Rogue (Phoenix Rising)

by Brynley Blake

  “What? Why? He’s been helping me finish Liam’s bucket list. I don’t need to be saved from Noah. He’s the one who’s saved me.” My voice catches on the last words, as I realize the truth behind them. Yes, Liam’s list opened my eyes to being more daring, but it’s Noah who made me unafraid, who showed me how to be fearless and uninhibited and finally free.

  Walker and the other man exchange a glance. “It’s called Stockholm syndrome,” Walker explains. “It’s not unheard of for hostages to develop feelings for their captors.”

  “I wasn’t a hostage! Didn’t you send him to watch out for me?”

  Walker shakes his head.

  “But he’s a Navy SEAL.”

  “No, Kenzie, he’s not.”

  His words hit me like a blow. Surely there’s some explanation.

  “Look, I’ll explain everything, but first I’m going to get you a bottle of water, and you’re going to drink it and sit your cute little ass in a chair. You look like you’re about to faint.”

  I roll my eyes. Not him, too! Now that I’ve had some experience with Noah, I can spot a dominant guy from a mile away. He pales in comparison to Noah, though. Still, I always wondered why Walker and Gemma never hooked up. He’s undeniably attractive, with his dark, close-cropped hair, perpetual scruff, chiseled jaw, and even more chiseled abs.

  I obediently sit down and take the water bottle, surprised at how thirsty I am. Walker and the other man exchange a few words, but I can’t make out what they’re saying, and then the man leaves and Walker and I are alone. Walker comes back over and sits down across from me at the small table. We’re in a hotel room, it seems, and I look expectantly, and probably a little belligerently, at Walker. I know Noah, and he would never hurt me. Walker must be wrong.

  As if reading my mind, Walker says, “Try to keep an open mind, okay? You know you’re like a little sister to me. I have no ulterior motives. I care about you, Kenzie. Liam always told me to take care of you if anything happened to him, and I don’t take that promise lightly.”

  I sigh, knowing it’s true. Liam and Walker have been friends since they were in BUD/S training together. In fact, it was Walker who introduced me to his best friend, Gemma, when Charlotte and I were looking for a third roommate at Wake Forest. Since then, he’s become a friend and a second brother to me, and I know that, other than Liam, there’s no one I can trust more.

  “Okay. Tell me.”

  “Noah Payne used to be a Navy SEAL,” Walker explains. “An outstanding one from all accounts. After a year or two in Afghanistan, his team was sent to the west coast of Mexico as part of America’s war on drugs. The official line was they were training Mexican troops to fight the drug cartels, but rumor is Payne had been ordered to take out Francisco Dominguez, who headed up the leading drug cartel at the time.

  “Something happened… There was some sort of leak and Dominguez, or El Jefe, as he’s known, found out about it, and fingered Payne. He killed Payne’s wife and daughter.”

  I nod. So far, Walker’s not telling me anything I don’t already know.

  “After that, Noah went a little crazy. Understandably,” he concedes. “No one knows exactly what happened in El Jefe’s camp, but at the end of it, Payne’s wife and daughter were dead and Payne wasn’t the man, or the soldier, he was before. He was given a leave of absence, which his CO had to force him to take because he insisted he didn’t need it. When he was finally deemed psychologically able to return to work, he was assigned to a new team that deployed back to the Middle East, not Mexico.

  “That didn’t sit well with Noah. He wanted revenge, and he wanted to go back to Mexico, but a SEAL can’t be ruled by his emotions. It’s a recipe for disaster for himself and his team. He apparently indicated his strong preference to go back.” One corner of Walker’s lips tilt up in a lopsided smile at the understatement, and I can imagine exactly how that conversation went. Noah likes to get what he wants.

  “Not only was he denied his request, but he was told he’d never be assigned to Mexico again. It was too dangerous.” Walker sits back and stretches his long legs out in front of him. “So he quit as soon as his time was up. Disappeared for a while, and then he went rogue. For the last few years, he’s worked on the other side of the law for El Gato, the head of the most prominent Mexican drug cartel—La Frontera.” Walker shakes his head. “It’s a damn shame. Noah Payne was legendary. I heard so many stories about him, it was hard to believe what was truth and what had been embellished. But there’s no doubt he was one of the best Navy SEALs to serve.”

