Summoning all the natural Scourge rage that lay within him, just below the surface of his psyche, Xairn stopped the power flowing out of him. Then, with a strength born of desperation, he snapped the fragile chain of human DNA within himself, allowing the floodgates of his true identity to surge forward.
Immediately his eyes burned and he was flooded with power. With it came cruelty, possessiveness, and a lust he knew he would never be able to control. A monster, he thought as the Scourge impulses rushed through his body like a wildfire, devouring all that was good. I am truly a monster now. He looked down at his hand, holding the cryo-knife. No longer was his skin a smooth, even tan. It had reverted to its natural color of pale, pearlescent gray. Xairn knew without looking that his eyes had gone back to their normal red-on-black as well. He was Scourge again—through and through. There were other things to worry about at the present, however. Such as what to do to his father.
“Xairn?” The AllFather was looking at him uncertainly. “My ssson? How have you changed?”
“I told you before that I am your son no longer.” Xairn heard the coldness in his own voice as he got to his feet. He raised the cryo-knife. “You have only yourself to blame for that.”
“Ssstop!” The AllFather’s voice crackled with authority and Xairn felt him put out a tendril of power, but it had no effect on him. Instinctively, he grabbed the power, reaching out with a part of himself he had never known he possessed until now. The part was like a greedy, hungry hand. It pushed out from the center of his chest and grasped for life—any life—to feed its monstrous appetite. Once it latched on to the power coming from the AllFather, it began to grow, to suck in his energy and life force.
“How do you like it, Father?” Xairn asked coldly, as he felt the force inside him begin to grow, even as his father’s power diminished. “How does it feel to be the one who is drained?”
“No!” The AllFather’s eyes were red-on-black again but instead of crimson, his irises were a pale, rusty red. They looked faded somehow and his already pale skin began to grow ashen.
Because of me, Xairn thought coldly. Because I’m draining him, killing him. The thought didn’t cause any pain or remorse. The more power he drew from his father, the less he felt. The less he cared. And the more he wanted.
“Ssstop!” the AllFather wheezed, sinking to his knees. “It was a test, don’t you sssee? Only a test, my ssson. And you have passed it. You are fit to rule with me, by my ssside. Please…no…” He fell over, onto his side, his mouth open in soundless screams but still Xairn drained him. Still the hungry hand grasped for more…
“My son, stop!”
At first Xairn thought it was some trick his father was playing but the voice he heard now was soft and feminine and there was no hissing in its tone.
“Stop,” the voice cried again. “Do not take any more of his essence into yourself. Inhaling his evil will taint your soul!”
Looking up, he saw a feminine face pressed to the bars of the cage. It was the same face he remembered seeing over and over again in the visions his father had shown him. The sight of it—of her—nearly stopped his heart. It had begun to feel like a fist of solid ice in his chest but now it throbbed painfully inside him, as if to say that it wasn’t quite frozen yet.
“Mother?” he asked, stepping around the fallen body of the AllFather. “Is it you? Really you?”
“Oh Xairn. My baby.” She pressed her face to the bars of the cage and reached out to him with both arms.
Xairn came to her slowly, walking on legs that felt like dry sticks. Mother…my mother… Strangely, she looked exactly as he had seen her in the visions. Her long brownish-black hair wasn’t streaked with grey and her face was unlined—untouched by age.
“Mother,” he whispered again, falling to his knees beside her and taking her outstretched hands. “How…why…I thought you were dead. Why did I never see you? Where did he keep you?”
“Your father held me in stasis—never aging, never changing. He has a stasis tube in one of the emergency life pods—that was where he kept me.” Her eyes were bright with tears. “He wanted my pain to remain fresh—the pain of losing you. Oh Xairn, my baby, to me it was only yesterday that you were torn from my arms. And now you’re a fully grown male. I can hardly believe it.”
“Mother…” Suddenly he could stand to see her caged no longer. “Hold on,” he said, looking for the lock. “I’ll get you out of here. I’ve come to take you home.”
