It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3

by Krystal Armstead

  I just sat there, heart racing in my chest. I’ll admit I was tired of living the fast life. I wanted a man to call my own, not a man who called me when he needed his dick sucked. “I want him to love me, Ashton, and he doesn’t.” I finally admitted.

  Ashton shook his head. “Well then move on. Next, shit.”

  “That’s what I’ve been doin’, Ashton!” I replied.

  “Naw, you’ve just been fuckin’ niggas, and you back to fuckin’ bitches, too, apparently. That ain’t love and you know it. You want somebody to fuck you? Shit, I could have done that. I got a dick, too, shit.” Ashton looked at me.

  I looked at him, trying not to grin. “Naw, baby, you can’t handle this pussy. I’m tellin’ you, she’ll make you fall in love with the quickness.”

  “I’m already in love, Charlie, you know that. And that’s what you’re running from. It’s cool, though.” Ashton closed the photo album, exhaling deeply. “Don’t mind me. I’ve been in my feelings since my baby left me.”

  I looked at him. I had to know about the kiss. “Ashton? Have we ever kissed?”

  He looked at me.

  “I mean before the other day, have we ever kissed?” I asked.

  Ashton hesitated. “Naw, not that I can remember.”

  I sighed, running my fingers through my hair anxiously. “Well, lately, I’ve been having these flashbacks of memories that I never even knew existed. Are you sure we’ve never kissed before?”

  Ashton shook his head, then made a face like he was a little puzzled himself. “It’s funny that you ask that question though, because for a little over a year and a half, I have been having this dream that you and I were at this party out in Severn, at that little white girl’s house who used to be on y’all’s dance team before she got sick. You remember Misty Daniels, right?”

  I looked at Ashton. Misty used to be my home girl. She could dance her little ass off. She got real sick one year in high school and had to be homeschooled. That didn’t stop us from going to see her. She threw the hottest parties, and if you wanted to get high, she had the party favors that could get you higher than a got-damn kite. “Yeah, I remember The Supplier, the leader of the ‘Mile High’ crew. She used to be my rider, for real! We haven’t hung with her in a minute.”

  “Well, in this dream I had, we were at one of her parties, and you and I slept together.” Ashton eyed my thighs for a few seconds.

  I looked at him. “Slept together? So you’re having fantasies about me, Ashton?”

  Ashton looked back into my face. “This wasn’t just any ol’ fantasy, shorty. I mean, it felt so real, and it was so vivid. I can smell you, taste you, and feel you. I remember the dress you wore, the color of your nail polish, the perfume that you had on. I mean, yo, it’s the exact same dream over and over.” Ashton’s eyes searched my face. “I mean, we did go to a few of her parties the year before last, right?”

  “I vaguely remember those parties, Ashton.” My heart pounded in my chest. Something wasn’t right. Something happened. Something must have happened. “When you kissed me, Ashton, I started having all of these flashbacks. This can’t be a coincidence, Ashton.” I laughed a little. “You don’t do drugs, and I stopped doing drugs years ago—well, except for a little weed every and then—so, what is going on?”

  Ashton grinned a little. “Maybe we slept together in a past life.” Ashton joked.

  “Come on, this isn’t a joking matter. Seriously, Ashton, when could this have happened?” My pussy started to throb just thinking about Ashton’s warm lips all over me.

  “It didn’t.” Ashton shrugged.

  “But why are you dreaming about it? And why is it that from the moment you kissed my lips, my mind went straight back to another time that we kissed? Yes, it felt real. And no, this can’t be a coincidence. Why did you kiss me in the car the other day anyway, Ashton? You caught me off guard, didn’t even give me the chance to say no.” I shook my head at him, putting Jamie’s contract away in the kitchen drawer.

  Ashton just looked at me, not having too much to say.

  I shook my head, “Ashton, baby, you don’t need to be with me. You’re just confused. I never did nothing good to or for you, other than sucking your dick back when you were fourteen. My head game wasn’t that tight, Ashton, for you to still be sprung after all these years. You want your dick sucked? Is that what you want? Come on then; pull it out.”

