It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3

by Krystal Armstead

  I opened my eyes, looking at her. I didn’t expect her to say anything bad about Anastasia as long as she was supporting Jamie. “But at my heart’s expense? Can you really put a price on heartbreak?”

  Renée sighed, crossing her legs. “Evidently your heart ain’t too broken; you married Aaron, didn’t you? Or was that just on the rebound?”

  I shook my head. I really wasn’t for her shit that night. “Rebound? When I needed Jamie, where the fuck was he? When I lost his daughter, where the fuck was he and what was he doing? Somewhere fuckin’ hoes and gettin’ his dick sucked! He never called me once, Renée! I know I left him, but that was no reason to just totally cut me off! I sent him an invitation to come to the BET awards to see me last year, but did he show the fuck up? No, as a matter of fact, he had his agent call to tell me that he couldn’t make it! Every time I think about Jamie, I see my little girl’s face. If Aaron is anything, he is my angel, not a fuckin’ rebound!”

  Renée threw her hands up surrendering. “My bad. I’m sorry, boo. I just know how much Jamie means to you. I know he hurt you, but seeing his face again still has to have some effect on you. You can’t tell me it doesn’t feel good to have him back around.”

  I shook my head at her, then looked up at the makeup artist. “Paula, can you leave us alone for a minute?”

  She nodded, then left the dressing room.

  I looked at Renée, then sighed. I had to tell someone about my secret. I was tired of holding it in, and I know she was the only person who wouldn’t tell anyone. “Renée, I’m pregnant.”

  Renée’s eyes grew big, and her mouth dropped open, but no words came out. She scooted her chair closer to mine, then placed her hand on my stomach, as if I already had a baby bump. Surprisingly, she seemed happy. But a worried look quickly swept across her face. “Wait, is this safe? Will you be okay?”

  I shrugged. “The doctor is telling me that I need to get off this tour.”

  “Then maybe you should listen to her. You don’t need the money. Shit, Aaron’s got enough bread to take care of his bae.” Renée’s eyes traced my face. “You haven’t told him about the baby, have you?”

  I shook my head. “Girl, no. I am scared that if I get too happy about this pregnancy, I might lose little Aiden or Aerial or whatever he wants to name her.”

  Renée grinned, her eyes glistening. “Well, you need to tell him. I’m sure he’d love to hear the news. And you already know he’s pulling you off of this tour, like it or not. He’s not my favorite person, but I can say that he’s showed and proved that you are the girl for him. He may not be able to give you all of his time right now, but you know he’s in love with you. Whatever you did to the nigga has got him sprung! Ol’ pussy-whipped ass!”

  I laughed a little, trying not to cry.

  There was a knock at my dressing room door before it opened without an invitation.

  Both Renée and I rose quickly to our feet as Jamie entered the room with a bouquet of sunny knockout roses. When we were kids, he would always pick those yellow roses, and leave one for me on my desk at school. To see him standing there with a whole bouquet of them was heart-wrenching.

  Renée looked at me, watching me fight my hardest to fight the tears. “Ummm, I’ll leave you two alone.”

  I quickly grabbed her arm. “No, please don’t.”

  Jamie laughed a little walking up to me, handing me the roses. “Naw, Renée, you don’t gotta leave. I’m not gonna take up too much of her time. I see shawty still has to get dressed.”

  I looked up at him, lips trembling, taking the roses in my hand. “Th–thank you,” I stuttered.

  Jamie cleared his throat, looking down into my face. “I swear I didn’t come here to fuck up what you got going on with Aaron. Okay, I’ll admit, I did come here to be nosey, but I also came because I needed to expand my career. I had no idea about Sara, shawty. If I would have—”

  I put my hand up, stopping him from talking. The roses were hard enough to handle; talking about Sara would be unbearable. “Jamie, I really don’t wanna talk about this, okay?”

  “Shawty, I couldn’t handle you leaving me. That shit hurt like a muthafucka. It’s hard watching this nigga take care of you when you’re supposed to be mine. I’m not gonna stand here and lie to you, sayin’ that I don’t regret letting you go, because I do.” Jamie held my hand, pulling me to him, digging into his pocket with his other hand. He turned my hand palm up, placing the key-charm necklace that he’d given me Christmas Day, 2014, in my hand.

