Vampire Soul Box Set (Vampire Romantic Comedy)

by Mac Flynn

  The keys were in the ignition as Roland told me. I started the car and slammed on the gas. The car careened forward and I bumped down the road away from my enemies, and my best friend.

  "Damn it. . ." I muttered. I glanced at the box belted into the passenger seat. The glow faded, but didn't completely stop.

  With Roland coffined-up I was outnumbered. There was only one person who would believe my story. I only hoped he'd agree to help.

  It only took a few minutes to reach Charlie's house. Sherry's van was out front, and the owner herself stalked out of the house just as I parked. I grabbed the box and jumped out of the cab in time to overhear some of their lively conversation.

  "I told you, Sherry, I didn't order the coffin!" Charlie swore. He heard me and looked up. "Misty? What are you-"

  "Charlie, Roland's in trouble!" I yelled at him.

  So were we. A shadow flew overhead. Derdrom. I rushed to Charlie and Sherry, and spun them towards the front door.

  "Get inside!" I shouted at them.

  "What's wrong?" Charlie asked me.

  "What the hell is this? More of your bullshit spreading?" Sherry yelled at her dad.

  "Less talking, more walking!" I ordered them.

  I shoved them inside and slammed the door behind us. Charlie stumbled a few feet and turned to me.

  "Misty, what's the matter?" he persisted.

  "You know that one friendly guy with the metal coffin?" I asked him.

  "How could I forget?" he returned.

  "Well, he's not so friendly," I told him.

  Someone slammed their shoulder into the front door. Sherry jumped back and shot her dad a glare.

  "If you think this is going to get me to believe you then you're dead wrong!" she snapped.

  "That might happen if he gets inside," I quipped. I looked to Charlie. "Are any of your windows open?"

  He shook his head. "No. They're nailed-" There was a loud knock on the side of the house.

  It sounded like a fist, and the fist bumped along the side of the house to the rear. We followed the knocking with our eyes like it was a one-sided tennis match.

  "He can't get in, right?" Charlie whispered to me.

  I shook my head. "Not as long as we don't invite him."

  "Dad, knock this off!" Sherry hissed.

  "This isn't me! I swear!" he promised.

  The knocking came to the back door and stopped. We held still and held our breaths waiting for the villain to make his sudden appearance.

  Derdrom didn't disappoint. An arm shot through the ceiling and flailed over our heads. Sherry screamed and we all hit the floor.

  "I thought vampires couldn't get inside without being invited!" Charlie yelled.

  The arm shot up and Derdrom's grinning face appeared in the hole. "It's fortunate that I'm not a vampire."

  He slammed his legs through the hole and dropped into the living room. Sherry crawled to the back door while Charlie and I stumbled to our feet at the front. Derdrom glanced between Charlie and me, and grinned.

  "How kind of you to place yourselves together. I needed to have a short chat with Mr. Charlie before I left," Derdrom told us.

  I held up the glowing box. Derdrom's grin was replaced by a glare. He turned away and made a jump for Sherry.

  "No!" Charlie screamed.

  Charlie lumbered forward and tackled Derdrom. They fell to the floor in a tangle of flailing legs and punching fists. Sherry rolled out of the way before they rolled into her, and she scrambled over to the kitchen. The only thing Charlie had going for him was his momentum, and when that stopped so did his luck. Derdrom wrapped his hand around Charlie's throat and stood. Charlie hung in front of Derdom and dangled a foot off the floor.

  "Use that useful little toy of yours and your pathetic friend here dies," Derdrom growled at me.

  I didn't let the box down. "Let him go and I won't have to use it."

  Derdrom squeezed Charlie's neck. Charlie gasped and clawed at Derdrom's hands.

  "Dad!" Sherry screamed.

  "Give me the box!" Derdrom ordered.

  "Let go of my dad!" Sherry yelled.

  Sherry jumped to her feet and swung her arms in front of her. Charlie's tire iron from his chair was in her hands, or it was before she released it at just the right moment. The heavy metal slammed into the side of Derdrom's face. The non-vampire's bones crunched and he stumbled back into the rear wall. He dropped Charlie, and that was my cue to hold the box towards him.

