Hawke

by R. J. Lewis

  “It wouldn’t work,” she argued. “You’re talking about a shocking amount of money here.”

  “If you had it, it would work.”

  “Sounds like something out of a movie.”

  “Except I’ve done it.”

  Emma paused and her jaw dropped. “Fuck off.”

  “Fuck off nothing. I’ve done it. Of course I charge an arm and a leg. Couple hundred grand? I make that in interest.”

  “You fucker.”

  “I am a fucker, and you love that shit.”

  She grinned. “I do.”

  Fuckin’ hell, these two.

  Borden smirked. “So, my point is, doll, if Hawke wanted to go back and lead his feral club, he could. But he doesn’t, which is why he’s here.”

  She looked over at Hawke with a curious look. “Why don’t you want to, Hawke?”

  Hawke tensed his jaw. “Because it’s none of your fucking business.”

  “Aggressive, are we? What’s happened to you to make you flip a switch at that question?”

  “With all due respect, Emma, this isn’t an episode of Days of our fucking Lives, alright? I don’t have to unload my feelings and make you understand shit. It’s my business.”

  “I ask because I’m concerned.”

  “You ask because you’re nosey.”

  “That’s part of it, I won’t lie. It’s just…I don’t like your brother. He’s a pussy worshipping jerk.”

  “You don’t have to like the people you deal business with, like the fucker I had to deal with. It was Yuri.”

  Borden cringed. “I hate that fucker. He’s a creep.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” Emma asked, curiously.

  “He’s got sick fetishes.”

  “Why do you even know that? You always find out this shit.”

  “You wanna find out about the people you deal business with? You find out what their sexual triggers are to get a picture of what they’re like. The seedy fuckers like violence, and that loony liked waterboarding shit. Apparently it made him cum like a hose.”

  “That’s feral, Borden. God, I’m eating!”

  “You asked the question, Emma. He’s a sick fuck.”

  Hawke clenched his jaw. “I killed him.”

  Emma froze and Borden’s bites slowed as he peered at Hawke curiously now. “You leave for a few days and come back with a death wish?”

  “I’ve sorted it out with Abram.”

  Borden chuckled dryly. “You are a fucking idiot if you think you got it sorted out with Abram. He’s a liar. He’ll shake your hand and stab you in the throat at the same fucking time.”

  “He sends his regards.”

  “Couldn’t give a fuck if I tried.” Borden leaned back in his chair, staring hard at Hawke. “You just made yourself an enemy, Hawke. Yuri meant something to that piece of shit.”

  “Yuri was unstable and on to me about something.”

  “Like what?”

  “Tyler.”

  Borden’s eyes lit up with understanding. “You’re kidding me.”

  Emma looked confusedly between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

  Borden didn’t answer. Hawke and him stared at one another for several drawn out moments, silently communicating, and all he saw in Borden’s expression was, You’re fucked.

  “Emma, can you give Hawke and me a couple minutes?” he asked softly.

  She nodded and stood. She was about to leave when he said, “You’re forgetting something, doll.”

  She rolled her eyes, trying to appear annoyed but Hawke noticed the blush in her cheeks as she turned around, bent to his level, and kissed him softly on the cheek. Then she walked out.

  “Let’s run this over,” Borden started, thoughtfully. “How would Yuri know about Tyler?”

  “He shouldn’t.”

  “Well, he did obviously.”

  Hawke frowned. “It would have to have come from Hector, me, you, or my mother. Those are the only people that know about it.”

  “Who in that list is the most probable?”

  He hesitated. “Hector.”

  Borden nodded. “It’s the only thing that would make sense.”

  Hawke rubbed at his face and began to pace the office, feeling his chest tighten as he ran the possibility through. “It doesn’t make sense,” he argued. “It’s not in Hector to betray me like that.”

