It's Wrong for Me to Love You, Part 3

by Krystal Armstead

  Just then, Renée strolled into the bathroom, in a beautiful purple chiffon dress. Her hair was in a curly updo. She looked just like Marilyn Monroe. “The hell y’all doing in here?” She made a face at us as she strolled over to the mirror to check her makeup. “Y’all missing everything. She’s about to throw the bouquet.”

  Everyone, including myself, rolled their eyes at Renée.

  “Girl, ain’t nobody trying to catch that shit.” Danita smacked her lips. “But I am hungry. I’m about to go get me some of that shrimp cocktail, yessir!”

  “Oh!” Renée turned around facing us, just as we were about to make our way out of the bathroom. And there she was again with another got-damn invitation. She handed the canary yellow envelope to me.

  I sighed, taking the envelope in my hands, looking her in her face. “Let me guess, an invitation to home girl’s baby shower?”

  “Yes, hunti!” Renée squealed. “Since she’s here for another few days, I figured I’d throw my boo a baby shower. And I expect each and every last one of you bitches to be there, a’ight? Ain’t gonna be no shit like there was at Charlie’s baby shower, I’m gonna let y’all hoes know that shit right now. Now, c’mon, let’s go reach for that bouquet.”

  Just as we left the bathroom, I ran smack into Jamie. He was dressed in Gorgio Armani from head to toe, looking delectable as ever. Tyra nudged me in the back as she made her way back into the reception area with the rest of the girls.

  Jamie grinned down at me, looking my body over. I’ll admit, I did look sexy in my teal backless dress and gold Giuseppe stilettos.

  I knew we needed to talk, but it wasn’t the time. “Wow,” I looked him over, too. “You actually showed up. You’re making progress.”

  Jamie laughed a little, knowing I was mocking him. “Slowly but surely, shawty.”

  “C’mon, chica, let’s go get this bouquet!” Lailah grabbed my arm, pulling me along with her.

  You should have seen everyone fighting for that bouquet. I was just standing there like, What the hell am I doing here? The men stood back on one side of the room; you know Jamie’s ass was as far from the festivities as possible. I couldn’t believe Ashton had the nerve to join in. Ne’Vaeh was so happy, preparing herself to toss that expensive bouquet of flowers in her hand. She tossed it in the air, and all those bitches pushed each other out of the way to get to it. But despite of all of their efforts, the bouquet fell right at my feet. I watched them fight for the bouquet, and guess who got a hold of it? Renée’s ass. And guess who caught the garter belt? One of Aaron’s nineteen-year-old cousins, this cute little white boy named Richie. You should have seen Renée’s ass squirming in that chair as that cute-ass boy slid that garter belt up her leg. I’m pretty sure her panties were soaked. That young boy was gonna have her ass sprung. Yeah, it’s about time that bitch got some dick in her life, dick that she didn’t have to share with another woman that is.

  Jamie never once walked up to Ne’Vaeh to say his congratulations, but she knew that he was there. I saw them catch each other’s eye for a second or two. Her eyes lit up when she saw him, and he winked at her. She grinned a little before winking back. And that was that. They didn’t need words to say they still loved each other. Aaron couldn’t compare to Jamie, and Jamie couldn’t compare to Aaron. I don’t think Ne’Vaeh was looking to replace Jamie when she married Aaron. I think she was just trying to stop her heart from feeling the pain of losing both him and their baby. Jamie watched as Aaron held her hands in his, holding her close, letting everyone know that he was never letting her go. I’m sure that Jamie had to be thinking that the moment Ne’Vaeh was sharing with Aaron was meant for him, but Jamie kept his thoughts to himself. Jamie saw that Ne’Vaeh was taken care of, and I think that was assurance enough to him that she’d be okay.

  Chapter 12: The Test

  Charlene

  “Miss Ella did her thing planning that wedding.” Ashton removed his tie that evening in my bedroom.

  I tried to smile, but I couldn’t. I kicked off my shoes and tossed my clutch on my bed. “Yeah, it was beautiful.”

  Ashton watched my lips tremble as I fought back the tears as hard as I could. “Charlene, what’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, unzipping my dress.

