Our Song

by Runow, Lauren

  I watch as the white in her eyes gets bigger and bigger. “What?” she says in disbelief.

  “Are you serious?” Cailin jumps off the stool and runs to me.

  I pick her up and swing her around too.

  “Yes, I’m serious. Whoever doesn’t know us now will by the time December comes around.”

  Sarah turns back to the stove and is unusually quiet.

  I put Cailin down and walk up behind her, placing my hands around her waist and my head on her shoulder. “You’re excited, aren’t you?”

  She inhales and nods her head while she stirs the onions.

  “How come I don’t believe you?”

  Her shoulders sag when she realizes I’m not buying the front she’s putting on.

  She sighs and steps away from me to the refrigerator. “At least now, I don’t have to worry about not being with my family on Thanksgiving.”

  Her words are a knife to my gut. I didn’t think about the upcoming holiday. I’ve always either been on the road or at Linda’s house. Thanksgiving wasn’t exactly a tradition for me until Linda, so I’ve never thought twice about the holiday. Hearing she is worried about her family does something I don’t like to my stomach.

  She hasn’t spoken about her father since their fight. I know her mom took over her class, so I guess I just figured everything had smoothed over. With how busy we’ve been, I feel bad for not checking with her sooner.

  I know she cares for her family, and I don’t want to be the reason they’re not talking. “I told you I’d make it right. And I’ll keep my promise.”

  When her eyes meet mine, I see the trepidation. A quick nod is all I get as she heads to the counter.

  * * *

  Once all the plans are finalized for our performance, I set Sarah up with a spa day to help her relax and get pampered. I told her I was going shopping. It’s the truth, but while I’m out, I’m also going to talk to her father.

  Her mom and sister are already set to join us for the concert, and all I’ve been told is that her father isn’t going to come.

  This is definitely a situation I never thought I’d have to deal with, but here I go, heading to talk to the father of the girl I love and ready to fight for what’s right.

  I open the door of the church office to see an older lady with a pink sweater pulled over her shoulders, typing away at a computer.

  I don’t miss the way the woman’s eyes widen as she looks me up and down. “May I help you?” she asks.

  “I’m here to see Pastor Russo,” I say, standing tall.

  “Is he expecting you?”

  “I’m sure in some way he is but not at this moment, no.”

  She stands. “Let me see if he’s available.”

  A few minutes later, a tall man with graying hair and a small gut steps out of the back room. He removes his glasses to glare at me. With pursed lips, he stares without saying a word.

  I step forward with my hand outstretched in greeting. “Mr. Russo. It’s nice to meet you. I’m—”

  “I know exactly who you are. What I don’t know is why you’re here.”

  I pull my hand back to my side and square my shoulders. “Sir, I’d like to have a few words with you.”

  “I don’t believe I have anything to say to you.”

  “Please, I’m coming to you as a father myself. My daughter, Cailin, performed for your church with Sarah a few months ago. I’m only asking for a minute of your time.”

  He reluctantly steps back, allowing me to enter.

  I nod my head. “Thank you.”

  He sits down at the large desk, and I take a spot on the opposite side. Family pictures of Sarah and her sister cover the dark wood from when they were little up until more current ones.

  I smile at the little girl Sarah once was. I can only hope that, one day, Cailin turns out to be as amazing as Sarah is.

  I look Pastor Russo directly in the eye. “I know you don’t approve of me in Sarah’s life, and I’m here to try to mend that relationship. I can only imagine how hard it is to raise a little girl and one day watch her leave to create a life of her own. I know you only want what’s best for her. I do too.”

  “And you think you’re what’s best for her?” He eyes me up and down, disgust written all over his face.

  I hold my head high. “It’s not about what I look like on the outside. These tattoos are how I express myself. Every single one has meaning. What should matter is what’s in here”—I place my hand on my heart—“on the inside. I know what love is. The day my daughter was born, it smacked me across the face. I wasn’t lucky enough to have a father who cared for me like you do for Sarah. I want to stand by you, not in front of you. Sarah deserves the best life she can lead. Music is what she wants. Music is what’s healed her.”

  He stands up, his chair falling to the floor with the force of his movement. “Your kind of people and music are what almost killed her. You have no clue what we had to do to help with her recovery after the accident.” His eyes widen as he clenches his teeth. “I never got my daughter back.”

  He inhales, taking a moment for what he said to sink in. Any hurt he just felt is removed, and anger sits firmly in its place. “Then, I found out she had been selling herself to the devil the entire time, performing in strip clubs and horrible bars. She was lying to us and would go weeks with only one meal a day. All of her money that I had been sending her was paying for the one thing that almost took her life.”

  He glances down, shaking his head. When he looks back up at me, his face is stern. “God has shown his path for her. He forgave her sins and gave her another chance.”

  “That is what you do when you’re passionate about something. You should be proud your daughter has that kind of drive that she’s willing to sacrifice for what she wants. If you can honestly say God has shown his path, then why am I here right now? Why did he bring Cailin into my life? Why did he bring Linda into my life, who gave me music and told me to enroll Cailin in your daughter’s class?”