  “Maybe he’s been betraying you all along. Think about it. You excel at being president and he’s stuck in the shadow of your success. Your men revere you and then all of a sudden you’re pinned on a murder with evidence up to the roof –”

  “You’re suggesting Hector handed the authorities the video.”

  “It’s just a suggestion.”

  “It’s not one I believe. Why would he get me out?”

  “Because he knew you’d be a fugitive and you’d never be able to return.”

  Hawke continued to shake his head, growing more and more frustrated as he went. “I can’t believe that, Borden. It doesn’t work.”

  “You can’t believe that, or you don’t want to believe that?”

  Hawke stopped, glaring at Borden, wanting nothing more than to argue that point but knowing damn straight that he was right.

  Still.

  He couldn’t get himself to consider it.

  “Look,” Borden said calmly, “I’m not going to accuse that manwhore for this. He’s proved his worth time and time again, but…this requires digging.”

  “We’ve been digging,” Hawke stressed, exasperated.

  “I’ve got more resources to tap into, Hawke. We’re going to find out everything, and I know the answer is sitting in that information. So hold tight and don’t fuck back to that town just yet.”

  *

  He walked out of the office, stopping in the hallway to smack his forehead against the wall. He took in deep breaths, attempting to keep the suspicions of his brother in the middle of this shit-fest at bay.

  Hector wouldn’t.

  He just…wouldn’t.

  He felt a hand on his back, and smelled Emma’s perfume as she moved next to him, rubbing his back.

  “I’ve seen a change in you,” she whispered. “You’ve never come back from that town this shaken up before. Something’s happened, hasn’t it?”

  Hawke stiffened a nod. Tyler happened.

  “You’re going to go back, I know it.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because you can’t keep running away forever. There’s only so much road left until you hit the end.”

  Emma would know. She’d had a hard life.

  He turned his head and looked at her. “How did you know Borden was it?” he asked her, curiously.

  She smiled thoughtfully. “Because as much as I wanted to push him away, he wormed himself inside me. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time, and then…one day it just hit me. His absence made me confront what he meant to me.”

  He didn’t respond to that. His head was too clouded with thoughts of Tyler and how she’d grown before his eyes over the years. He’d taken her presence for granted, determined not to focus on her because he knew how beautiful she was inside and out.

  Emma was right. Now that Tyler was absent from him, the ache was quickly wearing him down.

  If he hadn’t touched her then maybe he would not be so fixated. But…after just one taste, Hawke was hooked.

  Tyler was intoxicating.

  twenty-five

  Tyler

  It’d been five days since Hawke left and Hector wasn’t the same. Everybody sensed it. He was harsher than he was before, and his temper flew at a flip of a switch.

  It didn’t help the cockroaches paid him another visit. Their negotiator Duggard, who was a middle aged man, rugged and suited to take the bikers on, had disrespected Hector in front of everyone by starting the conversation with, “I’ve got a list of orders that you’re going to follow.”

  Orders to the president of the Warlords? Was this fuckhead
serious?

  But Hector, angry as he was, didn’t punish the asshole for disrespecting him. Instead, he appeared conflicted, like he was uncertain of how he was meant to show authority when his answer to everything was violence. So he’d just stiffened a nod and taken Duggard into the meeting room where Gus cursed up a storm outside it, talking about how weak Hector was behind his back.

  Duggard had come out of there a half hour later looking smug, his eyes cheerful, his demeanor laid back and relaxed. He was not in the least intimidated by anyone. In fact, he looked like he owned the place, and it had Marshall boiling in his blood and Jesse itching to tear the cockroach’s face off.

  Everyone was fuming and Hector resorted to breaking a chair in the meeting room apart after he’d gone.

  Since then, Hector spiraled out of control. He was drinking more and following Holly with his eyes like a predator. The poor girl ignored it as much as possible and left work the second her shift was over. Sometimes she’d leave minutes earlier and Hector would ask about her whereabouts and grumble curses when he found out she was gone.

  So he fucked Shay a lot, and Shay was starting to realize she was just warming his bed instead of owning half of it.

