Brides of the Kindred Volume One

by Evangeline Anderson

  “Injured? Oh no, no I’m fine.” Lauren sniffed and tried to smile. “Just a little shaken up, that’s all.”

  He shook his head. “It’s more than that, I can tell.” He held out his arms and then let them drop, helpless to his sides. “I…I want to comfort you but I’m not sure how to go about it.”

  Lauren looked up at him. “Hold me,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “If…if you can stand it, I mean. I just…I need your arms around me now. Please, Xairn.”

  “Of course I can stand it,” he said roughly. Coming forward, he swept her into his arms and held her tight against his chest. “I love you, Lauren,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry I don’t show it the way I should. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong but please know that I do love you.”

  “I love you too.” Putting her arms around him, she buried her face in his broad chest and breathed in the warm, spicy scent of his skin. God, he always smelled so good, so perfectly right, somehow. It was as though the deep, masculine musk he exuded was part of her—just smelling it could make her feel better.

  Xairn held her for a long time and she reveled in the feeling of being close to him for the first time in ages. A few more tears leaked down her cheeks but they were more tears of exhaustion than anything else. She’d been up all night analyzing their relationship and now she had a huge mess to clean up. Lauren sighed. Well, no time like the present.

  Reluctantly, she disengaged herself from his embrace. “Thanks but I think I’d better get to work now. I’ve got a hell of a mess to clean up before I can even think about making any cupcakes.”

  Xairn nodded as he let her go. “I’ll help.”

  “You don’t have to,” she protested. “It’s my shop, I can do it.”

  “I want to.” He looked around the kitchen. “Besides, it won’t be the first time I’ve cleaned. I helped in the urlich kennels when I was a boy—you should see the mess that fifty untrained animals can make in a night. It’s not pretty, I assure you.”

  Lauren gave a little laugh. “Okay, well that does kind of put things in perspective.” She reached for the industrial sized garbage bags she kept in a box on the counter and tore off one for Xairn and one for herself. “I, uh, have a question,” she said, looking at him from the corner of her eye as she shook the bag out.

  “Yes?” He copied her motions with his own bag, found the opening, and began to load it with the flour-covered trash.

  “You were just, uh, holding me pretty close a minute ago.” Lauren concentrated on filling her own bag as she talked, almost afraid to look at him as she asked what was on her mind.

  “Yes, and?”

  “Well…” She cleared her throat. “In the past after we’ve been close you had to, uh, excuse yourself.” She risked a quick glance at him. “But you’re not this time. Why?”

  “Are you asking me why holding you didn’t arouse me?”

  “Uh, yeah. I guess.” Lauren looked at him curiously.

  Xairn frowned, his trash bag held open in one hand. “How could I become aroused? You were in pain, crying. My instincts were to protect and comfort you—not fuck you.”

  “Oh Xairn…” Lauren shook her head, not sure what to say. “Honey, I know this sounds strange, but that’s one of the sweetest things you’ve ever said to me. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He nodded gravely and then bent to pick up another empty beer can.

  “I wonder if the human DNA you got from me is working in this case?” Lauren said carefully. “I mean, from what you’ve told me about your people…”

  “Yes.” Xairn sounded thoughtful. “A normal Scourge would have been aroused by your pain. Rather than wishing to alleviate it, he would have tried to increase it. Of course, emotional pain and sexual pain aren’t quite the same thing.”

  “Sexual pain?” A shiver ran through Lauren. Part fear and part…something else. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s part of the training a female goes through when she is claimed by a Scourge male.” Xairn suddenly seemed very busy with cleaning and wouldn’t look at her. “She is taught to be obedient—to treat her mate as a master to be obeyed at all costs.”

  “And if she doesn’t?” Lauren’s heart was racing but she didn’t know why.

  “She will be punished,” Xairn said in a low voice. “The punishment takes many forms. Her master might attach weights to the rings piercing her nipples and pussy—so she is reminded of her disobedience with every move she makes. Or he might chain her to the wall and flog her. In severe cases he might employ the torture of a thousand sighs.”

