Wounded Love (A Rocky Harbor Novel Book 3)

by Marianne Rice

  She gave up on the traditional family idea after her search for Colton came up with nothing. No other man could fill the void in her heart. For a fleeting moment, when he entered her life again, she thought they could have the family she longed for. But Colton didn’t love her the way she loved him. It wasn’t something he fought for and there wasn’t anything left in her heart to give him.

  Since it was easier for CJ to climb into her car than Colton’s truck, she asked Rachael to pick her up in it. Colton didn’t put up a fight.

  Of course not. He’d backed away and retreated in to his own world like he did all those years ago. She didn’t expect anything more.

  CJ sat in his wheelchair, piled high with balloons and toys and flowers, and waved goodbye to the wonderful nursing staff as he was rolled down the hallway and to the waiting car.

  After all the excitement of checking out and the car ride and playing with Sadie and Colton who welcomed him at the door, CJ asked to go to bed early. Colton tucked him in and for the first time since their blowout a few days ago, they were all alone.

  “I appreciate your help tonight. I’m going to bed as well. I have a guest staying here and need to get caught up on paperwork and chores.” She hadn’t had a chance to meet the guest and hoped he hadn’t felt ignored. Some people stayed at inns for the convenience or to avoid a chain hotel, while others enjoyed talking to the innkeeper and learning the history of the town. She hoped her guest was using his room as a place to rest his head, for she wasn’t feeling very hospitable.

  “I’ll lock up behind me.”

  “No, I’ll lock up later when I know my guest is back.”

  “He’s here.” Colton left her alone in the kitchen and she heard the click of the lock on the front door.

  Her body was exhausted and looked forward to crashing on her soft bed. Ellie reached for the kitchen light and was startled at the silhouette of a man in the foyer. The broad shoulders and tapered waist could only belong to one person.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Locking up.”

  “But…”

  Colton placed a hand on the banister and started walking up the stairs. “If your offer still stands, I could use some help.”

  “What offer?” Ellie inched closer to him. Unable to see his facial expressions, she could hear the nervousness in his voice.

  “To help me.”

  “Oh.” He continued up the stairs. “Wait. Are you my guest?”

  He nodded his head. “I can call Blake again if you’d rather.”

  “Um, what do you need help with?” While the idea of being alone with Colton in his bedroom scared her to death, it also sent tingling sensations to forgotten parts of her body.

  “I’m still having trouble bending over. My…leg. It’s…hard to do on my own right now.”

  Ellie covered her mouth with her hand and a flurry of emotions stirred inside. Even when they made love he wouldn’t let her see him completely, as if ashamed of his injury. Now he needed her to help him take off the prosthetic. It was both humbling and heartening.

  Taking the steps slowly behind him, Ellie followed Colton up the stairs and to his room. Sadie lifted her head from the bed and wagged her tail. He stood next to his bed, the room lit only by the lamp on the nightstand. Moving his hands to the elastic of his wind pants, he slowly slid them down his legs, stopping at the top of his knees.

  Clad in black boxer briefs and with his pants half-down, he took her breath away. Colton sat on the bed and sighed. “I can’t…do the rest.”

  She knew this. She’d helped CJ get dressed earlier, careful not to hurt his incision. Ellie kneeled in front of Colton and slid his pants off the rest of the way. Curling her fingers into her palms, she itched to touch him. His thighs were huge and muscular, much like she remembered, one covered partially in what looked like a wrap. Her gaze traveled to his knees. While his right looked like most every other kneecap she’d seen, his left was covered in white plastic.

  Colton talked her through step-by-step in how to detach the prosthetic from his knee sleeve. She listened and did what he said, carefully laying the contraption on the bed next to him.

  He placed his hands over hers, trapping them against his thighs. “The knee sleeve is next. If it’s too much, let me know. It’s not pretty.”