  My lips trembled, looking up into his face, shaking my hand. “No, Jamie, I told you before that I can’t take this!”

  Jamie nodded, “Take it. It’s yours. It always has been, probably always will be. Man, you fucked me up when you showed up to Alisha’s funeral with that nigga, I’m not even gonna front. Seeing you with someone else made me realize that I should have fought for you.”

  “Well,” I fought back my tears, “Aaron realized my worth a little sooner than you did.” I glanced back at Renée, then looked back at Jamie.

  And just like that, Jamie snuck a kiss from me, catching me totally off guard. It was so sweet, so gentle, so wrong, enough to make me nearly jump out of my skin.

  “Good luck tonight.” Jamie turned and walked away before I could take a swing at him.

  I turned to Renée as Jamie left out the door, closing it behind him.

  Renée was blushing harder than I was. “That smooth muthafucka! Okay, sweetie, don’t cry!” She held my face in her hands, seeing my eyes already welling up with tears. “You look so beautiful tonight. Try focusing on your future and your baby tonight, okay? I’m here for you.”

  “Oh, I need Aaron. Please, go get Aaron.” I sighed, sitting back down in my chair.

  * * *

  I’m not going to pretend that being in that play, performing on stage with Jamie, wasn’t difficult, because it was. Anastasia sat in the first row, watching us from the audience. Renée and Aaron stood alongside the stage, backstage, watching me throughout the entire play. Aaron looked so proud of me, watching me on stage. I was so nervous that I would hit the wrong note or forget my line. I had to say, we had a fantastic cast. The music for our play was phenomenal, written by Anastasia and Jamie. Jamie was a natural, I hate to admit. He was never into academics. Pen and paper weren’t his best of friends, but the way that he wrote those songs, you would have never been able to tell. He kept it all in his head. He was good at just about everything that he did, which made it hard for anyone to not give him his props. As arrogant as he was, he was the best at whatever he set forth to do. Except loving anyone other than himself.

  We were right at the end of the play, the part where I was telling another character, Holly, that I was firing Cooper because he never showed up to rehearsals and that I heard that he “was back out on the block slangin’ rocks.” We were just about to break out into a song called “Fallen Angel,” when Jamie entered the scene.

  Both myself and Tiffanie, the girl who played Holly, looked at each other, then at Kenya who was looking back at us, eyes wide as saucers. I looked down off the stage at Anastasia, who sat there, chin in her hand, shaking her head to herself. Jamie wasn’t supposed to be in that scene, but there he was, walking out onto the stage, walking straight up to me.

  My heart pounded in my chest as Jamie held my hand, pulling me closer to him.

  “Shawty, why didn’t you tell me about the baby?” His eyes searched mine.

  I gasped, looking out at the crowd who was staring straight back at us. Everyone thought it was a part of the play, but everyone on that stage and behind it knew that it wasn’t.

  “Oh, shit!” Tiffanie muttered under her breath.

  I tried to pull my hand from Jamie’s but the more I pulled away, the closer he pulled me to him. “This isn’t the right time to talk about this, Cooper.” I tried to play it off. I looked back at “Holly.”

  “Could you please escort Mr. Cooper out of my office, Holly?”

 
Tiffanie removed herself from character, shaking her head at me. “Naw, girl, I’ma stay out of this one.” She walked off the stage, and the audience giggled.

  I looked at Jamie, nervous out of my mind as to what he might say. “Don’t do this,” I begged him, looking back at Aaron. Renée was holding his arm, struggling to pull him back. You should have seen his face, his light skin turning bright red. I looked at Kenya, who was signaling us both to just keep talking. I looked at Jamie. “Why are you doing this now, here, today?”

  “You wouldn’t talk to me any other way. You won’t listen to me, shawty.” Jamie responded, holding the hand that displayed Aaron’s ring, which I had forgotten to take off for the performance. He looked down at it. “This ring doesn’t even matter, and that marriage license is just a got-damn piece of paper. You and I both know that this nigga will never have all of you.”

  I was finally able to snatch my hand away from his. “He does have all of me! I don’t know why you came here, but if you came to try to win me back, you already lost the fight. It’s over, okay?” I backed away from him a little.