  Ashton held my hand, pulling me to him, looking down into my face. “Baby, talk to me.”

  I looked up at him. “I talked to Misty two weeks ago. She said that she had a party the night before the Morgan Girls went to Miami for our retreat. She remembers me leaving her party with you. And that I was pretty faded.”

  Ashton let go of my hand, just looking down into my face.

  “When I asked around at the wedding reception who remembered anything about that party, they also said that they found me and you naked in your bathroom, me on top of you, passed the fuck out.” I shook my head to myself.

  At that moment, little August comes racing into the bathroom, running straight into my legs, face first. I looked down at my son with tears in my eyes, struggling to smile. I picked my little boy up, who was excited to see me. He looked at Ashton, grinning from ear to ear. “Ashy!” he called out to Ashton.

  Ashton’s eyes glistened. He looked at August, then back at me.

  I nodded. “Ashton, we need to get a DNA test.”

  The very next morning, me, Ashton, and little August went to have the DNA test done. I cried as the doctor swiped the cotton swab across my gums. I couldn’t believe that I had caused so much chaos in my life as well as everyone else’s. Alisha told me that I would hang myself. I couldn’t even blame Dana and Danita for not telling me what I had done. I should have known my partying would catch up to me sooner or later.

  I sat in the front passenger’s seat of Ashton’s ride that morning, in a daze, staring out of the window. Little August was knocked out in the back seat. Ashton didn’t say much to me that entire morning. I’m pretty sure he was hurting just as much as, if not more than I was.

  Ashton grabbed my hand.

  I looked at him, heart in total shock.

  Ashton looked at me, light eyes glistening, “All we can do is wait a few days for the results, baby; that’s pretty much all we can do.”

  “I–I know.” I stuttered. “It’s just what if Jamie isn’t . . . What if you’re . . .” I burst out crying.

  Ashton leaned forward and gently kissed my lips, holding my face in his hands. “Baby, we just have to wait and see.”

  “He–he wanted Ne’Vaeh so bad, and I ruined it for him,” I whispered, drying my face. “I didn’t mean to cause him any pain. I didn’t mean to hurt you or anyone else.”

  “I know. What’s done is done. If little man is mine, you know I’m here for you. If he’s not, well, you know I’m here for you regardless,” Ashton assured me.

  “Ashton, I’m so sorry.” I continued to cry until I couldn’t cry anymore.

  * * *

  After Ashton went to work and I dropped my son over at my mother’s house,

  I paid Jamie a visit at Flex, a gym that mostly celebrities and sports stars frequented in DC. I didn’t have a membership, but I used to go to school with the couple who owned the gym, so they’d let me in for free just as long as I got a few people to sign up for a membership.

  “Hey, Selena.” I sighed, running my hands through my curls at the front desk.

  “Hey, supermodel! What’s up?” Selena smiled, pearly whites gleaming. Selena was about five foot one, long dark hair, perfect beach tan, and the perfect body. She opened the gym with her rich husband about three years ago. Selena was twenty, and Russell was twenty-three. Russell’s parents were both Circuit Court judges. Russell was already the head of the department that Ashton worked in at the University of Maryland Medical Center.

  “Have you seen Jamie around?” I asked, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I was dressed in a black crop top, hot pink boy shorts, and pink Reeboks. I knew good and well I wasn’t going to work out, but I knew I had to look the part if I wanted to not look too
suspicious. Russell and Ashton were pretty good friends, and if Russell saw me talking to Jamie, I knew word would get back to Ashton. Though Ashton knew of my feelings for Jamie, that didn’t mean he wanted me anywhere near him, especially once Ashton and I had started sleeping together. I was getting tired of sneaking off to be with Jamie. We’d been sleeping together just about every day since he’d gotten back from Atlanta.

  “Last I saw Jamie was down in the private weight room. Room B123. Here.” She tossed me a set of keys. “You need a key to get in.”

  I looked at her. “Is there anyone with him?”

  “I haven’t seen Jamie with any girls down there in since he’s been back in town, sweetie,” Selena replied, watching the relieved expression on my face.

  “Thanks, Selena.” I hurried off to find Jamie.