  I stare at Walker blankly. He can’t be talking about the Noah I know, the one who calls me baby and ignites my skin with his touch and devours my whimpers with his mouth sealed to mine. The one who saved a little girl and is haunted by the belief that he killed his wife and daughter. The Noah I know couldn’t work for a drug cartel.

  “There’s something else.” Walker is studying me intently. “I’ve been looking into the rumors that Liam was gunrunning—illegally selling arms to La Frontera.”

  I nod, my heart in my throat, not sure I want to hear what I’m afraid Walker’s going to say. “Do you think it’s true? Do you think he’d really sell illegal weapons to the Mexican cartel?”

  He sighs. “My gut reaction is of course not. I know Liam like I know myself, and in addition to being like a brother to me, he was also one of the most honorable soldiers I’ve ever served with. But he’d always had a little bit of a wild, rebellious streak, and the further I dig, the more evidence I find that the rumors could be true.”

  “Like what?” I simply can’t believe that my big brother, the one I looked up to and idolized forever, would have sold guns illegally to a drug cartel.

  He answers my question with one of his own. “Did Liam leave behind any money? Maybe a significant amount—more than he would make as a Navy SEAL?”

  “Yes.” It hurts to utter the single syllable. I knew all along something was fishy about the unexpected sum of money, but I’d blindly refused to even consider that it could have anything to do with Liam doing something illegal. I still think there’s got to be some other explanation. There has to be. I know Liam, and he would never have done something like this. Maybe, like I wondered aloud to Noah, it came from the aid worker Liam saved. But the look on Walker’s face makes it clear what he thinks, and I feel slightly betrayed. “You think it’s drug money? Payment for guns?”

  Walker nods.

  “But why? You know Liam. You said yourself it’s not like him. Although he’d been different lately. And he’d been talking about getting out of the SEALs…” I trail off.

  Walker covers my hand with his. “McKenzie, Liam was a good man. The best. If he was doing this, I’m sure he had his reasons. I know your parents both died pretty close to each other, and your mom was sick for a few years before she died. Cancer treatment is expensive. Was there a lot of debt?”

  “Yes.” It hurts to admit, but I’d let Liam handle all of that, and I’d been shocked at how much he’d gone into debt taking care of her.

  “It doesn’t matter now. I heard NCIS was investigating it, and I’d hoped to clear his name before they nailed him. Who knows, maybe the navy will quietly close the case and let him die a hero. But if not, you and I and everyone who really knew Liam knows the kind of man he was, and that’s all that matters.”

  He’s right. Even if there was insurmountable evidence proving Liam had done this, I wouldn’t love him any less. But Liam’s character was the most important thing to him, and I don’t intend to have him die with his record marred. “I want to get to the bottom of it and clear his name,” I maintain stubbornly.

  Walker nods. “Me too. But the important thing right now is making sure you stay safe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Gemma told me about some guys with guns shooting at you in Costa Rica.”

  I nod. “At the time, I thought I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But now I’m not so sure. What did Gemma say?
”

  “She was worried about you after you told her what happened. She asked me to look into it. I figured while I did, it wouldn’t hurt to put a little security detail on you to make sure if it was true, they didn’t try again.

  “That’s when I realized you had effectively disappeared. No phone service, no spending, no trace of you at all after you checked out of the hotel in Coron. That got me worried! I contacted the sailing charter that Gemma said you had booked to take you through the Philippines, but they said you’d cancelled the trip. So I flew to Coron and went to the marina to see if anyone had seen you.”

  Cancelled the trip? “Manuel, the guy who runs the marina, could have told you I went with Noah.”

  “There’s no one named Manuel at the marina, Kenzie. The owner said an American guy had paid him an exorbitant amount of money to rent him the entire marina for a few days. His only instructions were that everyone had to vacate the premises for forty-eight hours, and spread the word that if an American woman tried to hire them, he’d pay double whatever she offered if they refused.”

