“Mom!” Lauren was horrified but to her surprise, Xairn didn’t give back an angry retort. Instead he bowed deeply from the waist. When he straightened up, he looked at her mother seriously.
“Please believe me when I say I would rather die than harm your daughter,” he said in a low voice. “I vow to you that I will protect her with my life.”
“Well!” Lauren’s mom seemed surprised at his response. “Um, thank you very much Mr. Xairn.”
Lauren stifled a smile. “It’s just Xairn, mom. His people don’t have last names.” Walking up the steps, she took Xairn by the arm. His big body was tense—his muscles as tight and hard as iron. Was something wrong? Was he offended by her mom’s lack of trust? “We’ll see you tomorrow,” she told her mother firmly.
“All right.” Reluctantly, her mother nodded. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Lauren smiled at her and nudged Xairn toward the door. “Come on—let’s get inside before the mosquitoes eat us alive.”
He looked around alertly. “You have carnivorous beasts near this residence? Should I get a weapon?”
Lauren laughed. “No, silly—mosquitoes are just bugs. They don’t hurt when they bite but they leave itchy red welts on your skin. So let’s go.”
“Very well.” He nodded once more to her mother. “I bid you goodnight, mother of Lauren.”
Her mother smiled faintly. “You can call me Abby, I suppose.”
“Abby, then,” Xairn said. “Good night. And please don’t have any more fear for your daughter.”
“I’ll try not to.” Lauren’s mom still sounded worried but at least she was headed for her car. “Good night.”
“Good night.” Lauren waved at her. She waited until her mom had started the car and then tugged Xairn back into the condo and closed the door.
She was finally back home but she had a feeling it was going to be a long, long time before things really got back to normal.
Chapter Twenty
“Your mother does not trust me.” Xairn crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the simple white tile flooring.
Lauren’s living space was small but attractively arranged. It had high ceilings and the walls were painted a pale, sunny yellow that made the space seem larger than it was. There was a small living area set off by a short blue couch, as one first stepped in the door. Diagonally across from the couch was a bed that looked to be a little smaller than the one they’d shared in Slk’s guest suite. Facing the bed and separated by a small archway was a tiny food prep area.
The bathroom, which was at the far end of the living area, was the only room separated from the rest of the space by a door. Everything else was contained in one small area. Lauren had told him the arrangement was called an efficiency apartment. It was smaller than the bare metal rooms Xairn had kept aboard the Fathership, but warmer too. In fact, he liked it—or thought he would once he got used to it.
“She’s just worried about me.” Lauren sat down on the side of the bed. As soon as they reached her living space she had changed into much more form fitting clothes than the garment Xairn had bought her in O’ah—jeans and a t-shirt, she called them. All Xairn knew was that the tight bottoms clung to her rounded ass and the soft, thin material of the top stretched across her full breasts in a most distracting way.
“She has a right to be worried,” he murmured, trying not to see how the outlines of her nipples were faintly visible through the shirt.
“She’ll be fine once I’ve been back home awhile.” She patted the spot beside her. “Come here.”
Xairn looked at her warily. “Why?”
Lauren sighed. “Because I want you beside me—near me. I love you, Xairn. People who love each other show it by being close and touching.”
He frowned and settled carefully on the bed beside her. “You mean the way you and your mother were holding each other?”
“Exactly.” Lauren scooted closer to him until she was leaning against his arm. She looked up at him. “You really never had anyone hug you?”
Xairn looked down at his hands. “I…I had a nursemaid for a little while—just until I was able to fend for myself. Then my father took me from her. She used to hold me on her lap when I was very small.” He shook his head. “But there’s been no once since then. Not until you.”
“Oh Xairn honey, how sad.” Lauren pressed closer to him. “Come here and let me hug you.”
Awkwardly, Xairn lifted his arm and let her press against his side. He felt the softness of her body and smelled the warm scent of her skin—the scent that marked her as his. Gods, she felt good! Too good. “Lauren?” he said hesitantly but she only pressed closer.