  The private weight room was on the basement level of the gym. As seductive as the theme of that floor was, I knew the only workout going on down there was fuckin’. As I unlocked the door to the room Jamie was in, I was hit in the face by a Zesty mist. Each weight room had its own shower and sauna. I walked into the room, closing the door behind me. Jamie’s gym bag was on the floor, and the clothes that he had taken off were lying next to it. I removed my socks and shoes, then made my way into the shower room.

  “Jamie?” I called out, eying him standing directly underneath the shower head. Suds ran from his head down his back, sliding through the crack of his ass. Why, oh why, did he have to be so damn sexy?

  Jamie turned toward me, wiping the excess water from his face. “What’s good wit’cha, shawty?” He rinsed off.

  I had almost forgotten what I had to say. His body had me speechless. He looked edible, like a fuckin’ piece of hot fudge, all wet and slippery. I inched my way near him, grabbing his towel along the way. I just watched as he rinsed off. I didn’t regain my ability to speak until he turned off the water and reached for the towel that I was bringing him.

  “Hey.” I finally spoke.

  Jamie grinned, drying himself off. “What’cha doing here?”

  “I–I just had a lot on my mind.” I watched him running the towel over his chocolaty skin.

  “Has he proposed yet?” Jamie wrapped the towel around his waist.

  “No, but I know he will. That wedding has everyone feeling some type of way.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s probably got you in your feelings, too, huh?”

  Jamie just looked at me.

  My eyes widened. “Not you, too! What did you do? Go and hunt Ne’Vaeh down at the hotel where she’s staying? No, wait, you must have gave her the engagement ring that you wanted to give her when she left Maryland last year. I bet after I left the reception, your ass gave that shit to her right in front of Aaron, didn’t you?”

  Jamie laughed at all of my ideas, though he knew he had thought about each and every one of them. “Naw. I just been thinkin’ about life, that’s all.”

  I sighed. I had to talk to him about the DNA test, but first I had to talk to him about ending whatever it was that we had going on. “Jamie, we have to stop doing this. Whatever this is, we can’t do it anymore. Ashton isn’t my boyfriend, but he means a lot to me. So we need to stop.”

  Jamie looked down into my face, pulling me closer to him by the elastic in my shorts. I wasn’t wearing any panties underneath, by the way. “Well, what if I don’t wanna stop? What if I wanna keep doing this?”

  I let out a long sigh, as Jamie ran his hands up my thighs, cupping each ass cheek in his hands. I looked up into his face. “Jamie, I can’t be your favorite anymore. I don’t wanna be someone’s favorite, I wanna be someone’s only. I’m just your daily, but I’m Ashton’s only.”

  “Let’s try this.” Jamie’s eyes searched my face.

  I pushed him in his chest, pushing him off of me. “Jamie, please, stop playing. I don’t have time for this. I came here to talk to you about something serious, and you’re playing with my emotions again!”

  “Naw, shawty,” Jamie grabbed my hand in his, pulling me up against him. “There’s no drama with us. There’s no secrets with us. There’s no pretending to be something that we’re not. I can talk to you about anything, and you always set it to me straight. We have a son together. Maybe this is meant to be. I wanna try this; just you and me, nobody else.”

  My heart nearly stopped in my chest. My mind kept screaming, “What about Ashton? You’re just gonna hurt Ashton! That boy is in love with you! He waited all of his life for you! What if this baby is Ashton’s?”

  But my heart was in complete control: “Jamie wants you, Charlene, you better jump at this chance. He doesn’t have to know about the DNA test, or the results, whichever way they turn out. You have been waiting your whole life for this boy to want you, so what are you waiting for?”

  “What about Ashton?” I whispered, looking up into Jamie’s face as he backed me up into the shower, dropping his towel. “What do I tell Ashton?”

  “Shawty, I want you. I have a son with you. We owe it to ourselves to give this a try. You’ve been in my bed every night for the past two weeks. Don’t it feel good to be together?” He reached for the faucet handle, turning the water back on, steam instantly filling the room again.

