Fibles

by M. R. Everette

  "What did you come up with that makes them so easy to eat?" asked Ewe Too.

  "I came up with a recipe called "Peaish-Carbob's", where I alternate sliding peas and carrots on a small skewer stick. Then I dunk'em in my favorite dipping sauce, and they go sliding down real easy. It's a ba-a-autiful combination!" said the chef Ewe Wee.

  The Guppible One

  Gillmore the guppy was getting bored with having to go to swimming school along the coast, especially on a day when the sun was shining, the surf was splashing, and the water was sparkling clear.

  Each day before school assembled, Percy the perch would be perched on his favorite rock, waiting for Gillmore the guppy to join up with him before leaving for school.

  As Gillmore arrived that morning for school, Percy said, "It's such a beautiful morning. I wish something exciting would happen in school today."

  "I agree!" said Gillmore. "All our class does is swim up and down the coast in the same spot everyday, and it's so boring!"

  Lurking close by in the water was Finister the devilfish, who listened in on Percy's and Gillmore's conversation about wishing something exciting would happen today.

  "Hey, you guys want to play hooky today?" offered Finister.

  "What's hooky?" asked Gillmore.

  "Playing hooky is fishtailing it over to the pier after skipping school, and then nibbling away at the free lunch the fishermen dangle from their lines without getting hooked," said the devilish Finister.

  "That sounds like an exciting fishing expedi­tion to me," answered Gillmore.

  "How about you, Percy?" prodded Finister.

  "A free lunch sounds fishy to me, so I think I'm going to play it safe and stay in school," Percy replied.

  "We're going to leave our backpacks next to your rock and pick them up later, after our free lunch," Finister and Gillmore said to Percy.

  Percy got off his perch and swam off to class. When Wally the walleye swam by, Finister asked him to tell Miss Marlin the schoolteacher that he and Gillmore were sick and feeling like fish out of water and wouldn't be able to attend school today.

  The plan to play hooky had now set sail, as Finister and Gillmore fishtailed over to the pier to get an exciting free lunch. Finister was the first one to begin nibbling away at the free lunch when a fish­erman quickly hooked him and reeled him in for a fish fry.

  The next school day, as Gillmore arrived to join up with Percy for swimming school, he was looking as black as a sea bass. His scales were smoking, his lips were swollen shut, and he was feeling like a crappie.

  "What happened to you?" asked Oly the mackerel.

  "When Finister got hooked by the fisherman, I got so scared. I swam out to sea as fast as I could, but I got caught in a powerful undertow that took me miles and miles out into the deep blue sea. I got real lost, because I left my GPS unit in my backpack."

  "How did you get so black?" asked Oly.

  "When the undertow stopped, I looked around the deep blue sea and saw Oozy the octopus. I went up to him and started tapping his shoulder to ask him for directions, but he got startled and began inking me. That's how I got so black," said Gillmore.

  "How did you get the smoking scales and the fat lips?" asked Wally.

  "After swimming for awhile, I made it to the reef. That's when Electra the electric eel sprang out of her hiding place, shocking the scales out of me. To make matters worse, I asked Stingy the stingray, who was suntanning on the sand bar, for a ride home. Unfortunately, Stingy didn't recognize me and got so frightened by my looks that he stung me on the mouth. That's how I got two fat lips," stated Gillmore.

  "So how did you get back to the coast?" Percy asked.

  "A pilot fish happened to be flying by and offered me a ride over to the coast, which cost me my lunch money, and I ended up starving for lunch. It was the worst day of my life!" Gillmore sighed. "By the way, what did I miss in school?"

  "It was the best day our class has ever had at school!" Percy said excitedly. "Miss Marlin the schoolteacher took our class on a field trip to the aquarium sea show. We went swimming with the aquarium stars and got to look at all the gawking people through the huge glass windows. It was a whale of a good time!"

  "You also missed Goldie the goldfish strutting back and forth in front of the huge windows, fishing for compliments," laughed Oly.

