Gumbo

by Tiana Laveen

  “That’s good that she finally realized you’d be a better guardian.”

  “Yes, it made things easier for everyone involved. I didn’t want to have no little baby all day, every day, back in the house. Sometimes, God has other plans. Cassidy came to me bundled up, lookin’ so pretty, but her clothes were too small. She’d been neglected; nothin’ fit her right. She had cradle cap. Do you know what that is?”

  “No.”

  “It’s not nothin’ unusual, just some babies’ skin and hair peel and fall off after ‘while, but you gotta keep that scalp moisturized. There were big flakes all in Cassidy’s pretty black curls. It was so bad, I had to cut a lot of her hair off. She was a little underweight, too.” She shook her head. “I ended up making her some little outfits with my sewing machine, then I went down to the thrift store and bought a bunch of nice thangs for the baby.

  “Despite all of that, I told my daughter she could come and visit anytime. Just ’cause I had legal custody didn’t mean I was tryna be that baby’s mama… she already had one. Well, at first my daughter did, but then those visits faded away until I ain’t see her no more. She and her boyfriend moved outta that apartment and were gone without so much as a goodbye. From what I was told, they moved down to Miami. Every blue moon I’d get a call from my daughter askin’ how Cassidy was, but she ain’t never tell me where she was, what she was doin’, nothing. I ain’t spoke to or seen either one of them since Cassidy was almost two years old. I couldn’t tell you where my daughter is if my life depended upon it.” She sighed. “So that’s all there is to it, Tony. Cassidy knows that same story, forwards and backwards.”

  Grandmama got up from the table, her hips swaying back and forth with each step as she made her way back to the stove. She picked up a large wooden spoon and stirred the pot real slow, clockwise, then counter clockwise like some magic potion.

  His heart brimmed with sorrow… not for himself, but for Cassidy.

  “Come on ova here, Tony.” He got up from his seat and stood beside her, looking into the pot. Succulent, plump shrimp, tender chunks of chicken, thick slices of sausage, and an assortment of vegetables bobbed around inside the big metal pot. Aroma infused steam wafted towards his face, and his mouth instantly watered. “Taste it. Tell me what you think.” Grandmama dipped the spoon into the mélange of flavors, then drifted it towards his mouth. He opened wide, and closed his eyes as the flavorful concoction hugged his taste buds. He begrudgingly swallowed… he longed to keep it in his mouth and savor it but all good things must come to an end.

  “I’ve never tasted anything like that before in my life. It’s incredible.”

  She smiled big and wide, then placed the lid back over the pot.

  “That’s good. It’ll be ready in just a few mo’e minutes.”

  He handed her back the spoon, and she turned to wash it in the sink. He quickly took that opportunity to slide a folded ten-dollar bill alongside the cookie jar. He was certain she’d never accept it, so this was his way of doing it on the low.

  Just then, he heard the front door open, then the lock turned three times. Cassidy walked over, her bag full of books. She paused in her tracks, then smiled.

  “Oh… Tony. I wasn’t expecting you here.” He went around the small table and gave her a hug and a kiss. When he turned around, Grandmama was eyeing them.

  “Yeah, I just, uh, wanted to make sure you were okay and then Grandmama told me I could stay for dinner.” He slid his palms up and down his jeans.

  “Well, cool. Just give me a minute to wash my hands. I’ll be right back.” Cassidy disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the two alone once again. He sat down back at the table and heard the kitchen sink water come on.

  “Tony?”

  “Yes, Grandmama?”

  “If you ever need to talk to somebody, you let me know, all right? Anything at all. It’s hard, ’specially for boys sometimes, to talk about troubling things on their mind. I’ve been strict sometimes with Cass, but she know she can talk to me ’bout anything, or at least, I hope she does.” He swallowed. “My do’e is always open.”

  Did she know about what was happening under his own roof? He hadn’t told a soul…

  “Okay, thanks for uh… thanks for that.”

