Hawke

by R. J. Lewis

  “Is everythin’ alright, brother?” he asked him, a note of concern in his tone.

  “I gotta make sure she’s alright,” Hawke answered.

  “Going soft over a girl?”

  “My bottom half is sayin’ hard.”

  Borden chuckled. “You fucking pussy.”

  Hawke cracked a smile.

  “I saw her at the club,” Borden said thoughtfully. “Very pretty girl, Hawke, but she was fucking scared shitless looking at me.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Oh, yeah. I was pretty sure she thought I would add her to one of my mass gravesites or some shit.”

  “That’s something Tyler would think.”

  “Go and see her, Hawke, but don’t leave me for long, alright?”

  “I didn’t think we were an item, Borden.”

  “Fuck you,” Borden retorted. “I’m being serious. You can’t leave me, man. I need you in my life. We’ve been through hell together, huh?”

  “Yeah, you fuckin’ risked your neck to bust me out of prison.”

  “I did that for money. I didn’t even fucking care if you made it at the time. I ain’t talking about that. I’m talking about everything else we’ve been through. I owe you.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So go then and…teach your brother some fuckin’ manners.”

  “Alright, man.” Hawke rubbed his beard, thinking. “You got any new information from your sources, by the way?”

  Borden paused. “It’s not easy. This is a very fucking difficult world to crack into. I ain’t seen something so buried in the underworld this much.”

  “Can you unbury it?”

  “Fuck, man, you unburied my girl once upon a time, I can unbury this.”

  Hawke nodded, grateful. “Thanks, Borden.”

  “See you on the other side.”

  With that, Hector had hung up and jumped on his bike and took off to Norwich. The last thing he had expected was more trouble – more bodies.

  Were they really Abram’s men? He just couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t Abram’s style to do something so fucking stupid, but if he had…

  This would mean war.

  War because his stupid fucking cousin died because he was a crackhead loser.

  Hawke cursed under his breath and scrubbed at the blood. He grabbed Tyler’s pink soap, its fruity smell already hitting his nose, and he barked out a laugh.

  A crazy fucking laugh.

  He’d just killed nine men and here he was, standing in a bathroom with pink shit everywhere, washing blood away so his hands could smell like fruit.

  And then, just like that, his laughter died and he bent over, breathing deeply with his eyes shut to keep the sick bile down his throat.

  Think about it before you block it out, motherfucker.

  He sucked in air, and it sat in his lungs until his chest burned. He let the air out slowly and repeated the process.

  He forced himself to relive every kill, every drop of blood, every look of life bleeding out of every pair of eyes he’d taken tonight.

  Adrenaline shot through him. He sucked the air in and out, until his body started to unwind and his mind had had enough, and those images drifted off to join all the others in nothingness.

  Fingers ran down his back, and he opened his eyes, wondering how long he’d been bent over the sink, breathing it all out of his system. He looked up at the mirror and found Tyler standing behind him, trying to comfort him.

  She met his eyes in their reflection. “Hey,” she whispered, “you okay?”

  No, he wanted to say.

  “I’m alright, babe,” he mumbled instead, feeling exhausted.

  “Turn to me.”

  He did, very slowly. She ran her hand over his face and down his bare torso, wiping away the dried drops of blood with her fingers. It burned wherever she touched, and he watched her intently as she continued.

  “Gotta wash this all off,” she whispered to him.

  She turned from him and started the shower. Then she turned back and began unbuckling his jeans. This was like a role reversal of the first night, her tending to him. The beautiful thing didn’t realize he didn’t need tending to.

  This was just another day in Hawke’s fucked up life.

  After she pulled down the zipper, she tugged his jeans down and then froze.

  Her eyes shot up at him. “Why…” she started, not finishing.

  “Why what?” he pressed. “Why am I hard?”

  She just looked at him, her cheeks reddening. “You did things tonight.”

  “You didn’t see any of it.”

  “You’re looking for a distraction.”

  He moved closer to her, dropping his head down to hers. “Maybe.”

  She looked at his mouth and then his eyes, breathing more heavily as she replied, “You’re not thinking straight, Hawke. I don’t want you to regret anything.”

  She was throwing his words back at him like she’d been analyzing them for days. She probably had too.

  Instead of answering, he grabbed her hand and forced it to his dick. She wrapped her hand around it but didn’t stroke him.

  “Hawke –”

  “You wanna help me right now?” he cut in, his voice hard. “Then squeeze me. Fuckin’ do it, Tyler, because I’m going to lose my mind if you don’t.”

  She must have sensed his need because she squeezed his cock and he hissed sharply, knocking his forehead to hers. “Good, fucking good, Tyler. Start movin’ your hand now.”

  She did.

  Up.

  Down.

  Squeezing around the head.

  Repeating.

  He groaned, moving his hips back and forth to control the pace.

  She was fucking him with her soft little hand, and he grew harder, thicker, just staring at her watching herself pump him. Her other hand crawled up his hard abdomen, feeling his chest, running her fingers over his nipple with this drunk look in her gaze.

  The girl wanted him, but he couldn’t make it decent with this fog in his head.