  The spirit energy burst from the box in one clean blast and hit Derdrom in the gut. He was shoved through the wall and out into the backyard. He skipped across the yard like a thrown stone across a pond and slammed into the fence. The teetering fence had its bottom swept out from beneath it and fell forward on top of Derdrom.

  I lowered the box and breathed a sigh of relief. Sherry raced to her dad and helped him sit up.

  "Are you okay?" she asked him.

  Charlie rubbed his neck and winced. "I've been better."

  I walked up and knelt beside them. "You need us to call an ambulance?"

  Charlie nodded at the box. "I'll be fine thanks to that. How'd you-" There was a roar from the backyard and the splinters from the fence flew towards the house when Derdrom burst from the boards.

  He glared at us through his body-shaped impression in the wall. Chunks of his scabs dangled from his body and showed off not the pinkish skin of scarring regret, but a mess of hamburger that resembled my first attempt at cooking a meatball. The results weren't pretty, and neither was Derdrom.

  "I may be unable to destroy you, but your boyfriend is still mine," he growled. "Bring the box or he will be destroyed." He jumped into the air and flew off in the direction of the old house.

  I stood and glared after him. "I'm getting the impression he doesn't like us."

  Charlie choked out a laugh. "He's got a big grudge against you now. That knock must've hurt." He tried to stand, but Sherry pushed him back down.

  "Don't you dare try to move!" she scolded him.

  He smiled and patted one of her hands. "I'm all right, really, but I think Misty here's going to need some help."

  I shook my head. "I really can't ask you guys to help me. Roland and this-" I held up the box, "-are my problems."

  Sherry stood and crossed her arms over her chest while she glared at me. "My dad was nearly strangled by that maniac. I don't know what he is or who he thinks he is, but I'm not going to let him get away with doing that to anyone in my family."

  "He's a monster who can do magic levitating light with his hands," I told her.

  "I don't care if he's the devil!" she shot back.

  "That would be the guy he's working for," I added.

  Sherry started back and blinked at me. "Are you serious?"

  I gave a nod. "Unfortunately, I am. You sure you still want to do this? We could have our souls taken from us and used as lava lamps by the devil."

  Sherry pursed her lips and turned to Charlie. He smiled back at her. "Go get 'em, my little girl."

  Sherry grinned and nodded. "Sure thing, Dad." She stood and jerked her head over her shoulder towards the front door. "Let's go."

  CHAPTER 8

  "All right, but we're taking my car. It's a little faster," I told her. I glanced at Charlie. "You sure you'll be fine?"

  Charlie grimaced, but managed to stand. "I'll be fine. You just save that vampire friend of yours and give that other guy a good ass-kicking for me."

  "Can do," I promised.

  Sherry and I moved towards the door.

  "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Charlie called to us.

  "We make no promises!" I called back.

  We stepped outside and over to my jeep. That's when we found Derdrom's little surprise. The tires on the jeep were slashed clear through and were flattered than my wallet the day before payday.

  "Where do we need to go?" Sherry asked me.

  I jerked my head in the direction of the house. "That way over a lot of country roads
."

  "Then we'll take my ride," she offered.

  I glanced past her at her archaic purple van. "I don't think it'll get us there before the next ice age."

  Sherry grinned. "That isn't the ride I was talking about. Get in and I'll show you."

  We hopped into her van and Sherry drove us down the railroad street to the Depot. The place was quiet, but not dark. There was enough lights on around the warehouses to light up a football stadium and all-night coffee stand. The lights in the guardhouse were on, and I saw a man seated in the chair.

  Sherry pulled us up to the closed gate and honked her horn. The guy jumped and whipped his head left and right. Sherry leaned out her window.

  "Come on, Sean, let us in!" she yelled at him.

  Sean slammed his hand on the console in front of him and the gates opened. We drove through and over to the warehouse from earlier. Sherry parked the van near the closed garage openings and the door, and we both got out.

