Lettuces and Cream

by John Evans

  Jan stirred at the talk of money, ‘I thought the builder was supposed be here last week?’

  ‘He was, if he doesn’t turn up soon I’ll have to try and get someone else. We can’t go on and on waiting like this. Of course if the phone was in I could nag him every day.’

  ‘Well at least we know the phone is on its way.’

  ‘Uh, with our luck I’m not holding my breath.’ Mike sounded uncharacteristically down beat. The foul weather was depressing him.

  ‘Well, we’ll just have to wait and see.’ Jan sounded equally fed up, and Mike changed the subject.

  ‘How’s the pantomime coming on, love? Be extra rehearsals soon, I expect.’

  ‘Yeah should be soon, it’s up to Colin really, he’s the chap that’s producing it.’

  ‘If you’re Prince Charming who’s playing Cinderella?’

  ‘You’ll never guess – Chris.’

  ‘Blimey she’s a bit old for that isn’t she?’

  ‘Well I’m hardly young either, but the trouble is, we’re short of young girls.’

  ‘Well, as Keith himself would say, ‘As the bishop said to the Archdeacon.’

  Mike laughed at his witty remark, but didn’t notice the somewhat embarrassed expression on Jan’s face. It was rather like the look a naughty child would have when discovered doing something, well – naughty.

  FIFTEEN

  ‘Typical, the very day that I’m going into Llanbed the weather is dry. I wanted to start cutting down the overgrown hedges around the tunnel field this week. Now that the clocks have gone back the days are so damned short, it’s such a waste of time.

  ‘Never mind, love – it’s got to be done, we don’t want to upset the Bank manger do we?’

  ‘No, I know, I know it’s got to be done. I suppose I’d better get going. It’s nearly nine, by the time I get there the bank should be open, and I’ll be back for elevenses. Anything you want in town?’

  ‘A fivers worth of fifty pound notes would be nice,’ Jan joked in a somewhat ironic manner.

  ‘Oo that’s very good, Darl, I must remember that one. Okay I’m off.’

  With Mike out and the children back at school, Jan began tidying the house. But keeping the place tidy and clean wasn’t easy. Upstairs wasn’t so bad but downstairs the battle against the mud and dirt was never ending. The large hallway and the kitchen were the worse, and the stone tiled floor was constantly streaked with mud. But Jan set to the mindless task in the best humour she could muster.

  Mike was once again waiting to be ushered into the managers’ spacious plush office. He was feeling nervous. Not so much of the manager, although he had heard frightening tales of bombastic managers from his mates back in Barey. However, this one seemed, so far, sympathetic and reasonable. Mikes nervousness was generated by the fact that he didn’t like the idea of his future being in the hands of someone else.

  ‘The manager will see you now Mr Jones’

  Jan was having a break from her floor washing and enjoying a welcoming cup of tea. Unlike Mike she preferred tea and a biscuit, rather than coffee and toast for her elevenses. She had the Jimmy Young show blaring out from the radio, so didn’t hear at first the rapping on the ancient wood of the front door.

  ‘Mrs Jones?’

  ‘Hello, yes, sorry, I didn’t hear you,’ Jan apologised.

  ‘That’s okay, Mrs Jones, bit off the track aren’t you I bet you don’t get many people bothering you out here do you?’ He said, looking around the yard and fields as he spoke, and sounded quite envious of the fact.

  ‘Yes it’s very quiet,’ Jan agreed and wondered who he was, and what he wanted.

  ‘Well, I’m from Post Office Telecommunications, bit of a mouthful I know. I don’t know who thinks up these names, G.P.O was much easier,’ the poor man sounded embarrassed at the title. ‘Anyway we’ve come to fit a phone’

  ‘Oh yes a phone at last,’ Jan’s face shone with excitement, ‘Oh great, that’s marvellous, we really need one out here. I was just having a cup of tea do want one?’

  ‘No thanks love, me and my mate better crack on. We want to be back in Shrewsbury by dark.’

  ‘You’ve come a long way haven’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, bit of a drive,’ he laughed, ‘okay, we’ll start running the cable out and sort the house end last, okay?’

  ‘That’s great; if you change your mind about a cuppa, give me a shout.’

