by Tiana Laveen
I shouldn’t smile… but this is baaaad! Look at this ride. My boyfriend gotta car! Oh my God.
“Tony, I swear to Heaven and back that if you’re involved in something that you shouldn’t be, you’ll be outta my house before your damn head can spin!” Mrs. Romano yelled. He stood by her door like some soldier on the front line, but his mother refused to give up the good fight. “You gave me thirty dollars last week, and twenty before that.”
Cassidy couldn’t much blame the woman for being suspicious of the whole deal. She was doing the same.
“Yeah? So what? Be grateful. I’m not doin’ anything wrong, I promise.” Walking to his mother, he slid his hand around her neck and kissed her forehead, then he got in the car. Mrs. Romano just kept standing there, her eyes mere slits as she mean-mugged him. Her long, dark green dress blew in the wind, making her a vision to behold. Mrs. Romano was attractive, but didn’t seem to fuss much over herself. She wore minimal makeup, but always kept her nails done; they were long and shiny, painted in festive colors. Tony had her dimples, nose, and mouth. She surmised he must have his father’s eyes.
He started the car and rolled the window down.
“Cars don’t grow on trees! It didn’t just fall from the sky! Do you have insurance?”
Tony cackled and shook his head as he put the car in reverse, but kept his foot on the brake.
“Yeah, Mom… took care of everything. Dante helped me.” He looked at Cassidy and chuckled. “My mom is insane,” he whispered. Cassidy wanted to grab his handsome face and kiss all over it, paying special attention to his deep dimples, lavishing them with the affection they so deserved. “You need to adjust your seat or anything? Are you comfortable?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She placed her bookbag on the floor and put on her seatbelt.
“Be careful! It’s not just you in the car… I know how ya like to show off. Cassidy, don’t let him do anything stupid, please! Tony’s gonna put me in an early grave!”
“I won’t, Mrs. Romano!”
Before long, they were on the road and he was fiddling with the cassette player. ‘Head to Toe’ by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam came through the speakers.
“Ohhh, I love this song!” she squealed. “This is my jam!”
“I know you do.” He winked at her and took her hand, steering the wheel with the other. “I’m giving you the tape after I play it. I bought it for you from my brother. They’d just got a big box in of all the Billboard top 100 music.”
“Awww! That’s nice. Thank you!” He smiled so wide and proud, she wanted to burst out laughing at his expression, but kept it in. “Uh, Tony, you said you’d have a surprise for me in the morning, but I didn’t expect this. Where’d you get this car from and don’t give me that same song and dance you gave your mother? I want the truth.”
“Fred.”
“Fred?! That old ass nasty geezer that be sellin’ meat, Oriental paper fans and bootleg movies ’nd shit?!”
“Yeah. I work for him. Keep that to yourself all right?”
“You gotta be kiddin’ me!” She jeered forward in shock. “I told Maize not to involve you in that mess! I told him that—”
“Damn, baby!” he hissed. “I thought you’d be happy?! Didn’t you hear my mother just chew me out? I don’t need you chewing me out, too!”
“Tony, you don’t understand… I mean, I applaud Maize’s hustle and at least he ain’t sellin’ drugs, but Fred sells things he ain’t supposed to be sellin’ sometimes. He ain’t all the way on the up and up. He tried to have one of his runners sell my Grandmama some used pantyhose one time.” She couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose in disgust when she thought back on it. “I never see you ’round here doing runs.”
“I go out the area. I do the White areas mainly, a few trips a week.”
“All this time you’ve been doing runs? How? This is the first I’ve seen of this car.”
“I was borrowin’ one of his at night or way early in the mornings before school. I been driving sometimes like an hour away. I get tipped well, too. Sometimes the tips are bigger than the payout. Nothin’ illegal… no alcohol yet. Just fruit drinks, boxes of cereal for some of their stores, amateur porno movies every now and again, shit like that.”
“Promise me you won’t transport no weed or alcohol, Tony.”
He ran his hand down his face, as if he were buying time. She slapped the side of his shoulder with all of her might as her dander flew up.
“OUCH! Fuck, Cass!”
“Promise me, Tony!”