  Ellie nodded and grasped the tight sleeve, pulling it over his stump. She didn’t mean to gasp, but nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. Where his thighs were beautiful and strong, even if pockmarked, his knee was riddled with angry red scars and puckering where the doctors must have put hundreds of stitches.

  “Does it hurt?” She touched the stump lightly and his quads tightened.

  “Not like it used to.” Ellie stroked his leg, following the lines of his scars. “You don’t have to touch it.” Colton’s voice was tense, much like his leg.

  “Am I hurting you?” She lowered her mouth to where the worst of the damage was, raw and red from rubbing against his prosthetic, and placed a gentle kiss on his scars.

  When he didn’t respond she tilted her face to him, looking at him in the eye for the first time since their argument. He shook his head and closed his eyes, a drop of moisture pooling at the corners.

  Knowing he’d be embarrassed, she averted her attention and spotted a bottle of lotion on the nightstand. She squirted some in her palm, warming it between her hands, and rubbed it into his leg, massaging the swollen, puckered stump. He lowered his head, tucking his chin to his chest, while his body shook.

  “Colton?”

  He covered eyes with his hand and shook his head. Torn between giving him his privacy and wanting to offer comfort, she moved his prosthesis to a nearby chair and stood in between his thighs, bringing his head to her chest and rubbing his scalp and shoulders.

  He’d exposed more than his physical injury. Colton had opened up a side of himself he’d kept hidden from his family and from her. The vulnerability in his eyes and body language spoke louder than any words he could say. Colton was a man of honor and of pride, and he valued his privacy. Giving him that, she waited until his body relaxed before slipping away and down the hall.

  She lay awake for hours listening for signs from him above. All was quiet, too quiet. When she cried, it wasn’t from pain or hurt. She knew how hard it was for Colton to show her his scars. To shed his tears in front of her. No apology, no other gift could ever hold such meaning.

  If they could overcome so many obstacles and still love each other, there was hope. Because whether he’d say the words or not, she knew Colton loved her. Wrapped in the comfort of believing in their future, Ellie fell fast asleep.

  The following morning she woke earlier than usual, making the one decent homemade breakfast she was good at. Well, semi-homemade. Rachael had frowned upon her box of pancake mix in the cabinet, claiming making it from scratch was easy and tastier, but Ellie liked that she could make one of CJ’s favorite foods. From almost scratch.

  She mounded a platter with pancakes, turned off the griddle, and gathered the syrup—the real stuff—and butter. Again, real. Running a successful inn meant having a delicious Maine breakfast every morning. Hence the urgent hiring of Rachael this past summer. Ellie didn’t know what she would have done without her. Not only because she was an amazing cook and baker, but she knew when, how, and where to push Ellie. If not for her, Ellie and Colton may never have been reunited. And forced together to acknowledge their feelings. Good, bad, ugly, and downright lustful.

  And most importantly, her son wouldn’t have a new kidney.

  Colton was a man of honor, or duty. And lord have mercy, he was beautiful. His scars didn’t lessen his beauty, only made him more alluring, more…amazing.

  Smiling at her recurrent memories of Colton’s naked body, she nearly dropped the gallon jug of Maine maple syrup on the gorgeous man’s foot.

  “You startled me.”

  “I’m not exactly on stealth mode here.” Colton lifted one of the crutches. They were th
e modern kind that cupped around his forearms instead of resting under his armpits.

  Ellie took in his sexy scruff and bed head, her gaze making a trail down his chest where his Batman T-shirt stretched over his torso, and down to his legs where the bottom of his left leg ended short, his sweatpants tied back around his thigh.

  She’d never seen him without his prosthetic on. Heck, she hadn’t ever seen the prosthetic itself before last night and even then, her time was limited.

  Ellie closed her eyes in embarrassment. “I’m so thoughtless. I should have come up earlier to help you with your leg.” So excited to make pancakes for Colton and CJ, she’d neglected to think about the medical care he needed. Wasn’t that why she suggested he stay with her to begin with? A nursemaid she was not.

