“All right, but call me if anything changes. You guys are family, and I should be there if you need me.” Lita tried to shake the anxiety she felt.
“I love you, girl. I will call you with an update after you get off work. Try not to let this ruin your day. You need to keep working hard. Goodbye.”
Lita finished getting her stuff together to take back to her desk. Yeah, how was she supposed to think straight now knowing one of her best friends was sitting in a hospital somewhere? It might have been her own damn fault, but it didn’t change the fact she should be doing something.
Heading back to her desk, she took a seat and tried to process what she had just heard. Wanting to keep her stuff organized, she kept the pile stacked and pulled out her cell phone. As much as she needed to focus on work, her brain was a mess. “Hey, Oliver, I am going to head out for lunch. I need a moment.”
“Hey, is everything okay? Your friend sounded pretty upset. It was why I went on and transferred her.” Oliver had been acting like an asshole for over a week, but deep down, he cared about her.
“There is just something going on back home. Not that I can help right now. I just figured I would go get some lunch and clear the air.” She smiled and grabbed her purse before heading out of the office. For the most part, her work was finished until the meeting, other than practicing and making sure she had her wits about her. Taking a break would be good for her.
“All right, if anyone asks, I will let them know. It isn’t like you ever take lunch anyway,” Oliver said in a supportive tone. She gave him a weak smile and headed out of the building.
It wasn’t that she was hungry. Quite the opposite really. But the air was nice. It wasn’t as hot as it usually was, and the day had a bit of a breeze. She walked down to the coffee shop around the corner from her office. Now and then she would go there for lunch, but today, she was just going to get a drink and call Alex.
Once she had her coffee, she sat at one of the outside tables and pulled out her phone. She wanted to talk to someone who could help her get her mind off things. She dialed Alex who answered after a couple of rings. Just the sound of Alex saying hello helped to make her feel better. “Hey, I hope I am not interrupting anything.”
“No, not today. I have therapy tomorrow, but today, I am free. What’s up? You don’t usually call while you are at work.” He sounded concerned, which she could understand. Work was work, and she did usually leave personal calls to outside of work hours.
“I’m at lunch, and I just needed to talk to someone.” That lingering stress and despair began to show in her voice, and she found it more and more difficult to keep it in. So, she let it all out. She told him about what had been going on with Kammy and how she had borrowed the money under the pretence of starting a business. Then she shared the information about the new boyfriend and how she had gotten heavily into drugs again. While she let it all out, he listened, which made her feel better. It was nice to know he could sit there and listen to her without making her feel like she was a bother.
“I just feel so stupid and angry, but at the same time, I am worried about her and wish I were there. If I were, maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.” She took another sip of her coffee.
“No, you being there wouldn’t have stopped any of this. If that were the case, Regan would have been able to stop it too. Sometimes, things are outside of our control. I hate she is in the hospital, and I hate what she did to you, but hopefully, you realize she did this to herself, and there is nothing you can do to fix it.” Alex tried to sound supportive but there was a bite to his tone that made her wonder if he was angry. Maybe he was angry? She was, after all. So, she could understand someone else being feeling that way.
“I wish it were that easy to separate the two, but it isn’t. It is like no matter what I can’t shake the feeling that I should be there.” Lita sighed. She looked out into the beautiful sun and smiled, trying to draw in its warmth to bring her peace.
“That is called being a good friend. You are an amazing person, Lita, and you deserve to have people treat you as such. It is why I push you to sing and write. Because you are amazing. Kammy shouldn’t have done this to you, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. She was selfish.” Again, that tone was there, but she knew it wasn’t because of her. It was because of Kammy.
The way he talked spoke volumes and reminded her of how he held her the other night. Despite everything, he was protective of her, and she had no doubt he would do everything in his power to ensure she was safe even if it hurt him. Never had she had someone in her life who gave her that sense of safety, and she certainly hadn’t expected it to come from him. “Well, Regan told me I should stay and do my presentation, so that was what I plan to do. It just feels wrong.”
“That proposal is huge for you, and you have been working so hard on it. You can’t let this stop you from doing what is best for you. Regan is right. If you want, we can go down there this weekend after your meeting, but I don’t think you should cancel and potentially mess everything up just because of Kammy. She isn’t going anywhere, and she has tons of people there. A couple of days so you can make sure your stuff is in order won’t hurt anything.”
She hadn’t missed the part where he said he would go with her. It actually made her smile. The idea of him going with her, being by her side, meant a lot more to her than he probably knew. “All right, well, I should probably head back to work. There were a few minor adjustments I wanted to make to the proposal, and tomorrow, I will be doing the run through. Hopefully, it goes as smoothly in practice as it has been on paper.” Lita got up and tossed her cup in the trash.
“I’m sure it is going to be perfect. You have done everything you can, and I believe you will make it great.” They finished up their conversation as she headed back into the office, and when she got back to her desk, Oliver was there with his usually curious face. It was annoying, but today, she knew it was because he cared about her and not because he wanted dirt. Well, not completely because he wanted dirt. Part of it was he wanted to make sure she was okay.