“You’re havin’ a cow over something that isn’t a big deal. Chill out!”
“No, I have a real reason for bein’ concerned. You hard headed, you know that?”
“You really are somethin’!” His eyes grew dark; a chill crept up her back and spread outward, filling the whole damn car. “I’m sorry that I no longer fit your high standards. Jesus!” He rolled his eyes. “Making all these sorts of demands and we haven’t even had sex yet! You haven’t given it up. What other guy would wait on ya indefinitely, huh? All we do is grind, kiss, and make out. I get to finger you and suck your tits a few times a fuckin’ week. Whoop tee fuckin’ doo! If I’m lucky, you rub my dick every now and again over my pants. I gotta jerk my shit to get all the frustration out, and I’m sick of it! I want some pussy, Cassidy! I have needs!”
Her eyes bucked, but her tongue was tied. He’d never yelled at her before, she was completely taken aback. “I got you all that nice shit for your birthday, still no sex. I treat ya well, no sex. Take ya out to eat and to the movies, no sex. I haven’t pressured you about it, but still no sex. Ya been holdin’ out for fuckin’ ever, Cass! I never bring it up but now I must, because apparently this is the thanks I get. Most guys would’ve bounced by now.”
Her shock soon turned to an inferno of unadulterated rage.
“Are you finished? I’m glad the truth came out and you had a good time gettin’ that off your chest, Tony!”
“At least one part of me is gettin’ off…”
Smart ass.
“What does sex have to do with you workin’ for a slimy old fool?! You think Fred is generous out the kindness of his crusty heart? He’s not. Fred don’t give a shit about you, Maize, E.T., T.J., none of y’all.”
“Maize has never been to jail or anything over it and he’s been doing it for over a year. See? You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He rolled his eyes as he pulled up to a red light.
“Maize is used to these streets. You are a new jack! What if somebody think you soft and try tuh stick you up? What if they assume, ’cause you White, that you can’t fight? You can’t beat up everyone, Tony. One day, you gonna meet your match. That’s been happening at school and it didn’t slow down ’til Maize came in the picture.”
“…And I busted Joseph’s fuckin’ head in, now didn’t I? The shit has officially stopped now, with or without Maize’s help.”
He had a point, but she refused to give it to him. A few weeks prior, a bully named Joseph, with his big self, tried to shake Tony down for some money. It happened in the hallway in school and within minutes, word got around that Joseph was taken to the damn hospital, blood all over his face and his brain swelling. This time, Tony didn’t get in trouble. A hall monitor saw that Joseph had instigated the whole thing.
“That’s beside the point.”
“WHAT IS YOUR POINT THEN, CASS?! FUCK! I gotta listen to my mother scream and holler and blame me for her entire miserable existence. My brother has been sick, missing work. I got a bunch of fucking problems and now you’re becoming one of them. I don’t need this shit!”
“You wanna get mad at me because I care?! Fine!” Her voice shook, and she hated it. He’d turned so mean, so cold… He was no longer listening. He was stabbing the air, her, and everything in his way with his words. She could feel the budding tears as he dramatically rolled his eyes, leaned to the side like some gangster, and turned the wheel slow as they made their way to the school parking
lot.
“This… this isn’t right. It’s our first argument and, uh, it sucks.” He took a deep, audible breath and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry for bringing up the sex stuff, Cass,” he said with a sigh, his gaze averted. “It’s just that I did this partially for you, okay?” He tossed her a glance as he moved about, looking for a place to park. “I’m tired of you walking to school and cars pullin’ over askin’ dumb shit like how much you charge. It’s not right… that shouldn’t even be happening to you. What if you run into a guy that can’t take rejection and he forces you into his car at gunpoint, huh? It’s not out of the question.” She looked down into her lap. “A buncha perverts tryna fuck my girl. If something happened to you… man, you just don’t know… I’d lose it, Cass. I would lose my entire damn mind.”
She swallowed and wiped away a tear from her eye with her knuckle.
“I love you,” he said.
She slowly turned towards him and smiled. He’d never said that to her before.
“I love you, too.”