  I gasped as he swooped my shirt up and over my head, tossing it on the tile floor. “Yes, Jamie, you know it feels so good to me, but—”

  Jamie slid my shorts down, down my thighs and past my calves.

  I stepped out of them, and he tossed them on the floor, too.

  He backed me up against the wall of the shower. “Don’t you wanna be with me?” He gently kissed my lips. “Huh? Don’tcha?”

  I kissed him back, holding his face in my hands. Our hearts were finally on the same beat, and it felt so damn good. “Jamie, you know I do, but—”

  “Then fuck him.” Jamie lift my body up, wrapping my legs around his waist,

  “And fuck with me.”

  I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I didn’t deserve to be with either Ashton or Jamie. With the DNA test pending, I had no business letting Jamie finally decide it was the right time to try and dedicate his heart to someone again. I should have told him the truth right then, but I didn’t. I let that boy make love to me in that shower, knowing in the back of my mind that the son he thought we shared might not be his.

  * * *

  I didn’t go home that night. I went out with Jamie and a few of his friends to Whip, a club in downtown Baltimore. Turns out, Anastasia Jones was in town and was throwing Jamie an album release party. You should have seen the look on her face when she saw me strolling into the club, hand in hand with Jamie. I knew she had a problem with me, and I couldn’t have cared less.

  I’d never seen Jamie sing in person, though I had heard a few of his songs on iTunes. I was blown away by the strength and power in his voice when he performed one of his songs that night in V.I.P. The name of his song was “51515” or in other words, May 15, 2015, the day little August was born. I couldn’t even make it halfway through watching him sing that song when I had to make an exit from VIP. I couldn’t take it. I could feel the chunks start to rise in my throat as I rushed into the bathroom. The thought of August not being Jamie’s baby was literally making me sick. I made it into the bathroom stall just as the chunks spewed from my mouth into the toilet.

  I sat there, face buried in the toilet, on my knees, crying and gagging at the same time. I was so ashamed of myself. My mother was right; my lifestyle was catching up with me in the worst way possible. Why did I have to drink that got-damn punch at Misty’s party? Shit, why was I even at the bitch’s party? Why did I have to put myself in the position to even question the paternity of my baby? Why did Jamie have to tell me that he was ready for me? And why was Ashton in love with me when I was in love with Jamie?

  The door to the bathroom opened, and I heard the sound of heels prancing across the linoleum floor, stopping abruptly, probably to primp in the mirror.

  “Are you okay in there?” I heard Anastasia’s voice.
>
  “Yeah.” I wiped my lips, peeling myself off of the floor. I slowly opened the door to the stall, seeing Anastasia standing back against the sink, facing my stall with her arms folding. Guess she wasn’t primping after all.

  I made a face at her, then walked over to the sink to rinse my mouth out with water. I cupped my hands, holding it under the running faucet.

  She turned to me, arms still folded, glare tracing my profile. “The fuck are you doing here with him?” She watched me drink water from my hand, then spit it out into the sink. She moved aside as I grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser.

  I lifted my eyebrow at her as I dried my face, the tears from my cheeks, and the water from my mouth. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard what I said, Charlene,” Anastasia rolled her neck at me. The bitch was richer than Bank of America, and yet she had the audacity to give two cents about my mediocre life. “What are you doing with him besides fuckin’ him?”

  I just looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “You need to be worrying about making sure he gets everything you promised him in that contract and stay out of his personal business, Mrs. Jones. I don’t give a fuck how you thought you could talk to Ne’Vaeh, but I’m not the one to fuck with.”

  Anastasia laughed a little. “You know, that girl talked about you and Jamie all the time. It really hurt her that you never came to see her while she lived in Atlanta. I told her to not even sweat it, because you weren’t shit but someone trying to steal her life and her man. That boy was everything to that girl, and you took him from her.”

  I rolled my eyes at her, turning back to the mirror to fix my face before I stepped back out into the crowd. “I heard about that grimy shit that went down in Atlanta, so don’t try to throw salt at me, Anastasia. If you cared so much about her, why did you damn near work her to death? It was my idea for Jamie to try out for the play, but I had no idea that shit would escalate so far as to you sending Aaron to jail.”