Our Song

by Runow, Lauren

“You know I love the way you guys make up lyrics, but this new one had other moms glaring at me at the park the other day.” Linda eyes Adam, and he laughs out loud, clapping his hands together.

  “Oh, come on. That’s the best one,” he says, still laughing.

  “I haven’t heard this one,” I say, wanting in on the little joke they have going on.

  “Ready, Cailin?” Adam asks.

  Adam stands, and Cailin’s quick to join him. He holds out his hands in front of him and pretends to play the saxophone, even making the noises with his mouth to a tune I recognize but can’t quite put my finger on until they both sing, “Now, I can see your butt crack!”

  They high-five, and Cailin’s giggle brings a huge smile to my face as they rejoin us at the table.

  “The lyrics talk about making your hands clap, not seeing your butt crack,” Linda deadpans as she raises her eyebrows to me.

  I almost spit out my drink and cover my mouth to make sure nothing flies out.

  These two really are something special together.

  Adam talks about how Cailin’s kept him on his toes all these years, and I think back to the time I first started following him. I had already liked their music for a while when I first saw the bad-boy rock star on the front of a tabloid magazine.

  His eyes caught my attention first. I’m not one to long after famous people or even lust after hot guys, but there was something about him that made my heart pound and my stomach flip. I used to imagine what his life was like, and knowing now that he was home with a baby—and actually being a dad to that baby—blows my mind.

  It’s making me even more curious how there’s no mention of her mom. I’ve heard stories of nannies, maids, and even Linda helping out, but nothing about the woman who gave birth to her.

  Linda places her napkin on her plate. “Well, this has been fun, but it’s getting to be my bedtime. Why don’t I help you clean up before we head home?”

  Adam stands and grabs her plate from her. “It’s no big deal. You’ve already done so much for me. I’ve got this.”

  He grabs Wayne’s plate and then his own.

  I reach for the others and stand. “Here, I can help.”

  “Come with me. Let’s get you ready for bed before I take off.” Linda holds out her hand, and Cailin grabs it, skipping into the house.

  Adam and I meet at the sink, and he takes the plates from me.

  “What can I do?” I ask.

  He gives me a quick peek. “I’ve got it, but you can stay here and keep me company.”

  I lean up against the counter, keeping my hands behind me on the granite. “You’ve done an amazing job with her. I’m impressed.”

  “Coming from a teacher, that means a lot. Thank you.”

  I chuckle under my breath. “Just because I’m a teacher doesn’t mean I know how to raise a child. I only get them for a few hours a day. You’ve had her for years.”

  He grabs a cup while glancing my way. “You do better than you know. Cailin tells me all about her day, and every sentence has something to do with you.”

  I’ve gotten compliments from other parents, but hearing it come from him means something different, something more. It makes me proud of what I’ve become, knowing I’ve made a difference in his life similar to the way he’s made a difference in mine through his music.

  “She’s a joy to have,” I say, putting the salad dressing in the fridge. “The potato salad was good. Did you really make it?” I say, covering it with the tinfoil that was sitting next to it.

  “Does that surprise you?” he asks with a smirk on his face.

  I shrug. “A little. I guess I never pictured you as a cook.”

  He places the last plate in the dishwasher, closes it, and grabs a towel. As he dries his hands, he leans against the counter. “So, you’ve pictured me then?”

  My face instantly flushes. “I mean, by the pictures I’ve seen online, you don’t look like you’d be at home, dicing eggs.”

  He laughs and places the towel on the handle of the dishwasher. “There’s a lot about me that people don’t see.”

  I tilt my head as I ask, “Why not?”

  He pauses. Our eyes meet, and I see so much more than a rock star, a father, and a cook. I see a man who hides a lot from the public. I see a man who has a private persona that he keeps guarded closely.

  But why does he hide?

  “She’s all ready for bed, but she wants a bedtime story,” Linda says as she enters the kitchen.

