Christmas With The Biker_Gold Vipers

by Cassie Alexandra

  When I arrived at my apartment, I cracked open a beer, threw a frozen pizza into the oven, and walked into the living room. As I glanced around, I noticed how cold and bare it looked, especially without a Christmas tree. Even Chloe’s place seemed more inviting and she still had unopened boxes sitting everywhere.

  I scowled and took a swig of my beer.

  Fuck Christmas decorations.

  I was not going to waste time or money on a damn tree. For one, I didn’t have enough ornaments, maybe a handful I’d made at school as a kid. For two, trees were outrageously expensive. Raptor had mentioned paying over one-hundred dollars for a real fucking tree. To me it was highway robbery, especially since you could only use it once. For three, I wasn’t in the mood for celebrating Christmas. I felt like it had fucked me over last year and it was already biting me in the ass. The only enjoyment I’d seen coming was the snowmobile trip and now those plans were out the window because of the damn holiday. To make matters worse, I was being forced to dress up in a ridiculous costume and pretend to be jolly.

  What a fucking nightmare.

  Christmas was supposed to be about giving and spending time with family and I was grateful to have found a new one. Even better, I now had the Gold Vipers, which should have been enough. But, it didn’t feel like it. The truth was I still felt empty inside and it was causing me to feel down-in-the-dumps. I wanted to shake it off. Tell myself that it was just a temporary setback. But I just couldn’t.

  I was too cynical at the moment.

  I guess it’s true about Christmas being one of the loneliest times of the year for many people. I would have never imagined myself being in that category, but here I was.

  Taking another sip of beer, I pulled out my phone and almost called Bonnie. Fortunately, I stopped myself; as lonely as I was feeling, my pride was still strong enough to keep me level. One night with Bonnie and I’d be under her spell again. I couldn’t afford to go down that road again.

  I turned on the television and saw a holiday commercial with a woman who reminded me of Chloe in a way.

  I sighed.

  Untouchable, classy, Chloe…

  I wondered if there was a man in her life, besides her ex-roommate. It was hard to imagine that a hot chick like her didn’t have a lot of guys sniffing around. Of course, beauty wasn’t skin deep and she could be very high maintenance or have some hidden baggage.

  I turned on a hockey game and told myself to forget about women for a while and enjoy my solitude. As lonely as it was, it was safe and stress free. Some people would kill for that during the holidays.

  Chapter 18

  Chloe

  I WOKE UP around eight the next morning and continued my arduous task of unpacking. By the time noon rolled around, I had my kitchen, and most of my bedroom, things put away. As I was breaking down some of the boxes, my telephone rang and I saw that it was Jessica.

  “Guess where I’m at?” she asked, a smile in her voice.

  “The hospital?”

  “No. I’m downtown with some of the Gold Vipers. We’re handing out Meet Santa fliers and hot cocoa. Even Jordan is out here.”

  “Is he wearing an elf suit?’ I asked, amused.

  “Hell, no. I am though.”

  “Tank called me last night and it looks like I may be relieving you of your duties in a couple of hours.”

  “That’s what I heard. I also heard that Graham was at your place last night,” she said.

  “Just for a few seconds.”

  I explained why he’d stopped over and told her about receiving the wrong costume.

  “You know, Tank was telling me that Graham is kind of a Grinch, which is why they’re forcing him to play Santa Claus this year.”

  My eyes widened. “He’s going to portray Santa?”

  “Yeah. Should be interesting, if what they’re saying is true.”

  “Huh. Well, he didn’t seem very grouchy to me. He was very polite and cordial.”

  “He’s always been very polite and we’ve had him over for dinner. I think it just has something to do with the holidays, him being a crab. Anyway, I think Tank sent him to your place because he’d learned about that kiss you two shared last year. I have a feeling he’s trying to play match-maker.”

  Now that surprised me.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I know you’re a little scared of him, because of the assault last year, but I just found out why he went to jail and even I couldn’t exactly blame him.”

  “What happened?”

  She explained that Graham had found his girlfriend in bed with a drug dealer and beat the hell out of him.

  “Yikes. That’s horrible.” And I couldn’t exactly blame him either.

  “Even worse, he was going to ask her to marry him. He’d even picked out a ring that day.”

  “You’re kidding? So, he was actually going to propose to her and instead found her cheating?” My heart went out to him. “That poor guy.”

  “I know, right? I can definitely see why he’s not in the Christmas spirit. Anyway, I think Tank’s trying to make the holidays more cheery for him by setting Graham up with you.”

  I was about to tell her that I wasn’t interested, but then realized it was a lie. I was more than interested. I’d been swooning over him since that kiss last year. Knowing why he was arrested made things much easier.

  “I know. You’re not interested, right?” she said with a sigh.

  “I’m not interested in jumping into a relationship with anyone, but,” I smiled. “I wouldn’t say ‘no’ if he asked me out.”

  She gasped. “Really? I can’t believe you’re actually coming around. You’ve been lonely long enough and he’s so sweet, from what I’ve seen. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that Tank is sending him over to pick you up later.”

  “He mentioned that he might send him,” I replied, looking at the clock. “Speaking of which, I think I’m going to take a shower and get ready.”