  “You’re welcome. You know, you and Cass are kinda like this here gumbo.”

  “Really?” He chuckled. “How so?” He figured Grandmama was going to make a joke about him being pink like the shrimp and Cass being brown like the sausage—something silly like that.

  “You both saw the good flavors in each other and became fast friends. She’s the broth and seasonings, carryin’ you along, soothing you with her gentle nature. You the meat and vegetables, making things hearty with your protection and strength. You’re just fine by yourself, but even better together. Now, don’t get it twisted. You two are real young, you’re kids, so I’m not puttin’ much stock into any of this turnin’ into anything more than it is, but I know a genuine heart when I see one.”

  “Grandmama, I know you think I’m young and stupid but—”

  “I never said no such thing.” She pulled out a chair and flopped down across from him.

  “Well, I feel like Cassidy and I have something special, and it’ll last a real long time. I don’t think age has much to do with it. It’s about that connection.”

  Grandmama looked at him for a long while then crossed her arms over one another and leaned forward.

  “I hope you two remain friends, if nothin’ else, for a mighty long time. You’re good for each other. I like how you treat my grandbaby, and I like how you light up and smile whenever she comes your way…”

  “You see that?! It’s a shark!” Tony cackled as he dashed across the sand, which tugged at his ankles and almost caused him to fall down face first. The turquoise water gleamed and glistened under the bright summer sunlight.

  “You’re crazy, just tryna scare me!” Cassidy hollered as she raced towards him, her orange and white polka dot bikini looking amazing against her skin.

  “Are you glad we came now? I told you this would be fun.” He bounced about, half out of breath from all of their playing around.

  “Yeah, I am. I’ve never been to this beach before. It’s pretty over here.” She grinned at him, then used her hand as a visor to look up at the sun.

  Juno Beach was a little over an hour away, and he’d brought her here because he wanted to spend some alone time with her. It was summertime—time to unwind. Soon, they’d be seniors; the last year of high school was fast approaching. He ran up to her, wrapped both arms around her waist, and lifted her in the air.

  “What are you doing?” She giggled loud and kicked her legs about. “Put me down!”

  “I’m looking at my prize, wanted to hold you under the best light in the world. Damn… you’re so pretty, Cass.”

  Her laughter slowly subsided as she looked down at him. He set her feet back onto the sand and didn’t care about all the people walking about, looking their way. Pressing his lips to hers, he kissed her hard and long. Their tongues danced as he squeezed her ass with one hand and held her close with the other. After a short while, he pulled away, then kissed her on the tip of her nose. He took her hand and they walked along the beach.

  “Can you believe we’ve been together almost a year, Cass?” He snuck a brief glance at her.

  “It went by fast! Seems like we met just yesterday.”

  “I know, time flies when you’re having fun, huh?”

  He led her back to their little pile of belongings atop a rainbow-striped beach blanket. There lay a bookbag with a sunhat and suntan lotion inside, and Cassidy’s pair of sunglasses. He picked up the bag and removed his flip flops as he rummaged within it. Inside a secret pocket within the bag, he’d find what he was looking for. He unzipped the small compartment and removed a gold ring with a small diamond. Holding it tight in his palm, he turned towards her.

  “What is that, Tony?”

  He opened his palm and he
r eyes glossed over. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand and turned around in a circle, her excitement apparent, but was quiet for a while.

  “Baby.” He grabbed her arm as her chest heaved up and down, emotions clearly taking over. “We have one more year of high school left. We’ve got big plans, not just as individuals, but as a couple. I can’t wait to see what the future is gonna be like for us, but uh… This isn’t much; I don’t make a whole lot from Fred, but I saved up enough to get you this. It’s not an engagement ring. It’s a promise ring. Cassidy, I promise you that I’ll love you forever. I don’t even pay attention to anyone else but you. I really know what love is now. Yeah, we’re young, but we found each other early. I moved here, real upset, ya know? I hated it. But now that I’ve found you, things don’t seem so bad.” He smiled at her and swiped a tear falling from her eye with the side of his knuckle. “Don’t cry, babe! Come on!”

