Vampire Soul Box Set (Vampire Romantic Comedy)

by Mac Flynn

  No such luck. The rings kept coming and the call went unanswered. I shut off my phone and glared at the screen. There had to be some way to get his attention. Something that he'd know was me.

  "What a time to not know Morse code. . ." I mumbled. My eyes lit up. "Morse code!"

  "Ah don't hear any scrubbing!" Ralph shouted from the kitchen.

  I scowled at the swinging doors and furiously swiped away at the counter. Salt and pepper shakers felt my wrath as they were flung to the far ends of the counter.

  "Not that hard!" Ralph snapped. "Ah want this place to be in one piece!"

  I grinned and walked around the counter to the far end of the diner away from the kitchen. This was going to take some concentration, and a little bit of time. I only hoped I wouldn't have to do it more than once. I took a deep breath and called my home phone, but in a specific pattern. After each single or pair of rings I hung up, paused, and started the next bit tot he tune.

  Ring.

  Ring.

  Ring ring.

  Ring.

  Ring ring.

  Ring ring.

  Ring ring.

  I called against, but kept the phone ringing this time.

  Someone answered it. "Why have you decided to grace me with that annoying tune?" came Roland's voice.

  I sighed in relief. "Thank god or whatever deity won't cause you to combust. I thought I'd have to play that tune until it drove me nuts," I commented.

  "What has forced you to risk that to call me?" he wondered.

  My eyes flickered to the kitchen and I cupped my hand over the receiver. "Not a what-okay, maybe it is a what. I fell asleep behind the counter and had this crazy dream about zombies and this little girl. Turns out it was Rose. She somehow got into my dream and tired to get me to give her permission to enter something. I'm not sure what. What I am sure about is she tried the same thing this afternoon, but you woke me up."

  "This is very serious. What awoke you this time?" he asked me.

  "Ralph, so the awakening was a little ruder," I told him. "I tried to wake myself up in the dream, but I couldn't. Rose said only she could."

  "Then it appears she's the one who cast this curse on you," he guessed.

  "I guess, but when could she do it?" I wondered.

  "The sudden gust in the park office. She must have opened the window so you inhaled the spell dust she planted for you," he explained.

  "That sounds really complicated just for me to invite her inside my dream places," I commented.

  "But your invitation would extend beyond the dreamland. You would give her access to your apartment," he revealed.

  I cringed. "Couldn't I just revoke it?"

  "Only within her hearing, and she could easily plug her ears to avoid your revocation," he pointed out.

  I sighed and pinched my plugged nose. "Wonderful. An invite where the guest decides when they can leave. Do you know a way to stop these nightmares?"

  "I may, but you need to come home," he replied. "How soon can you return?"

  "I get off-" I covered my mouth to stifle a yawn, "-I get off in a few hours."

  "Can you stay awake that long?" he asked me.

  "I could try drinking a whole pot of Ralph's coffee, but the cure might be worse than the disease," I quipped.

  "Then I'm coming to you," he insisted.

  "Oh no. Not that! You just stay-" Click. "Put. . ." I pulled the phone away and glared at it. Hopefully Roland got that message that I wasn't happy about his decision.

  CHAPTER 7

  I plopped down in the nearest booth and waited for the toll of the bell above the door. A few minutes later there came my cue to turn and glare at Roland as he walked through the doorway.

  He slid into the seat on the opposite side of the table and set the box between us. "You must take some of my blood."

  I blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

  "You must take some of my blood so I can enter your dreams and see how to rid you of the curse," he explained.

  I held up my hands. "Wait a sec. You want me to take a sip of your vampire blood so you can get inside my head to stop another vampire's curse on me?"

  "Exactly," he concurred.

  "Um, no. I don't need a vampire-inception of trouble knocking around in my brain," I refused.

  "I can see no-"

  "What the hell are ya doing?" Ralph growled from the swinging doors.

  I slid off the seat and pulled out my pencil and pad. "He insisted on me sitting with him," I told my boss.

  Ralph turned his glare on Roland. "That true?"

  Roland stood. "I prefer to speak with people at their level."