  "But the most exciting part of the day was getting the greatest free lunch in the world from all the people at the aquarium," said Percy.

  "I should have stayed in school!" lamented Gillmore, the guppible one.

  The Jungle Bungle

  Mandrill the monkey was looking for a chance to build something during his summer vacation time on the jungle island, while all the other kids were swinging on vines and frolicking throughout the jungle.

  Everyday, the young Mandrill would put on his kid's tool belt, go down to the beach, and sit with his lonely friend Hermit the crab to watch his uncle's construction business build a new tree house. Mandrill would spend his time studying the nuts and bolts of building something strong.

  One day, Mac the macaw came flying overhead and cawed, "Anyone interested in helping build the kid's new playground jungle gym, please see Miss June the baboon at noon."

  "You should go check it out," urged Hermit.

  "You're right, Hermit. I can help with my building knowledge," said the young Mandrill.

  Mandrill got excited about the chance to build something. He jumped on the swing set of vines to go see Miss June. After standing in line for hours and hours, he finally got to see Miss June and offer his building knowledge.

  "Have you ever built anything before?" inquired Miss June.

  "No, but I've studied the nuts and bolts of building something strong," said Mandrill.

  "I'm sorry. We can't use you because you have no experience, and you're too young to be working up in a tree," stated Miss June.

  Before Mandrill left the playground site, he checked out the work crew that was building the new playground jungle gym up in the tree. Buzz the buzzard was buzz-sawing the wood, Wayne the crane was hoisting the wood up, and Gibby the gibbon was tying the ribbon to hold the wood together.

  Mandrill thought, "They're going to bungle the jungle gym, and it will never be strong enough to hold." Later that day, Hermit saw Mandrill deject­edly sitting on the beach, sulking and moping about not getting a chance to help build the new play­ground jungle gym.

  "Why are you so dejected?" asked the consoling Hermit.

  "No one will give me a chance to build some­thing, because they say I have no experience and I'm too young," moaned Mandrill.

  Up in the tree house, Mandrill's uncle was packing up his tools at the end of his swing shift and heard the dilemma. He walked across the beach to where Mandrill and Hermit were sitting and said, "I'll give you a chance to build something. Here's an extra cordless drill, a "case" of nuts and bolts, and a monkey wrench for you to use."

  "Thanks, Uncle!" Mandrill said as his eyes lit up. "I'm going to build a set of monkey bars for us to play on."

  "And I'm going to gather the driftwood that's lying on the beach for the set of monkey bars," added Hermit.

  The next day at dawn, Mandrill and Hermit were up and at it, as they put on their kid tool belts and got busy building the set of monkey bars. Mandrill was drilling the wood, and Hermit was lifting the wood up. To make it strong, Hermit began inserting bolts in the wood, and Mandrill followed by tight­ening the nuts with his monkey wrench until the set of monkey bars were completed.

  At the end of the day, Mandrill and Hermit were swinging and hanging on the set of monkey bars when Hermit blurted out, "We should invite all the jungle kids over to play with us."

  "That's a great idea!" said Mandrill. "I'll get Mac the macaw to caw out a play invitation."

  A few hours later, Mac flew back and reported, "No one will be coming, because tomorrow they all are going to the grand opening of the new play­ground jungle gym."

  During the night, the macaw w
arning system went off and cawed for everyone to seek shelter, as a typhoon was descending on the jungle island.

  The waves were roaring, the coconuts were dropping, and the winds were swaying the trees back and forth so hard that the ribbons snapped on the playground jungle gym and catapulted it through the air and out into the ocean.

  After the typhoon had subsided, all the jungle kids went to the playground site, only to see that the jungle gym had disappeared. They all sighed in disbelief.

  "Now we don't have anything to play on!" said the disappointed kids to Miss June.

  Mac the macaw, who was flying overhead, cawed out, "Go check out Mandrill's set of monkey bars on the beach."