  "I keep my baby here because it's the safest place in town," she told me as she led me to the door.

  "Isn't that child abuse?" I asked her.

  Sherry laughed. "Not for my baby. She likes it nice and dark."

  We reached the door and Sherry pulled out a ring of keys that jingled like a bell-ringer at Christmas on two dozen too many mochas. She unlocked the door, stepped inside, and flicked a light switch. The overhead lights flickered on starting with the front row and moving to the back. Light spilled out the doorway and onto the concrete around me.

  Unfortunately, that light didn't come from the warehouse. It came from the soul box in my hands. I whipped around in time to receive a nice little love-tap on the side of my face. The force knocked me off my feet and through the doorway. I crashed into Sherry and we both crashed to the floor.

  Sherry grabbed my shoulders and helped me sit up. The box was ten yards farther into the warehouse.

  "What the hell-" She looked ahead of us and her eyes got big.

  I couldn't blame her. Standing in the doorway was Derdrom in all his hamburger glory. His grin was more like a grimace as he stepped inside the warehouse.

  "Did you believe I would wait patiently for you to regroup and return to the house more prepared than before?" Derdrom challenged me.

  Sherry helped me to my feet and I shrugged. My cheek felt like an anvil had knocked into it. "I was hoping," I told him.

  Derdrom looked past us at something. I didn't need three guesses to know that something was the soul box. "I would stay to chat, but I have other matters to attend to." He strode towards us and the box.

  My bruised cheek bone told me fighting wasn't an option, and I didn't think I could sway him with my charm. That left wit. I scanned the area and my eyes fell on the broken crate full of knobs. They were a dull gray in the harsh fluorescent light, but I hoped they were something else. I also hoped they'd work like I thought they would.

  I stepped in front of Sherry and pushed her towards the wall. "Go ahead, take it. It isn't worth it," I told him.

  Derdrom froze and his eyes narrowed as they looked at us. "How very unusual of you to agree so readily."

  "Let's just say I had a change of mind," I replied. A couple more feet to the right and I'd have another one.

  Derdrom's eyes flickered to the broken crate. His lips curled back in a snarl. "Get away from there," he ordered us.

  I grinned. "Thanks for telling me this would work."

  I jumped for the box and buried my hand into the large hole. A shadow flew over me, and I spun around and flung a bunch of the door handles into the air. They flew into Derdrom's face and body, and any bare skin was scorched. Little plumes of smoke rose up like tiny volcanoes. He screamed and flew back. I grabbed several more handfuls and pushed them into Sherry's hands.

  "Cover me!" I ordered her.

  Derdrom turned his attention to the glowing soul box. He dove down and stretched out his hands. Sherry pelted him with the tiny handles while I jumped into the race for the box. The silver handles slowed down Derdrom's speed, and I leapt forward and slid across the smooth, dusty floor. I stole home base and twisted out of reach of his outstretched hands. He turned towards me, but I held out the box. A blast of light burst from the box and hit him between the eyes.

  Derdrom flew backwards and through the open entrance. He skidded and bumped thirty yards across the ground until he slammed one hand into the thick pavement and stopped his bouncing. Derdrom got onto his hands and knees and raised his head. His look was so full of love and kindness that he would have killed me with it. Then laughed.

  I stood with the box and Sherry moved to stand next to me with her pockets filled with the handles. Derdrom floated into the sky and flew off into the night. I dropped my arms and sighed.

  "After this is over I'm taking a vacation from my vacation," I quipped.

  Sherry held one in front of her face and frowned. "So silver works against him even though he's not a vampire?"

  I shrugged. "Maybe it's a one-size-fits-all kind of weapon against evil. Anyway, where's this baby of yours? I don't want Crispy getting too much of a head-start on us."

  Sherry jerked her head towards the back of the warehouse. "She's over here."

  She led me over to a sheet and tossed off the sheet. Before us stood a shiny Harley-Davidson motorcycle complete with patented purring engine and authentic mud on the sides. Sherry stepped up to its side and patted the handle bar.