  I feel sick at my stomach. “How did you find me?”

  “I made Gemma tell me everything she could possibly think of that might be helpful. She told me what she knew about your trip to Costa Rica and the bucket list and a guy named Noah who you met in Vegas.”

  I feel the heat rise in my face. But Walker continues, nonplussed. “I tracked down the records of all of the boats sailing out of Coron the day you were supposed to leave. When I found a boat named the Kairos piloted by an American named Noah Payne, I had a hunch I was on to something. As luck would have it, a man by the same name had stayed at the Wynn on the exact same dates you were there. I know there are no coincidences. You should know that, too.”

  “But it was obvious he was a SEAL, and Manuel confirmed it. I thought he was safe…” I trail off, realizing that Noah had probably planted Manuel at the marina to help convince me he was trustworthy.

  “A rogue SEAL isn’t a Navy SEAL. He lied to you. Here’s the proof, if you don’t believe me.”

  He hands me a folder, and I thumb through it listlessly. Sure enough, there’s Noah’s face, and his discharge papers dated three years ago.

  “He used you, Kenzie. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t understand. If he isn’t a SEAL and you didn’t send him to watch out for me, why did he travel halfway across the world to give me back Liam’s bucket list when I’d accidentally left it in his room in Vegas? Why did he offer to help me?”

  “Apparently El Gato had paid Liam for a huge shipment of guns, but Liam died before he could deliver them. He thinks you know where the guns are.”

  My throat is hot and sore from choking back the tears of hurt and betrayal that are threatening to spill. But if I cry now, one raindrop’s going to unleash the whole fucking storm. “Why would he think that?”

  “Gemma said you’ve been trying to complete Liam’s bucket list. And that he’d even added some things more recently.”

  I nod.

  “I’ve heard that El Gato is going on the assumption that Liam’s bucket list is a map of sorts to where the guns are hidden.”

  I’m silent for several long minutes as I process everything Walker’s said. I don’t even know I’m crying until Walker’s wrapping his arms around me and saying, “Shhh. It’s going to be okay.”

  …

  An hour later, I’ve cried until I’m out of tears and left with those big shuddering breaths you get after crying the tears of a broken heart. Now I just feel numb. And determined to never let someone into my heart again. I’m also firmly resolved to finish Liam’s bucket list with Walker’s help, find the guns, and clear Liam’s name. Maybe if I can focus on that, I’ll forget about Noah, and how I thought he loved me.

  But we need a plan.

  “Have you eaten?” Walker asks. When I hedge, remembering Noah and I had decided to wait to have dinner on Sipadan where we could watch the sunset and enjoy more than just dinner together, he insists on going downstairs and getting me a sandwich.

  “You’ll feel better after you eat. And,” he scolds, his voice taking on that dominant tone I’ve grown accustomed to over the last week, “you need to take care of yourself.” I wonder for about the fifth time how I never recognized Walker was so alpha and dominant. And, I think with a pang, I’ll never be on the receiving end of that treatment again.

  While Walker’s downstairs, I wash my face, determined to wipe away the proof of Noah’s heartbreak. I apparently picked the wrong day to wear mascara.

  There’s a knock at the door and, imagining Walker’s hands full with food and drinks from the bar downstairs, I open it. A man I don’t recognize is standing in the doorway. He’s got close-cropped dark hair that reminds me of someone in the military, but while I’m used to the hard-edged and imposing demeanor of my brother, his SEAL brothers, and even Noah, there’s something chilling about this man. I take an instinctive step backward, intent on closing the door, but he blocks it with his foot, and I feel the snout of a gun press against my rib cage as he grabs my elbow.

  “Do exactly as I say and you might stay alive.” His accent is undeniably American, with the clipped, nasal tone of someone from the northeast. “Fight me at all, and I’ll put a bullet through you. Do you understand?”