  Ralph's eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. "Ah don't care what ya prefer, but don't go taking up all the girl's time. Get through with yer ordering and git out."

  "I haven't decided on my order," Roland argued.

  "The chili's good today," I spoke up. That was code for it wouldn't be killing anyone that day, but maybe tomorrow.

  "I'll have a bowl of the chili," Roland agreed.

  Ralph turned and shuffled back into the kitchen. "Damn kids these days and their weirdness. . ." he grumbled.

  I moved over to the counter and turned my back to the rest of the diner, but Roland followed me. He took a seat on a stool and set the box to his left.

  "I'm not taking any of your blood," I hissed under my breath.

  "If Rose has some hold over you then your life, even your soul, is in danger," Roland insisted.

  I spun around and slammed my hands on the counter. Roland jumped back, and even his box did a little hop. "Listen. I'm going to stay human even if it kills me," I growled.

  Roland's face darkened. "If you remain as you are then that will be the outcome."

  "Here's yer bowl," Ralph spoke up as he strode through the swinging doors. He slid the bowl in front of Roland, and his narrowed eyes glanced between us. "Now eat up and git out." He stalked off to the bowels of the kitchen while the chili in front of Roland threatened the bowels of everything else.

  Roland and I both glanced at the bowl. It gurgled, and a bubble of air expanded and popped. Roland picked up a spoon, but I caught his hand and shook his head.

  "Don't. I don't know if you can handle real food, but don't try this stuff," I warned him.

  Roland put down his spoon and grasped my hand that was over his. He looked me in the eyes, and I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

  "You must trust me when I say I would never betray a blood bond," he whispered. "Not between us. Your life is important to me."

  I shook my head and pulled my hand out of his. "I know, I know. It's because I'm the box keeper."

  "No." I started back at his single firm reply. He leaned across the counter and caught my gaze. "It's because I don't wish for anything to happen to you."

  We both started when the soul box beside us hopped on the counter. I stumbled back and Roland leaned back on his stool.

  I pointed at the still box, but looked to Roland. "Um, is it supposed to do that?" I asked him.

  He blinked his wide eyes and shook his head. "I'm not really sure. It hasn't shown any reaction thus far except to protect itself from you."

  My face dropped. "It got its revenge on my rug," I reminded him.

  Roland reached out for the box, but a strange bluish glow appeared under the lid. The glow brightened and flashed across the diner. Roland flew across the counter and wrapped his arms around me.

  I sailed back and expected to land hard against the rear counter. Instead I fell completely on my back on a soft tuft of grass. Roland fell on top of me and I wheezed at his weight. For a dead guy he wasn't all that light.

  "You gotta stop drinking so many pints," I scolded him.

  Roland sat up and looked around. I followed his gaze and my eyes widened as I beheld the park dream from earlier that night. The grass, the trees, even the pond with the paddle boat was the same as before. The only difference was the little girl in a blood-red dress who stood on the peak of the hill
just before the grass dipped down to the dock.

  Roland's eyes narrowed. "Rose. . ." I heard him whisper.

  Rose smiled and clasped her hands behind her back. "Hello, Roland. I must admit I didn't expect to see you here so soon. Your blood bond with this human must be strong, or-" her eyes flitted between us, "-is there something else bringing you together here? Maybe a soul, perhaps?"

  Roland stood and pulled me to my feet. "Whatever quarrel you have with me has nothing to do with Misty."

  Rose laughed. "It has everything to do with her, and you made sure it worked that way. No vampire can enter her apartment without her permission. What's a vampire to do but try to persuade her to open her home to one more vampire?"

  "For you, I'll make an exception and pull up the welcoming mat," I quipped.

  Rose frowned and she snapped her fingers. The ground rumbled and rolls of grass shot up from beneath Roland. They knocked me away from him and swung over him to create a birdcage. Roland gripped the vine-grass in his hands and pulled. They were as solid as Ralph's pancakes after an hour off the griddle.

  I landed with a thud on the ground ten yards away, but I climbed to my feet and raced over to Roland.

  "He's my toy now," Rose spoke up.