  Adam turns away, not answering my question. “I’ll be right up.”

  “Actually, she wants Miss Russo to read to her.” She glances my direction. “If that’s okay with you.”

  I jump at the chance. “I’d love to.”

  As I climb the stairs, I look down the long hallway, wondering what else is up here. An open door on the left catches my attention. My chest tightens at the thought of Adam’s bed only a few feet away from me, and I have to stop myself from exploring more.

  Instead, I step into her room to see the pink sheer net she explained hanging from the ceiling. White dressers line the right side, and straight back, I see the window she loves.

  “Come sit next to me.” Cailin holds up a book.

  I curl up alongside her. “What do we have here?” I ask.

  “It’s my favorite book, I Knew You Could. My daddy reads it to me a lot, but I want to see what it sounds like with your voice.”

  I glance down at her. “You think it will sound different?”

  “I know it will. It’s just like a song. If someone else sings the lyrics, it sounds totally different.”

  I laugh more to myself than to her. This little girl is wise beyond her years.

  I read the book all about the trials and tribulations of life and how, through it all, they knew the little train could do it. With every page, I love the book more and more, which I surprisingly have never read.

  The book is so motivating, so uplifting, and by the end, I have to inhale to stop my quivering lip as I read because I’m so moved by it.

  As I close the book, I turn back to the cover to make a mental note of the author and title. I flip the page to the front to see when it first came out, and that’s when I notice a handwritten dedication I didn’t see before.

  Adam,

  I knew you could do it! I’ve never been so proud in all my life.

  Love,

  Linda

  I run my fingers over the handwritten note.

  “Linda got this for my daddy years ago,” Cailin says.

  I see the book came out in 2003. I think I was around fourteen years old in 2003, and I thought Adam was around my age. This seems like an odd book to give a fourteen-year-old boy.

  “And he’s kept it all this time?” I ask as I close the pages.

  “Yeah, he said it was the first gift he ever got. You didn’t sound that different from when he reads it though.” She shrugs like she’s surprised.

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “Linda has read it to me a hundred times, but only my dad’s voice cracks as he reads the end, and yours did, too.”

  The smile that graces my face is nothing like the one forming in my heart. “Must be an age thing. He’s around my age, right?”

  “Ohhh, don’t tell Linda she’s getting old. Wayne says she’s sensitive about that.”

  A sharp laugh escapes my lips. “I didn’t mean it like that. Here, let’s get you tucked in.”

  I stand and pull the covers up around her. “Good night, Cailin.”

  Adam enters the room. “Good night, Sugarplum.”

  She raises her arms up high, waiting for Adam to lean down so she can wrap her arms around his neck. “Night, Chestnut.”

  “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything, but how about you try to sleep in your own bed tonight, okay?” Adam says.

  I step toward the door, giving them their moment, until Cailin yells out, “I really liked having you here tonight, Miss Russo. Can you come over
again soon?”

  Adam answers for me, “I’m sure we can set up another time for her to come over again.”

  I grin and nod, not able to get any words out as we both exit her room.

  13

  Sarah

  I walk down the stairs, hyperaware of Adam directly behind me. Linda and Wayne left, so I head toward my purse in the kitchen.

  “Thank you for inviting me tonight. I had a great time,” I say as I pick it up.

  He places his arm on my elbow, and I’m instantly warmed by his touch.

  “I thought you might stay awhile.” He shrugs. “Hang out a little. We can sit out on the back deck.”

  I inhale a quick breath, letting my mind enjoy the thought. “Sure, I can do that.”

  His smile makes my body warm, and the slight tug it causes on my lips feels pretty good from it.

  “Do you drink coffee or tea?”

  “Coffee, please,” I respond.

  He pulls out the coffee. “So, tell me how you got into teaching,” he says.