“I know you do. You’re the first girl I ever loved, Cass. I’m serious. That’s why I’d do anything for you, Angel eyes. Look, I’ve got a plan, all right? You think I’m going to be droppin’ off frozen collard greens, incense, and cologne forever? No. This is for us, baby! This is for my family. Me and my brother have to help my mom. She never asked for help, but she needs it. Dante wants to go to trade school.”
He pulled into a parking space. Several students turned to look at his new ride, pointing and ogling.
“My mom needs to stop working two jobs. It’s killing her and she needs a new car, too. I’m trying to get her one right now, actually. Trying to work out a deal with Fred’s mechanic for a Buick.” He turned off the engine.
“You need more school supplies and clothes,” he continued. “You needed to take one of my notebooks just last week and a set of pens. Your grandmother’s little check from your deceased grandfather workin’ all those years ago barely keeps her bills paid. I want Grandmama to not have to worry anymore.” His voice cracked as he looked at her with love in his eyes. “She’s my grandmama, too! She cooks for me,” he said, counting off his fingers, “asks me how I’m doing, sends food over to my house for me, my mom and brother, talks to me like a human being. She also badgers me to go to church with y’all.”
Cassidy chuckled, then sniffed away more tears as she gripped his hand.
“She means well.”
“I know she does. We got needs, baby,” he said softly, leaning in for a kiss. I’m not trippin’ about the sex, okay? I was just mad… I’m not worried about it because I know it will happen eventually. I said something I didn’t mean after promising you I wouldn’t do that. Anyway.” He sighed. “I made enough these past few weeks to get this car, and this is going to help all of us. Now, Grandmama doesn’t have to walk to the grocery store or take the bus to the doctor. I can take her. Dante can borrow it when I’m not usin’ it to get to work. This wasn’t a want. This was a need.”
She nodded in understanding.
“I get it.” She grabbed her bookbag and placed it on her lap. “Just be careful, Tony.”
“I will,” he said.
“What’s your plan for you? You mentioned everyone else… but what about yourself, baby?”
“I’m gonna get the fuck out of here, Cass. I can’t stay here forever—this is not for me. I want to go to art school and become a top illustrator either in Cali, Jersey, or New York… And I’m takin’ you with me.” She smiled at his words. “As smart as you are, you can go to a top college of your choice. I just know it. You’re an honor roll, straight A student. I know you said you want to go to college. That’s important and I’d help support your dreams any way I can. After that, we can get an apartment together and get married…”
She dropped her bookbag to the floor and hugged him so tight, kissed his face, elated… filled with immeasurable joy.
Right then, everything felt like a page ripped out of one of her many paperback, dog-eared romance books, page by delicious, heart-pounding page…
Tony was the dream boyfriend. In the books, he rivaled the dream husband who arrived on the big stallion to save his damsel in distress, but in this case, it was a Honda Accord and she didn’t need rescue… but she did need love. Tony fit the bill. He was good-looking, suave, smart, funny, resourceful. A born hustler with a good heart.
He cut off the engine, got out of the car, and opened her door. A group of girls paused to watch, their eyes nearly popping out of their head.
“Heeeey, Tony!” one of them said, waving in his direction.
You trifling ass heffa…
“Hey, Monica.” He smiled and waved back. A pang of jealousy filled Cassidy. Monica was a well-known ho, and she was sneaky. Worst of all, she was popular and pretty with her long, curly hair and big ass titties. However, she was dumb as a box of rocks and kept shit going on a daily basis—a queen instigator. She and Danica had gotten into several brawls in the past over little stuff, but who hadn’t Monica got into it with?! Cassidy couldn’t stand her… wasn’t certain she’d even spit on the girl if she were on fire.
Tony took her hand, and she swallowed down the sticky emotions. Monica kept on staring, a look of envy in her dark brown, almond-shaped eyes. Cassidy smirked as she walked past the group of bitches, gloating when he released her hand and slid his hand around her waist, pulling her in close to him. Hooking his finger under her chin, he turned her head and pressed his soft, lovely lips to hers, kissing her with the passion of a million lovers from romance books throughout time. He then slapped her ass and she giggled before they were once again holding hands and walking away.
Mmm hmmm, how d’ you like that, Monica? STEP OFF, HO!
…Several months later
BAM! BAM! BAM!