  She flung up her hand and a tough wind flew into me. I flew back and landed with another hard thud on the grass. My butt was getting tired of these instant replays, and so was I. I stood and glared at her.

  "What the hell's your problem?" I asked her.

  Rose glared at me. "You are my problem, but not for long." She raised her hand.

  Roland looked from Rose to me. He tried the bars again, but they were as unmoving as the tax man.

  "Misty, this is your-mhmh!" Roland's shout was interrupted when a metal plate slapped across his lips. He clawed at the plate, but it stuck like gum on the bottom of a shoe.

  Rose wagged her finger at him. "None of that now. This is between two ladies."

  I snorted. "Then where's my opponent?"

  Rose's eyes narrowed and she raised her arm. "I'm done with you. Now die in your own dream." She flung her arm out and I saw the razor-sharp wind cut across the grass faster than a power lawn mower with a rocket engine. I raised my arms to cover myself just as-

  I jerked back and blinked. Gone was the nightmarish dream land, and in its place was the nightmarish land of my place of work. The diner was just as I remembered it before the bright light. The box sat close beside me with a slight glow beneath its lid. Roland sat on the stool in front of me with the untouched steaming bowl of chili.

  Except something was wrong with Roland. He stared straight ahead without blinking. Not an uncommon occurrence, but he didn't make any move to speak or look at me as I leaned closer to him.

  "Roland?" No response. I waved my hand and snapped my fingers in his face. "Hello? Misty to Roland. Anybody home?" All I got for my trouble was a blank look. I frowned, grabbed his shoulders, and gave him a good shake. "Roland? Roland, snap out of it!"

  He wobbled back and forth, but when I stopped he sat as straight as before I'd harassed him. I stepped back and looked between him and the box. My eyes widened as I understood the implication. He was still stuck in Rose's play world. But then, how did I get out?

  I jumped when I heard a loud bang from the front doors. A shadow stood on the other side and slammed their fists against the glass of the double-doors.

  "Let me in!" shrieked the figure.

  "Ralph?" I called.

  "Who do ya think it is? Now let me in!" he demanded.

  I furrowed my brow and leaned to my left so I could see the entrance. Ralph stood on the other side and glared at me. Ralph pounded his fist against the door.

  "What're ya waiting for? Get over here and let me in!" he insisted.

  I walked around the counter towards the doors. My eyes flickered to the stiff Roland as I passed him, but I kept on going to Ralph.

  "About time! What the hell are you two doing in there?" he growled.

  "What are you doing out there?" I returned. Ralph frowned and looked away. He grumbled something I couldn't catch. "What was that?" I asked him.

  "Ah said Ah got myself locked out!" he growled. "Now let me back in and tell yer boyfriend to eat his soup and get out!"

  I looked over the doors. They were locked with a flip bolt. I glanced over my shoulder at Roland. He was still performing his rendition of a mime locked in statue-state. I pursed my lips and turned to Ralph.

  "I can't let you back in," I told him.

  Ralph's eyes widened. "Why the hell not?" he squeaked.

  "Because I have to figure something out," I replied. I turned away and hurried back to Roland and the box.

  "Get back here and let me in!" Ralph shouted.

  I picked up the box and turned it over in my hands. The glow stayed the same. I shook the box, but nothing happened.

  "Come on, let me back in," I whispered. There was no bright light, no entrance into my dream world. I looked up and around at the diner. "There's got to be a way back in. . ." I murmured to myself.

  "Let me in!" Ralph ordered me. "Let me in, or so help me Ah'll knock yer head when Ah do get in!"

  My eyes lit up. I dropped the box on the counter, spun around to face the front doors, and grinned at my red-faced boss.

  "Ralph, you're brilliant!" I told him.

  He started back and blinked at me. "Ah am?"

  "Yep, now if you'll excuse me I have to go hit my head," I replied. I stepped up to Roland and patted him on the shoulder. "You just wait a sec and I'll be right back in." I hoped. I didn't know if he heard me, but it made me feel better.

  Especially since what I was about to do wasn't going to make me feel better later.