  I was enjoying my solitude when she stopped by me to unload.

  “That bitch is stringing him along,” she said darkly. “You need to tell Hector that Holly is a cunt, Ty. Not for me, but for him.”

  “I thought we had this speech about drama,” I replied, genuinely confused as I looked at her sullen face; it was extra orange today. “Like…you were there when I told you that you were creating drama, weren’t you?”

  “This is serious.”

  “You are stirring the pot, dear Shay, and you need to back away before the pot tips and burns you.”

  She gave me a look. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense, Tyler.”

  “Neither does your logic about Holly. She’s done nothing wrong.”

  “I fucking loathe her. I’ll fucking kill her if I have to, I swear.”

  “Now you’re being plain stupid.”

  “But I will.”

  “Stop channeling the inner trailer trash in you.”

  Shay leaned over the bar, staring evenly at me as she retorted slowly, “But she. Is. A. Whore!”

  Eyes descended on us, and I wanted to sucker punch her because – ughhhhhh – I’d really started to have enough of this fucking Hector obsession and Holly bashing. I was just trying to enjoy my fucking drink!

  I glanced around the bar and then leaned forward at her, growling out, “Bitch, you are the one whoring yourself to Hector, not Holly. And you need to be real fucking careful with that mouth because if you start talking this way about killing some waitress to anyone else, your ass is going to be used for a whipping post, and those two holes downstairs? They’re going to be big enough to slide ten sausages through, you feeling me? So keep your fucking. Mouth. Shut!”

  She froze, her eyes bulged, and she stared at me like I’d stabbed her in the heart. “I thought you didn’t care about me,” she whispered.

  What in the fuck? “I don’t.”

  “But you care about my wellbeing like I’m…I’m part of the club too.”

  “Are you taking drugs?”

  Her eyes glistened with tears but she started to laugh, and now I was seriously confused. “You are the golden girl, and the golden girl actually considers me part of the club.”

  “Oh, my god, you are insane.”

  “I love you, Tyler.”

  I groaned, disgusted. “No, Shay, you don’t.”

  She giggled again and slid another beer in front of me. “This one’s on the house, honey.”

  “They’re all on the house.”

  She moved down the bar to serve more drinks, but not before winking at me.

  Oh, lord, my nose tingled something awful. I could smell the pungent reek in the air.

  The smell of drama on the horizon.

  “Hey, you alright?” Jesse asked, sidling up next to me. He grabbed the beer Shay had set in front of me and took a long swig.

  “Yeah,” I replied simply.

  Ever since that conversation in the office about warming his bed, I’d taken a big step back from Jesse. He was my friend – my hot as fuck tailored suit biker friend sure – and I didn’t want to blur the lines. He never brought the topic up again; my guess was because Hawke wasn’t around and he didn’t feel threatened. He acted like everything was normal and still took me to and from work, but…yeah, I was very reserved.

  “Why is Shay hollering at you?”

  “She’s not.”

  He bumped his shoulder against mine. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I’m about to go find Hector –”

  “He’s already in his room.”

  I searched the bar suddenly, and my heart paused when I couldn’t find her. “Holly?”

  “What?”

  I cut my gaze at him. “Is he with Holly?”

  He shook his head, giving me a strange look. “Nah, not Holly. She left already. I didn’t see him with anyone either.”

  Oh, thank God. My shoulders slumped. “Okay, good.”

  “Why good?”

  Because I felt overprotective of Holly lately, and helped smuggle her out of the bar sometimes to avoid Hector.

  Yeah, it’d gotten that bad.

  The more she pushed him away, the more he wanted her.

  Instead of saying any of that, I just shook my head. “No reason.”

  He leaned into me. “So I’m going to the club in a bit and thought you’d wanna tag along.”

  “Not tonight.”

  “If you’re deterred because you think it’ll be just me, let me assure you that most of the others are comin’ along too.”

