“Why do you keep pushing that? I gave up on that dream a long time ago. It isn’t like I can just pick up where I left off.” Lita turned away, feeling a little angry. Why did he keep bringing up the past like she could wave a wand and make herself go to the Berkeley instead of community college? He had no idea.
“Maybe because it isn’t too late for you. It is too late for me. I can’t go back to the way things were. I am a broken man who can’t do anything for the woman I love except try to remind her she is more than some pencil-pushing slave to the corporate ladder.” His voice was elevated and fierce.
Lita was in shock, but it wasn’t just the frustrated tone. It was the words. Surely, he had just lost his temper and didn’t realize what he had actually said to her. There was no way he actually was falling in love with her. It hadn’t been long enough.
Alex continued. “You are trying to let the world destroy you. But it has already destroyed me, and I am not going to sit back and watch you go down.”
She had no idea what to say to that. He sat there, teeth clenched and fingers gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white. Lita just sat there watching him slowly breathe in and out as if trying to gain control of his emotions. There was more to it than what she was doing with her life. Something was bothering him that had to do with his own life.
“You know, you always have so much to say about how I am living my life, but you haven’t told me anything about what happened to you. It is more than obvious that you are upset, but you are just sitting there stewing instead of talking to me, which isn’t helping anything.” Lita was pretty sure changing the subject wasn’t going to help anything, but if he was going to judge her on how she was living her life, then she could do the same.
“It isn’t important. Talking about it won’t change anything,” Alex answered with a deep sigh. His fingers gripped the wheel even tighter, as if it were even possible.
From that point until they reached the Dothan Circle, they sat in awkward silence. She wished she could make him see how she felt every time he brought up her writing and singing. As fun as it was to go to karaoke night, and as much as she was enjoying dabbling with her writing, she had little faith it would turn into a successful career which would pay the bills. No, she had to think about her future, which meant she had given up on childhood fantasies.
When they pulled into the hospital parking lot and started to get out of the car, Lita groaned at the sensation. She ached from hours of sitting and not walking around. They had taken one rest break just outside of Montgomery. Other than that, they had driven the whole time. Until she stood up, though, she hadn’t noticed how sore the trip had made her. With a deep arch and heavy yawn, Lita stretched back then leaned down to touch her toes before shaking it all off.
By the time she was done stretching, Alex had rolled around to her side of the van. He reached out and took her hands, his face growing a little soft. “Look, I’m sorry for blowing my fuse there. I want to support you, and right now, I think that means being there for you while we handle this situation. We will cross other bridges later.”
It was a truce; his way of waving the white flag until they could talk about the issues further. Truth was, she wasn’t sure things would go any better the next time they brought it all up. Lita wanted to know what was wrong with him, and she needed him to lay off her when it came to her writing and singing. “Thank you, but we will talk about this again.” She gave a gesture of pointing over his whole body. She had no other way of describing it, but she wanted to make sure he understood her feelings. Regardless if talking about it changed anything, she deserved to know his struggles just as he insisted on knowing hers.
Kammy was on the fifth floor in a private room. One of the good things about the Dothan hospital was the ability to have a private room. When Lita walked in, she saw Kammy’s mother half-asleep in a chair by the window. Over the years, Kammy had started to look more and more like the portly older woman in the chair. The only difference was Kammy didn’t have the coarse curly hair her mother sported.
No one else was in the room other than Kammy who lay asleep in the bed. Medical equipment whirled and beeped, but it didn't dampen the tension of silence in the small dark space. The older woman looked up and tried to blink herself awake. “Oh, hey, Regan said you should be coming in tonight. I didn’t think you would be here until tomorrow.”
“Oh, no, I wanted to come as soon as I could. I felt bad not being able to get here before now.” Lita moved into the room and closer to the bed. Kammy looked pale lying in the bed. Her face was covered in what looked almost like pox marks from her acne getting so out of control. It broke Lita’s heart to see her like that. How had she not realized what was going on?
“Well, if you are going to be here a while, I really could use a break. Regan had to go to work, and I have been here almost all night.” Kammy’s mom stood up and stretched much like Lita had after getting out of the van. That seemed to be when she noticed Alex. Her face screwed up in confusion then she smiled. “Oh, I remember you. Wow, I haven’t seen you in a long time, Alex Houston.”
Alex smiled back and wheeled farther into the room. “It is good to see you too. I’m sorry you are going through this.”
“Eh, it has been a long time coming. We should have known this was going to happen sooner or later. She has been on this roller coaster for ages. Thank you for being here.” She didn’t say anything about Alex being in a chair, which made Lita think Kammy had already told her. It also helped she was a nurse and had seen worse in her time.
“You go on and take some time to yourself. Go get a shower or something. I will be here for a while.” Lita gave the woman a hug then sent her on our way. Once she was gone, Lita pulled up a chair next to the bed and reached out and took Kammy’s hand.