She didn’t go into detail but told him one of her friends was sick, and she was worried about her. He listened and gave her a supportive pat on the back before heading back to his desk to finish out the day’s work.
Chapter 22
Her heart was racing, and she found herself rubbing her palms over her pants trying to dry the sweat from them. It was frustrating, because she had everything perfect. Then she got a call Kammy was not doing so good, and it messed with her head. Because of the call, Lita had decided to leave for Ozark and check in on her friend. Alex had therapy and would meet her at the office after to pick her up.
However, her emotions were making it more difficult for her to get into the groove of her presentation. Mrs. McDowell sat near the back of the room, beaming up at her with an excited smile, which did nothing to make her feel better. No, Lita felt the weight of the whole company on her shoulders and hoped she didn’t let everyone down.
Sitting around the conference table was a small group of executives waiting to hear what she had come up with in order to improve their company and advance them into a new era. Not only had she worked up a full ad campaign, but she had a complete set of logos, rebranding material, and commercial ideas. Everything had been carefully laid out in a perfect presentation, and now, her tongue was glued to the roof of her dried-out mouth.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to push out all of her personal emotions and do what needed to be done. “Umm, hello. I am so glad all of you are here. I have been looking forward to this meeting.”
Lita put on the best smile she could and started to go into the presentation. At first, she did well even though she was a little bit nervous. But every time she stumbled over a word or clicked the screen through too quickly, she fell further until she felt like an out of control mess.
“Umm, Lita?” Mrs. McDowell asked, looking up at her. She was trying to pull her back into focus, but the world around
her got dizzy and cloudy.
“Yes, I, well, let me show you the logos I have worked on. Our goal was to take your familiar style and give it a modern twist. Part of the marketing plan is to make your current loyal clients feel like they still matter while bringing in a new generation of customers who feel you understand their needs as well.” Her words were meant to come out smooth, and they did, until she spilled the handouts all over the floor.
Lita was mortified as she watched papers flutter and fall all around her. All her careful work lay scattered on the floor like leaves in a park. Only, she liked fall leaves not fallen papers.
“I think we have seen enough. Barbara, we will be in touch. Thank you for all of your hard work,” Chasity Levi said as her team got up to leave the meeting. Lita stood there while Barbara walked them out, doing her best to smooth things over.
While she waited for her boss to return, she picked up her mess, her hands shaking. What had she done? Weeks of work, and she had flushed it all down the toilet. She had managed to get everything picked up and ready to move back to her desk when Mrs. McDowell returned. “What the hell was that? You had everything perfect on Wednesday, and today, you stumbled over the whole thing. You had such great material to work with.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. This week just… I’m sorry.” Lita still couldn’t get her tongue in order.
“Look, I don’t know what is going on with you. Oliver told me something about some personal problems going on, and I am sorry for that. But you have to leave your personal life at the door. This is not the place for you to unload it.” There was no mistaking the anger in Barbara’s voice.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” There wasn’t much for her to say. All Lita could hope for was the client still decided to go with their firm. If not, she wasn’t sure there would be a place for her there any long. Barbara had taken a chance on her, and she very well might have messed it all up.
***
“Stop telling me this is going to get better!” Alex was beyond frustrated. Even with the progress they had made, it just didn’t feel like enough.
“Dude, stop being so hard on yourself.” Brandon moved over to the table where he was lying to try to talk sense into him.
“No, you don’t understand. This is not me!” Alex slammed his arm down.
“No, I don’t understand. I will never understand, but look, really take a look. There is progress.” Brandon held his arm, trying to get him to calm down enough to see reason.
For the first time in months, there was progress. Scorching fiery progress which hurt in ways his friend would never understand. It felt like millions of fire ants were raging over his legs, hip, and lower torso, but his foot moved. Not just the toe but the whole foot. It was more progress than he had ever made. If only it didn’t also come with the pain.
“I’m sorry it hurts so bad but try to look at the progress. I never thought this day would come.” Neither did Alex. He tried to breathe through the pins and needles to try to move his foot again. The movement didn’t happen again, which only frustrated him more. What was the point of going through all of this if it wasn’t going to continue to work?
“Alex, you are putting a wall up. It is like every time you make any kind of progress you start to think about how it isn’t enough, and your whole body shuts down. You have to keep your mind and body in line.” Rita tried to encourage him, but it was too late. The frustration grew higher and higher, and just as she had said, it shut down everything.
“I think I am done for the day.” Alex groaned, trying to sit up on the table.
“No, you need to take a few deep breaths, and we are going to keep going. You don’t need to say you are done for the day just because something goes wrong. I am not going to let you give up on yourself.” Rita tapped his shoulder to keep him on the table.
“Yeah, man, what would Lita want to see from you?” Brandon added.