  My brow rose. “Thought the clubhouse was supposed to be high on security.”

  “We’re doing fine.”

  “Well, I’m staying. Think I’ll order Chinese and flick through some Netflix.”

  He winked. “Netflix and chill?”

  God, no matter how hard I wanted to keep my distance, he couldn’t not put a smile on my face. “No,” I said, fighting back a laugh. “There will be Netflix without the chill.”

  He chuckled, his blue eyes sparkling. “Alright, I’ll crash the couch with you.”

  “Jesse –”

  “There is no hidden agenda, Ty-phoon. I come in peace.”

  I let out a soft sigh and looked at him seriously. “Jesse, I want to be alone.”

  There was a short pause. The kind of pause when someone was processing something. Hurt flashed in his eyes before he covered it up and nodded at me. “Yeah, sure,” he said, trying to sound upbeat. “That’s cool. You can be alone.”

  “You’re not pissed?”

  “Why would I be pissed? I’ll just end up getting wasted and fucking another airhead. Isn’t that what you think I’ll do? What’s new?”

  “Jesse…”

  He began to move and I grabbed at his suit shirt and forced him back to me.

  “Hey,” I said, sharply. “I didn’t mean it like that, alright? I know I came off cold.”

  “You’ve been coming off cold since I told you I wanted you in my bed, Tyler,” he retorted, frowning. “I get that you don’t, alright? I’m not trying to fuck you every time I’m near you, though.”

  My brow rose. “Seriously?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Look, of course I wouldn’t say no if you wanted it, but I respect that you don’t is what I mean. I’m tired of you pushing me away. I want my fucking friend back, not this switched off bitch who looks at me with dread.”

  Now it was my turn to feel wounded. “You…think I’m a bitch?”

  He looked at my expression and sighed hard. “Fuck, goddamn it, Tyler, no. You’re not a bitch. I meant… ugh, fuck, you know what I meant.”

  I didn’t respond.

  He groaned and moved closer to me. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  “I’m sorrier.”
<
br />   “No, that’s fucking stupid, you shouldn’t feel sorry. I’m sorrier.”

  “No, I really am sorrier, Jesse –”

  “Oh, would you guys shut the fuck up with the sorry bullshit!” Marshall hollered. “Fuckin’ migraine just hearing your playground bullshit.”

  I cracked a smile, keeping my eyes on Jesse. “You can crash the couch with me.”

  He smiled back. “Yeah, but I really am horny, though, and I kinda thought I really could lure you in –”

  I smacked him on the shoulder. “I knew it!”

  He laughed. “I’ll see you later, alright?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, yeah.”

  He left sometime later, taking half the guys with him. I spent the evening eating ten pounds’ worth of Beef Chow Mein on the couch. When Jonny came up with a girl, I snarled at him. “Go the fuck away, Jonny. You think it’s easy to disinfect a couch after you?”

  “Calm your fucking tits, Tyler,” he retorted, going back down.

  It was nice being the only girl in the club to have a room to herself.

  Until Hector came out of his room an hour later. He had only his jeans on, and his upper body was exposed. He was the only one to have space between tattoos, and his chest was completely bare. He had a nice body. Lean and muscular, bronze like Hawke, and tall like him too, but not with the same mass as his older brother.

  He looked miserable when he collapsed on the couch next to me, lazily tugging on my ponytail. “Why is it so quiet?” he asked, his voice tired and blank.

  “The guys went out,” I answered.

  Hector frowned. “They went out without even letting me know? Who the fuck is taking care of security?”

  “Jesse said it should be fine.”

  “Is Jesse here?”

  “No.”

  Hector’s eye twitched, his anger palpable now. “They don’t take me seriously, do they? We make meetings, they agree to upping the security around this dump, and they just forget the second they want to party. God!” He groaned, rubbing at his temple. “How the fuck did Hawke do it? They faced two wars, Ty, and he knew what to do every time!”