  Ashton laughed out loud. “Naw, Charlie! I mean, yeah, but—”

  I punched him as hard as I could in his shoulder. “Asshole!”

  Ashton was dying laughing. I hadn’t seen him laugh that way in over a year. He was too cute. He was my buddy. I loved him like he was a part of me, and I didn’t want to lose him as my friend. He had been there for me for as long as I could remember. I would only end up hurting him if he got involved with me.

  And just when I started to ask him for another kiss, ya know, for possibly old-time’s sake, I heard my son crying over the baby monitor. I looked at the television monitor that sat on my island countertop. He was tossing in his crib.

  I sighed. “I’ll be right back, Ashton.” I hurried out of the kitchen and rushed as fast as I could up the steps. My son had been fussy for the past few days. His nose was running, and he was feeling warm. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but my mother said he was fine and it was probably just a cold, so I just moved his crib into my room so that I could keep an eye on him. When I got to my room, my li’l bright boy was standing in his crib, rubbing his eyes.

  I smiled as I picked him up, and he lay his head on my shoulder, curly hair brushing against my cheek. “Hey, li’l bright boy. You okay? Did you have a good nap?” I bounced him on my shoulder, soothing him, running my fingers through his hair. I turned to see Ashton standing in the doorway, watching me with little August. I grinned as Lilia came up behind Ashton, moving him out of the way a little.

  “Señorita, I’m sorry, I was helping the housekeeper fold the linens. Do you need me to take Agosto to get a snack?” Lilia approached me, holding out her hands to take August from my arms.

  I sighed as he reached for her, then laid his head on her shoulder. I felt bad that August was so close to everyone in the house. He loved me, but I was always occupied with modeling and my social life to spend as much time with him as I should have. He spent more time with Jamie and my mother than he did with me. Jamie had a very hectic life, but he always made time for little August. I don’t think there was a time that I asked Jamie to keep our son that Jamie didn’t say yes to. I felt like a bad mother, seriously.

  Lilia looked at Ashton as she left the room. The bitch had the nerve to roll her eyes at him.

  Ashton grinned, looking at me. “Whoa, what the fuck I do to piss the nanny off?”

  I rolled my eyes, “That bitch has been lookin’ at me sideways for the past few months. I don’t know, but if the bitch keeps it up, I’m lettin’ her ass go. Adios.”

  Ashton laughed a little walking into my bedroom. He looked around. “It’s nice in here, shorty. So this is where you bring the niggas?” He joked, approaching me.

  I pushed past him. “Boy, bye.” I walked over to my dresser to pick out whichever bra and panties would go with my outfit. I planned on wearing a strapless romper and heels to meet my manager and her crew. If Ashton was gonna stand there and watch me try on clothes when I had already told his ass to wait for me downstairs, shit, it was alright with me. I had to meet my crew in just an hour and a half for dinner, and I wasn’t halfway near being ready. My hair took the longest since I wanted to wear it straight those days. I changed right in front of him, pulling my tank top up and over my head. I tossed my shirt to him, standing there in nothing but booty shorts.

  You should have seen the awestruck look on his face. The nigga was speechless, but he looked like he wanted to take his shirt off, too. His eyes danced from one 34D to the next.

  “So, which bar are y’all going to?” I slipped out of my shorts and tossed those to him, too, then w
alked over to one of my walk-in (more like live-in) closets.

  Ashton cleared his throat. “Ummm.” I could feel his eyes on my ass cheeks. “The Power Trip, that new bar out in Columbia.” He muttered, standing in the closet doorway, watching me bend over to get a shoe box that contained the new burgundy Burberry heels that I had just ordered.

  I squatted down on the floor to remove the heels from the box, then slowly stood back up as I tried the shoes on to see how they looked. I stood there topless, in a burgundy thong and burgundy heels. I tossed my hair over my shoulders, looking at the full-length mirror in my closet. Yup, these look good, I thought as I kicked the shoes back off. I started going through my clothes to find my blue jean romper.