  Hawke didn’t feel entirely like himself because she was right, he was seeking a distraction. He didn’t want to remember burning bodies, or a face pressed against a bunch of money. He wanted Tyler, and he wanted her mouth wrapped around his dick, sucking him ‘til he came on her tongue.

  Spurred on with pleasure, he grabbed the back of her neck and forced her face to his. Then he kissed that sweet mouth, already parting her lips with his tongue to taste her. She moaned lightly, gripping his cock harder. He groaned back, his other hand grabbing at her tit, squeezing it through her top. She was so fucking sexy, it was killing him with need to be inside her, feeling her walls wrapped around his cock.

  “Fuck, Tyler, you are perfect. Can’t get you outta my head…”

  He saw how fast she was breathing, saw the way she licked her lips when she stared at his cock. He would have easily come, but…fuck, he was too weak to deny her.

  It would be wrong to fuck her.

  He knew that.

  She would hate him later.

  He was certain of that.

  But… he wanted her something fierce. When he grabbed at her top and tore it off, everything – all the bullshit of tonight, the guilt of the past – ebbed away into the background.

  He wanted her.

  She wanted him.

  That was all that mattered.

  The rest was a train wreck for another day.

  The second her top was off, he closed his mouth around her nipple and sucked hard. She squirmed beneath him, sucking air sharply at the sensation. She was so sensitive, he could blow on them and she’d come.

  “Take your shorts off,” he told her, panting.

  She stripped immediately, obedient and eager. He pulled his jeans down and stepped out of them. She was naked and he couldn’t stop his eyes from taking all of her in. He moved back to her, and when he kissed her, it was rougher, more carnal than before. His hand moved between her legs, touching at he
r clit, slowly rubbing circles until she could hardly kiss him back from the pleasure.

  Hawke tried his hardest to maintain the slowness, to not be rough in the way he wanted, and for a few short moments he concentrated on her pleasure, on the way she arched her back as he sucked at her perfect tits.

  And then…

  He saw lifeless eyes, and blood…

  So much fucking blood.

  Nine. Human Beings.

  Monster.

  Monster.

  Mon…

  His heart came up to his throat, and he swallowed the heavy lump. It sank straight to that motherfucking cinderblock in his ribcage.

  “Turn around,” he said hoarsely, unable to keep the ache from his voice.

  He helped turn her around before she could see the look on his face.

  Vulnerability was for the weak.

  It was an emotion that didn’t suit him.

  He just wanted to fuck, not feel like a man trying to run away from his past.

  He should have stopped for real. He should not have put his arm around her, or let his hand slide back to that beautiful bare pussy of hers. He should not have pressed down harder, causing her to buck her ass out to rub against his cock.

  But he did.

  He centered his cock at her entrance and he wanted to enter her. His entire body broke in tremors, primed for it, but…

  He’d be using her.

  Hawke didn’t want to use her. He’d never forgive himself.

  He spun her back around, her wide eyes meeting his.

  “Your hand,” he gritted out, deprived of her tight pussy. “Just your hand, Tyler.”

  Without waiting, her hand wrapped around his cock again, and she pumped him like before, this time her eyes on his, studying him. He wondered if she saw it: his raw desperation to escape, to forget, to feel. Her other hand went to his face and stroked him gently.

  He kissed her again, but it wasn’t out of anger. The adrenaline was strong, but it was contained too. Tyler made it bearable.

  Her tongue sucked at his bottom lip as he tugged hard at her puckered nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He felt hot everywhere and tight…so fucking tight, he could barely move his muscles. He stopped breathing and…

  He came.

  Hard.

  All over her hand, and she still squeezed and thrust his length as he shuddered through the pleasure.

  Only…it wasn’t all pleasure.

  It was disgust too.

  With himself, and what his hands were capable of.

  Even his groan sounded tormented, and she was looking at him like she knew. He couldn’t look back. He moved his face to the side and sucked in air. His chest hadn’t felt this light in a while, and his head…oh, thank fuck, his head was clearing.

  It was a temporary respite, he knew that. But it was better than feeling like a snake had coiled itself around his heart and squeezed.

  “I’m sticky,” he heard her say.

  He looked at her, and she was flaring her nostrils at her hand coated in his come. It was fucking hot, he had to admit.

  “If you were mine, I’d tell you to lick that up,” he said, half-serious, half-amused.

  Ty smiled and rubbed her hand against his torso. “Here, take it all back. When you decide I’m yours, I’ll take it down my throat.”

  You’re already mine.

  He took her hand and gave it a soft kiss, looking at her solemnly as he spoke. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For taking care of me. Distracting me.”

  She looked down at the floor. “Sure.”

  He ran his hand up her neck. “What’s wrong?”

  She pursed her lips. “If it was anyone else standing here, would you have told them to do the same thing? Like Shay, or Holly, or the whores that come walking—”

  He cut her off with another kiss. “Shut up, Ty. I told you to do it. Not anyone else.”

  She stiffened a nod, saying nothing else. He led her inside the shower, and it was a fucking miserable one because it’d been on for-fucking-ever and the hot water was nearly depleted. But he got to clean her, and it made him oddly satisfied.