  “You go girl. Oh, maybe wear some sexy underwear. You know, just in case.”

  “Very funny,” I replied, but decided that it was good advice. One never knew and usually, the best sex was never planned.

  She laughed. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay.”

  Chapter 19

  Graham

  “YOU’VE GOT TO be kidding,” I said when Raptor handed me an elf costume to wear. It was a green and red tunic with a jester hat and white tights. “I mean dressing up as Santa is one thing, but now this? I’m going to look like a damn fool.”

  “Where’s your Christmas spirit?” he asked, looking so amused I wanted to punch him in the face.

  “What little I have is dying as we speak. Do I really have to do this?”

  “Don’t be a fucking pussy. Cleaner is out there, right now, wearing one of these costumes and handing out fliers. He made no complaints.”

  “That’s because he’s going to be snowmobiling soon,” I said. “While I’m stuck playing Frosty, The Gay Elf.”

  Raptor snorted. “Frosty was a Snowman. Not an elf. You should stop by later and watch some of the old Christmas movies with the kids. Get yourself re-educated.”

  I flipped him off and walked angrily to the bathroom.

  Ten minutes later, I stared at myself in the mirror and wanted to crawl into the drain hole. Floating with IT sounded like a better idea at the moment. The outfit was bad enough, but the tights took things to an entirely new level.

  “You ready to go?” Raptor called, pounding on the bathroom door. “Don’t forget. You’ve got to pick up Chloe and she’s going to need time to put her elf costume on.”

  Inhaling angrily, I picked up my clothes, opened the bathroom door, and gave him a venomous look.

  “Is the crankiness a low blood sugar problem? When was the last time you ate?” he asked.

  Gritting my teeth, I walked around him and headed toward the doorway.

  “He needs to get laid,” said Hoss, who was now standing next to the bar with
a smirk on his face. “Of course, I doubt he’ll get his dick waxed wearing that.”

  “Don’t be too sure. There’s a gay bar up the street,” Raptor said.

  I turned around and held up both my middle fingers.

  They laughed.

  “Glad you find this amusing,” I replied, opening up the door. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

  “Wait, you’re forgetting something,” Raptor said. He walked over with Chloe’s costume. “Cheer up. Even the Grinch managed to find some Christmas Spirit.”

  “He was tricked into it by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future,” I said dryly.

  “That was Ebenezer Scrooge. Raptor is right. You really do need to brush up on your holidays,” Hoss said.

  No. What I needed was a stiff drink.

  Chapter 20

  Chloe

  WHEN I OPENED the door and found Graham standing in the hallway dressed like he was, I couldn’t help it. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

  “Sure. Laugh all you want but you get to wear the same fucking thing,” he replied, sighing.

  I forced myself to try and be serious for his sake. The man was obviously miserable wearing what he was. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to be wearing that get-up.”

  “Believe me, neither was I,” he said, shoving a plastic bag at me. “Put this on and I’ll meet you out front.”

  “Uh, okay.”

  Graham turned on his heel and stormed off.

  “Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” I muttered, shutting the door.

  I opened up the bag and was relieved to find a velvet elf costume similar to Graham’s, this one with long sleeves and thick faux fur on the collar and cuffs. He might not have liked it, but I thought it was cute.

  Ten minutes later, I found him parked in front of the building in a big black SUV. I got into the passenger side and we took off.

  “So,” I said, breaking the silence. “Tank mentioned that there’d be reindeer?”

  “Caribou,” he corrected.

  “Oh. Is there a difference?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  I tried making a little more conversation, but he apparently wasn’t in a talking mood. After a while, his sulking even began to affect me.

  “You don’t mind if we stop at Mc Donald’s quickly?” he asked, when we were almost downtown. “I need some food.”

  “No. Go for it,” I said dully, looking away. We hadn’t talked in several minutes and I’d given up trying to lighten the mood.

  He let out a ragged sigh. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m in a shitty mood and shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”

  I turned and looked at him. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

  Graham grinned sheepishly. “Can I make it up to you with an eggnog shake?”

  “Good God, no. Those things give me gas.”

  “Nice. Let’s both have one and pick up my brother. He deserves to get crop-dusted.”

  I laughed. “Wow. All this because of the costume.”

  “He ruined my entire weekend.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I had plans to go snowmobiling and he put the kibosh on it. Now I get to hang out with snot-nosed kids and overly-zealous Christmas fanatics.”

  “Wow. Thanks.”

  “I did not mean you,” he replied, back-peddling. “Seriously.”

  “It’s okay. I love the holidays. I’m not ashamed of being a fanatic. Heck, I wish I had a house. I’d decorate the hell out of it. In fact, I’d probably be the annoying neighbor with the blinking lights and loud music.”

  He smirked. “If it’s the right kind, it wouldn’t be that annoying.”

  “Probably Trans-Siberian Orchestra.”

  “No AC-DC?”

  “I could throw that into the mix I suppose.”

  “Then I definitely would think twice before cutting the power cord.”

  “And what if I added some Ozzy or Metallica?”