  I place my fingers under the counter and pull the front of my body into it. For a quick second, I want to tell him the truth but decide against it. I don’t want him to think I’m a freak stalker person who wants to use him to get back into the music scene. My time has sailed. Instead, I go with what everyone else in this town thinks they know.

  “My mom was a kindergarten teacher. I moved to New York for college, thinking I wanted more, but ended up right back here, following in her footsteps, at the same school even.”

  “That’s cool you had her to guide you. What did you originally want to do?”

  I fidget with my sweater. I wanted to be you. I wanted to help people through music. I wanted to hear fans screaming out my lyrics while they danced with joy.

  I try to hide the sadness ripping through me that I haven’t felt this strongly in years. “Oh, you know, I was a small-town girl living it up in the big city. Things didn’t work out.”

  He starts the coffeemaker and leans back against the counter, crossing his arms. “Why not?”

  The way he asks so nonchalantly makes me want to laugh. It’s such a loaded question that I still don’t understand. I’ve asked myself why more times than I can remember. My father was quick to point out why, but I don’t want to believe him. When I’m really down on myself though, I can’t see any other reason.

  “It wasn’t in the cards, let’s just say.” I inhale, ready to change the subject back to him. “What about you? Did you always want to be a singer?”

  His eyes narrow slightly as he places his hands behind him. He’s reading me like a book, and I get the feeling he knows something’s about to be unveiled.

  He purses his lips together with a slight shrug. “I guess it was in the cards.”

  His short, pointed comment hangs in the air. I want to ask him so much more, but how can I when I am being so elusive myself? We stare at each other, almost in a dare to share what the other is truly hiding, until the coffee dings, and he grabs a cup, pouring us each some of the dark liquid.

  “Shall we head outside?” He motions for me to go in front of him, completely dropping the subject.

  I pick up my cup and slide the glass door open, feeling the slight breeze rush across my skin.

  I head toward the swing, and to my surprise, Adam sits on it as well. His legs are long enough to touch the ground, but mine hang freely, so I tuck them up under me and face him more.

  His jaw is lined in dark stubble, and with the one light shining brightly by the door, his features are more on display than I’ve ever seen before. His nose to his cheekbones and even his lips are so defined. Almost perfect.

  He drops his head on the back of the swing, and his Adam’s apple protrudes, casting a shadow. Barely turning his head, he lets out a deep breath.

  “I bought the house because of this swing,” he says before turning his gaze up at the stars that peek through the overhang.

  “Couldn’t you have added a swing to your last place?”

  He shakes his head. “This is the first place I’ve bought. I’ve been living out of hotels and high-rise apartments until now. It was easier to hide Cailin that way. We knew the secret would come out with her enrolling in school, so I decided to finally get a place and settle down.”

  “I’m impressed you were able to keep her a secret for that long.”

  His head turns toward me again, but he keeps it resting down on the bench. It’s not in an exhausted way or lazy way. He just looks content, and it’s helping me to feel the same way.

  “I’d do anything for that little girl,” he says almost breathlessly.

  “I can tell.” I take a sip of my coffee, and he sits up to do the same.

  I have so many questions I want to ask but know I shouldn’t—at least, not yet. Linda’s words of getting to know him as Adam and nothing else ring through my head. But every question I can think of comes back to his career.

  He licks his lips before taking another sip, and my mind goes right in the gutter, not helping my current predicament.

  “So, you grew up here?” he asks, thankfully, taking me out of my lust-filled thoughts.

  I take a sip and nod. “Yep. Born and raised. Swore I’d leave and never come back, yet here I am.” I hold out my arm to my side with a sigh.

  “Doesn’t seem to be a bad place. Linda likes it here.”

  “I’m surprised I don’t know her better, she’s lived here for a while though, right?”

  He nods, keeping quiet for a few seconds before saying, “As long as I’ve known her.”

  “Did you grow up around here?” I ask, hoping I’m not digging too far.

  He sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “A few towns over.” He’s quick to change the subject. “So, tell me more about Cailin. Do all kids read as good as she does?”