“Oh Xairn…” She let out a half sob as he found the locking mechanism and plunged the cryo-knife into it. The lock froze and shattered into a thousand pieces. Headless of the shrapnel, Xairn dragged open the door to the cage. “Come out.”
“My son. How I have longed to hold you just once more.” Stiffly, she made her way out of the cramped confines and fell into his arms. Xairn pulled her close at once, crushing her to him, pressing his face to her hair and breathing her in.
“Mother,” he whispered. “All my life I have longed for you.”
“I’m sorry. So sorry.” She sobbed against him and Xairn tried to hold her more gently. She felt fragile in his arms, as though she might break into a thousand pieces like the lock had.
He took a deep breath and tried to calm the painful throbbing of his heart. Not frozen now—his mother’s love had melted it completely. “It’s all right now,” he whispered. “I’ll take you someplace safe. You’ll never have to worry about anything again. I’ll provide for you, care for you—”
“No, my son.” Her voice sounded strange in his ears and he pulled back to look at her.
“Why not?”
“I won’t live that long. Look.” She indicated her face and Xairn saw to his horror that her formerly smooth skin was now lined with wrinkles. As he watched, more lines encroached, etching themselves into her lovely features, turning her old and haggard. Streaks of silver grew in her hair and her hands grew withered and gnarled.
“Gods!” he exclaimed, panicked. “What’s wrong? What’s happening to you?”
“The cage I was placed in was a stasis holder.” Her voice sounded scratchy and high, the voice of an old woman. “When I came out of it, my artificial youth was compromised. The years are catching up to me now—three years for every one I was in stasis. It is a deadly process—one I’m not strong enough to withstand, I fear.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Xairn’s felt hot tears spring to his eyes. “Why didn’t you stay in the cage? I never should have broken the lock!”
“I wanted you to.” She raised a withered hand and brushed his cheek. “I wanted to hold you in my arms one more time before I died. I love you, my darling. Love you so much. Please forgive my absence from your life.”
“You couldn’t help it,” Xairn whispered, his voice breaking as the tears came faster. “I could never…never blame you.”
“Thank you, my son. I love you.” She smiled at him and even though her face was withered and old, he thought her smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “Tell me this at least—do you have someone to love you? Someone to care for you?”
Xairn thought of Lauren. Of how he would never be able to go back to her now that his Scourge nature had reasserted itself. “Yes,” he whispered hoarsely. “There is a girl I love. She’s kind and beautiful. I…I think you would like her.”
“I’m so glad.” His mother sighed tiredly. “So glad that you’re not alone. That you have someone to love you.” She shook her head feebly. “I must go now. Promise not to take any more of your father’s power—it leads only to corruption and evil.”
“I…I promise,” Xairn whispered. “Mother, please don’t go. Don’t…don’t die.”
But it was too late. Slowly her green eyes closed and her chest rose and fell once more. Looking at her, Xairn knew it would never rise again. She was gone.
“Mother!” Throwing back his head, he howled his grief to the universe. Dead, she was dead! He had found her at last only to lose her forever. It seemed so u
nfair, so wrong. He wanted to kill, wanted to die, wanted to dive into the blackness of space and let the airless vacuum take him so he wouldn’t have to feel the unbearable pain of her loss.
Suddenly he heard a soft sound at his feet.
“Ssso, you have freed her at last.” The AllFather was watching him from faded red eyes but Xairn thought he looked stronger than he had a few minutes ago. Was his power returning?
Doesn’t matter if it is, Xairn thought, turning a murderous gaze on his father. I can fix that. He felt the greedy, grasping fist rise inside him once more, ready to take, ready to inhale his father’s power and leave him a dry, desiccated corpse at the foot of his own throne.
But then he remembered the soft voice of his mother. “Inhaling his evil will taint your soul!” she’d said.
“That’sss right, it will.” The AllFather chuckled weakly, his eyes glowing brighter as he read Xairn’s thoughts. “Ssso you cannot take my life. I know you, my ssson—you will not go against your mother’sss dying wish.”