  All the jungle kids scurried over to the beach and saw Mandrill and Hermit swinging and hanging on the set of monkey bars, having the time of their lives.

  "Why is your playground the only one standing on the jungle island?" asked Gibby the gibbon, the ribbon tying one.

  "It was a good "case" of monkey see, monkey do," stated the master craftsman Mandrill the monkey.

  The Shears and Roebuck

  Roebuck the buck never had a haircut in his entire life. Then everyone got a text message from school, reminding them that their school yearbook photos would be taken tomorrow.

  All the kids started scrambling to come up with a cool look for school by searching sales, clip­ping coupons, and bustling around the department store---all except Roebuck the buck, because his schoolmates considered his hairstyle of long, straight blond locks to be the coolest look in school.

  "It's time to just get a simple haircut, and you'll look nice for your school yearbook photo," suggested Roebuck's mom.

  "Haircuts never look good because you always get butchered," replied Roebuck.

  Roebuck thought long and hard about what he could do with his hair without having to get a haircut. He decided to text some of his doe friends for their advice.

  "You need a cool look that makes a statement for the school yearbook," the does replied.

  "I've got to come up with a plan," said Roebuck. "I know! I'll just go to the department store and buy some hair-styling products."

  After hours of gelling, waxing, and spraying his hair, Roebuck took a photo of his new look and posted it on his social page, so the does could let him know if it was a cool look for school.

  "What do you think of the new look?" Roebuck asked on his social page.

  "Yikes!" replied the does. "The spike is so fad­like, and now you look like Dwib the guib!"

  "Well, that didn't turn out well, so I'll go to plan B," said Roebuck. "I'll go back to the depart­ment store and buy a do-it-yourself perm kit!"

  After hours of perming, packing, and picking his hair, Roebuck took a photo of his latest look and posted it on his social page, so the does could let him know if this was a cooler look for school.

  "What do think of this look?" Roebuck asked again.

  "Yo!" said the does. "The fro is so retro, and now you look like Dope the antelope!"

  "I'm running out of time, so I'll have to go to plan C," said Roebuck. "I'll run back to the depart­ment store before they close and buy a set of shears, so I can cut my hair myself so it doesn't get butch­ered."

  After hours of snipping, clipping and shearing his hair, Roebuck had gone through every hairstyle from mullet to Mohawk, trying to come up with a cool look for school. Time ran out, and he ended up with no hair left on his head.

  "I'd better text the does and get some advice on what they think about a shaved-head look before they see a photo of me and freak out," hastened Roebuck.

  "Ew!" replied the does. "The crew is so not you, and you'll end up looking like Dork the stork!"

  The does' feedback let Roebuck know that his shaved head would not be a cool look for school, so he thought long and hard once again about what he could do next with his shaved head before he had to go back to school to have his photo taken.

  The next day, all the kids went to have their photos taken at the school, decked out in their new clothes and hairstyles, like the bee with her beehive, the bobcat with his bob, and the pony with her pony-tail. Everybody was trying to make a statement about being cool at school.

  Roebuck was the last to arrive at the photo shoot and when he sauntered in, everyone started staring at the longest blond dreadlocks ever seen. The does' jaws dropped to the floor. Roebuck's new hairstyle now had become the coolest look in school once again.

  The beetle with the Beatle cut, standing in front of Roebuck in the photo line, turned around and asked, "How did you come up with the coolest look in school again?"

  "Actually, my head is shaved, and I really look like Dork the stork, but last night I was looking through my old baby photo album. Some photos my mom took gave me a great idea to fashion and braid a wig out of some long spaghetti noodles," replied Roebuck.

  "Why didn't you just get a simple haircut?" asked the beetle.

  "Because I'm a meatball for not listening!" said the Pastafarian Roebuck the buck.

  The Hoot Done It

  Fraidy the friendless cat's progress report after the first year at his new school read that he was too scared to meet new friends and would always be sitting on the windowsill, talking to himself.