  ‘Shall do, thanks,’ he gave a little wave and off he went.

  ‘Well, Mr Jones, if you can start the building work before Christmas, I think an extension of the overdraft won’t be a problem.’ The mangers blue eyes twinkled a little behind his spectacles, and he gave a sardonic smile, Mike breathed a sigh of relief. He had found the manager a cheerful enough fellow, in his fifties and not at all threatening. He then gave Mike a rather stern look and continued, ‘of course you do understand that without much income to service the interest charges they could mount so I shall be watching the account carefully.’

  Ah, the bitter and the sweet, thought Mike, but he was relieved that the overdraft wasn’t being called in.

  ‘Thanks a lot, Mr Morgan, thank you.’

  As Mike approached the house along the track, he could see a splash of bright yellow showing through the trees surrounded the yard, and he wondered what the hell it could be - A giant buttercup didn’t seem a realistic possibility. As he came into the yard his stomach gave a lurch of expectation. Standing in the yard was the newly liveried yellow Telecommunications van. The phone people were here at last.

  ‘What time did they get here,’ Mike took a bite of his morning toast.

  ‘It wasn’t long after you left, actually, great isn’t it, and do you know they come all the way from Shrewsbury?’

  ‘Bloody hell, hell of a long way, you’d think there would be a base closer than that wouldn’t you?’

  ‘Suppose so,’ Jan said with disinterest, and continued, ‘oh yes while you were in town, Emlyn called with two sacks of potatoes –our pay for the picking.’

  ‘Oh great, that’ll save a bob or two. Any way, do you want some more good news?’

  Jan had already realised from his expression what the news would be. In a way she didn’t want to know about a bigger debt.

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Yep, if we can start the building work before Christmas, he’ll extend the overdraft.’

  ‘That’s great love,’ Jan said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could.

  ‘More toast?’

  ‘Yes please, that would be nice.’

  Mike was looking forward to the evening sit down when he could start planning for the next batch of tunnels. He might even buy that chainsaw, and materials for doing up parts of the house that wouldn’t be affected by any rebuilding work. Yes, he was once again in optimistic mood, although he had already learned not to count his chickens, or if it came to that count his pigs, too soon. The harsh realities of raising stock and crops were lessons he had to remember. Looking after animals and plants wasn’t like producing stuff in a factory. He couldn’t simply manufacture a lettuce or a saleable pig, he had to wait for it to grow. Out here Nature was the boss and he was at the mercy of the weather and other unknowns. And of course money was the biggest problem of all. They simply hadn’t started out with enough capital of their own, and despite all their hard work and enthusiasm they could find themselves in deep trouble. If that scenario appeared on the horizon, they would have to brave and cut short their dreams long before they reached the point of no return.

  ‘Right, better get changed into my working gear. I think I’ll have a look at what those blokes are up to before I start on those hedges.’

  ‘As soon as I finish these floors I’ll come and help you stack the hedge trashings.’

  ‘Okay Darl, that’ll be a help, we can burn them later on when they’re dry.’

  By the time he got outside the phone men were approaching the house and he gave them a cheerful wave.

/>   ‘Mr Jones?’

  ‘Yep. That’s me.’

  ‘We’re just stopping for a break and then we’ll run the cable into the house.’

  ‘That’s okay the missus is in, if she’s not, just carry on anyway.’

  ‘Where do you want it?’

  ‘In the hall I suppose, the rest of the place is going to be knocked about a bit soon – I hope.’

  ‘We could mount it on the wall if you like.’

  ‘I hadn’t though of that. That would great it’s out of the way then isn’t it. But you’d better check it with the boss when you go in,’ Mike smiled.

  ‘Righto, Mr Jones, know what you mean, women eh? Okay we’ll have that cuppa now. Oh, by the way is that your cow in the field by the track?’

  ‘The little brown Jersey? Yeah that’s ours.’

  ‘Well it was looking a bit funny when we passed. Looked as though something was hanging out of the back end.’

  Mike reacted like an expectant father dithering this way and that, not knowing which to do first, tell Jan or run to the field. He did both.