  CHAPTER 8

  I raced around Roland and flew past the front doors where my boss was making promises he could keep.

  "Let me in! Ya here me? Let me in right now or you're fired!" he yelled.

  I stopped at the entrance to the men's room and turned to him. "You can fire me all you want, but I've got something I have to do first. So why don't you just stand under an eave?"

  Ralph's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. I turned away from him and hurried into the men's bathroom. The shiny floor told me the waxy soap still had murderous intent. I stepped to my right in front of the slick spot and took a deep breath. This was going to be easy, and going to end very hard.

  "You owe me big, Roland. . ." I muttered as I pressed my palms against the walls.

  I pushed off from the wall and ran onto the shiny tiles. My feet slipped and skidded. I instinctively tried to keep my balance, but my feet flew out from underneath me. I went toppling backwards and my head cracked hard against the linoleum floor. Pain shot from the back of my head to my eyeballs. I waited for the world to go black, or at least to see some stars or tweety birds.

  Nothing happened. All I got for my trouble was a headache. I sat up and rubbed my head.

  "It worked last time. . ." I mumbled.

  "Let me in!" came Ralph's muffled voice.

  My eyes widened as an idea hit me. A horrible, no-good, terrible idea. I climbed to my feet and staggered out into the main part of the diner. Roland was still on his stool, the box still glowed, and Ralph still performed his best impersonation of a banshee.

  "God damn in, let me in!" Ralph shrieked.

  I dropped my hand from my head and glared at him. My hands balled into fists. I marched over to the doors and flipped the switch that locked them.

  "Now let yourself in," I ordered him.

  He clutched one wrist in his other hand and glared at me. "Ya took too long. Ah think Ah've broken my hand because of this stupid glass. Open the doors and get me inside so Ah can call a doctor."

  I folded my arms across my chest and frowned. "Open it yourself."

  Ralph glared at me. "Didn't ya hear what Ah said? My damn wrist's broken! Now open the door!"

  "Push it open with your shoulder," I suggested.

  Ralph fumed so bad I swea
r I saw steam escape his ears. "Are ya mad? Ah told ya Ah-"

  "Shut up," I snapped.

  Ralph's eyes widened. "W-what'd ya say to me?"

  "I said shut up. I'm tired of your whining. Open the door yourself or stop all this stupid lying," I ordered him.

  Ralph's eyes narrowed and his face twisted into a hideous mask of fury. His body shrank and his clothes changed. In a second Ralph the old geezer transformed into Rose the young geezer.

  "Let me in!" she demanded.

  I snorted. "Why should I?"

  A sly smile crept onto her lips. "Because if you don't then I'll be playing with Roland for all eternity." Rose glanced at something past me.

  I looked over my shoulder and the scene changed. The diner melted away and revealed Roland still stuck in his cage of vine-grass. His hands grasped the vine bars and his mouth was shut tight with the metal plate. I remembered what he tried to tell me, and what Rose told me before I entered the fake diner. I turned to Rose and folded my arms across my chest.

  "You can't touch him," I told her.

  Rose frowned. "Of course I can touch him. This is my world."

  "No, you said it was my dream. That means my rules," I argued.

  I snapped my fingers and the vine cell melted away. Rose's face twisted with a fury that would've cracked a fun-house full of mirrors. She balled her hands into fists and stomped her foot on the ground.

  "You can't do that! This is my curse!" she insisted.

  Roland walked up to stand beside me, and he peeled off the metal plate. "But you admitted this realm was hers, so it's hers to control."

  Rose narrowed her eyes at us. "That doesn't matter so long as I can enter her dreams. You can't wipe my curse away with a thought."

  I snapped my fingers. The vine-grass flew up from the grass beneath her and surrounded her in a cage exactly like Roland's, only a little smaller. Rose's eyes widened and she grasped the bars. It was fun to watch her pull and yank at the bars.

  "Let me out of here! You can't do this!" she demanded.

  "That's what's going to happen to you every time you come into my head," I promised her. "I'm going to have that little cage ready for you the minute you step into my dream, and every time I see you in there I'll wave to you. Maybe I'll even throw you some peanuts."