  “It’s good to give it a rest.” The crutches clunked on the tile as he moved to the kitchen table. “Besides, breakfast smelled so good I had to come down to check it out,” he said sheepishly, not having yet made eye contact. “And Sadie needs to go out. She knows to do her business in the woods.”

  Colton opened the back door and Sadie rushed out. He stared out the window and she took advantage of the view as well, appreciating how his back filled out his shirt just as well as his front.

  Men like Colton didn’t like talking about their feelings, and crying in front of anyone, much less a woman, would make him uncomfortable. She wouldn’t bring up their intimate moment from last night unless he did.

  “I’ll go get CJ. He’d sleep all day if I let him.” Ellie scurried down the hall before she did something stupid like bury her face in Colton’s neck and smother him with kisses.

  Instead, Ellie smothered her baby with kisses and helped him ease out of bed. “Colton is staying at the Inn and is joining us for breakfast. Is that okay?” She rifled through his dresser and found the shirt she knew would make him happy, clean underwear, and loose pants, and helped CJ get dressed.

  “Cool.”

  “I made pancakes.” They’d been on his no-no list, as had syrup, but the doctor said he could start to eat the unhealthy carbs in moderation.

  Ellie trailed behind her already slow moving son and watched Colton’s eyes light up when he saw CJ.

  “Nice digs.”

  “We’re twins!” CJ shuffled faster into Colton’s outstretched arms. “You have a Batman shirt just like me.”

  “You know it.” Colton squeezed CJ gently and rubbed the top of his head.

  “What happened to your leg?”

  “Let’s eat before the pancakes get cold.” Ellie’s attempt to distract her son didn’t work. She sent an apologetic smile to Colton but he ignored her, concentrating on CJ.

  “Remember when I told you how I spent a lot of time in the hospital last year?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why don’t you sit like your mom said and I’ll tell you what happened.” Colton pulled out a chair and CJ climbed up.

  “You don’t have to talk about it, Colton.”

  Ignoring her still, he served all three plates with pancakes and poured syrup on CJ’s. “Need me to cut this up or can you do it?”

  “I can do it.”

  They ate like it was a typical morning, the three of them having breakfast together like any other day.

  Ellie picked up her fork and cut her pancakes into tiny bites, forcing herself to eat when what she really wanted to do was go somewhere quiet with Colton and listen to his story. Instead, she got the G-rated kid’s version. It would have to suffice for now.

  “My fellow Marines and I got ambushed by some bad people and they tossed a bomb at us. Blew off my leg. The doctors sewed me up and gave me a prosthetic so I could walk.” She was thankful Colton glossed over the incident not to frighten CJ.

  “What’s a pros-et-ic?”

  “A prosthetic is a fake leg. Only it doesn’t look anything like a leg. I attach it to my knee and it has a pretend foot that I can put inside sneakers or boots. When I’m wearing pants you can barely tell I have it on.”

  CJ peeked under the table and Ellie peered over his crouched body at Colton. He chewed casually as if the conversation, like their breakfast, was every day chitchat.

  “Why aren’t you wearing your pros-et-ic-fake leg now?”

  Colton wiped his mouth with his napkin and placed it back in his lap. Those manners got to her every time. Instead of using his sleeve, like usual, CJ picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth as well.

  “Do you want to help me put it on?”

  The emptiness in her heart filled with something beyond love. Something between the first sunrise after a week of cold, dreary rain and a cozy fire on a warm summer’s beach. It burned and brightened, shined and comforted, filling the empty dead space inside her chest with hope.

  “Your mom cooked, so we’re on kitchen patrol. Then you can help me put my leg on.”

  “Like that Humpty Dumpty book Mom read when I was little. We can put you back together again.”

  While Colton needed to be physically put back together, Ellie’s heart was mending before her eyes. And all the pieces that had been shattered and strewn about were finally coming together.

  Chapter Twenty

  Colton

  All morning he’d avoided eye contact with Ellie. After last night’s breakdown, he wasn’t looking forward to facing her. Like a woman was known to do, he feared she’d push him to tell her more, show her more than he could handle.

