by Blythe Stone
I took the phone and hit a few buttons, deleting Daisy’s number and sighing deeply. “I’m going to say hi and I’ll meet you guys out front.”
I leaned in, kissing Olivia. Not a quick kiss like I usually would but a good, lingering one. I needed it and I wanted her to know that I was hers. She resisted at first but I insisted. I could feel the point when she broke for me and as I pulled away I could feel her needing me. “I love you.” I said, needing her to know.
She may’ve broken and allowed me to kiss her but she didn’t say anything back to comfort me, not that I deserved it. That made me feel even worse. She barely even reacted when I kissed her. I basically wanted to just fucking die right there.
I opened the door to the basement stairs and went down, checking to make sure that Olivia and Holland went back toward the front door.
When I got down to the game room I found far less people than I thought would be there. Anna was sitting over on a couch with Skylar. There were some girls playing beer pong. Other swim team people.
“Hey!” Skylar jumped up and ran toward me, hugging me much like Daisy just had.
“Hey,” I said back. She kissed me on the cheek and I pulled back. That was weird. We never really showed that kind of affection. Just hugs and linked arms. She’d never kissed me on the cheek before. I could smell the liquor on her breath.
They probably had all the hard stuff down here, hidden from the masses upstairs.
“I really only just came down to say hi and I have to leave. My ex is here and she made a big fucking show in front of Olivia and I don’t even really want to deal with that right now.”
“That sucks,” Skylar said, smiling up at me lovingly. There was a flush in her cheeks and her eyes seemed to fixate on me.
“You’re drunk.” I told her.
“Yeah, you should try it sometime,” she said, pushing a cup at me.
“That never turns out well,” I laughed.
“Come on, you said you didn’t want to deal.” She took the cup back. “Oh, I know.” She pulled me over in the direction of the makeshift bar.
“This is Luke, Anna’s brother. He’s the bartender. He’ll make you anything you want. Even something extra special.”
“Hey, Luke,” I said. “I guess I’ll take something extra special or whatever.”
I didn’t even care. I just wanted to not think about what I was going to have to deal with when we got home. Olivia could drive us home. We’d taken her car but I drove over since I knew where it was. I didn’t have to be completely sober.
He gave me a wink, one that gave me the creeps, and started pouring various things into a glass. I turned away, seeing that Skylar and I were virtually alone now. Anna had disappeared with the guy she’d been sitting with.
Luke set the cup up on the counter and slid it across. “That should make you forget your troubles,” he told me.
I took it and sipped. It didn’t taste bad, kind of fruity, but it was definitely strong. “Thanks,” I told him.
“Come sit with me for a minute,” Skylar said, pulling me toward the couch.
I almost spilled my drink, she was so insistent, but we made it to the couch without incident and I sat. She scooted really close to me and propped her elbow on the back of the couch.
“So, where’s your girlfriend?”
“Fiancé,” I corrected.
“Right, sorry,” she said. “Drink.”
I rolled my eyes and took another drink.
“NO, like, really drink.” She tipped my cup and my face back with her hand.
“Shit,” I said, coughing. “Calm down, Sky. What’s wrong with you?”
“I just miss you.” She got a little closer to my face and I backed off.
My brows scrunched. “You see me almost every day. I see you more than I see Olivia.”
I frowned. That wasn’t good. I hadn’t actually thought about that until she said that to me.
“Yeah, but it’s not like it used to be. You’re kind of more distant now,” She said, poking my arm.
“What are you talking about?”
“We used to be closer,” she whined. “You used to hang out in my room all weekend and we would watch movies and sleep over. I miss that. I miss us.”
“My life changed,” I shrugged, not knowing what else to say. “I have Olivia. I have someone that loves me as much as I love them.”
“You could’ve had had someone like that…”
Whatever was in this cup was stronger than I even thought because I was feeling a little woozy. “What did he put-” My head spun. It wasn’t just alcohol.
One second I was looking down into the cup, wondering if I was about to have a bad trip and the next Skylar was pulling my face to hers and kissing me. I put my hands out, trying to get her off of me. Everything in my head and heart revolved. No one should be kissing me except Olivia.
I tried to struggle back but she kept coming at me. I yanked my head away.
“What?” I heard Holland’s voice but, when I looked up, I saw Olivia on the stairs sort of frozen. Holland was hovering close behind her and she was staring too but she had more of an obvious reaction than Olivia. I realized they’d both seen.
Olivia’s face changed, her eyes squeezing to fight back tears as she turned, pushing around Holland, hurt, and moving quickly back up the stairs and away from me.
“FUCK!” I yelled.
I jumped up, almost falling over. Why did I always have luck like this. I stumbled toward the stairs, not even caring that Skylar was on the couch crying.
“Olivia!” I screamed her name. My heart was beating out of my chest and I tried to focus through the haze. I made it up to Holland and she put an arm around me.
“What the fuck, Avery?!” Holland asked.
“She kissed me,” I said. “I didn’t even know it was coming. I had no idea. I pushed her away.”
