Veteran Dreams (Forever Young Series)

by Cherron Riser

  She had softened her usual dark makeup and run a straightener through her hair to tame the waves. The woman in the mirror looked nothing like the girl she used to be. Well, she could still be that girl on the weekends.

  Heading out, she grabbed her keys and purse.

  Traffic was a little more out of hand than she had expected, but she was still getting used to life in Birmingham. Compared to the small town she came from, Birmingham was a different world and something she was still getting used to. Good thing she had left early. Being late would not make a very good first impression.

  Despite how bad the traffic was, she was glad to see she had still arrived ten minutes early. It was something she had always been taught. If you wanted to make a good impression, then you needed to be early. Until then, she had never cared much about it, but now it mattered. Baby steps, but she would be successful one day.

  In the back of her mind, she felt a little part of her die. Yeah, she was going to be successful, but it wouldn’t be for what she wanted to do. After Berkley didn’t work out, she had found herself back home and going to community college for business. However, she was bound and determined to be the best sellout possible. She took her community college degree all the way up to a bachelor's degree, complete with more debt than the damn piece of paper was worth.

  In the back of her mind, she thought about Alex. She had promised him she would never give up on her dreams, and there she was, handing her résumé over to someone who planned to stick her behind a desk answering phones. If she was lucky, she would end up in cubicle hell. Oh yay!

  “Lita, it is so good to meet you. You come with some great references both from your current employer and your teachers. I have to say I am interested to see what you have to say.” Barbara McDowell came over to shake her hand and lead her to a conference room.

  Mrs. McDowell was the head of McDowell Marketing Solutions, the company Lita hoped to get her start in. It wasn’t as large as some firms in places like Atlanta, Los Angeles, or New York, but it was one of the largest in the area, which was why Lita had chosen it. All through college, she had worked hard to make the best grades possible. Part of her believed if she could get herself into a good firm right out of college, maybe she could move up to one of the big ones in New York and then have time to work on her music career as well. It was a goal she wasn’t sure would ever happen.

  “I was glad to hear you wanted to see me. I have been keeping up with your company for over a year now and honestly feel like this is the best place for me.” Lita took a seat at the large oak table.

  Barbara McDowell had to be in her mid-forties to early fifties. She carried herself in a way that showed a tremendous amount of strength and elegance. Her silver hair was pulled up in a tasteful coif, and she wore a sensible yet fashionable dark-blue suit. As the head of the company, she exuded strength, but she didn’t let it hamper her femininity.

  “Well, you come with a great résumé. I know you don’t have a lot of experience yet, but you are young, and you seem driven. I know you are here for the reception position, but I have a lot of faith you will move into something that better suits your skills,” Barbara said before going into a few questions. It didn’t feel like any interview Lita had ever had before. This felt more conversational and personable. It made her believe she walked in already having the job.

  When she left, she knew she had the job and would be starting in two weeks, after she gave notice to Papa Gino’s. She had been working for him for over two years, ever since moving to Birmingham to finish her degree. He was already anticipating her leaving, but he wasn’t happy. Papa was the kind of man who truly loved and cared for his employees. It made her feel blessed to have found such a good man to work for.

  Getting in the car, Lita called Regan and Kammy to let them know she had gotten the position. Kammy didn’t answer, but Regan picked up before the first ring had finished. “Tell me, how did it go?”

  “It went really well. I think she planned to hire me before I even walked in the door. We mostly just talked about how school went and what I hoped to get out of working there.” Lita turned onto the main street. Thank goodness for Bluetooth. She could talk and drive at the same time.

  “I told you that you would get it. You worked your butt off in school. There was no way you wouldn’t get the job,” Regan answered, excitement heavy in her voice. “So, you are coming down for the BBQ this weekend, right?”

  “Yeah, I told you I would be there. You know I can’t pass up the famous Regan ribs. Damn, your cooking is so good it makes my mouth water just thinking about it.” Lita laughed, especially hearing the frustration in her friend’s voice.

  “You are such a wicked woman.” Regan growled. After some time of trying to find herself, Regan had finally come to terms with the fact she was a lesbian. It was something Lita was happy to know, because she wanted her friend happy and not struggling. However, Regan had a thing for her, and while Lita liked girls on occasion, she couldn’t see her best friend that way. They were just too close.

  “I love you, girl. Can’t wait to see you. I hate you moved so far away. Things down here just aren’t the same. Going to the river has lost its appeal.” Regan made her voice sound sorrowful. If only she could hide the laughter behind it.

  “No, it hasn’t. You send me pictures all the time of you fishing. You will never love the river less, but how about we take a visit while I am down there?” Lita offered as she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building.

  “Oh, am I finally going to get you to fish with me?” she asked, excitedly.

  “You wish, but I will go swimming.” Lita laughed as the two of them finished their conversation. Then she went inside to strip off the tight business clothes and put on her jeans and rock-n-roll T-shirt. Today, she figured she would wear Iron Maiden. It was one of her all-time favorite bands, and she was in too good of a mood for anything less.