  One evening after dinner, Fraidy was called down from his windowsill at home. His parents told him that it was time for him to get out of the house and go to summer adventure camp.

  "You'll have a great time and meet new friends," his parents said.

  They showed Fraidy the brochure they'd downloaded from the net of the summer adventure camp, where hundreds of kids from all over the world went to meet new friends and seek adventure, like rock climbing, backpacking, and kayaking.

  On the long bus ride to the summer adventure camp, Fraidy sat all by himself next to the window. When all the kids got off the bus to go to the bunk-house, Fraidy slept on the windowsill to make himself feel at home.

  The first morning at roll call, the camp guide reported, "Someone dressed in black last night was seen taking off with a climbing rope, and today's lunch is missing."

  "We think Fraidy done it, because he sits on the windowsill, and he fits the description of a cat burglar," said all the kids.

  "It wasn't me!" replied Fraidy.

  "Do you know who done it?" asked the camp guide.

  "You need to ask Hoot who done it," said Fraidy.

  "Who's Hoot? He's not on the roster," stated the camp guide.

  "Nobody knows Hoot, but we'll keep our eyes and ears open if anything seems suspicious," said all the kids.

  After roll call, the camp guide loaded everyone into the bus, and they all drove off to have a great time of rock climbing in the mountains, except for Fraidy, because he was too scared of heights.

  On the second morning, the camp guide reported, "Someone dressed in black last night was seen taking off with a backpack, and a kayak is missing."

  "We think Fraidy done it because a cat burglar needs a backpack and a kayak for a quick getaway," said all the kids.

  "It wasn't me!" replied Fraidy.

  "Do you know who done it?" asked the camp guide.

  "You need to ask Hoot who done it," said Fraidy.

  "Does anybody know who Hoot is?" inquired the camp guide.

  "He's Fraidy's imaginary friend that he talks to outside the window," heckled all the kids.

  "Fraidy, you are to report to the camp counsel­or's office, so we can get to the bottom of all the items that are missing at the summer adventure camp," demanded the camp guide.

  Fraidy was very afraid of being expelled from summer adventure camp and disappointing his parents. He took his seat in the camp counselor's office.

  "What do you have to say about all the items that are missing from the summer adventure camp?" the camp counselor inquired.

  "I was taught to not spread rumors, so in my defense, I'll call Hoot to the stand, and he'll explain everything," said a truthful Fraidy.

  The door opened, and in hopped
Hoot the owl wearing Coke-bottle glasses. He took the witness stand, raising his right wing and swearing to tell the truth and nothing but the truth about the missing climbing rope and lunch.

  "So Hoot done it?" asked the camp counselor.

  "It was Maggie the magpie who took the rope to climb down the roof slope, so she could eat all the pizza pies," said Hoot.

  The camp counselor made his notes and then swiveled around in his chair and asked another question about the missing backpack and kayak. "So Hoot who done it?" asked the camp counselor.

  "It was Jack the yak who took the backpack and hijacked the kayak, so he could get back home to sleep in his own sack," said Hoot.

  "Fraidy, since you gave a Hoot to this inquiry, you are hereby cleared of all the cat burglary charges," announced the camp counselor.

  Fraidy was greeted by all the kids, who now accepted him as their new friend. They asked him why he didn't know who done it.

  "It's not who you know; it's Hoot you know," said the not-so Fraidy the cat.

  The Ellie Fantastic

  Ellie the elephant enjoyed humming and beating to her favorite tunes while riding her small bicycle during her daily exercise routine. Suddenly, the batteries in her small music player went dead.

  Ellie pulled her bicycle over and lifted up her big ears to take out her small listening pieces. Then she heard the live big-band sounds of horns blaring, drums banging, and cymbals crashing.

  Ellie followed the big-band sounds with her big ears over to her school's practice field, where she saw her small chum Chummie the humming­bird standing on the sideline among a group of musicians.

  "What's happening?" asked Ellie.

  "They're conducting tryouts for musicians who want to be in the school marching band," said Chummie.