“What do you have like some fucking crazy pheromones?! Why are all these girls after you?”
“Probably because the universe doesn’t want me to be happy,” I wobbled. “I have no idea what was in that shit I just drank but it was not right. Can you just get me to Olivia now? I need to explain.”
She pulled me up the rest of the stairs and we broke through the crowd. Holland might be small but she’s used to pushing people out of the way on the soccer field. A party crowd had nothing on her. We made it outside but I didn’t see Olivia. She wasn’t at the car. I looked around. I knew she wouldn’t be inside if she could help it.
“There,” Holland said, pointing down the road.
I could barely see a figure, walking away right into the dark. She was going in the direction that we’d come with the car. “Here,” I said, passing Holland the keys. “Drive me down there. I don’t think I can walk it.”
We got in and I rolled the passenger side window down. Holland turned the car around and drove, pulling up beside Olivia as she walked.
“Baby, get in the car, please,” I slurred. “She kissed me. I didn’t even kiss her back. I just pulled away. I swear. Olivia. Look at me,” I was crying now. “Babe? Please.”
Olivia turned to look at me. She gave me a certain look and it was so layered and complex that I couldn’t even begin to understand what she was feeling. It was more than obvious that I broke her in some new way.
After that she turned away and kept walking, this time faster.
Holland kept pace with her. “Olivia, seriously. Can you slow down? I’m not feeling really well right now. I’m pretty sure…” I climbed a little out of the window, going a little crazy and wanting to be closer to her, to touch her. “That asshole put something in my drink.” I fell over the side of the car and just hung there dizzy.
“Stop.” I said, as everything went black.
Chapter Three
Olivia
I don’t know why she did this. I don’t know why she brought me here or why she wanted me here.
I don’t know why she pushed me off all week and then asked me to help her pick
up Holland and then come to some stupid fucking party just to watch her be hit on by her ex and then kiss the girl who I knew was in love with her.
I just don’t FUCKING know!
“Olivia?”
I looked up.
Holland was driving my car. My car.
And she was calling for me.
I stopped and turned, trying to hide everything I felt, everything I knew was on my face.
“She’s not okay,” Holland said worried.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay.” I could be strong. Obviously. I gathered all my thoughts back into myself.
Holland didn’t ask for this. This wasn’t her fault.
I walked back to the car and helped Avery back in. Avery was heavy and near lifeless. I had to open the back door and pretty much push her to be inside.
She wasn’t really there. Whatever she drank made her out of it and strange.
I got in the back and sat with her.
As soon as I did though Avery moved into me and tried to hold me. I felt her body come into mine.
On any other day I would be happy about this. On any other day I would be drowning in her and loving her and elated to be where I was but this wasn’t any other day, this was my own personal fucking hell and it was real and it was happening.
“I hate this,” I said, trying hard to stop myself from crying.
Avery didn’t hear me but Holland did.
“Okay, look, I dunno what’s happening but I know that I’ve never seen Avery like this, not ever.”
“So what? Should we go to the hospital?” I asked angrily.
I didn’t know what Holland wanted but I knew I didn’t want to deal with this. I was already too far under as far as feeling like Avery didn’t fucking care.
“No,” Holland said. “Someone probably put something in her drink.”
“What?” I was instantly sobered by that thought. “Do you really think?”
“Of course,” Holland said, driving the car smoothly down the road without effort and bringing us back toward my neighborhood. She had a good memory. We’d only been there once with her and Holland surely didn’t drive that first time.
“Shit,” I said, realizing. I looked down at Avery and tried to check on her. She seemed completely out of it. Her timing couldn’t be more perfect.
I was stuck basically. I couldn’t run and I couldn’t comfortably stay.
“Is your friend always this crazy?” I asked.
“Not really,” she laughed. “But you should know already right? You’re marrying her.”
“I want to,” I said, coming back into reality and trying to set it all aside.
Avery had her arms wrapped around her waist and her head in my lap. I put my hand on her back and I’d been petting her to try and calm her. She was so not in this realm of existence. It was terrifying.
If anything I was just livid and trying to quell it all.
“So is this normal then?” Holland asked, driving and taking the place I usually took. Holland seemed put together, more serious and normal than all of Avery’s other friends.
“I dunno,” I said. “I haven’t known Avery that long.”
It hurt to be truthful about that.
“When I first met her it didn’t seem like she really liked being with anyone…”
“Yeah,” Holland laughed. “That sounds about right.”
Avery pulled me into her and squeezed me so I couldn’t come loose.
It hurt, given everything.
“This is your house, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, trying to stop myself mid panic. “I’m really sorry all of this is happening,” I said.
“You’re kidding me right?!”
“What?” I wondered.
Why would I be kidding? When did I ever kid?
“Your fiancé just full on kissed some girl in front of you.”
My heart sank. I felt Avery around me and wished it could be simple.
“I knew about Skylar,” I said.
It wasn’t something I could easily explain.
“Wow,” Holland said, looking at me through the rearview mirror. Her eyes locked on mine and I felt trapped. “I want to talk to you,” she said, making sure that I knew.