  “I can’t help it.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I love you so much, Tony!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

  “Let me give you the ring.”

  “Oh… oh yeah.” She giggled as she stepped back, then put her hand out.

  He slid the ring on her finger and held her gaze.

  “This ring is for the future, okay? To remind you that, no matter what, I’ll always be there for you. I’m your best friend, and you’re mine. Through thick and thin, all right?”

  “Yes! Thick and thin!” He picked her up in his arms and spun her around and around, singing, “I’ve got my mind, set, on, you! Your turn, Cass!”

  “I’ve got my mind, set, on you, too!”

  He practically drowned in her beauty, still not believing that she was all his.

  I’ve changed… things have changed. They’re getting better, finally. I did great in school the last quarter. Dante is working again, and though he didn’t leave for Jersey yet, he’s saving up money again. I’m glad he’s still home after his graduation, actually. Mom was able to quit her second job last month and just work the one. I’ve got a little money, I’ve got friends – Maize, T.J. and E.T. are my homies. Things are really looking up. I know this is love… I don’t give any other broads the time of day. Girls hit on me all the time now since I got a car and I’m with Cassidy, but I don’t care about anything they’re saying. I have who I want. I’m waiting on her, still waiting until she’s ready to give it up, but it makes no difference because I know she’s worth it. The bottom line is that I’ve never felt like this before. I hope to God this never ends…

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The Party’s Over

  …Several months later

  Cassidy stood in her bathroom with the door wide open, having just finished frantically looking for Grandmama’s glasses. While her grandmother shuffled off to open the door, she quickly put on a robe over her bra and panties. Her boyfriend had just had a stereo system installed in his car, and you could hear him coming a half a mile away. ‘Just Got Paid’ by Johnny Kemp thumped from his ride.

  Tony made his way down the hall and stood right outside of the bathroom, concern swimming in his eyes.

  “She’s sick,” Cassidy explained. She shook a dark glass bottle of cough medicine. “Can’t get rid of it.”

  “She should be resting,” he said.

  “You know Grandmama. She doesn’t like to be idle.”

  Glad he’s here…

  She’d been worried as of late and wanted the company. Grandmama had had back-to-back colds.

  She’d said she was feeling better, but it seemed the hacking cough was back with a vengeance. Since Cassidy had become more involved in the Thunder Girls Outreach Program, she’d been getting home later than usual. She was in charge of helping to tutor younger kids struggling with their academics. That meant less time to ensure Grandmama was taking care of herself. Sometimes, the woman would forget to take her medicine.

  The older Cassidy got, the more responsible she felt for her grandmother, but the woman insisted Cassidy do whatever she deemed necessary to get into a good school and reach her goals. She wanted to perhaps join a sorority once she entered college, and understood that volunteering was essential in order to even be considered.

  Even though Grandmama only had a tenth grade education, she had been quite serious about her schooling from day one. She’d instilled in Cassidy the importance of being on time to class, to concentrate on her studies, and to never follow the crowd. Sometimes, Cassidy fell short, but she tried to do her best. When she disappointed her grandmother from time to time, she always felt it deep down in her soul. All Grandmama had to do was give you a look, and you knew you’d fallen from grace.

  Tony leaned forward and placed his hands on the doorframe.

  “She needs to go back to the doctor, right? This has been dragging out for a while now. She coughed all the way to the door.”

  “She got caught in the rain the other day. This has happened before.” Cassidy placed the cough medicine down, looked in her mirror, and tussled her hair into submission.

  “Wow. That was fast.”

  “What?”

  “You changed your hair,” he said with a smirk, leaning against the door and crossing his ankles. “I like it.”

  “You noticed? You like it for real?” She smiled.

  “Yeah, and of course I noticed. Half your fuckin’ hair is gone on the side!”