  His body language relaxes, and I know he’s hearing my words.

  “I see the looks I get all over town, the way I’m not welcome here, but you know what? This is where I want to raise my daughter because of how highly Linda speaks of this town as a great place to raise a family. I’m willing to put my own feelings aside, so Cailin can have friends and someone who loves her like a grandma would, even though they share no blood relation. I don’t want her to grow up in a big city. I want her to be able to ride her bike and go to the park where other families are as well.”

  He steps back slightly. Even though he’s been against me this entire time, I’m thankful he’s listening to what I’m actually saying.

  “I’m not going to lie to you, sir. I’m not a religious man. I’ve never had someone show me the way of the Bible or what it feels like to believe in something higher than me. But if you think her injury was God punishing her, then please explain to me why he would bring me into her life. If you believe one, then you have to believe the other.”

  I pause, seeing if he has a response. When he doesn’t, I hold my ground and never break my eye contact with him, giving him a second to let everything I said sink in.

  “I’m in love with your daughter. I just want what’s best for her. We’re performing on Thanksgiving at the iHeartRadio benefit in San Francisco.” I place a ticket to the event as well as our demo tape on the table. “As a father myself, there is nothing that would stop me from seeing my daughter shine the way Sarah does. Put everything you think of me and my type of music aside and listen for yourself. Your daughter has talent that no one can deny. I know it’d mean the world to her to have you there. But it’s your choice.”

  I step back, waiting for a brief moment before saying, “Thank you for your time,” and then I turn around to leave.

  I said everything I had to say. If he comes to support his daughter or not is up to him.

  36

  Sarah

  “Breathe,” Maggie says,
placing her hands on either side of my head.

  I might or might not be freaking out just a little. I made a huge mistake by looking out to the crowd. And that’s not including the millions of people watching at home.

  We’ve never performed the song live. Of course, we practiced, and we did a trial run onstage earlier today, but now that the time is here, my stomach is flipped so far upside down, you’d think it’s riding the most insane roller coaster known to man.

  I’m so glad Maggie was able to be here. My sister, mother, and Linda are in the seats. I love that they’re here as well, supporting my dreams.

  The only person missing is my father. I try to pretend that it doesn’t matter, but every time I think about it, sadness washes over me. I just want to know what it feels like to truly have his support, something I’ve never had from him.

  That’s definitely not the case with Maggie. She’s been there since day one, helping me find the guys in New York and giving me feedback on lyrics. I couldn’t have done it without her.

  Adam surprised me by flying her out for the show. I was beyond shocked when she showed up at Adam’s front door a few days ago. He amazes me at every turn, and with every day, I fall for him more and more.

  I look into her eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m okay. It’s okay,” I say more to myself than to her.

  She laughs and engulfs me in a hug. “Just keep saying that, and it will be.”

  Adam walks up to us. “Are we ready to show the world who’s on top?”

  Maggie laughs and hands me over to Adam, who allows me to curl into his arms.

  “Don’t be nervous.” He rubs his hand down my hair before pushing me back to talk to me face-to-face. “There’s nothing to worry about. You are one of the most phenomenal singers I’ve ever heard. I have absolute faith that you’ll do wonderful. I wouldn’t let this happen otherwise.”

  I inhale and nod. He pulls me in and kisses me with so much intensity that I forget who I am and where we are.

  “I’d fuck you against the wall right now if I knew it wouldn’t freak everyone in here out,” he whispers in my ear while holding me close to him.

  I laugh out loud. I know he said it so crudely because of where we actually are. The event is being held at the San Francisco Armory. The building was built for military purposes in 1912, but for the last fifteen years it was owned by Kink.com and was used as a pornography and BDSM lounge.

  The new owners have turned it into a concert venue, but the upstairs rooms are still set up for the BDSM sets. The red velvet walls along with antique furniture and hooks on the ceilings are definitely a sight to see.

  Adam smirks. “That’s the laugh I was going for. Keep that feeling because we’re on.” He winks and grabs my hand, pulling me up to the curtain we’re about to walk through.

  I hear Maggie scream, and when I turn to her, she’s jumping up and down, blowing me good-luck kisses.

  I blow a kiss back before taking a deep breath. Ready to give it my all.

  We take our place onstage while they announce us from the main stage to the right.

  Adam squeezes my hand one more time, whispering, “I love you,” before placing his hands on the piano and starting the first notes.

  Screams erupt when the lights above us shine brightly, and I grab the microphone from the stand in front of me.

  When Adam sings his first note, the crowd goes wild. It’s so overwhelming as I watch the love of my life sing with such passion. His eyes are closed as the words flow from his lips and his hands glide over the keys.

  When it’s my turn, his eyes meet mine, and the smile and small tilt to his head are all I need to encourage me to dive in with both feet first.

  The spotlight hits me, and I bring the microphone up to my lips and go for it. Singing the lyrics with everything I have.

  The applause lifts me up, washing away every ounce of nerves I had and filling me with so much life that I feel like I can float away.