  ***

  Papa Gino’s always smelled divine. It was a mix of fresh oven-baked pizza and homemade Italian sweets. Lita wasn’t sure how she had managed to only gain ten pounds instead of a hundred working there, but she wasn’t going to complain. The food was the best in town, and she was proud to work for him.

  However, walking into her shift after her interview with McDowell Marketing Solutions, work was going to be a little bittersweet. Lita weaved through the tables and pushed through the swinging door which led to the back of the restaurant. Papa’s wife, Catalina, was sitting behind a desk, looking over the books. She had a pensive expression on her face, as she often did when handling the accounting. Her dark hair was pulled back in a tight bun, and her short body was plumper than it had been when they first met. Old age was starting to settle on her, but she wore it well.

  “So, how did it go? Papa has been asking me if I heard from you all day, and I had not.” Catalina smiled up at Lita with a grin that said she had every confidence Lita had done a great job.

  “It went so good. The CEO called me into the conference room, and she didn’t so much interview me as much as we just had a conversation. She just talked to me about my goals and what I want out of my life. It was cool. I told her I needed to give notice, and she respects that. Do you think Papa will be upset?” Lita put her stuff in her locker and wrapped the apron around her waist.

  “Don’t be silly. Papa is so proud of you. He came to this country to be successful and would want nothing less for his family. You, Lita, are family. Papa wants you to succeed and be happy.” Catalina got up and walked over to give Lita a hug. “Now, we are going to have a busy night. The high school is having a football game, and you know that always means a full house.”

  “Yeah, full house of crazy teenagers who have had way too much sugar and excitement. Hopefully, I don’t have to break up any fights tonight. They always get surprised when I get in the middle.” Lita collected her order book and walked to the door.

  “Yes, Lita the barbarian. You have saved many a table and chairs for us.” C
atalina’s joke had Lita laughing as she made her way to the kitchen to give Papa a hug before starting her shift. Papa was in his usual boisterous mood, singing as he cooked. There was even a bit of a dance to the way he moved around the kitchen. No matter how hard of a day she had, Papa had never failed to make her smile.

  Lita went through the details of her interview once more, and Papa gave her the biggest and tightest hug she could imagine. “You will do wonderful things. But you come back to see us. I do not want to have to hunt you down in your new job. And make sure you eat. You need meat on your bones.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I don’t think there will ever be a time I won’t want to get a little pizza.”

  Lita was just about to head out to the floor and start taking orders when Catalina popped her head out of the office door. “Lita, your mother is on the phone. You might want to take this.” Her mother never called her at work. The fact she had could only mean one thing. Lita’s heart stopped.

  Chapter 6

  She didn’t know what to say. Though her grandfather had been sick for a long time, the truth was, Lita had never dealt with a lot of death. His passing was something new to her, something she wasn’t ready to deal with. Her grandfather’s death was the first one she had ever experienced. Until then, no one she knew or was close to had ever passed away.

  In the last five years, Lita had also gotten extremely close with her grandfather. There were nights when she sat with him until late in the night. He would watch old Western movies, and she would study. It was quiet, but there had always been a sense of peace and closeness between the two of them.

  Now, everyone wanted to keep asking her if she was okay and if they could help. No, she wasn’t okay, and she wasn’t sure she would be okay for a long time. Regan had driven up to Birmingham to be with her, and Papa Gino had brought over enough food for the family and possibly an army. She wasn’t sure what they were going to do with it all. But she was grateful for it.

  Outside, her mother sat by herself on one of those concrete stumps, a cigarette in one hand and coffee in the other. It had been her nonstop state since he had passed. Half of the cigarettes she lit went to waste as she got lost in her thoughts. Lita could understand it. Not that she smoked, but Lita couldn’t seem to keep concentrating on any one thing either. It was frustrating.

  Hearing the change in the music and the people hosting the funeral say it was almost time, Lita went out to let her mother know. “Hey, I know you don’t want to, but we need to go in there. Grandma needs us.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Patricia got up and stomped out her latest wasted cigarette, and the two of them walked into the funeral parlor together.

  Her grandfather hadn’t wanted a funeral. He had wanted to be cremated and sprinkled out to sea. He had been in the navy, and they had arranged for one of the battleships out of Jacksonville, Florida to take him and give him a military funeral. However, for the time being, they were just having a small memorial. Lita had offered to sing—if she could get her wits about her.

  Most of the memorial was a bit of a haze. Aunts and uncles got up and talked about her grandfather, reminiscing of times long past. However, when it was her turn, all she could do was walk in a clouded-over state. She didn’t see the people sitting before her or the photos and flowers. Hell, she barely saw the podium. No, her mind was lost in some sort of trancelike state, wanting to be free of the whole situation.

  The music to “Go Rest High on that Mountain” by Vince Gill started up, and Lita did her best to take a deep breath and not think. She had sung in front of lots of people for years. Nothing ever bothered her or made her afraid. Singing was her sanctuary. Softly, the words started to leave her lips. It was weak compared to how she usually sang, but she kept going, trying to find her confidence.