“No, I won’t.” Tenderly, Xairn laid his mother’s body on the ground and turned to face his father who had somehow gotten to his feet.
“I knew it.” The AllFather’s hissing laughter filled the air. “Knew you were too weak to truly challenge me.”
“I don’t wish to challenge you,” Xairn said, taking a step toward him. “I wish to kill you.”
“What—?” the AllFather began, his crimson eyes wide with surprise.
Xairn plunged the cryo-knife into his chest, skewering the twisted black lump that served as his heart. “Die, Father” he whispered. “Die.”
The AllFather’s body froze in shock and a thin layer of frost formed over his rigid torso. Xairn watched dispassionately as the male who had raised him with such misery and pain fell to his knees and the life left his eyes.
As the AllFather fell, it seemed as though some connection between them was severed. The strange, greedy hand Xairn had felt inside himself was being pulled out, like a tooth being yanked out by the roots. He cried out in sudden pain, one hand clutching his chest. Then he collapsed at the foot of the green etched throne, falling helpless between the bodies of his mother and father.
Mother, he thought, turning his face toward her face, finally peaceful in death. I’m sorry. I couldn’t save you but at least I avenged you. And whatever it was that made me like him is gone. The power, the greed, is gone…
Then the world was eaten by darkness and he knew no more.
Chapter Thirty-seven
He woke in a dim room with someone bending over him. “What…who are you?” he mumbled, trying to make his eyes focus.
“Relax Xairn. It’s me, Sylvan—I’m a healer.”
“Am I sick? Where am I?” He sat up in bed and the room spun around him. With a groan he sank back down onto the pillows.
“Take it easy.” Sylvan sounded worried. “You had many wounds—you lost a lot of blood. I want to give you a transfusion but I’m still running tests to make sure our blood is compatible with yours.”
“Nothing about me is compatible with anyone.” Xairn started to put a hand to his head…and stopped. “Turn up the lights.”
“What?” Sylvan frowned.
“Turn up the lights, damn it! I need to see something.”
“Very well.” Looking up, Sylvan addressed the ceiling. “Lights high.”
Xairn blinked in the sudden brilliance and examined his hand with its pearlescent grey skin. Grey? But it was tan—the human DNA I got from Lauren changed it. How can it possible by grey again? How—?
Suddenly, in a rush of images, everything came back to him. The corridor filled with vat grown soldiers, the high steps leading to the throne, the cage covered in black cloth, the grinning face of his father, the sorrowful, beautiful face of his mother before she aged and died right before his eyes. And the cryo-knife, plunged to the hilt in the AllFather’s chest.
Gone. They’re both gone. I killed them both.
“Your mother’s death was not your fault,” Sylvan murmured and Xairn realized he’d spoken his desolate thoughts aloud. “And your father richly deserved what you gave him.”
Xairn shook his head. “I took her from the cage. If I’d left her in—”
“She still would have died,” Sylvan interrupted him. “The stasis holder can’t last forever. Once a subject is taken from such a long stasis, death is inevitable. There was nothing you could have done to save her, Xairn. I’m sorry.”
“I longed for her all my life and I got to see her for such a short time.” Xairn looked down at his hands. “I do not regret what I did to my father but I will never stop mourning for her. For my mother.”
“I know.” Sylvan put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “At a time like this, it’s best to try and share the pain with someone who cares for you. Lauren is waiting to see you—she just came up from Earth. She’s outside the door right now.”
“No!” Xairn sat bolt upright. “No, I won’t see her. Don’t let her in.”
“Really?” Sylvan looked perplexed. “But, Brother, she loves you.”
“I am not your brother and it doesn’t matter how Lauren feels about me. I won’t see her.” Xairn looked down at the hateful grey hue of his skin. “Send her away.” He wished he could use the power he’d had so briefly to force the other male to do as he asked. But he knew without even trying that it was gone—it had been pulled from him during his father’s death. His Scourge instincts and desires, however, still remained intact.