“Put your arms around me and hold me close,” she directed. Feeling helpless to disobey, Xairn did as she said. When he was holding her soft, warm body against his own Lauren sighed contentedly. “See, isn’t this nice? It’s good to be close. Warm. Comforting.”
There were other words Xairn would have used to describe the sensation of her body pressed against his but ‘nice, warm, and comforting’ were not it. He’d been feeling strangely melancholy as he watched the interaction between Lauren and her mother but now his body came to life in another way. His secondary shaft stiffened in his flight pants and his skin prickled with pleasure and desire at her touch. Strangest of all, for some reason his eyes felt hot—just as they had when he was enraged and defending her back on O’ah.
What’s happening to me? Am I going to lose control? He shifted uncomfortably on the bed and Lauren shifted with him. Somehow they wound up lying on the bed instead of sitting on it, with her draped over his left side.
“Mmm.” Lauren snuggled closer. Her breasts pressed against the side of his chest and her knee brushed casually against the hard ridge of his shaft.
Xairn stiffened but tried not to move. Clearly this was something Lauren wanted—to hold and be held by the one she loved. But Gods, how hard it was to fight his natural impulse to flip her over, tear off her clothes and take her! His fingers itched to cup her breasts and pinch her nipples and his shaft throbbed to be inside her, filling her sweet wet cunt with his cum—marking her, bonding her.
I could tie her hands above her head with my belt—stretch her out to fully appreciate her beautiful body. Could tease her for hours until I finally took her. I want to hear her moaning my name as I fuck her, as I mark her as mine forever…No! He had to get hold of himself! Taking a deep breath, Xairn fought for control.
“Relax,” Lauren murmured, her warm breath tickling his ear. “You’re tight as a wire, baby. Don’t you like snuggling with me?”
“It’s very stimulating, this…snuggling,” Xairn admitted in a strangled voice.
“Well, it’s supposed to be relaxing.” Humming contentedly, she slipped a hand into his shirt to stroke his chest. Her fingertips slid, cool and ticklish, over the raised letters of the brand the Judge of the Market had put on him. Xairn jumped. “I’m sorry.” She looked up at him. “Does this still hurt?”
“No,” he said stiffly. “I am a fast healer.”
“Your eyes…” She bit her lip. “For a minute they went back to their old color.”
“Did they?” He shrugged. His eyes felt hot again in their sockets and he wondered if that had anything to do with it. “Don’t worry,” he told Lauren, who still looked concerned. “It wasn’t because it hurt when you touched me.”
“It was hard for me to watch them do it,” she whispered. “To know you were being hurt for my sake and there was nothing I could do about it.”
Xairn felt some of his tension melting at her soft words. “I didn’t mind,” he assured her softly.
“Well, I did.” Leaning over him, Lauren unfastened his shirt and pulled it open, baring his chest. Her long black hair trailed over his skin, raising chillbumps along his arms and setting his nerves afire with need. “Xairn…” she murmured, looking up at him once more. “I wish I could have done this earlier, to take the pain away.” Gently, she pressed he
r lips to the brand, kissing the places he was marked with her name.
Xairn felt like he was going to explode. Her mouth was so warm and soft and wet and when she finished kissing the brand, she began to move lower. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides as her lips trailed over his tense abdomen and lower, to the waistband of his black flight pants. When Lauren reached for the fastening of the pants he bolted upright.
“Oh my God, what? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” She looked up at him anxiously, her amber eyes filled with concern.
“I’m fine. I just needed some…some air.” Xairn sat on the edge of the bed, breathing raggedly, his chest pumping like a bellows. His eyes felt like they were going to burn a hole in his skull they were so hot, and his primary heart was thundering in his ears. In his mind’s eye, a scenario was playing over and over again.
Lauren on her knees, naked. Her hands tied behind her back and a black blindfold covering her eyes. She would be helpless, completely under my control. First I would place the collar on her and then I would pierce her nipples. Two small hoops of silver—the contrast of the bright metal against her dark skin would be beautiful. The piercing would sting but I would kiss the pain away and stroke her body until she was ready for pleasure. Then I would take her over and over, marking her with my cum. Bonding her to me.
