Redeeming Honor

by E. A. West

Ryan joined his girlfriend and held up the bags. “She brought us some produce.”

  “You didn’t have to do that!” Sara smiled as she peeked into the bags and then set them on the counter. “But I do appreciate it. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Meghan didn’t bother explaining the poor sales again. Ryan could tell her if he wanted.

  “Ryan, could you get the salad out of the fridge?” Sara said as she turned back to her work.

  “Sure thing.” He moved to the appliance in the corner, completely at ease in Sara’s kitchen.

  A pang hit as Meghan watched her brother and his girlfriend move around the kitchen, setting the table and finishing last-minute details on the meal. It reminded her so much of the last week with Basir in her own kitchen. He had been growing progressively more comfortable in the domestic setting, helping her put dishes on the table or collecting silverware. Small things that showed a level of comfort she had only dreamed of until recently. She tried not to feel jealous of Ryan and Sara being together when she couldn’t be with Basir, but it was a challenge. If Colonel Spencer hadn’t shown up, she would be at the park with Basir, enjoying their second date.

  The conversation stayed light over dinner, and Meghan’s mood lifted. Despite her doubts and worry about intruding, she had to admit Sara had done her a favor by inviting her to dinner. The companionship of one of the most important people in her life and the woman who was important to him helped her relax and believe everything would turn out all right. After all, Ryan would be more concerned if Basir had gone somewhere dangerous. Wouldn’t he?

  Memories floated through her mind of all the nonchalant and lighthearted letters and conversations when he was in Afghanistan. He had been in danger then, yet he had purposely avoided telling her anything that would make her worry about him. Was his seeming lack of concern about Basir’s current location an act?

  As she tried to figure out a way to ask without making him mad, Sara spoke. “So, Ryan, Meghan told me she has no idea where Basir’s gone.”

  “That’s right.” He finished off the last bit of his meal and leaned back in his chair with a contented smile. “Delicious as usual, Sara.”

  “Thank you.” She glanced at Meghan, her expression showing she saw right through the attempt at changing the subject. “Do you know where Basir went or when he’ll be back?”

  “I can’t say.” Tension stiffened Ryan’s posture ever so slightly, despite his attempt to appear relaxed.

  “Even though you’re his roommate and best friend?” Sara rolled her eyes. “Come on, Ryan. I find it hard to believe you know nothing about his sudden disappearance.”

  “I didn’t say that.” He pushed his plate aside and crossed his arms on the edge of the table. “I said I can’t tell you anything. He went with Colonel Spencer, as Meghan already knows, but that’s all I can tell you.”

  Meghan couldn’t leave Sara alone in this quest for information. “Do you know more than that?”

  Ryan closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. As he slowly released it, he locked his gaze onto her. “Yes, but I can’t tell you what.”

  “Why can’t you tell her?” Sara asked. “I mean, he’s going out with her, and you’re her brother. Can’t you at least give her some idea of when he’ll be back?”

  “No!” Ryan shoved his chair back and stood. He paced across the kitchen and back. Meghan wondered if Sara had made a mistake by pushing him. Then he stopped at the end of the table with a pained expression. “I wish I could tell you what’s going on, where Basir is, and when he’ll be back. But I can’t. Colonel Spencer swore me to secrecy, and I will not break my word to him. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”

  Meghan’s fear of Basir going back to Afghanistan renewed, she fought to stay calm. “I understand, but I need to know something.”

  “I can’t tell you anything.”

  “I just need to know if he’s safe wherever the colonel took him.” She looked her brother in the eye and prayed he would be willing to give her the reassurance she craved. “And I need to know if he really is coming back. Can you at least tell me that much?”

  Ryan rounded the table and knelt beside her. “Megs, I already told you Colonel Spencer will bring him back soon. I can’t tell you when that will be, but it shouldn’t be too long.”

  “Is he safe?” Tears burned her eyes, but she blinked them away. She had already cried too much.

  “Yes, he is.” Ryan laid a hand on her shoulder. “Why would you think he isn’t?”

  “When marines show up and suddenly take away one of their former interpreters, it’s a little suspicious. Especially when it’s all such a big secret that no one can even tell me, the woman he’s dating, what’s going on.”

  “Ah, Megs.” Ryan wrapped her in a hug. “Basir is fine and perfectly safe. I know it’s hard not knowing any details, but you’re just going to have to trust me on this one.”

  “I’ll try.” She took a calming breath as he returned to his seat. Somehow, she would just have to survive in ignorance and hope it didn’t drive her completely crazy before Basir showed up again.

  ~*~

  The next few days were an exercise in determination. In a way, the whole situation felt surreal, almost as if Ryan and Basir had never lived in her house. Once again, Meghan was responsible for everything from caring for the alpacas to weeding to her yarn business. Ryan’s work schedule kept him too busy to stop by and help out, but she didn’t mind too much. The time alone gave her plenty of opportunity to take her worries to God and seek His comfort and guidance.