  Jamie shook his head at me. “Do you remember the day you had your first heart surgery? It was me who sat with you all day and all night for a muthafuckin’ month. When your brother was killed, who was there holding you at night? When your mother used to beat the shit out of you for stealing food from the corner store, who was there to nurse your wounds? When you needed clothes, food, soap, money, anything. Who was up all night, workin’ the block, making sure you, your sister, and your brother had what y’all needed? Was he there for you when your mother used to beat the shit out of you? Was he there for you when your mother’s boyfriend tried to rape you? Was he there for you when your mother was so strung out she tried to sell all of y’all for drugs? You and I have history, shawty. I protected you! Me, not this muthafucka! He doesn’t deserve you, Ne’Vaeh! He didn’t earn you; the nigga hasn’t paid his dues! This nigga you fuckin’ with ain’t shit!”

  He really pissed me off with that last statement. I couldn’t take anymore, I had to do something to stop his mouth from running. I smacked Jamie dead in his face.

  The crowd gasped.

  Jamie looked at me, eyes sparkling.

  “Not shit? Didn’t earn me? Muthafucka, if you were so good at ‘protecting’ me, why couldn’t you protect my heart? Why did my own sister have your baby? Why did you let me hold our dead baby in my arms alone? Aaron was there for me when you forgot how to be! That’s how he earned me, and that’s how you lost me!” I pushed him in his chest. “You never give a fuck about me until you see someone else is interested in me! I’m happy with him; leave us alone!” I broke down and cried.

  “Shawty, you have to forgive me. I know I fucked up, I know I should have been there, I know you shouldn’t have had to go through that type of pain alone.” Jamie reached for my hand, and I pulled away. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

  I pushed him. “No, I don’t wanna hear this! Leave me the fuck alone! Go back to her! Spend time with her! Go live your life with her and leave me the fuck alone! It’s your fault that I love him! I had to find someone else! You left me! I needed you, and you left me! And even when you came back, you still managed to abandon me again! You pushed me to him when all I ever wanted was you!”

  It was too late to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. It was too late to take them back. It was too late to unbreak Aaron’s heart.

  I gasped, turning around, seeing Aaron standing there, temples twitching, eyebrows knitted together. “Aaron, I didn’t mean it, I—”

  And just when I tried to take the words back, Jamie grabs me back to him, kissing me, lips stroking mine. The crowd rose to their feet, whooping and hollering.

  “Close the curtains!” Kenya shouted at the stage hands, because she already knew some shit was about to go down.

  I tore my lips from Jamie’s, pushing him off of me just as the curtain closed. In an instant, before I even had a chance to react to what Jamie had just done, Aaron raced across the stage, darting straight at Jamie.

  I screamed out, rushing toward the two on the floor, but Renée and Kenya held me back. By then, all of the actors were on stage, eying the fight, but no one jumped in. You should have seen the way they were jacking, but no one was stopping the fight. Jamie had Aaron fucked up if he thought just because he was a rich boy from privileged parents, he didn’t know how to throw blows. I’m not saying Jamie got his ass beat, but I can say that Aaron gave him a run for his money. Blood splattered everywhere, and pools of blood were on the floor before the fight was finally broken up.

  Anastasia rushed back stage with two of her biggest bodyguards to pull them apart. Aaron was still swinging in Kalvin, the body guard’s, clutch. Kalvin had to damn near put Aaron in a headlock to stop him from trying to charge at Jamie. Aaron had completely lost his cool. Jamie, on the other hand, thought the situation was hilarious.

  Jamie held his wrist, laughing at Aaron, still taunting him. “Nigga, it doesn’t matter what the fuck you try to do; her heart is mine, nigga!” Jamie spit blood from his mouth. “She’s only with you temporarily, my nigga. It’s only a matter of time! You’re wastin’ your time, muthafucka! Don’t act like you don’t know that every time she’s with you, she’s wishing it was me, nigga!”

  Kalvin gripped Aaron’s neck tighter as Aaron tried to fight his way out of his chokehold.

  I broke away from Renée, rushing over to Aaron. “Get off of him! Let him go!” I screamed at Kalvin.

  Kalvin looked to Anastasia for instruction.

  Anastasia sighed, nodding for him to let Aaron go.