  ‘It’s front legs are out, it’s in the right position, thank God, or it would be a job for the vet. I hope I remember what to do. I used to see this a lot when I was a school kid, and my mate lived on a farm. But I’ve never done anything myself’

  ‘I wish the kids were here Mandy would love seeing this, but don’t cows calve without any help?’ Jan said.

  ‘Depends on how big the calf is. Sometimes you have to help them a bit by pulling the calf. I’m just glad its daylight, any later and it will be as black as hell out here.’

  The cow was standing, and sort of shaking a little from side to side, she gave a low moan and gave another push.

  ‘Oh look, the head is coming, I can see it’s nose,’ Jan said excitedly, I wonder if it’s a girl or a boy.’

  ‘I think we’ll help her a bit, You hold one of the calves leg and I’ll have the other.’They both took the best grip they could on the warm, slippery and mucus covered legs of the calf.

  ‘When she pushes, give a nice even pull - don’t yank.’ They waited for her to push again and pulled. Plop, the steaming little bundle was on the grass. He wiped the mucus from it’s nose and it gave a little cough and a shake of its head. It was alive.

  ‘It’s lovely Mike, but it’s ever so little though - it’s all legs. Who’s a clever girl, Primrose? It’s a bit small when you think how big she’s looked. Still, it’s coat will dry and fluff up soon, it will look bigger then I expect.’

  Mother cow turned and began licking and gently nudging her baby with her head. Soon, the soggy heap struggled to its feet and tottered about on its spindly legs. Mike and Jan smiled at each other, ‘bloody great, love, eh? Our first calf. We’ll get them in the barn for the night so it can dry out. We don’t want it getting cold.’ Mike knew full well that it wasn’t really necessary to coddle them, but never the less liked the idea of pampering them a little.

  ‘Is it a boy or a girl,’ Jan asked.

  Mike laughed, he found Jan’s anthropomorphism amusing, ‘it’s an heifer –a girl.’

  ‘Primrose doesn’t look very happy, Mike.’

  Primrose had started mooing and swaying her back-end about again. Mike took another look at the business end.

  ‘Bloomin’ heck Jan, I think she’s having another one. No wonder the first one was so small. How about that? It’s twins.’

  ‘Another one?’ Jan was equally credulous, ‘twins?’

  Twenty minutes later another bedraggled little beast was being licked and nudged by a very surprised mother.

  ‘They’re small and very weak on their legs; we’ll definitely put them in for the night. At least until they are a bit stronger, and I think we ought to get one of those Infra-red heat lamp things, it’s not that warm in the barn at night.’

  ‘Where are we going to get one of those?’

  ‘I bet Keith will have one; I’ll drive over and see if I can borrow one. I tell you what love, you put plenty of straw down in the barn and when I get back we can take them in,’ he paused, and grinned.

  ‘What are you smirking about now?’ Jan asked.

  ‘Well I was thinking, we could always take them into the house like Mucky Mary from Llanddewi Brefi.’ They both laughed at that idea.

  Mike drove to Keith’s place puffing very happily on a cigarette. What an outstanding day. Twin calves, marvellous. They could be worth as much a two hundred pound each in a few months time – if they survived. And this would more than compensate for the loss of the two piglets.

  As he drove into Keith’s yard, he had a surprise. Chris, and a man he didn’t recognize, were on the doorstep - kissing. What the hell is going on here? They’re a bit more than good friends I reckon. So she is at it. Mike smiled; it’s the same the whole world over, eh? He was pleased that his intuitiveness about human relationships were accurate, and his idea that she was a ‘goer,’ proved right. They separated in a rush when they saw Mikes van and began giving innocent little waves to each other as the man got into his car and drove out of the yard at speed.

  Mike got out of the van and called across the yard, ‘Hi Chris, is Keith about?’

  ‘No Mike sorry, he’s away until Friday. Can I help?’

  He was at her front door now and giving Chris a close look. She looked a little flushed and her hair was a bit messed. She gave Mike an equally inquiring gaze, and her voice dropped to a suggestive murmur.

  ‘Can I help, is there anything I can do, for you, Mike.’