  “Well, we’re supposed to be going to Simons, that restaurant near the Harbor. They’re really excited about this makeup line. We leave out tomorrow afternoon for New Orleans. We’re going out to eat first, then maybe hit the club. The way my manager’s wife and her friends party, shit, we’ll probably be out all night. I’d ask you to come with me, but you already have plans.” I looked up at Ashton. He wasn’t paying my voice any attention. His eyes traced my entire body. I grinned as I went back to searching for my romper. “Do you like what you see, Ashton?”

  Ashton scoffed. “Do I like what I see? Shit, I want what I see. Why you playin’?”

  I grinned a little, as I found the outfit and removed it from the hanger. I threw it over my shoulder, then walked toward Ashton on my way out of the closet. He just stood there, standing in my way, looking down at me. “Ashton, are we done here? I really have to get ready to meet Golden, Serena, and them.”

  “Charlene, why won’t you let me love you?” Ashton’s light eyes looked my body over. “I can do it a hell of a lot better than these niggas you let up in you. These niggas ain’t shit compared to me. They just wanna fuck you; I wanna take care of you.”

  I really wasn’t in the mood to hear about some nigga telling me how much he’d love me and how much he could do for me. I’d heard enough from Jamie and the rest of the niggas. Jamie was a certified sweet-talker. He could get any woman to drop her panties with the quickness. I’d met my match when I met Jamie. He was driving me crazy. I was beginning to lose myself, and I hated it.

  I rolled my eyes at Ashton, folding my arms, looking up into his face. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Ashton?”

  Ashton unfolded my arms, pulling me closer to him by my hands. “I am where I’m supposed to be.” He gently kissed my lips.

  My body jumped. I tried pulling from him, but my heart pulled me in. Ashton surrounded me in his arms, lips sucking the life out of mine. “Ashton,” I whispered in between kisses, “we’re friends, best friends. We can’t do—we can’t do this.”

  “We’re already doing it, Charlene.” Ashton peeled his lips from mine.

  “I don’t wanna lose you. I don’t wanna hurt you. I care about you too much.” I whispered, looking up into his face, watching him lick my kiss from his lips. “You’re all I got right now, and I can’t lose you. I’m not the type of girl you need.”

  “You’re everything I need. Your smile, your eyes, your thighs, your style, the way you talk, the way you walk, your personality—I want it all.” Ashton kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my lips, my chin. Oh, he was so adorable.

  “I can’t lose you as my friend. I don’t want this to change our status. Please don’t let this change what we are.” I begged him.

  He ignored me. “You wanted to know if we’ve done this before, right? Let’s see if it all comes back.” He gripped my waist in his hands. Those hands, I remembered that touch. I remembered how his lips felt against mine. As he slid his hands around my ass, sliding his hands into my panties, I started to unbuckle his belt. We didn’t have much time; we both had somewhere to be. He backed me up against the wall of the closet, sliding down my panties, lips sucking on my neck.

  I wanted to see it; I had to see his dick as he lowered his pants, revealing his dark blue boxers. I slid his boxers down as his erection revealed itself to me. Ashton had the biggest got-damn dick I’d ever seen. Whoa, it sure had changed a lot in the last six years. It had gone from a polo sausage to a fuckin’ Airwick air freshener can. Yeah, I damn sure had to be drunk or high or some shit to attempt to let him put that shit anywhere near me let alone up in me. My eyes widened as he lifted my body up, bracing me against the wall of the closet.

  Ashton looked up into my face as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He watched the way my lips trembled and my eyes searching his face. “Nigga, are you serious?” was written all over my face. I braced myself.

  “Charlene Campbell is finally scared of the dick, huh?” He grinned, biting his lip, looking up into my face. “You can take it. Don’t be scared.”

  I gasped as Ashton eased his way in, one hand gripping my thigh, the other hand gripping my ass, digits in the crack of my ass. I screamed out as he shoved it as far as it would go. I grabbed onto him with all of my might, damn near passing out. My knees shook. I tightened my thighs. And the whole time he’s stroking me, he’s looking me in the face. And slowly but surely, whatever memory I had of whatever happened was coming back.

  “Why can’t I be the only one you give this to you, Charlene?” Ashton moaned, slipping a finger into my ass.