  Aaron pushed the bodyguard off of him once he loosened his grip enough to set Aaron free. Aaron stood there, chin bruised, left eye scratched a little, blood dripping from his lips. Aaron looked at everyone and then looked at me. “You dissed me for this nigga and every time he’s around, I ain’t shit!” Aaron’s chest heaved in and out.

  I shook my head at him, crying, “Aaron, baby, that’s not true!”

  “You wanna be with him? You wanna go back this dude? Then go, shorty. I’m not gonna try and stop you if that’s where you wanna be!” Aaron tried ignoring Jamie and just talking to me, but Jamie kept running his mouth.

  “Muthafucka, there’s no question of her love, I got it. You ain’t got shit but my leftovers!” Jamie laughed, Anastasia examining the hand that he was holding.

  Aaron attempted to charge at Jamie again, but I pulled him back. Aaron pulled from me, pushing me off of him.

  “Aaron, please, don’t listen to him!” I screamed. “You already know that I love you! It’s over with him; it’s been over!”

  “Then tell dude that shit because apparently, he seems to think different!” Aaron shouted. “And you just told him that loving me was a muthafuckin’ mistake! That if the nigga didn’t leave you here to fuckin’ rot, you’d still be with him! The only reason I’m here is because he fucked up! The nigga left you for dead, I came to rescue you, and you’re still in your feelings about dude? Where the fuck was he when you were trying to overdose on pills and shit? Where was he when you were barely sitting at ninety pounds? Where is he at night when your ass still cries yourself to sleep over him?”

  My heart jumped at the sound of Aaron’s angry voice. He’d never yelled, never screamed, and never raised his voice at me. It hurt like hell. I wish I could take back what had just happened with Jamie, but I couldn’t. And I was going to lose Aaron because of it.

  “I’m sick and fuckin’ tired of competing with this dude, yo. He had his chance. He missed out. End of story.” Aaron spit blood from his mouth. He looked over at Anastasia and another actress wrapping Jamie’s wrist with an ace bandage. Jamie grinned at Aaron, still taunting him, rubbing in the fact that he was more important than Aaron was to everyone around him.

  And right then, two police officers came backstage. Anastasia approached them, whispering. Both of them looked at Aaron, and then back at Anastasia. They recognized Aaron appar
ently and were baffled as to why she wanted him arrested.

  My heart was doing a high-speed chase in my chest as the officers approached Aaron. I looked at Anastasia. “Anastasia, no!” I wailed.

  “Mr. Whitehaven, you’re going to have to come with us.” One of the officers removed his handcuffs from his belt.

  Aaron laughed a little as the officer stood behind him, pinning his arms behind his back. “This nigga is trying to steal my wife, and you have me arrested?”

  The officers could care less that he was the son of a multi-billionaire and a star player on an NBA team. Anastasia ran Atlanta, and what she said was the law.

  “From what everyone saw here, you attacked my actor. I’m responsible for my actors, not for you, boo-boo.” She blew Aaron a kiss as the officer struggled to remove Aaron from the room. “Don’t drop the soap.”

  Aaron’s feet were planted on the floor. “Muthafucka, she’s mine!” he shouted at Jamie. “She was made for me, you remember that shit!” It took both of the police officers to drag Aaron from backstage.

  I tried to go after them, but Renée held me back.

  * * *

  The police department refused to let me speak to Aaron that night. They refused to tell me anything about the charges that were filed against him. They refused to let me pay his bail. After four hours of waiting outside of the detention center with Renée, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She suspected that maybe they were purposely not telling me anything because Aaron might have not wanted them to. She called the front desk herself, asking information about Aaron’s bail. She was informed that he’d gotten out of jail three hours earlier, that they let him go as soon as he went to visit the commissioner. The charges had apparently been dropped the moment that he made it to the detention center. It was then that I knew that Aaron asked them to stall me. It was then that I knew that Aaron was through with me.

  Renée zoomed down the highway, trying to get me back home to see if my instincts were correct. Aaron’s car wasn’t in the driveway. I got out of Renée’s car, racing to the front door of my house to unlock the door. I walked into the house and called out his name. Nothing. I raced up the steps and into our bedroom. He wasn’t there. And I walked slowly to Aaron’s walk-in closet to open it. I gasped at the sight of the empty closet. I shook my head, backing away from the closet. And to put the icing on the cake, when I looked back at our empty bed, I caught sight of Aaron’s wedding ring sitting on his pillow.