  Her manner caught him by surprise, God, is she making a pass at me now? Nah, women don’t do that to me, but there again I’ve had my moments. Wow, the possibility gave him a kick in his loins. This could be my chance; I think she’s trying to buy me off – make sure I keep my trap shut. Almost before the thought was in his head, he had a huge surge of guilt. No, Jan and I don’t want to start all that again. They were living a different life now and he felt they were closer than they had ever been. Sod it; I haven’t got time for all this. And besides, Keith’s a big bloke with fists the size of buckets.

  ‘I’m on the scrounge for a heat lamp. We’ve had twin calves born and they’re a bit small so I’m taking them in for shelter until they pick up a bit.’

  Her countenance changed and she went into farming mode. ‘That’s great news Mike, twins, that’s really unusual and if they’re small it’s a good idea to take them in, and I’ve got a feeding bottle I can lend you as well. It might be a good idea to give them some of the cows’ milk by bottle until they can stand properly.’

  ‘Okay, thanks Chris, I better get going, it gets dark so early.’

  ‘Yeah, I’ll get them for you right now, any problems give us a ring. Oh no, you can’t can you?’

  ‘Well, I hope we can by tonight. The phone blokes are putting it in today.’

  ‘You are having a busy day, Mike.’

  ‘Nothing new there, Chris,’ Mike laughed.

  ‘Do you know what your number is?’

  ‘Not ‘til I get back home.’

  ‘No matter I’ll get it from Janice when I pick her up tonight.’

  ‘Okay Chris, I’m away. Oh I nearly forgot. Have you got some hay I could buy?’

  ‘I should think so, I’ll ask Keith when he gets back.’

  ‘Great, no rush, see you then.’

  Chris gave a wave as he left the yard and stood for a moment wondering if Mike would tell Jan about her ‘visitor.’ Still, there was nothing she could do about it now. But perhaps, if he hadn’t been in such a hurry, she might have bribed him with a visit to her lilac heaven.

  Back home Jan had finished preparing the area for Primrose and her calves and had wandered over to the Pinky’s pen. She suddenly realised that two were missing. Had someone stolen them? Where the hell were they? She heard Mike driving into the yard and went out to tell him the news…

  ‘I’m sorry love, I should have told you before, but I didn’t want to spoil our day out in Aber
soch.’

  ‘You should tell me these things Mike. It wasn’t your fault after all, it’s just nature I suppose. Survival of the fittest and all that.’

  Their chat was interrupted by a shout from outside the barn.

  ‘Mr Jones, ah, there you are, right the phone is in and working. Your number is Llanbeth 622. I’ve left all the details on the kitchen table, okay?’

  ‘That’s great, thanks mate,’ Mike replied with gratitude.

  ‘Oh, and in case you’re wondering why there are no telegraph poles, for the time being we’ve laid the cable on the surface of the fields and up to the Top road. Another team will come and put it underground – it’s cheaper than poles, but I’ve no idea when- sometime or other I expect.’ He gave a smile that said, ‘don’t hold your breath mate.’

  ‘That’s great, thanks a lot, bye,’ Jan and Mike said in unison.

  And with a cheerful toot from their yellow van, they were off.

  ‘Bags I first go with the phone’ Jan said playfully, ‘I want to ring mum and dad and give them our number.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll let you win, seeing that you’re a cow midwife now. Anyhow lets get Primrose in the barn, the kids will be home soon.’

  What a day they were having. Had Mike been a musical sort of chap he might have rendered a few bars of ‘What a Difference a Day Makes.’ But then again, he had already learned to be cautious with his joy. They were living a roller coaster life, but hardly recognised the fact because they were too busy getting on with their ‘quiet’ country living.

  The children had adapted to their new life amazingly well, despite their often unpleasant daily trek across muddy fields to catch the school mini bus. Wellingtons were a must on wet days and they would change into shoes in the derelict old farmyard and leave them in a tumbledown shed. Not the average school run, and Mike and Jan were very proud of their offspring.

  Later that afternoon, Jan was in a good mood and preparing food with her hands, and her mind for her acting and singing role in the pantomime - such a contrast with pulling calves from cows. And of course there was Chris. Jan was now allowing Chris to pick her up for reasons of economy. Chris insisted on collecting her and Jan reasoned that she could afford the petrol. Jan was simply saving money - at least, that’s what she told herself…