  “She’s one of my top students. Except for her little singing habit.” I playfully eye him.

  He lets out a throaty laugh, hitting me deeply into my soul. “What can I say?” He grins from ear to ear like the proud father he is.

  “It’s pretty cute how you guys make up lyrics together.”

  He perks up, excited to share his story. “It was hard, connecting with a little girl, you know? I didn’t know much about kids, and even with the help of nannies, I wanted to be as hands-on as possible. I did not do dolls”—his eyes lower, making me laugh—“and we could only be together inside, so music was my go-to.”

  “Music is a great way to connect with anyone.”

  He tilts his head and tries to hide the tug on his lips. “You mean, you like more than just religious songs?”

  I teasingly slap his shoulder. “Yes. Just because I sang Jesus Loves Me with your daughter doesn’t mean that’s all I know. I enjoy church, but it’s not my entire life.”

  “What is?”

  I eye him, not sure what he means.

  “What’s the best part of your life?” he asks.

  I glance over my shoulder at the playground he installed for Cailin and then back at him. “Not sure yet.”

  His hand reaches out to touch mine. “I think you found it already.”

  My heart pounds at the way his fingers rub across my skin.

  “Do I make you nervous?” he asks.

  I shake my head, my eyes wide open, staring at where our bodies are together, even in this little way.

  “Then, why aren’t you breathing?” He smirks, and I laugh, breathing out.

  “Okay, maybe a little.” I slowly raise my eyes to meet his.

  “Here, let’s start this over.” He sits up straight and holds out his hand to me. “I’m Adam. I hear my daughter, Cailin, is in your class.”

  I can’t help the nervous giggle escaping me as I shake his hand. He doesn’t let go and drops it between us.

  “See? All is good now.”

  “Except you’re still holding my hand.”

  He slightly raises his eyebrows. “That I am. Good observation, Sid.”

&n
bsp; “Oh my God, did you just quote a kids cartoon to me?”

  “Sid the Science Kid is our favorite show.” He turns his large frame, so he’s facing me, his knee bent to one side. “I don’t get to know many people. I invited you here for more reasons than to just thank you for giving Cailin rides to school. She speaks very highly of you. Linda does, too. I wanted to see what they saw.”

  I swallow hard. “And?” I say barely above a whisper.

  “And I see what they see. But I see more. I wanted to see if I felt more, too.”

  My heart stops, and when my phone rings from inside the door, I jump to my feet to get it. After I realize how silly my reaction was, I turn back to him to apologize, but he’s chuckling to himself.

  “It’s okay. Get the phone.”

  I step inside to see it’s Maggie calling. I swipe it on. “I’m still here. Can’t talk, but I’ll call you back.”

  “You’re still there?” Her voice is loud and clear. “It’s what, past nine?”

  “Yes,” I speak quietly into the phone.

  “Why are you whispering all of a sudden?” she mimics my tone.

  “Because Cailin is asleep upstairs, and I don’t want to wake her.”

  “Wait.” She pauses, and I can only imagine her holding up her hand out in front of her. “You’re there after he put her to bed?”

  “Yes. We’re sitting outside, talking. You interrupted us.”

  “I hate you, you know that, right?”

  I laugh through my breath. “Yes. Now, good-bye.”

  I hang up and turn to see him standing behind me.

  He takes my hand in his. “I’m sorry if I was too forward before. I’d like to get to know you better. If that’s okay with you.”

  I tightly close my lips, trying to hold in my emotion, and nod. “I’d like that.”

  He lowers his head to catch my eyes better. “I’m just Adam Tyler. Nothing else. Especially when we’re here.” His eyebrows rise slightly. “Do you think you can see me that way?”

  I stand up taller, exhaling before letting it all out. “I’m sorry. It’s just … there’s a lot going on in my head, and I’ve been following you for years. It’s just weird how I’m here all of a sudden.”