  I remembered the smell of his cologne that night. I remember he was wearing a black baseball cap, a black and white long-sleeved Nike shirt, black baggy jeans, and black and white Nikes. Why did I remember all that if it hadn’t happened? Why was it so vivid in my mind all of a sudden?

  I gripped the back of his neck, screaming out, Ashton thrusting in and out of me. He backed me away from the wall a few inches until my shoulders were leaning against it. I wound my hips in slow circles, causing him to slow down a little so I could handle the dick. That nigga was hitting all the right spots. His dick knew exactly where my G-spot was; he didn’t need any help.

  My mind flashed to me giggling because Ashton was sucking on my nipples, giggling himself. I remember smelling the alcohol on his breath. I remember holding a plastic cup of red punch in my hands. I remember popping Drunk Gummy Bears.

  “Charlene, I love you. Do you feel me?” He braced me back up against the way. “I said do you fuckin’ feel me?” He thrust harder and a little faster.

  “Yes!” I screamed out.

  My mind flashed to Ashton playing in my pussy, rubbing my clit, kissing my inner pussy lips. I remember him smacking my ass, hitting it from the back. I remember being on my stomach, biting the pillow, begging him to stop.

  My legs went limp around Ashton’s waist, but he held my thighs, holding me up. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as Ashton dug into me as fast as he could. It was the most intense quickie that I’d ever had. His dick caused temporary paralysis. The stimulation to my clitoris was amazing. I don’t know how many times I came, but the orgasms came in multiples of three. Though it was meant as a moment of instant gratification, he made love to me. He held me, he stroked me, he looked at me, he saw me, and he loved me. Oh my goodness, he was confusing me, and y’all know I’m confused enough as it is.

  I gripped his ass as he dug into me, dick tapping against my cervix, damn near bursting through it. Ashton buried his face in my neck as his dick grew thicker and harder. I knew it had been a while since he’d had sex from the amount of pressure I felt from his cum, as it spit out against my cervix at thirty miles per hour. His entire body shook up against mine. Though he’d come, his dick was still pretty firm, and I’m pretty sure he could have used a round two, but I couldn’t take it.

  He looked up into my face, and I looked down into his. He lowered my body a little, my breasts pressed against his shirt, my heart pounding against his chest. He wanted to do it again. I knew he wanted to call his boys and tell them to fuck that bar; he was fuckin’ me that night.

  He lowered me to the floor. My legs were wobbly. I braced my back up against the wall, panting, watching him pull up his boxers, then pull up
his pants.

  My pussy was calling his name. He was the fourth person that I’d had sex with that day, and it was the first time that I was ashamed of myself. I felt like such a slut, such a ho, such a freak. I had a different nigga every day of the week, and all he wanted was me. Our body chemistry fit like a hand in a glove. Our encounter was brief, but the way he held me, I wanted more. I wanted him. I needed my best friend.

  “Ashton, baby, we did this before. I don’t know when, but it happened.” I whispered, watching him zip his pants then buckle his belt.

  “I can’t imagine when, Charlie.” Ashton looked at me, “but you’re right. It had to have happened. We went to so many parties. Maybe someone put some shit in our drink. Who knows? Let’s just let it go and move on. It’s happening now, and that’s all I’m worried about.”

  My lips trembled. Boy, my heart was pounding. Things were going to change between us, I could just feel it. Feelings were going to intertwine. He was going to get hurt if he thought I was going to all of a sudden be his girlfriend. “Ashton, just because this happened doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. You know that right? You know this doesn’t mean that I’m your girlfriend, right?”

  Ashton grinned, pulling me to him by my hips, “I’m gonna make you love me one way or another, Charlene, but I’m not stupid enough to think that this one moment means that you’re my girl. It’s gonna take more than this to get to you, and I know that. I’m not dumb.”

  I picked up my romper from the floor and covered myself with it. Suddenly, I was ashamed of myself. “Ashton,” I looked up at him. “Can you come back over after you leave the bar?”

  Ashton shook his head. “Naw, why don’t you just cancel your plans and come to the bar tonight with me?” He held my hand, pulling my body up against his. “You’re gonna be gone for a few weeks, and I wanna spend some time with you before you leave me.”