  “The what?” Lauren heard the tremble in her own voice but she couldn’t seem to stop it. “What’s that?”

  “He puts her over his knee and orders her to spread her thighs.” Xairn’s voice was rough and he still wouldn’t look at her as he spoke. “He spanks her—she’s already naked so he has full access to her ass and pussy, of course.”

  “Of course,” Lauren murmured, her heart giving a jump. “Then…then what?”

  “He touches her. Pleasures her. Explores her inner pussy with his fingers until she’s moaning and writhing on his lap.” Xairn cleared his throat. “Then he spanks her again. He alternates pain and pleasure—sometimes for hours, never letting her come. Until…”

  “Until what?” Lauren’s breath was coming short and she felt wet and hot and swollen between her legs for some reason. God, was Xairn’s description actually turning her on? But I’m not interested in this kind of stuff, she told herself. Apparently she was, though. Or her body was and someone had forgotten to send her brain the memo because what he was saying was definitely making her hot. “Until what?” she asked again, realizing that Xairn was just standing there, silent.

  He shook his head. “We shouldn’t be talking about such things.”

  “Why not? You can’t leave me hanging like this,” Lauren protested. “Tell me what he does to her next? How does the torture of a thousand sighs end?”

  “It ends when she calls him ‘Master’ and begs for his cock deep in her pussy.” Xairn looked at her, his eyes blazing. “It ends when he fucks her and fills her with his cum.”

  “God.” Lauren put a hand to her heart to still the racing. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to speak.” He finished filling the trash bag and knotted it closed savagely. “Your face says everything.” He put down the bag. “I’m going to get a broom.”

  “Xairn, wait,” she said but he had already stalked out of the room, his broad shoulders stiff with tension.

  Lauren was feeling pretty tense herself. Why did his description of the sexual punishment practiced by his people turn her on so much? It was along the same lines of what her boyfriend in college had been interested in but then it had just seemed silly. With Xairn it seemed…primal somehow. Wild. Intense. Lauren could almost see herself spread out over his knee, her panties down around her ankles while he alternately caressed and spanked her with those big hands…Stop it, she told herself sternly. Things are hard enough for him as it is. It’s obvious he’s ashamed of what his people do. I shouldn’t have made him tell me about it.

  Then again, maybe what they really needed to do was talk about it—all of it. Maybe if they could just talk things out—

  Xairn interrupted her train of thought by coming back into the room with a broom and dustpan. “You should probably wipe off the surfaces first to save time,” he said, nodding at the smears of flour on the stainless steel countertops.

  “Um, yeah. Sure.” Lauren got moving. Obviously now wasn’t the time to talk. But she still couldn’t get the image of herself over his knee out of her head.

  * * * * *

  Xairn cursed himself as they finished cleaning the food prep area. Why had he told Lauren about the torture of a thousand sighs? It was clear from the look on her face how much his descriptions had bothered her. Her breathing had been uneven and her eyes had been wide and uncertain as he talked. It
frightens and disgusts her, he thought, mentally kicking himself again. Of course it does. It should. Forcing a female to submit in that way, punishing her—it’s wrong. Cruel. And though it wasn’t nearly as brutal as some of the things the Scourge did to their females, the punishment of a thousand sighs could lead to other things. Worse things. Things he couldn’t control…

  “Hey, lunch break.”

  Lauren’s voice broke into his litany of self recrimination and Xairn looked up to see her watching him. “All right.” He put down the broom and straightened up. “Is there anything to eat here?”

  She made a face. “I doubt it, unless Lorenzo and his stoner friends left some old pizza in the fridge. Let’s go out for lunch—there are tons of little cafes around the Circle. What do you feel like?”

  Xairn shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Lauren rolled her eyes in obvious exasperation. “I try and I try but you never seem to care what you eat.”

  “Why should I?” He frowned as they left her shop walked out into the sunshine. “Food is fuel—nothing more. Why should I care what it tastes or looks like as long as it nourishes me?”