  This would be the last time she could sing for her grandfather, and she wanted it to be special. She thought about all the good times they had over the last few years. Though they had been hard, they had been filled with good as well.

  Near the end of the song, she could feel her voice starting to crack. It was difficult to sing with so many emotions, but she pushed through, knowing it wasn’t her best but also that it was filled with love. When she finished, she saw tears on the faces of all her friends and family, and she knew the song had reached them.

  The rest of the funeral was more of the same. People talked about her grandfather and how much he meant to them. By the time it was done, Lita wanted nothing more than to get out of there. It was the same with her mother who followed close behind. They used the excuse they wanted to get back to the house so they could be ready for when people got there, but really, it was just a way to escape for a while.

  “I think your grandmother and I are going to move back down south now. As good as it was to be up here to have access to the better hospitals, we have never enjoyed living in the big city. Besides, you are all grown up now. I’m sure you are ready to get started with your own life,” her mother said as they weaved through the traffic.

  Yeah, she wanted to get back to her own life, but it had already passed the point of her being able to enjoy going out to California. She would just have to work toward the next dream. “You guys never liked it up here. I was surprised when you decided to come. I honestly thought it had more to do with being worried about me.” Lita was trying to make a joke, but it was difficult.

  “Maybe that was part of it, but you are a strong girl. You don’t really need us. You gave up so much staying to take care of all of us. I think it is time for you to follow your own dreams.” Her mother reached over and patted her hand where it rested on the gear shifter.

  Lita thought about what her dreams used to be. She was going to write books and sing rock songs. It was going to be a wild life full of adventure. Now, she didn’t feel like it was achievable. Hell, she rarely went out to karaoke and open mic nights, much less worked on her music career. Now and then, Papa Gino would ask her to sing something special for someone’s birthday or anniversary, but that was as far as her music had taken her in an extremely long time.

  They got to the house her mom and grandparents had been staying at. Papa Gino had already set up a huge spread of pizza and traditional Italian dishes along with an array of sweets. It was more beautiful than she had expected. Papa Gino had been such an important part of her life, almost like a father figure. She was sure she would love him for the rest of her life.

  When she walked in the door, Papa and Catalina took turns giving her and her mother tight hugs. He had told her to take time off, but in reality, it made her feel better to be busy, so she had worked through her pain. The only day she actually planned to take off would be after the memorial. Regan had convinced her to hit up an open mic night so she could work out some of her pain. It hadn’t been her favorite idea, but she knew Regan meant well, and maybe it genuinely would help.

  People started to pour in, and Lita did her duty greeting them. Her grandmother had been on so much valium to keep her calm that she was simply led in and sat down in a chair. It was eerie to see her so distraught. Her grandmother was usually full of life with something to say about everything. Not today, though. Today, the tiny woman was quiet with a tear-stained red face.

  “She will be all right. Just give her time,” Regan whispered, walking up next to her. Reaching out, Lita took Regan’s hand and leaned her head on her shoulder. There was a reason they were both such close friends. If only Kammy could have been there. The three of them together were unstoppable.

  ***

  To get her mind off things, Regan had taken her to the club to blow off some steam and sing some songs. Before they even found a table, Regan had ordered them some drinks to be delivered. Lita wasn’t sure what drinks she ordered, but with the look on Regan’s face, she was sure they would be strong.

  “You don’t have to sing anything too complicated. Just get up there. It will be good for you. I don’t remember the last time you actually sang something and just let your ha
ir down,” Regan said, putting her arm around Lita and leading her out to the main part of the club. Lita signed up for a slot, and then they found a table. It was only a few moments later when a tray of Alabama Slammers was set down on the table.

  “There are enough of these to have me stripping by the end of the night.” Lita laughed for the first time in days.

  “Well, would that be so bad? You haven’t been dating in a long time. Maybe you need a little wild fun as well. It wouldn’t hurt, you know,” Regan teased as she nearly shoved a drink in Lita’s hand. “To a great man finding peace and a great woman starting life.”

  Tears started to form in Lita’s eyes as she tapped her glass against Regan’s in a toast. However, her eye makeup was on point, so she blinked hard and tried to keep the tears from running down her face.

  By the time they called her name, she had downed three Alabama Slammers and started working on Smirnoff Ice. To tell the truth, she probably wasn’t in the best place to head onto a stage and sing a song. Maybe if they were at a karaoke bar, but this was open mic. They expected more out of their performer.

  “Hey, my name is Lita Reigns, and this is called ‘The Greatest Man I Ever Knew.’” Lita lifted her guitar and started to strum at the strings, but her control was a little off. Then the words started to come; however, it was too much for her. The song had been written about her grandfather on a night when things had looked grim. She had been sitting alone with him, and his ability to breathe had made her wonder if it was going to be her last night with him.

  She didn’t get very far in the song before she dropped her guitar and just bolted out of the club. Regan wasn’t even able to catch up with her. All she knew was she needed to get out of there. She wasn’t a performer anymore. That ship had sailed long ago. She just needed to get to her new job and start her adult life. There was no more time to be a kid. No more dreams to follow.