  I glance out to the crowd, seeing people clapping, singing, and swaying to the love story we’re telling. It’s by far the most unbelievable, emotional, and uplifting moment of my life.

  I never thought I’d be here again, yet I’m standing on the biggest stage of my life with the most wonderful man and singer I’ve ever known. My life is absolutely complete.

  Before I know it, our moment is over, and I drop the microphone to my side, in absolute disbelief of what we just did. Adam picks me up, bringing his lips to mine as the crowd claps louder than I’ve ever heard.

  They let us stand there for a few moments, letting the crowd show their love, before the lights are cut, and the show goes to commercial.

  When we exit the stage, Maggie runs to us. “Oh my God!” she screams with her arms wide open to engulf both of us. “You guys fucking killed it!”

  “She did, didn’t she?” Adam says, kissing my forehead. “I’m so proud of you.”

  My cheeks hurt from smiling. I want to take this entire moment in and never forget this feeling.

  We make our way down the hall to the green room, so I can grab my things before we go back out to the seats to join my sister and mom as well as Linda and Cailin.

  Every person we pass gives us praise about how well we did and how much they enjoyed the performance. The high I’m experiencing is above anything in my entire life.

  But everything stops when we turn the corner, and my father is standing at the door to our makeshift dressing room. I pause, not sure how or why he’s here.

  Adam leans down to kiss my forehead, encouraging me to move forward.

  I glance in his direction, whispering, “How?”

  He grins to my father and then back to me. “I told you I’d try to make it right.”

  Maggie rubs my shoulder, and I lean up to softly kiss Adam before slowly making my way to my father. The little girl in me who was always searching for his approval wants to jump into his arms and celebrate my success, but the scorned adult knows better.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  His lips tug to a slight smile, and I can tell he’s just as nervous as I am.

  “How did you get back here?” I ask when he stays silent.

  His eyes lift to Adam and Maggie and then back to me. “Adam came to see me. He had some pretty powerful thoughts to share.”

  I turn and smile at Adam, who’s keeping his distance. I reach my hand out, wanting him by my side.

  “It’s good to have you back, Sarah,” Dad says to my surprise. “I was blind to how much of you we had lost in New York. But, right now, with him, on that stage, I see it now. My little girl who I thought was gone forever.”

  His eyes tear up, and he quickly blinks them away as I rush into his arms.

  “Oh, Daddy,” I say, letting the tears fall freely. “You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

  I pull back from him, keeping one hand wrapped around his waist as I wipe my eyes.

  “You were amazing tonight.” He holds his hand out to Adam. “I can’t thank you enough for coming to talk to me and opening my eyes. You’re right. She’s pretty talented.”

  He glances down to me, and I curl up into his arms even more.

  “I’m glad you were able to make it.” Adam and my dad shake hands.

  And I was lying before. Now, my life is complete.

  * * *

  The rest of the concert is a blur from the happiness, shock, and astonishment of where my life has come.

  I hear the other singers and watch as lights flash across the screen, but I don’t take any of it in. I’m in my own world, high above the clouds, with Adam by my side.

  My sister keeps laughing when she sees me bouncing in my chair. She leans over and whispers, “Some things never change with you, do they?”

  I cover my mouth before I burst out laughing from the memories of us having to sit still in church and me feeling like I was going to bust at the seams.

  As the host closes the show, everyone claps, and I jump
out of my seat, feeling like I’m ready to run a marathon.

  Cailin dances around our group as we make our way out of the venue. Cameras flash from every direction while people yell to get our attention. Adam approaches a younger boy reaching out an album to have him sign it.

  The boy’s eyes grow wide as he stares up at Adam in awe. “Thank you so much,” he says in disbelief. The boy’s dad takes a photo of the two of them.

  I hold Cailin close to me so she doesn’t get lost in the shuffle of people screaming to get their idols’ attention or news cameras wanting their next interview.

  “Sarah, Sarah, over here,” I hear someone yell from behind me.

  I turn around to see a news camera pointed directly at me with a woman holding out a microphone. Adam grabs my hand, putting his other on Cailin, and walks us toward the two of them.

  “Adam, Sarah, you guys were unreal in there. When will the entire album release?”

  Adam stands with ease, talking to the woman without a care in the world. “We hope in the next few months.”

  “Will every song be a duet?”

  “We’ll have a mixture of both of us. Some solos, some duets.”

  “Sarah, when will your solo release?”

  When I glance to Adam, his smile takes away all the nerves of giving my first on-the-spot camera interview.

  “It’s next in line. I’m excited for you all to hear it,” I respond.

  “Okay, move the line along,” the security guard says.

  Adam starts to pull me away, and I turn to wave to the woman.

  “Thank you for the interview,” she yells out.

  Maggie grips my arm, her smile saying it all.

  This is really happening.

  When our limo pulls up, my poor sister has a hard time sliding across the seat with her pregnant belly, but once she’s in, her face lights up. The opulence is not lost on her or my parents.

  This is what I’ve always dreamed of. I wanted to be the person to give them this. To show them what I could do and treat them to a lavish lifestyle.