  Any man would give his left testicle just to touch her, much less rub his come off her flushed skin.

  He knew she was still wanting. He saw her thighs tremble every time he neared, so he brought her to his chest as the spray soaked through them, and he rubbed her to orgasm. She cried and her knees buckled, and he caught her against him, sucking at that beautiful little spot between her neck and shoulder.

  Afterwards, he carried her to bed sopping wet and she curled against him. With half her face pressed against his chest, she fell asleep within minutes.

  Hawke wasn’t so fortunate.

  twenty-nine

  Tyler

  Hawke was still in bed with me when I woke up the next morning. I felt his fingers running down my bare spine. I could hear his strong heartbeats through his chest, and it relaxed me.

  “Are you leaving me?” I pushed out, my throat feeling closed at the thought of him going again.

  “No,” he replied softly.

  I relaxed and ran my hand across his vast chest, unable to resist touching him. His skin was smooth, his abs hard. I took his other hand into mine and kissed along it. I felt him stilling beneath me and his other hand stopped moving.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “It’s my bad hand, babe,” he answered indiscernibly.

  “Then your bad hand deserves more kisses.” I kissed it again, this time over the fleshy scars, his abs tensing as he lifted his head to watch me.

  After a few more kisses, he bunched my hair into his hand and pulled me up to him, capturing my mouth against his. He kissed me for a long time, languidly exploring my mouth, coaxing my tongue against his. He worked me so well, and he knew it.

  “Is it like this for long?” I asked him after he pulled away and my face was level with his.

  “Like what?”

  “Is it this good? Or does it dull with time?”

  He looked at me for a few moments, his tender eyes moving over me. “I don’t think it could ever get dull taking you. You’re stunning, Tyler, and your personality shines.”

  I stifled a laugh. “My personality?”

  “I love it.”

  “Mr Hawke the biker liking me for my personality? No one will buy this.”

  He smirked. “It’s not just your personality.”

  “No?”

  “You’ve got a big ass, that has something to do with it, and your tits are so fucking beautiful, I imagine coming on them at least a dozen times a day.”

  “Charming.”

  “I can be.”

  “They’re small, though.”

  “They’re perfect.”

  My face flushed. “Stop it, you’re making me blush.”

  “I know, and it makes you look deceptively innocent.”

  My brows shot up. “Deceptively?”

  “Mm,” he groaned, that smirk still strong. “You’ve got that girl next door face, but you’ve seen everything under the sun. Learned about sex when you were a preteen, I’m guessing?”

  I giggled, and the sound was so foreign coming out of me. “Try ten.”

  “No.”

  “Yeah.”

  He groaned, this time in dismay. “How?”

  “You don’t want to know that one.”

  “Give me a hint.”

  “Something to do with hiding in closets.”

  He laughed deep in his chest, the rich sound escaping his lips. “Fuckin’ hell, Tyler, why the fuck have we kept you around so long? I don’t get it. So many guys have kids, and they’ve never stepped foot in here.”

  “I’m different.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  He searched my eyes, that content smile reaching them as he agreed on a breath. “Yeah.”

  Feeling warmer than ever, I nuzzled into him, kissing him slowly. My hand roa
med his chest, never getting tired of the bruises and marks along his skin. I could feel his heart beating furiously beneath the palm of my hand as I dipped my tongue against his.

  “You think this will get old with you?” he suddenly whispered, his voice masked as he studied me.

  My fingertips grazed his happy trail and softly brushed along his length, which was already halfway erect. Looking back at him seriously, my eyes bright, my smile real, I replied, “No way.”

  Hawke appeared startlingly vulnerable right then and there, swallowing thickly in his throat as he nodded at my response. Then he grabbed my legs and situated me over top of him, breasts against his chest, legs on either side of him. Both hands travelled down my back, gripping at my bare ass and grinding me against him. He was hard already, the ridge of his cock brushing against my clit. I moaned in his mouth, wet and needy.

  “You are ridiculously responsive,” he murmured.

  “Only because of you.”

  He pulled away, breathing heatedly into my mouth. “You want me, Tyler?”

  I nodded.

  “Sit right up.”

  I did. He grabbed his cock with one hand and gripped my hip, situating me over him. His eyes moved up and down my naked body, tongue sliding along his bottom lip as he brought me down on top of him.

  “Holy shit,” he groaned, watching himself enter me. “Now that’s a fucking beautiful sight, Ty.”

  I stretched around him, and this time his invasion was beyond familiar. He kept me pinned on top of him like that, filling me and not moving. I liked that he did this again, getting me used to his size instead of just bulldozing his way inside of me.

  He teased my nipples, staring up at me with this lazy grin. “Not wonderin’ if I’m inside you?”

  I smiled back. “Fuck no, I feel you everywhere, Hawke. I’ll know where you’ve been hours from now.”

  “Sore from my cock hours from now? I’m really liking the sound of that.”

  His cock pulsed inside of me, proving just how much he liked the sound of that.

  He rubbed at my clit as I began to move, causing me to moan at the flutter of pleasure he brought on. His calloused hands glided up my body, feeling every inch of me with this stark look of awe in his eyes.