boardwalk outside, offering rest for passersby. Today they were empty.
He inhaled deeply. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting.” His dark brows formed a V. “Although madly in love may be stretching things a bit. I’m certain most people consider our match a practical one. We’re merging our personal and professional lives. Still, I believe we should at least enact a fondness for each other.”
Passing through the alleyway, they reached the barn’s entrance. He angled toward her. “Well?”
Ellie met his gaze squarely. “Alexander, I don’t have to pretend. I truly am fond of you.”
Color crept up his neck. “I didn’t mean to imply the feeling isn’t mutual. I just meant...” He gave a self-conscious laugh. “This is an awkward business.”