  Yet she couldn’t seem to ease the building stress. Until Ryan and Basir started helping her around the farm, she never realized just how much responsibility she had shouldered. Now that she was on her own again, the weight of it pressed down, threatening to crush her at any moment. She would survive and eventually get used to doing it all herself again, but she didn’t want to. No matter how selfish it might be, she wanted Basir back. Wanted him puttering around the farm doing whatever work presented itself. Wanted him to show up in the kitchen at mealtime and sit at the table with her.

  She wanted him to give her a hug and assure her he would never disappear without a word again.

  The alpacas milled around their pens, waiting for their breakfast. Meghan filled a pair of buckets with feed and carried them to the first pen. After filling the trough, she went back to the feed room for the next round. As she headed for the second pen, one of the bucket handles broke, sending feed scattering across the barn aisle.

  Meghan stared at the mess, and something deep inside snapped. She sank to the cool concrete as tears rolled down her cheeks. How had she ever survived on her own? How much longer could she possibly be expected to keep going without any word from Basir?

  “Oh, God, please give me strength,” she whispered in the early morning silence. “Mine is completely tapped.”

  No sudden burst of energy filled her. The tears didn’t miraculously stop, yet somehow God had heard her. He would help her do everything she needed to do. Right at that moment, what she needed more than anything was a good cry to release all the tension, worry, and fear that had been building since Colonel Spencer showed up on her farm.

  Prayers rolled from her heart, laying everything at God’s feet, as the tears streamed from her eyes. With each passing moment, the weight lifted from her. She would survive, even thrive, regardless of whether she had human assistance or not. She had God by her side, and with Him as her partner and leader in life, everything would work out. After all, even Romans chapter eight, verse twenty-eight said, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”

  Finally, she dried her eyes and took a shaky breath. If she had known how much better she would feel after crying, she wouldn’t have fought so hard against it for so long. She reached for the broken bucket, but the sound of footsteps at the barn entrance caught her attention.

  “Me
ghan?” Basir’s deep voice brought fresh tears to her eyes, and she looked over as he dropped a knapsack on the ground and hurried toward her. He knelt before her and searched her face. “Are you all right? What happened?”

  She could hardly think of anything to say with her heart so filled with joy at the sight of him. “The handle broke, and I’ve been so worried about you, and...I’m so glad you’re back!”

  She rose up on her knees and threw her arms around his neck. He held her close and rubbed her back as he spoke softly.

  “I missed you too. I am sorry I had to leave so suddenly and couldn’t tell you.”

  “You’re here now. That’s the important thing.” She relished the feel of his embrace and said a silent prayer of thanks he had returned unharmed. “Can you tell me where you went? Ryan said Colonel Spencer swore him to secrecy.”

  “He did. He warned me not to say anything, either.” Basir rocked back on his heels and smoothed her hair away from her face. “But I don’t want to lie to you or keep secrets from you. I love you, and you deserve to know the truth.”

  As much as she wanted to know where he had been, she couldn’t let him risk a reprimand. “Basir, I don’t want you break your word to Colonel Spencer just for me. It will be difficult not knowing where you were, but I don’t want you to risk getting in trouble.”

  He smiled, a beautiful sight after the last few days. “I made no promise to Colonel Spencer. He said I shouldn’t say anything, but he never asked me to promise I wouldn’t.”

  “So, you wouldn’t be breaking your word?” Although she felt as if they were creating a loophole in the situation’s confidentiality, she wasn’t going to argue if he wanted to enlighten her about his activities of the past few days.

  “That is right. I will not tell anyone other than you, but I want to tell you. You deserve to know.” He took her hand in both of his and looked her in the eye. “Colonel Spencer needed me to act as interpreter for a man in the United States for surgery. The original interpreter got sick, and because of the sensitivity of the situation, the colonel wanted someone he knew he could trust until the other interpreter recovered and could resume his job.”

  Meghan searched his features but saw no sign of anything but complete sincerity. “I don’t understand. Why is a man in need of surgery such a secret?”

  “Because of who the man is. It is best if very few people know he is in the country.” Basir lowered his gaze. “I cannot tell you his identity. It is too sensitive.”

  “That’s OK.” She lifted her free hand and laid it along his jaw. His sharp intake of breath and the sudden warmth in his gaze soothed away her remaining stress. “I’m glad you told me as much as you did. I’ve been coming up with all kinds of terrible possibilities for where you had gone, and the worst of them left me afraid you wouldn’t come back. It hurt deeply to think of losing you.”

  “You will not lose me.” He released her hand and grasped her shoulders. “I love you, Meghan. I will never abandon you.”

  “I know, but there’s always the possibility Colonel Spencer or someone else will need you again.”

  “This is true, but I will make it clear that you are to know where I go and when I will return.” He drew her closer. “I know this may not be the best time or even the right way to do it, but I can’t keep silent any longer.”

  Her heart thundered in her chest. She sensed something big was about to happen, but she couldn’t tell from his serious expression whether it was good or not.

  He stroked his fingers along her cheek. “Meghan, I want to share the rest of my life with you, and I hope you want to do the same. Will you marry me and become my wife?”

  The simple, plain-spoken proposal in one of the least romantic places she could imagine was the most romantic moment in her life. Her heart overflowed, and she blinked back the moisture that sprang to her eyes.

  “Yes, Basir, I will marry you. I would love to be your wife.”