  “Shhh!” She chortled. “I had it done last night right before I went to my tutoring gig. Grandmama hates it.” Cassidy had gotten her hair cut on one side, inspired by her favorite rap group, Salt-N-Pepa. She kept it long in the back, but she loved the new do. She wasn’t the only one who’d changed, either…

  Thoughts whirled in her head. There’d been a lot of changing going on lately…

  Tony now dressed more like Maize and E.T. He had matching Adidas and Troop outfits, and three pairs of sneakers, all of them white. He had an assortment of gold chains, too. One was real, the others fake, but they appeared well made nevertheless. He’d had one ear pierced a few weeks ago, and typically wore a faux diamond or small hoop. Boy, had his mother pitched a fit about that. His hair was tapered on the sides, a fade with razor lines on the side, and he’d shot up in height seemingly overnight. Tony had looked much more childlike when they first met, but now, he looked like a man…

  His voice had deepened, too, and she didn’t hear it crack as much. He spoke pretty much the same, and that was a relief to her because she loved their conversations. He was so damn smart and resourceful. She never wanted that to change.

  “So, are we still going to that party tonight? E.T. said his mother is out of town in Tampa, so we can stay as long as we want.”

  “It depends on how Grandmama is doing.”

  He nodded in understanding. After asking him to wait in the living room, she hurried to her bedroom to get dressed. She dropped her robe onto the white sheets of her small bed and picked up her brush from the top of her dresser and started to work on the back of her hair. Pausing, she reached for a cassette and put it in her small player. ‘Tell it to My Heart’, performed by Taylor Dane, began to play. She moved to the beat as she reached for her faux diamond earrings to put them on. From her little jewelry box, she pulled out two dainty gold rings, including her promise ring from her sweetheart, and slid them on as well. Humming the lyrics of the song, she made her way to her closet and selected a long teal tank top to wear, pairing it with some black lace biker shorts.

  Where did I put that?

  Rummaging through her dresser, she finally located her bottle of Love’s Baby Soft perfume. She spritzed some behind her ears and wrists, and sprayed generously on her neck. Moments later, she walked into the living room to find Grandmama, Dante, and Tony watching ‘L.A. Law.’

  “Dante? What are you doing here?!” She burst out laughing. They all looked so comfy and cozy on the couch.

  “I was lookin’ for Tony. He’d gotten a call and uh, your grandmother told me to come in and eat.”


  “I sho’ ’nuff did.” Grandmama piped up as she slid her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. “He ain’t nothin’ but skin and bones. You can’t be White and at death’s door at the same time ’round here. You gotta pick which disadvantage you want. Since we can’t do nothin’ about the White part, we’ll tackle the fact that he look like somethin’ the cat chewed up and spit out. If he leaned against my wall, he’d be mistaken for a crack.” Grandmama huffed before going into another coughing spell.

  Tony hung his head and turned red as he stifled his laughter, but it was no use. He was soon laughing so hard, his face went bright red. Grandmama sat stone-faced during it all, her focus straight ahead on the television.

  Cassidy shook her head. “Grandmama, you can’t say things like that!” She giggled.

  Dante even smiled, much to her surprise.

  “I’ve been a little under the weather,” he explained. “Went to the doctor and found out I have a low white blood cell count.”

  Tony nodded in agreement. This was news to her. Tony told her practically everything, like how his mother was now dating some Mexican guy that he and his brother couldn’t stand. He’d told her about Monica sending him notes at school, most of them nasty in nature, trying to get him to meet her at various places—but he never did. She found it admirable that he’d admit such a thing, and Maize backed it up, saying Monica was a skeezer and after him even though Tony had told her several times to stop it, that he had a girlfriend. Danica and some of her other friends said they should jump Monica for such a thing, but Cassidy had talked them out of it. The girl wasn’t worth the risk of anyone getting suspended. They were seniors after all, almost at the finish line.