  “Because.” Lauren locked the door and absently brushed some flour off her blouse. “Just because, okay? Look there’s an Italian place with nice outdoor seating a few doors down. Let’s go there.”

  “If you like.” He could tell that it bothered her that he didn’t have a preference for what he ate but he had never had that luxury before. All his life, growing up on the Fathership, he was lucky if he got enough to eat, never mind what it was. He had eaten whatever was put in front of him, no matter how repulsive or bland. Now, though most of the foods she had introduced him to were tasty, it was hard to allow himself to like them—his past held him back. Xairn told himself it was impossible to change the habits of a lifetime in a few weeks, Or maybe ever, whispered a dark part of his brain and he knew he wasn’t simply thinking about his taste in food.

  They were seated at a table along the sidewalk outside the café and a human female with long brown hair came up to serve them. Lauren appeared to know her because they chatted for several minutes before Lauren gave the female their orders. Just as the waitress was leaving, a skinny canine with scruffy black fur came bounding up to their table.

  “Oh, sorry!” The waitress tried to shoo the dog away. “She’s been hanging around here for the past two weeks begging for scraps. We try to keep her away but she’s really persistent and none of us really has the heart to take her to the pound.”

  “Of course you shouldn’t take her to the pound,” Lauren exclaimed. “Here girl.” She took a piece of bread from the basket the waitress had brought and offered it to the dog who took it eagerly. “Poor thing, she looks like she’s starving.”

  “We give her as much as we can but she’s always hungry.” The waitress sighed. “We think she has a litter of puppies around here somewhere but none of us can find them. Here girl. Here Lola. That’s what we named her,” she explained a little sheepishly.

  “She needs a good home,” Lauren said. “But unless you can find the puppies it would be cruel to take her somewhere.”

  “You’re right.” The waitress smiled at the dog fondly. “We’ll probably look for them again tonight.” She shook her head. “Well, let me go put that order in for you and get you a new basket of bread.”

  “Thanks.” Lauren smiled at her as she left. “Here Lola,” she said, holding out another piece of bread to the dog. This time the female dog took the bread but didn’t eat it. Instead, she darted away down a back alley between two of the shops and was gone. “Aww, I bet she’s taking it to her babies.” She looked up at Xairn and frowned. “Hey, you’re awfully quiet? Are you okay?”

  “Fine. I’m…fine.” He shook his head, trying to clear away the memories that threatened to drown him. Sanja as a puppy, so playful and eager to please. Her big brown eyes, her soft fur, the way she always knew when I was upset. And the look in her eyes when I had to give the last command. When I had to kill her…

  Gods, he didn’t need to be thinking about this now. He hadn’t told Lauren about his pet or how he’d been forced by his father to kill her. In fact, he hadn’t told her hardly anything about his past although she seemed to have deduced a great deal on her own. She doesn’t need to know, he thought, looking down at his water glass. Doesn’t need to hear the things I went through. The things I did. It’s bad enough that she knows about my people without knowing the specifics of my sad, twisted life.

  “You don’t seem fine.” Lauren sounded doubtful.

  “I am though.” Xairn made an effort to straighten up and shake off the black mood that had come over him. He even made favorable comments about the food when it arrived. His approval and enjoyment seemed to please Lauren.

  “I’ll make a foodie out of you yet.” She grinned at him. “In fact, let’s stop by the store on the way back to my shop. I’ll get the ingredients to make a batch of cupcakes just for you.”

  Xairn smiled at her. “You did promise me some of your signature confection as I recall.”

  “That’s right, I did. And I have a new recipe I’ve been dying to try. Chocolate vanilla bean with strawberry jam in the center—kind of a Neapolitan thing. Should be delicious if I can keep the jam part from sinking to the bottom while the cupcakes bake.”