  “I’d throw a kegger and set up a bunch of lawn chairs for my friends to watch.”

  I smiled.

  Graham pulled into a Mc Donald’s drive-through and ordered a Big Mac, a Fillet-of-Fish, a large fry, and a large chocolate shake.

  He turned to me. “You sure you don’t want anything?”

  “No. Thanks. I already ate.”

  After getting the food, we parked in the lot and he began to eat.

  “Sorry, to do this in front of you. I don’t usually eat in the morning and forgot to grab lunch,” he said, between bites of the Big Mac.

  “It’s no problem,” I replied as I watched him shovel food into his mouth. When he was finished with everything, Graham looked content and in a much better mood.

  “You’re not diabetic, are you?” I asked, wondering if that was why he’d been so grumpy.

  “No. Just an asshole who shouldn’t take out his shit on other people.”

  “That’s always a good rule of thumb.”

  “I’ll try to remember it next time.”

  I thought back again to when he’d been arrested and wondered if he seriously really was a hothead.

  “You and Jordan and Raptor really are brothers, huh?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “Yeah. We’re going to take a DNA test after the holidays. But, the more time I spend with them, the more obvious it is.”

  “They both Holiday Grinch Monsters like you?”

  He grinned. “Not that I can tell. It’s our first Christmas together, so I guess I’ll find out. Although, they both have kids and I think that kind of forces a person to be festive during the holidays.”

  “So, you’re saying that once you have kids, you’ll probably lighten up?”

  “I’m never having kids, so I don’t know.”

  “Never?”

  “To tell you the truth, I don’t care much for children. These days, most of them are self-deserving, whiny little shits.”

  Ouch. “They can be, but that’s usually a parent’s fault for indulging them.”

  “And society’s fault for making it harder for them not to.”

  “Maybe. But, it still falls on the parent’s shoulders to raise them to be responsible and not expect the world at their feet,” I replied, thinking of the children I’d seen in the cancer ward. Almost every one of them were happy to just be free of pain and didn’t whine about not having the latest toy or video game. All they wanted was more time, which was worth more to them than material objects.

  “That’s true. Another reason why I don’t want kids. Trying to do that would be stressful and I have no patience.”

  “It wouldn’t just be you raising them,” I replied.

  “Probably not, but I’d be the one laying down the ground rules.”

  “Because you’re the guy?” I asked with a smirk.

  “Honestly? Yeah. Women are generally too soft with their kids.”

  “Funny, I’ve heard many say the opposite. Especially, when a man has a daughter.”

  “If I had a daughter, I’d probably spoil her,” he admitted. “But, I’d also become too overly protective, so she’d end up hating me in the long run.”

  “I doubt she’d hate you,” I replied, amused. “She’d probably be as stubborn as you, though. I imagine there’d be a lot of arguing.”

  “Good point. Sounds like more stress than I’m willing to handle.”

  We talked more about his nieces and nephews and with all of his talk about kids being ‘little shits’, he obviously adored them in his own way.

  When we arrived downtown, Graham drove to the large park in the center of the city. It was decorated with festive lights, wreathes and bows. Standing around a small, portable fire-pit were Jessica and a man I didn’t recognize. Both were dressed in elf costumes. There was also a stranger tending to the reindeer, or whatever they were supposed to be, and two older women passing out hot drinks. I recognized one of them as Frannie, Jessica’s mother.

  As we got out of th
e SUV, I heard holiday music and saw a group of carolers nearby singing Christmas songs. It was almost magical and I was happy to have volunteered.

  “Yaay! You’re finally here,” Jessica said, giving me a hug. “It seems like I’ve been waiting hours for you to show up.”

  “We stopped at Mc Donald’s,” I replied, looking at my phone. It had just turned two o’clock, so we were still on time.

  “Cleaner, this is Chloe,” Jessica said, introducing me to the tall, burly looking elf standing next to her, ringing a bell.

  He smiled warmly. “Well, hello there. It’s good to see more fellow elves.”

  “Hi,” I replied, thinking that he was kind of cute, especially with his dimples.

  Cleaner looked at Graham and whistled. “Look at those legs. You must work out.”

  I had to admit, Graham’s legs looked pretty muscular in the tights. Like a male ballet dancer.

  Graham gave him a dirty look.

  Cleaner laughed and shook his head. “Sorry you have to partner with Mr. Grumpy here.”

  Graham gave Cleaner the finger.

  “Brother, there are children walking around here,” Cleaner replied with faux shock. “Have some discretion.”

  Fortunately, there was only one girl about seven and she was too busy looking at the caribou to notice.

  “Hi, Graham. Hi, Chloe,” Frannie called out from the stand, where they were serving the hot drinks. “Come and get something to drink.”

  “I’ll be right there,” I said, smiling back.

  “How’s it going Frannie?” Graham said loudly.

  “Better… now that you’re here,” she said, giving him a wink.

  “She’s sweet on you,” Cleaner teased in a low voice.

  “Hell, yeah, she is,” Jessica said, smiling. “She’s always like, ‘Graham this’ and ‘Graham that’.”

  “She’s a very nice woman and I don’t mind running errands for her,” Graham replied.