The scene was so vivid Xairn couldn’t stop seeing it. Couldn’t stop imagining how it might go. He saw himself pushing down his pants and rubbing his cock against her soft cheek. She would turn her head blindly, unable to see but searching, trying to find his shaft. He would feel her warm, wet mouth closing on him, taking him in, sucking him. But not just his secondary shaft—no. She would suck and stimulate his primary shaft—his bonding shaft.
He would thrust into her mouth, his hands buried in her long, silky black hair and she would moan softly as she sucked him, as he fucked her mouth. And then when both his primary and secondary shafts were hard, he would take her. Fill her completely both front and back and bond her to him until she cried his name out loud and gave herself completely, until she was his forever…
No! Xairn tried to get hold of himself. No I can’t let it go that far. Can’t ever bond her to me. Because he knew if he ever let go of his control enough to do that, he would hurt her, would break her fragile body with his rough fucking and fierce sexual demands.
It’s not safe, he told himself angrily. Damn it to the seven hells, none of this is safe. Her mother is right not to trust me—I can’t even trust myself!
But then he risked a glance to his side and saw Lauren’s lovely, worried face. This was what she wanted—to touch and be touched. She wanted his hands on her almost as much as Xairn wanted to put them there. People who love each other show it by being close and touching, she’d said. But how could he do that without losing control?
“Forgive me,” he said roughly. “I’m just…this is difficult for me.”
“Because it’s new?” Lauren touched his arm anxiously and he flinched away before he could stop himself.
Xairn hated to see the hurt look on her face. “Because I want so much more,” he said, looking down at his hands. “Because…because I’m afraid of what I might do to you.”
Lauren sighed. “You’re not going to hurt me, Xairn. Just touch me—I won’t break.”
His hands clenched into fists again. “I…I don’t know how,” he confessed in a low voice. “You know I have never been with a female, Lauren. I don’t know how to…to bring you pleasure without going too far and hurting you.”
“Then I’ll teach you.” She smiled at him. “Will you let me?”
Xairn closed his eyes tightly. Could he bear this? Would he be able to keep control of himself well enough to give her pleasure without snapping and taking her completely?
“I…want to,” he said slowly. “Maybe…maybe if you allow me to do the touching and don’t try to touch me in return.”
“You wanna be in the driver’s seat, huh?” She gave him a playful smile.
“More like I need to be,” Xairn said truthfully. He looked at her. “I…I think I can control my darker urges if I am the one in control. But if I feel your hands and mouth on me again…” He shook his head. “I just don’t know.”
“All right then.” Lauren nodded thoughtfully. “We can do that.” Gracefully, she got off the bed and knelt on the floor in front of him. “I am yours to command, Master.” Her amber eyes danced playfully. “What would you have me do?”
“Stop it,” Xairn said hoarsely. Seeing her submissive posture brought his Scourge desires to the surface as nothing else could. His shaft throbbed painfully in his pants and he closed his eyes briefly, fighting for control. “I know you’re joking but please…please don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” Lauren rose and came to stand between his legs. She was close enough that Xairn could feel the heat of her body but she was obviously being careful not to make contact. “I…I don’t know why I did that,” she confessed, sounding confused. “So…what do you want to do?”
“I want to touch you,” he said honestly. “Touch you but not hurt you. But first I want…I want to see you.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “You mean…naked?”
“Yes. If you don’t mind.” The times he’d glimpsed her naked body were still burned into his brain. Especially when she’d offered herself to him if he would save her from his father. Now she was offering herself for a different reason—because she loved him. Xairn wanted desperately to return that love without hurting her but he wasn’t sure he could.
“Well, I’m a little shy…” Lauren bit her lip. “I know you’ve seen me before, but…”
Xairn shook his head. “It’s all right if you would rather not.”