  Fear hits me squarely in the gut. I know without a doubt that he will do exactly as he says. When Walker grabbed me in the bathroom, everything happened so fast, I didn’t have time to panic. Even in the trunk of the car, when I had time to think, I’d kept the panic at bay because I knew I had Noah, and that he would find me and keep me safe. Now I have no such delusions. Noah is apparently just as bad as the man standing in the doorway with a gun shoved under my shirt. For all I know, Noah hired this guy to accomplish what he couldn’t, finding the guns that Liam supposedly hid somewhere. But still…something about this man, and this situation, is causing the hairs on my arms to stand up. I feel my breath shorten and my chest begin to close as the cyclone of panic starts to pull me down into its vortex.

  Screw that. Fear is an old friend of mine now. I know how to walk with it without letting it lead the way. I have jumped off a waterfall, sailed the Philippines, held a loaded gun, saved myself and a little girl from a deadly current in a pitch-black cave, embraced the darkness within me, and given myself wholly and completely to a gorgeously sexy man who is as dangerous as the devil himself. Noah’s words echo in my head. It takes downright fearlessness to let yourself go and to offer yourself to another, not knowing where they’ll take you. I think of the things he demanded of me, and the things I gave him. I’m not fragile, but strong and durable. I’m a fucking badass.

  I think about our conversation about overcoming fear, and Noah’s tips for crossing the threshold when you’re afraid. Don’t think about what might happen. Shut out the doubt and negativity. Be comfortable with the uncomfortable. Act and then react.

  I push aside my fears. The man could have shot me when I opened the door, but he didn’t. I still have a chance to get away. If I can stall long enough, Walker will come back.

  I nod slowly.

  The man hands me a black blindfold. “Put this on.”

  With trembling fingers, I place it over my eyes, taking as long as possible. He rams the gun into my side. “Hurry up.”

  Before I realize what’s happening and can react, he’s gripped my wrists and secured them with zip ties, so tightly that the plastic is digging painfully into my skin. I mentally chastise myself for not taking the three seconds I had without a gun pointed at me to run.

  He wraps something soft loosely around my wrists, covering the zip ties. “We’ll go out the back and hopefully avoid running into anyone. But just in case, paste a smile on your face and act like we’re two lovers on a kinky little adventure. You should be good at that. You won’t even have to act,” he adds snidely. Oh God. He’s been watching me? How? I remember the plane and shudder.

  The door closes behind me as he propels me d
own the hallway, the gun firmly pressed into my side and his fingers digging into my skin. I’ll have bruises tomorrow, if I live that long.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Noah

  I wait five, and then ten minutes for McKenzie to finish in the restroom. After fifteen minutes, I’m starting to get impatient. The bus leaves in ten minutes, and if we miss this one, there’s not another one until tomorrow. Which, come to think of it, wouldn’t be the end of the world. We could get a hotel, or go back to the Kairos and…

  It’s taken her too damn long, and there’s a prickle of apprehension at the back of my neck. I stride over to the ladies’ room and knock sharply several times. When I don’t get an answer, I push the door open. There’s no one inside. The bathroom is completely empty, with no sign whatsoever of McKenzie. It’s like she wasn’t even here.

  Fuck! I slam my hand against the battered metal stall door, startling a woman who had come in behind me. She quickly turns and scurries back out.

  Cursing myself for letting McKenzie out of my sight even to go to the restroom when I knew someone was trying to kill her, I try to stay calm. I ask around the bus station to see if anyone saw a blonde American woman in the restroom or leaving it. But no one has seen anything.

  There are a dozen buses lined up outside, and for a moment, I consider that she could have been forced onto one and be well on her way across the island by now. But although the waiting area is open-air, I think I would have seen her if she’d come this way. There must be another way out. I go back to the restrooms, which are located in the back. Sure enough, around the corner from the restroom is a door that leads into an alley behind the shops of the square.

  I see a man sweeping several doors down.

  “Did you see a woman leave about fifteen minutes ago? Maybe with someone?”

  I don’t believe for a second she would have left of her own free will. And I’m terrified that whoever has been trying to kill her might succeed this time.

  The man lowers his eyes, but not before I see fear, and recognition, in them.