  He gathered her in his arms and held her close. Then he leaned back just far enough to look into her eyes. “You have made me a very happy man.”

  She started to tell him he had made her happy by proposing, but his lips meeting hers in the gentlest of kisses rendered her speechless. So much emotion came through his kiss, and she clung to him, absorbing every bit of it and reciprocating with her own heightened emotions. He held her tighter, and she never wanted him to let her go.

  Unhappy animal sounds came from the pens, and Basir broke the kiss. “It sounds like the alpacas want their breakfast.”

  Meghan laughed, both relieved and disappointed when he released her. The emotion flowing between them was so strong it nearly overwhelmed her, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loved Basir, loved the way he had finally opened up to her and let her into his heart. More than anything, she wanted to continue deepening that connection, but the herd was hungry. Animals came first on the farm. The relationship would have to wait a little while longer.

  Basir stood and helped Meghan to her feet. “Do you want me to feed the alpacas or clean this up?”

  She looked at the spilled feed surrounding them and considered the choices. “I’ll feed the herd.”

  As she filled another bucket and carried it to the waiting pen, she stole glances at Basir. Seeing him in her barn again was like seeing a finished puzzle. The picture was beautiful, and she had never felt more complete than knowing such an amazing man would be her husband.

  Once they had the alpacas happily eating, Meghan and Basir headed up to the house, pausing only long enough to pick up his pack. As they walked, she slipped her hand into his and met his smile with one of her own.

  “How did you get here so early?”

  “I had them drop me off here instead of the apartment.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I didn’t want to wait to see you.”

  “I’m glad you came straight here, although I kind of wish you hadn’t seen me lose it in the barn.”

  “You never did fully explain that.” He stopped her by the garden. “You seemed more upset than a broken bucket handle or spilled feed called for.”

  “I was. The broken handle was the last straw, so to speak.” She remembered the last few days and sighed. “It’s been hard since Ryan told me you packed a bag and left. I didn’t realize how much I had come to rely on you until you weren’t here. Then there was the added stress of worrying about you.”

  “God is always in control, even when we don’t know what is going on.”

  “I know, and I’ve been trying to leave all that worry at His feet, but I couldn’t seem to let it go. Until this morning, that is. When you got here, I had just finished a long conversation with God and managed to release all the stress and worry that had been building since Friday.”

  Basir smiled and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “I am glad you turned to God. He is the One who has kept me going no matter how bad things got. He is always faithful, even when our faith wavers.”

  “He is my Rock.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “But I like having you as my other rock.”

  “I have never been called a rock before, but coming from you it is a great compliment.” Basir put his arm around her shoulders as they continued on to the house. “You know, now that we are engaged, I must speak with your father. I need to know he approves of me for you.”

  “I have no doubt he will approve.”

  “Even so...”

  They arrived at the back door, and Basir opened it. Meghan paused before stepping through. “You can talk to my dad next week. He and my mom are coming down for the town fair and will be here for a few days.”

  Basir released a breath and smiled. “Good. I will talk to him then. I was a little afraid I would have to talk to him over the phone, but this is a conversation that should happen face to face.”

  “They’ll be here sometime on Monday, and you’ll have until they leave Saturday morning to talk to him.” Meghan entered the house and turned around to watch Basir follow her. “I’ll e
ven be nice and keep my mom out of the way so you guys can talk privately, if you want.”

  “Thank you.” He planted a kiss on her cheek and continued into the kitchen.

  Meghan followed him and prayed the conversation with her father would go as well as she hoped. If it didn’t, she wasn’t sure Basir would still be willing to marry her.

  18

  “Great. We’ll see you in a few minutes.” Meghan ended the call with her mother and turned to find Basir and Ryan watching her from their seats at the kitchen table. “Mom and Dad are passing through town now. They’ll be here in less than ten minutes.”

  A flutter of nerves attacked, killing her appetite. She scraped the last of her lunch into the trash and set the plate in the sink. Ryan carried his empty plate over and added it to hers.

  “You did tell them you’re engaged, right?” he asked as Basir approached with his dishes.

  “Yes, and they’re excited about it.” She looked at Basir. “I can’t wait for you to meet them, but I’m still nervous.”

  He set his dishes on the counter and took her hand. “I am nervous too, but we will both live.”

  “I know.” She moved to his side and leaned against him, thankful he put his arm around her. After waiting so long for him to show affection in some way, having him hold her was even more comforting and amazing than she had imagined. “Once they’re here and they meet you, I’ll be fine. It’s just the waiting that’s getting to me.”

  Ryan grinned and leaned against the counter. “You guys know I’ll back you up. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  “You’re wrong. There’s plenty to worry about, but very little of it comes anywhere close to realistic.” Meghan sighed and straightened. “I need to get these dishes washed, or Mom will insist on doing them the moment she walks in here.”

  As she washed the few lunch dishes, Basir picked up a dish towel and dried them. Ryan put them away, and soon the kitchen was clean. The sound of a vehicle on the drive set Meghan’s pulse racing. Kadwaal roused from his nap by the wall and stood. The kitten’s ears twitched, and he yawned as he stretched.