“Be reasonable,” Sylvan said softly. “She cares for you deeply and I know you care for her. At least speak to her.”
“You’re right.” Xairn looked up at him. “I do care for her. I love her—which is why I must never see her again.”
Sylvan frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Look at me.” Xairn held out his hands. “I am as I was before. The human DNA I had grafted to my own has been broken and replaced by my original Scourge genetic makeup.”
“Lauren won’t care about your appearance,” Sylvan said, shaking his head. “Such things are of no importance where love is concerned.”
“It is because I love her that I cannot see her.” Xairn sighed painfully. “It’s not just the way I look—it’s the way I feel. The way I’ll act if I’m not careful.” He looked at the other male. “You know what Scourge sexual practices are, do you not? The dominance and cruelty that is bred into our very genes?”
Sylvan looked troubled. “I do but I thought you must have found a way to circumvent those traits.”
“I did.” Xairn ran a hand through his hair. “It was the human DNA—that was what allowed me to control myself. Now that it’s gone I cannot trust myself around Lauren anymore. I can’t…can’t trust myself not to harm her.” He looked at his hands. “Surely you can understand.”
“I would simply tell you to get your DNA altered again but a second alteration isn’t possible after the first has failed.” Sylvan raised one pale blond eyebrow at him. “You truly fear you might hurt her?”
“I know I would,” Xairn said heavily. “And I love her too much to risk her safety. Please…have her returned to Earth.”
Sylvan nodded reluctantly. “I will but I’m afraid she won’t go easily. She’s very insistent about seeing you.”
“Do whatever you have to but send her away. I can’t see her.” Xairn shook his head. “In fact, I need to leave myself.”
He started to get up but Sylvan stopped him, pushing back against the pillows with one large hand. “That I cannot allow. You’re still weak and under my care. Until I discharge you from the med unit, you’ll have to stay here.”
“How much longer do I have to stay?” Xairn demanded. “I need to leave—need to get far away from here.”
“Don’t be so eager to leave the ones who care for you,” Sylvan said gently. “It doesn’t matter to us what you look like, we still consider you our brother. Now rest—I’ll try to handle Lauren.”
Xairn w
anted to get out of bed, to protest that he was well enough to leave. But the room began spinning around him again and his head dropped back on the pillows. Soon, he told himself, putting a hand over his arm. Soon I’ll leave and go far from here.
Where would he go? He had no idea but it didn’t really matter. He didn’t care where he went as long as he put enough distance between himself and Lauren. Enough that she could never, ever find him.
Chapter Thirty-eight
“Surprise!”
Lauren looked up to see Olivia, Sophia, and Kat walk in the door of the Sweet Spot. She waved at them, trying to smile. “Hi, you guys.”
“It’s not a surprise, Liv,” Sophia said as they came up to the counter. “I told her we were coming.”
“You did?” Olivia demanded. “Why?”
“So I could whip up a special treat for my pregnant cuz,” Lauren said. “Hang on, let me run in the back and get it.”
“Can I come with you?” Kat stepped forward, a curious look on her face. “I’ve always wanted to see what the inside of a bakery looks like.”
“Come on back.” Lauren nodded at her friend and beckoned her around the counter. “Would you two like to come too?” she asked her cousins.
“Uh, I think we’ll stay here and admire your creations.” Sophia nodded at her twin sister. Olivia’s eyes were glued to the glass cases in the front where the cupcakes Lauren had baked that morning were on display.
“Fine, pick some to take home while you’re at it.” Lauren nodded at them and then escorted Kat through the swinging metal door which led to the kitchen.
To her surprise, the moment they were alone, Kat grabbed her arm and looked into her eyes. “I know all about your problem with Xairn and I think I have a solution for you.”
“What?” Lauren looked at her with wide eyes. “If you know all about it then you’re one up on me. All I know is that he refuses to see me no matter…no matter what.” Her voice wavered but she couldn’t seem to help it. “It’s been three weeks now, Kat. I…I’ve about given up hope of changing his mind.”
Brides of the Kindred Volume One Page 162