Silence one again filled the room while Lita sat there, watching her friend as if something was going to happen. Though if Kammy woke up, Lita wasn’t sure what she would say to her. Her heart felt heavy, and tears formed in her eyes. Alex moved in next to her and put his hand on her thigh in a comforting way. Hopefully, her friend would wake soon.
Chapter 24
They stayed at the hospital until Regan showed up. Then, after about an hour of talking with her other friend, Lita and Alex headed out so they could get some rest. After getting up early for work and therapy, the long drive, and some stressful conversations, they were ready for some rest. At first, he had started to go look for a hotel, but Lita told him to head to her old house, the one where she grew up and the place where she held the party and danced for him. With how frustrated he had been earlier, memories started to flood him and replace all the built up anger.
It was a little far from the hospital, but it was a free place to stay. On the way there, they swung by and picked up some pizza and snacks. When he pulled into the driveway, he was surprised to see the house hadn’t changed. The trees were still overgrown, creating an almost jungle look. The grass in the field was nearly six feet tall, but the house had been maintained. While it was still colored the same, he was pretty sure someone had painted it since the last time he had been there.
“Now, this brings back memories.” Alex parked the van, then turned to her, and smiled. Lita didn’t look quite as excited as he was, but then again, she probably just saw the place as home.
However, after his comment, he did see a soft smile rise up on her lips. “Yeah, good times. The pool should be cleaned up. I wasn’t sure if you could swim.”
“No, not really. I always sank in the water, so now I would and probably not be able to get back up. But I can sit on the side or ride a float or something if you feel like getting in the pool,” Alex offered. They sat there in the darkness for a moment.
“Maybe, but first, food. I’m really tired and feeling like I just need a break.” Lita sighed.
He reached out and cupped her cheek. It was apparent she was drained, mentally and physically. “Once upon a time, you told me water made
you feel refreshed. It was why you always had pool parties.”
Even in the darkness, he could see the blush rising on her cheeks. The heat of it tickled his fingers and had him leaning toward her to kiss. It wasn’t a hungry passionate kiss. Instead, it was a sweet kiss, soft against her lips. He pulled away, still tasting her on his tongue. It made his grin widen and his heart race. “Come on, the pizza is getting cold. Let’s get inside. We can decide about the pool once we have eaten.”
“Alright, I can live with that.” They got out of the van and made their way inside. Her bumpy and debris-covered yard was a little difficult to navigate, but he managed to get through. There was a step that went into the house, but she was able to find a board to help him get in. “I see your mom put in hardwood. I like that. Makes things a little easier for me.”
“Yeah, I treated her to them a couple of years ago. No one was here enough, and the carpets were starting to get musty. I thought putting the hardwoods in would make it easier for us to keep the place clean,” Lita answered going around and turning on lights. “Do you want me to get some wine, or are we going to stick to water and soda.”
“You look like you could use a rest, but if you drink wine, you are going to fall asleep with pizza in your hand.” Alex laughed and found a spot at the table. He watched her move around the house. The open kitchen looked exactly as he remembered, and she was nervously moving around the room as if she were trying to avoid something. “Baby, come over here and eat. You were just telling me we needed to eat this before it got cold.”
A sheepish look crossed her face, and she finally came over, a soda in her hand for him and a water for her. “I figured for the two of us, we could save having to wash dishes and just eat out of the box.”
“Caveman style. I love it.” He chuckled.
When Lita got to the table, she sat down beside him, and he reached out and pulled her in closer to him. Again, she blushed, but she still looked nervous. He figured it had something to do with their argument earlier. She wanted to talk about it but at the same time didn’t. Well, he didn’t want to talk about it either.
“This place brings back so many memories. I know I only came out here a couple of times, but I was amazing here. Especially that last party.” He pulled out his phone and messed around for a bit until he had a song loaded. He had taken the time to find the song she danced to and had saved it for a special occasion. What better moment to bring it up than at the place it all happened before? Well, close to. The dance had happened in her bedroom.
Pressing the button, he let the song start, and she looked up at him, her face changing to something a little sexier, heated. Her eyes filled with fire. “You remember the song?”
“I remember the song. I was hoping I could see you dance for me again.” He pushed back from the table, no longer caring about the pizza getting cold. They could always reheat it or just eat the damn thing cold.
Lita stood and started to dance to the song. The way she moved had a more mature flow to it, graceful, sensual, the movements of a woman who had more experience. Her curves had his mouth watering, but she hadn’t lost her flare. She teased him as she slowly started to take her clothes off piece by piece. Under her clothes, she had on a black and red lace bra and panty set. It looked new and fit her perfectly. His hands itched to reach out and pull her into him, but that was against the rules.
The first time she danced for him like that, they went full-on strip club rules. She could touch him, but he had to keep his hands to himself. Boy, how he had wanted to touch her, just as badly as he currently did. Hell, she hadn’t even moved in to touch him yet.