“I’m almost finished. Fuck off, Tony. Where’s the fire at?”
“I’m gonna be late for school, Dante! Come on! I can’t be late. You’ve been in there for over thirty minutes. What are ya doing? Jerkin’ off? Hurry up!” Tony yelled outside the bathroom door before banging on it once again. Dante was taking his sweet damn time now that Mom had left for work.
Tony stood there in his white underwear, a gold chain wrapped around his neck, and a hankering to kick his brother’s ass. Mom had complained that money was missing out of her purse that morning, and Dante didn’t even stick up for him when she blamed him for it. He hadn’t taken it, but figured neither Dante nor his mother would believe him since he’d done it once when he was nine to buy some baseball cards. Regardless, Dante had been acting strange as of late, barely talking and hardly home still, which was odd since he’d lost his job and was on the hunt for a new one.
Finally, the door swung open and the steam from the shower bellowed out. Dante’s already thin frame looked impossibly thinner; so much so, Tony could see the guy’s ribs.
He looks like a fuckin’ carcass… like one of those starvin’ kids on T.V. with all the flies around their face…
“What are you lookin’ at?” Dante asked while wrapping a thick white towel around his naked body.
“Your fuckin’ chest, man… What happened? It’s like a bird’s.” Tony’s vision narrowed on his brother’s prominent collarbones then his bony elbows. The dark circles under his eyes were worse than ever.
“I think I had the flu last week.” Dante abruptly brushed past him and headed to his bedroom. “I’ll get my weight back.” The guy closed then locked his door. Tony stepped in the bathroom and brushed his teeth while humming the tune to ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us’, by Starship. When he turned on the faucet, the water shot out at an angle. A thick white crust coated the spigot, calcification in terrible need of removal.
I’m gonna remove this tomorrow. If it doesn’t come off, might as well buy a new faucet. I’m sure I can repair it myself.
He spit into the sink, shut the water off, then made his way over to the toilet. He reached to lift the lid to take a piss, but noticed
a powdery substance embedded in the furry pink toilet bowl cover. Reaching down, he ran his finger against the residue.
Might be Mom’s baby powder…
He brought his finger to his nose and sniffed.
“Shit. This isn’t baby powder… I don’t know what the hell this is.”
Shrugging it off, he lifted the lid, jerked down his underwear, and relieved himself. He fell into a daydream as he stared at the toothpaste-spattered mirror, the half-empty bottle of Listerine, a box of mom’s fucking period pads, and a home decorating magazine. His gaze met the floor as he figured out his schedule for the day, brainstorming while he drained the main vein…
Cass said she wants to go to the mall so I need to drive her over there sometime today after school to pick up that shirt she wanted… I have two drop offs for the wine that one guy wanted. I gotta get my math homework done, too. I owe Maize ten dollars… I’ll take care of that today.
He shook his dick then paused. By the side of the toilet, on the floor, appeared to be a rolled-up dollar. He flushed the toilet, grabbed the money, and looked at it closely.
It’s rolled like a cigar… must’ve fallen outta Mom’s or Dante’s pocket. He felt something gritty on his fingertips.
He slowly unrolled it and noticed more of the same white powdery substance inside the bill. He stood there dumbfounded for several seconds…
“Shit!” He hurriedly pulled up his underwear, opened the bathroom door, and stormed to Dante’s bedroom. “OPEN THA FUCKIN’ DOOR, DANTE!”
“I’m gettin’ dressed! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling?”
“OPEN THIS GOTDAMN DOOR BEFORE I BREAK IT THA FUCK DOWN!” Tony rammed his shoulder into the door, over and over, his adrenaline and anger merging and creating a monster within.
The door swung open and Dante appeared wild-eyed, his small bedroom a wreck.
“What the hell is wrong with you this morning? I outta beat the shit outta you, Tony!”
“Shut up! You shut tha fuck up!” Tony screamed, his voice cracking as angry tears filled his eyes. “Now it all makes sense! The missin’ clothes from my closet, the missin’ money outta Mom’s purse, my empty piggy bank, you losing your job all of a sudden after being employee of the damn month forever! You’re on that shit!” He thrust a finger in his brother’s face.