  "Isn't she a cutey?" she asked me.

  "You must be so proud," I quipped.

  "I am, not let's take this baby out and avenge her grandpa," she replied.

  "One sec." I walked over to the broken box and stuffed a dozen of the handles into my pockets.

  "Do you think those will work against the devil?" Sherry asked me.

  I shrugged. "I'm hoping they'll open a door or two, but let's go see."

  Sherry opened one of the garage doors, and I slipped in behind her on the seat with the soul box tucked tight between us. She revved the engine and we burst forward out of the stall and around the first corner. We were neck-and-neck against time, but I had a feeling running ahead of it was going to mean we were out of it.

  Sherry drove like the devil was behind us and not in front of us, and we reached the forest a short while later. She slowed down and stopped the motorcycle just within sight of the house. There wasn't any sign of Owen, but I didn't think he'd give us the red-light district treatment with telling us he was still around.

  "You want to walk from here?" she asked me.

  I smiled. "Actually, I was thinking of a noisier approach."

  She raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

  I nodded at the porch. "See that door?"

  Sherry grinned. "Yeah, and I think it's a little too small."

  "Then let's go fix that," I replied.

  "Tuck your arms close against yourself. This could be messy," she ordered me.

  Sherry revved the engine and we sped off down the dirt path. We bumped onto the porch and Sherry choked her hands close to the center of the handle bars. The motorcycle crashed through the slim doorway and into the hall. Its wheels tore into the floor boards and sent splinters on either side of us. I got a look into the living room and saw the metal coffin on the floor. Sherry pressed hard on the brakes and we skidded to a stop just short of the stairs.

  I hopped off and looked around. There was no sign of our welcoming wagon. Sherry sat on the motorcycle and looked around us.

  "Where's the big red guy?" she asked me.

  "My employer prefers not to meddle too directly in human affairs," a voice spoke up. Owen stepped from the dining room across the hall.

  I swung my arms and the box towards him. He held up his hands and smiled. "There's no need for that. You've won this night, Misty. My client was amused by your antics and tenacity, and will allow you some reprieve."

  "I'm supposed to believe you after you sent that vampire-wannabe to throw us a farewell party?" I retorted.

  Owen frowne
d. "His rash behavior in following you was not part of our plan, and I feel I must apologize for his ruining your apartment."

  "A fat check would be easier on my wallet," I told him.

  Owen bowed his head. "I'll see what I can do, but for these indiscretions we have dissolved our partnership. If he bothers you again you can be assured it is not because of any agreement between us."

  "I have your word as an honorable human?" I quipped.

  "I don't expect you to believe me, but as some compensation I will leave this very moment. That means Roland is yours," he told me.

  "And his soul?" I questioned him.

  "And his soul," he assured me.

  "Forever?" I insisted.

  Owen smiled and shook his head. "I can't guarantee that. My client is a very patient man, and forever is a long time for a human."

  Sherry looked from me to Owen and back. "What the heck's going on here?"

  Owen gestured to me. "Misty has won this night, but there are other nights where she might not be so lucky."

  I lowered the box and grinned. "I happen to have the most stupid luck in the world, so count on me winning for-oh, a couple of decades."

  "I'll pass your message on to my client. If you'll excuse me." Owen bowed to us and left through the widened front door.

  CHAPTER 9

  Sherry tilted her head and put her hands on her hips. "Are you two telling me I just slammed my baby into a door for nothing?"

  I turned to her and shrugged. "At least you avenged Charlie," I pointed out.

  She frowned and turned away. "I guess, but I was hoping to get some more action."

  "I'll make sure to call you the next time that guy shows his face," I promised her.

  I strode into the living room and walked up to the metal coffin. I knocked on the lid. "Roland, you still in there?"

  "Yes."

  "Did you hear what Alston said?"

  "Said, but he neglected one minor detail," he told me.

  I frowned. "What's that?"

  "We have no way to open the coffin."

  I cringed. "Oops."

  Sherry walked into the room and glanced between me and the coffin. "Why can't he just open it from the inside?" she asked me.