“Okay,” I said, feeling sort of helpless and stuck.
I didn't have much of a choice. I never seemed to.
Avery kept reaching out like she was looking for something and muttering. “Vi?”
“I’m right here,” I said, choking back bitterness. “I’m right here, baby.” I couldn’t pretend that even if I knew she loved her I wouldn’t still be right here completely beholden to her, pathetic and sad.
“Good,” she said, settling down. Her eyes blinked open. “Woah, you spin.”
“Shhhh,” I said, trying to calm her.
It didn’t feel fair that she could just look at me after that.
“Skylar told that guy to make me a drink.” She tried to get close to my face. “I don’t think it was just al-” She opened and closed her eyes looking a little vacant and then refocused. “I only had one- and Sky- she like, made me. She went…”
Avery mimed the cup being pushed in her face. “And then she kissed me and I pushed her real hard and I just thought about how they were only yours.” She smacked her mouth with her hand. “I’m dumb. People like me. Why? I only want one person. S’you.”
And then she was gone again. Back to the unconscious world.
“Shit,” I said, looking down at her unsure of what to do.
Holland drove the car up my drive and parked at the guest house.
“We’re staying here right?” She asked.
“Yeah,” I said. I wasn’t really sure what Avery wanted but we were here now so it made the most sense.
Holland was sweet. She parked the car and helped me get Avery out. She was stronger than me and got Avery to walk with her.
Once we got into the house I felt like running away but I couldn’t.
“What should I do?” I asked. I was worried about her but Holland told me it’d be fine and for whatever reason I trusted her.
“Just relax,” Holland said.
I watched her pull Avery to the bed and lay her down.
I rubbed my fingertips along my scalp and realized I had zero options.
“Maybe you guys should just crash here together,” I said.
“Oh, no,” Holland said, laughing. “You’re not leaving me here with her in your house.”
“It’s a guest house and it’s no big deal,” I said, trying to hide my misplaced anger. I just wanted to go to the treehouse and cry alone since I was alone anyway.
“If you go I’ll follow you,” Holland said. “I dunno what’s going on but I didn’t come all the way up here to be completely ditched by you guys.”
What? She was acting like I was already her close friend. Like I owed her things.
She was also acting like this was somehow partly my fault.
“Hey,” I said, taking her in. “I don’t want to ditch you, I’m just… I’m really confused,” I said truthfully. “Avery’s been super distant with me and then she asked me to go to that stupid party and she asked you to come and she kissed someone in front of me. It’s kind of hard not to feel like I’m being driven away.”
“We don’t know what happened at that party. She could be telling the truth. I never, ever would think Avery would cheat. Not after letting you in. She’d probably die from the guilt. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but she’s kind of the noble, self-sacrificing type.”
She came closer. “Look, I get that things have been weird but shouldn’t you at least listen to her? When she wakes up anyway. Tell me what the deal is with this Skylar girl. Avery told me they were friends and she’s never lied to me. She’s shitty at lying. So, is this girl into her?”
“Yes,” I sighed, unhappy that I even knew. “Skylar told me. She told me months ago but she asked me not to say. But... Either way- Avery kissed her. Avery kissed her. You sa
w it. It’s not like I’m being this crazy irrational person.” I looked up at her and wondered what she would do.
“What I saw was a kiss and Avery pushing her away. She didn’t even know we were there. I’ve known her for a long time. I don’t think she would do that. I’m not saying that the Skylar girl didn’t kiss her but if her drink was drugged she might not have even been able to react really.”
“But she’s been pushing me away for months,” I said, losing it just a bit. Why was she making me explain why I was upset? I had every reason to be upset right now. Any implication to the opposite was frankly insulting. “She sees Skylar way more than she sees me lately. They do things alone. I don’t know what they do. I don’t know if that was the first time. How am I supposed to know what’s going on?! If she’s keeping things from me this all makes sense. Every bit of it.”
I straightened my dress and felt how stiff and shaky my hands were. I didn’t want to let myself think it through like that. Thinking it through the way Holland wanted me to - it made it make sense and- I hated that. It’d be better if it didn’t make sense. It’d be better if I was oblivious and ignorant.
I couldn’t be those things.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry. It just feels like really shit timing. This all does.”
“I understand. I really do. All I know is what Avery tells me and we talk a lot. She said she’s been busy and there is a lot of stuff going on and that she feels like she’s being pulled in all different directions, but every time we talk it’s mostly about you. It’s kind of sickening really.”
“Holland,” I said. It didn’t feel right for her to say all that.
How could it be my fault that Avery talked about loving me more than she actually did?
“I don’t know your life. I just know her,” she pointed at her unconscious friend. “So, do what you have to do just promise that you’re not going to just leave her without trying to talk about it. I’m only saying this as her best friend. I’m not trying to put anything on you. You both deserve to be heard.”
“Okay,” I said, shutting my eyes tight and tightening my fists. “Do you really not see where you are right now?” I asked. Of course I would listen to Avery when she was finally conscious enough to fucking string words.