His mouth watering, he watched her sway and move. This time, the underwear didn’t stay on. She reached back and unsnapped her bra before tossing it at him. Then she moved in. She ran her hands over him, rubbing his chest before kissing along his neck. He could smell the sweetness of her perfume mixed with the heat of her desire. They weren’t kids anymore, and she wasn’t the sweet, innocent girl she used to be.
Unable to hold back, he reached out and gripped her hips before lifting her and tossing her onto the table. She had enough time to push the pizza out of the way before he had her pressed down. The music continued, but the dance was over. He ripped her panties off and shoved her legs apart. He was hungry, but pizza was no longer on the menu.
He started out with teasing kisses along her thighs and around her hips. Kissing without actually devouring her. Instead, he took his time. Holding her legs tightly and throwing them over his shoulders. When kisses were no longer enough, he gave in to nibbles and bites. She cried out, arching back on the table as if offering herself up to him. And he took full advantage.
As her hips rolled, he pulled her in closer to him then gave her one long lick between her sweet folds before drawing her sensitive nub into his mouth and sucking on her. He hadn’t braved going this far before, afraid of what it would do to them. But he couldn’t hold back. He licked and sucked with ferocity, needing to feed from her body until she was screaming for more.
Looking up, he watched the way her body moved as he continued his feast. She clutched her breast, rolling against his mouth, and then she reached down and ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him in tighter to her.
The way she whispered his name and begged for more had him wanting to torment her all night. It was the sexiest, most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Like a song just for him. He brought her to that edge, eased off, and then brought her to the edge again. This time, however, he decided not to tease her over and over. No, he decided he was just going to give her one release after another until she couldn’t take it anymore.
He worked his tongue and lips until he had her where he wanted her, and then he flicked and sucked her sweet spot just right until she was screaming out his name. Just as her orgasm spiked, he thrust his fingers into her. He didn’t tease or play. No, he pounded those fingers into her tight heat, making her scream over and over. He couldn’t believe how hard her release was. Those tight walls gripped his fingers so tight he could barely move. It was an incredible sensation.
He brought her again and again, taking turns with his mouth and hand until she couldn’t take it any longer. She pushed him away, not because she was upset, but because she needed him to let her come down. He wished he could have stood over her and watched the play of emotions on her face. Her body was quivering and shaking, making him ache for more. Pulling her to him, he nestled her in his lap and kissed her softly. “You have no idea just how sexy you are and how lucky I feel to be able to give you this.”
Part of him did wish he could enjoy it with her, but the pleasure he got from turning her into the shaking sated beauty in his lap was more than he could have ever dreamed of. Nothing would keep him from ensuring moments like this never ended.
“You broke the rules.” Lita panted against his cheek.
Screwing up his face in confusion, he looked at her and watched a goofy smile spread over her lips. “What do you mean I broke the rules?”
“Well, the rules are I can touch you but you aren’t allowed to touch me. So, you broke the rules,” she answered, and he couldn’t help busting out laughing. How she could make a joke and still be quivering in his arms was beyond him.
“Rules were made to be broken. Besides, if I had broken the rules last time—”
She placed a finger over his lips. “If you had broken the rules last time, nothing would have been different. Other than my silly fantasies. You would have still left. So, let's leave the past where it belongs. I like how you break the rules now.” She kissed him, hard, and he tightened his grip on her body, pressing her into him as much as he could.
Chapter 25
Kammy woke up the next day, groggy and achy but awake and alive. It was a blessing, and one everyone was thankful for. The morning was filled with lots of tears and hugs. Lita was there, but the family hovered so much she had no time to talk to Kammy. Her friend looked different to her now. Now, she could see her f
or what she was. It was like seeing a ghost of the girl she had known all those years ago.
Once the family had settled down some and given Kammy some space to breathe, Lita finally got a chance to talk to her. Everyone left, and even Alex went to grab some food from the cafeteria. Lita pulled up a chair close to the bed where Kammy lay, looking out of the window to avoid having to look at anyone. It had been how she looked all day. If she didn’t have to own up to anything, then it didn’t make it real. Well, Lita was never very good at letting things slide, and Kammy was well aware that this was going to happen. “I can’t do this right now,” Kammy whispered, her throat hoarse.
“You will probably never have the time. That’s the thing with you. When things get difficult for you, you avoid and deflect until you think people forget. Sometimes they do,” Lita answered, not letting it go and letting the firmness fill her voice. “But I am not going to forget this. How could you do this to me? How could you do this to all of us. We trusted you.”
Kammy didn’t seem to know what to say, so she said nothing at first. Instead, she stared out the window as if she were trying to escape. Maybe she was. Maybe part of her had hoped she would never wake up. Lita wasn’t sure. All she knew was her friend was awake and the pain was real.
For several long moments, the silence stretched between them, pulling like a rubber band ready to snap at any moment. It was painful and had Lita breathing heavy, her body shaking with pent-up energy.
“I hate myself more than you or anyone else could ever hate me. I’m never going to get better, so why are you even here?”
Veteran Dreams (Forever Young Series) Page 13