“No, I want to. I do.” Lifting her chin, she pulled the t-shirt over her head, baring the lacy undergarment which cupped her breasts. It was white and the contrast of the pale fabric against the creamy light brown of her skin was breathtaking.
“Beautiful,” Xairn breathed, reaching up to stroke the outline of one nipple, visible through the white fabric.
Lauren sucked in a breath and smiled. “How about if I lose the bra?” Before he could answer, she was unfastening the back of the garment and slipping it off her arms. It fluttered to the floor and lay there in a small heap of white lace, baring her breasts to him completely.
Xairn felt his eyes go blazing hot for a moment as he took in the lovely sight. Her breasts were high and full, just the right size to fill his palms. And her nipples were tight—ripe berries at the tips of her breasts. Hesitantly, he reached for her and Lauren thrust forward, pressing her warm mounds into the palms of his hands. She moaned softly, a sound which seemed to go straight to the hard ridge of his cock and make him even harder.
“Lauren…” he murmured, looking into her eyes. “I want…I need to put my mouth on you.”
“You want to kiss me?”
Xairn wanted to do more than that. He longed to strip her completely naked and lick and suck and bite every inch of her skin until she was wholly and utterly his. But he had to be careful—couldn’t risk losing control. “Yes,” he said at last. “But I need you to be still while I do it.” If he felt her moving against him, thrusting her breasts closer to his face, offering herself, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taking her, hurting her. “Here.” Taking her arms, he folded them securely behind her back. “Keep them like that,” he warned, looking into her lovely amber eyes. “Don’t move and don’t reach for me. Hold perfectly still while I touch you. While I kiss you.”
“All…all right.” Lauren looked puzzled but she did as he asked, holding perfectly still as he leaned forward to press his face to her chest.
The skin between her breasts was softer than anywhere else on her body. Xairn rubbed his cheek against her there, breathing in her scent, trying to keep control of himself. It helped that she was holding perfectly still, not provoking him in any way. If she tried to reach for him or worse, tried to run away
, he was certain his predatory Scourge instincts would be so aroused that something disastrous might occur.
Tentatively, he put out his tongue and lapped the inner curve of her right breast. Lauren moaned softly but didn’t move and he felt his shaft harden even more at the delicious, slightly salty taste of her skin. Gods, he wanted to taste her more—to taste her lower! But he knew he couldn’t control himself if he did that. Instead, he pressed his lips to the tight bud of her right nipple. Lauren moaned again.
Xairn looked up. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“No, baby.” Her pupils were dilated and her voice was slightly husky. “You’re just driving me crazy, going so slow.”
“I have to go slow,” he said truthfully. “I need to be sure I don’t lose control.”
“You won’t,” she said softly. “Just do what you want to do.”
Xairn felt his eyes get hot. “I want to suck you,” he admitted, cupping one breast in his hand and rubbing his thumb gently over the tight nipple. “I want to take you into my mouth completely and hear you moan while I taste you.”
Lauren’s breath seemed to catch in her throat. “Do it then,” she whispered. “I told you, do what you want.”
If only you knew everything I really want, you’d run from me. But he didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he parted his lips and took the tight bud into his mouth, sucking softly at first and then harder, listening to her soft cries of pleasure as he fought to hold himself back.
* * * * *
Lauren couldn’t stop watching the erotic sight of her tight nipple disappearing between Xairn’s lips.
He sucked her softly at first, as though he was afraid to hurt her. Then he seemed to gain confidence. He opened his mouth, taking as much of her breast between his lips as he could, and sucked fiercely, as though he couldn’t get enough of her.
Lauren longed to run her fingers through his thick black hair, to stroke the broad, muscular shoulders knotted with tension as he pleasured her. She started to reach for him but Xairn must have felt her movement. His arm slid around her waist and one big hand suddenly locked around both her wrists, keeping them in place behind her back. Lauren moaned and wiggled a little in protest and he released her nipple and looked up at her.
Brides of the Kindred Volume One Page 145