Alex glared at his friend for bringing Lita into the conversation. She didn't care if he was ever whole. She cared about him despite his broken body. Lita was slowly proving she cared about him more than she cared about his flaws, and he was falling for her more and more because of it. So why did Brandon have to bring her into it, remind him that part of why he worked so hard was so one day he could be whole for her? “You’re an asshole.”
“Yeah, well, you love me anyway.” Brandon had the audacity to chuckle at his own joke, but the break was over. It was time for him to get back to work. There was still half a session left and a lot of pain coursing through his body. What could be better?
By the time they were done, Alex wasn’t sure he could take much more, but he pushed on. He forced himself to transition into his chair and wheel to the front to make sure everything was set up for his next visit. Not that he wanted to come back. With the way he felt, it was the last thing he could fathom doing. Good thing Brandon was driving him.
When they got to the car, Alex took some of his meds, hoping for a reprieve so he could breathe. “There is about an hour before you are supposed to get Lita from work. Do you think taking those is a good idea?”
“If I don’t, I won’t be able to drive anyway.” Alex panted as he popped the pill into his mouth and washed it down with water.
“You sure you should be taking this trip after everything that happened today?” Brandon asked, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the street.
“I want to be there for her. She is going through a lot. I just hope her presentation went well. When I talked to her last night, she was so stressed out that nothing I said calmed her down.” Alex breathed in and out slowly, letting the conversation take him away from his own sorry state.
The sensation in his legs and hips was starting to subside when his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he was surprised to see Lita’s name. He had expected the meeting to go longer. “Hey, baby, how did everything go?” Alex did the best he could to put excitement in his voice.
“Umm, not great. Can you just go on and pick me up? I’m done for the day, and everyone knows I’m leaving early. I just don’t want to be here anymore.” It was not the answer he had expected, and it washed away any of his own pity party. Lita needed him.
“I’m on it,” Brandon said beside him, making moves to change the direction they were headed in.
“What happened? You said you had everything set.” Alex wondered if she was possibly overreacting or simply overwhelmed from the stress.
“I made a mess of everything. I really did. I just need to get out of here,” Lita said, obviously not wanting to talk about it.
Whatever had happened, he could find out later. Brandon did the best he could to get to Lita’s office quickly. Alex would pick her up and calm her down, and they would head south to check on her friend. Hopefully, it wasn’t as bad as she thought.
Chapter 23
They had gotten a late start on their trip, and Alex hadn’t been in the best mood. The fact he wouldn’t talk about it was a bit annoying too, but Lita was trying to let it go so they could try to have a decent visit. Not that visiting your friend who nearly died from being stupid was considered a fun time.
They rode in silence with only the sound of their breathing and soft music playing breaking the deafening silence between them. Lita’s mind was a flurry of emotions and thoughts. It was like she couldn’t keep one thing there. Everything passed through in rapid cycle making her feel anxious. It was a mix of going to see Kammy and disappointment in how her presentation had gone. She could only hope the written information and files she emailed were enough to win them over.
They had just left Troy and were in the rolling hills of nothingness that would take them into Ozark. Regan had told Lita that Kammy had been transferred to Dothan Thursday night because she wasn’t doing as well as they expected. It was an extra hour on the trip, but she would be all right. After all, they had better doctors, so it was probably better for her friend.
“You okay over there?” The sudden ta
lking startled her, and she turned to look at him. There was still tension in his jaw, and she felt like he was bothered by something, but he still hadn’t offered to talk about it.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry. My head is just racing. I’m trying to shut it off though.” She reached over and patted his hand. Oh, how she wished he would talk about it.
“You are just really quiet, and I thought I would check in. The trip has been rather peaceful, but I know you had a tough day.” Though there was still strain in his voice, he did sound like he was trying to calm down as well.
“All this stuff with Kammy had my head in a bad space, and I just wasn’t able to do as well as I had hoped. It was such a big account too, and I am worried Mrs. McDowell is going to fire me over it.” Lita leaned against the window.
“She isn’t going to fire you. You have been there a long time. It isn’t your fault life hit you with something difficult and threw you off.” Alex tried to defend her, which she appreciated. But the truth was, she shouldn't have let her personal life interfere with her work life.
“That’s just it. I have been there a long time and have never done anything particularly amazing. I had all the potential but just did what I needed to get by. I was stagnant and boring. This was my chance to prove I was valuable and worth keeping around, and I blew it.” She sighed, watching the window fog up where her mouth was.
Alex waited a few minutes before saying anything else. It was like he vibrated with a rebuttal but was afraid to say it. Apparently, he lost the battle. “You shouldn't even be working there. Lita, you are so much better and can do so much more with your life. I don’t even understand how you got involved with working in the corporate world. You are an artist and a musician. Your work should be out there for the masses, and you shouldn’t be wasting your talent in a dead-end career making money for other people.” There was a firmness to his voice, something she hadn’t ever heard from him. He had always skated the edge between positive and sexy. Dominating had never been his style.
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