  As always, when she spoke about her chosen profession, Lauren’s eyes lit up and she started to smile. It reminded Xairn of how she had looked when she first told him about the miniature cakes and described how they tasted when she was still a prisoner on the Fathership. The passion in her voice and the light in her warm amber eyes had drawn him like a magnet. He thought it was then that he first began to love her, though he hadn’t understood it at the time. It was Lauren who had introduced him to the concept of love in the first place—a concept he feared he was still far from mastering.

  Gods, how I care for her, he thought, listening intently as she spoke about the recipe she wanted to try. I wish I could show her how much without hurting her! If only…

  But there was no way. No way to express all he felt and still keep control of his darker urges. With a sigh, Xairn pushed the thought away and tried to concentrate on what Lauren was saying instead of his growing desire for her. But it was hard, Gods, so hard when he wanted her so badly. He could still feel her pressed against him from the long hug they had shared back at her shop. Her warm, curvy body, her smooth brown skin, her sweet feminine scent—everything about her was appealing. Like a drug he couldn’t get enough of.

  I want her more every day, he thought. Every day it gets harder and harder not to take her, to bond her to me. Gods, I should leave now before I hurt her, before I ruin her life and put out the light in her beautiful eyes forever.

  But he couldn’t leave. No matter how much he knew he ought to go, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Lauren hummed happily to herself as she stirred strawberry puree into a big bowl of homemade butter cream frosting. They were back at the Sweet Spot and the cupcakes were in the oven, filling the air with the warm, delicious scents of chocolate and vanilla. The smells soothed her as nothing else could and for the first time in weeks she felt at peace.

  Baking always made Lauren her feel like herself again. Considering all the stress she’d been under lately, she didn’t understand why she hadn’t made anything before now. She’d been concentrating on her relationship with Xairn to the exclusion of almost everything else—leaving little time to try new recipes. Now she admitted to herself that had been a mistake. Some things couldn’t be forced. She needed to be patient—to let the feelings flow naturally between them. Maybe if she just relaxed, things would fall into place. She’d always been optimistic by nature—it was good to feel her natural cheerfulness returning.

  “That looks delicious,” Xairn murmured, interrupting her train of thought. He was leaning against one of the counters, watching as she worked at the island in the middle of th
e kitchen. His deep voice was a low purr and his eyes were hot as he watched her. “You use only fresh ingredients?”

  Lauren felt her heart skip a beat at the way he was watching at her. Looking down, she realized that the top two buttons of her cotton Henley blouse had become unbuttoned, showing a generous amount of cleavage. She must have been putting on a show without knowing it. She started to button her blouse…and stopped.

  “All fresh everyday. That’s my motto.” She smiled and dipped her finger into the sticky-sweet, ruby red puree. “Fresh organic strawberries and pure cane sugar—that’s all. Want to try some?”

  He took a step toward her and then held back. “I…shouldn’t.”

  “Sure, you should.” Lauren’s heart began to pound. Let it flow, she reminded herself. Go with your instinct. Stepping toward him, she held her finger, still dripping with the sticky puree, in front of his lips. “Say ahh, baby,” she murmured.

  Hesitantly, Xairn parted his lips and then the tip of her finger was engulfed in his hot, wet mouth. Holding her eyes with his own, he sucked the sweet mixture from her finger, cleaning her skin slowly and thoroughly with his tongue. It reminded Lauren of the way he had licked her pussy honey from her fingers after she’d touched herself for him. Just the memory of that made her feel hot and wet between her legs, made her whole body tremble. God, she wanted him, wanted more…

  But then, suddenly Xairn was releasing her and it was over. “Delicious,” he said thickly, his eyes half-lidded with lust. “But…I probably shouldn’t have any more.”

  “Oh, yes you should!” Lauren’s heart was racing but she wasn’t about to end this now. They were finally getting somewhere and she didn’t want to stop. Reaching into the strawberry puree again, she painted her bottom lip with it and beckoned to Xairn. “Come here.”

  She didn’t have to ask twice. A low growl rose in his throat and then he was bending her over his arm, ravaging her mouth with a hunger that left her breathless. He sucked her bottom lip eagerly, lapping away all traces of strawberry before demanding entrance to her mouth.