  But she didn’t. She didn’t push him away or retreat in disgust. Instead she massaged and kissed his leg. His disgusting, mangled, worthless leg. The daily reminder that he’d survived while his fellow Marines had made the ultimate sacrifice.

  The daily reminder that the only reason he gave up his dreams and went to war was to escape the heartache of losing his child and the woman he loved. When Thomas Fairfield told him Ellie had an abortion, even after their long talks and promises to love each other and be a family forever, he only felt numbness. Then anger and grief surged through him with so much force he didn’t know what to do. His heart had only beat for her.

  His mind went dead and black, as did his soul.

  After all these years not caring what happened to him, he finally cared again. The past few days in the hospital gave him time, too much time, to regret his actions. He’d ostracized himself from his family, sacrificing his relationships with his brothers and sisters and his mom. He returned briefly for his father’s funeral and, too afraid to build close relationships with anyone, reenlisted the moment he had a chance.

  The Marines was an escape for him. His dream had been to become a lawyer to protect children who were mistreated or overlooked by the justice system, not to fight, protect, or kill.

  But a black heart turned him into a killing machine. Awarded him with medals and accolades he didn’t care about, when the only thing that would make him complete again was his child and Ellie.

  Given a new opportunity at life, here they sat before him. Ellie made it pretty clear at the hospital how she felt about him and he had to agree with her accusation. He was a coward. The irony that the Marines would take a coward into their ranks was not lost on him. They may have turned his cowardice around when overseas, but as soon as Colton hit American soil he shrunk back into his shell, nearly tossing Blake out of Walter Reed hospital, and hiding from the beautiful single mom who saw through him too easily.

  They’d all forgiven him as if he hadn’t deserted them for a third of his life. Even CJ welcomed him in, no questions asked. Ellie would be a tougher one to earn forgiveness from. He owed her his life. Her picture stamped in his mind kept him from giving up after his Marines were killed and he was holding on to life by a thread.

  Colton didn’t expect to ever see her again, except in the photo he kept close to his chest. The nursing staff had placed it on the table by his bed and asked him about her, but he wouldn’t speak, keeping their relationship, their love, their unborn child, to himself.

  When he saw her again standing inside the front door
of the Inn he’d thought he was imagining her as he often did. While on leave and blowing off steam in Germany, he’d stumble when a beautiful, young woman with a mane of dark hair would cross his path, thinking it may be Ellie.

  It never was, but the smiles and laughter of the young women would remind him of what he lost. What he never wanted to experience again.

  Heartache.

  And yet he had. Whether he’d admit it or not, he’d fallen in love with Ellie again.

  No, not again. He never fell out of love with her. From the moment he saw her all those years ago when she was a carefree teenager, to the second she opened the door, her kissable lips parting in surprise and disbelief, he’d always had Ellie Fairfield in his heart.

  This time he wouldn’t be a coward and walk away. He’d fight for her and prove how much he loved her and CJ. Ellie wouldn’t make it easy, though. He’d have to prove his love to her by letting his guard down and showing her all the ugly scars, physical and emotional. If it was too much, the dirty ugliness of his past, then they weren’t meant to be.

  It was time for Colton to man up.

  Breakfast was a good start and CJ made the perfect distraction. Colton wouldn’t break down and cry like he did last night if his son was around.

  “Nice job, kid.” Colton put the last dish away and hung the dishrag over the faucet.

  “Can we put your leg on now? Does it go on like a Lego?”

  Colton chuckled. “I wish. Come on.” He slipped his hands through his crutches, wishing he could slip one in CJ’s and one in Ellie’s. Soon.

  Once upstairs, CJ climbed on to his bed and scooted to his side, Sadie hopping up as well, butting her snout in between them.

  “I have a lot of scars on my leg. If it grosses you out you don’t have to look, okay?” He held on to CJ’s shoulders and looked him in the eye like a man.