Surviving The Chaos Of Life (Demented Revengers MC: Quitman Chapter Book 4)

by Vera Quinn

  “I’m sorry,” I start to go on, but I am interrupted.

  “Shut up! Saying your sorry is a sign of weakness. Where did I get that, hmm, you that’s who? Every time you came in late for a dinner for just the two of us, every time you came in and smelled of some whore’s perfume, every time you missed an appointment for a fertility specialist, and every time you couldn’t come home when I was ovulating because of club business. I wanted a child of my own, I wanted to feel the miracle of a child growing inside me and then it was too late, the onset of early menopause, then the only thing you could say is it just wasn’t meant to be for us.” Lil wipes the tears away from her face. “Don’t you mean it was too late for me. You have a child and you are not even man enough to have her in your life and now everyone is going to know the kind of fool that I am.” I am shocked that Lil knows any of this.

  “How did you find all this out?” Lil looks away from me and I grab her arm. Not in a forceful way but one that she knows to look at me.

  “Your money isn’t the only money that paid off Javier.” Lil’s eyes have gone cold. I scoot to the edge of the bed with Lil and let go of her arm. I try to hug her close.

  “Is there a day since we have been together that you have not known that I love you? I mean deep in your soul.” I look at Lil. “I have done wrong. I am saying I am sorry and begging for your forgiveness because I can’t live this life without you. I cheated on you with one woman. It was more than one time and I have no excuse for it except I was weak. I am not showing weakness for apologizing and saying I am sorry because it is well overdue. I wanted to come clean to you so many times, but I wasn’t man enough. I never cheated with any of the club girls, and I don’t know how any of them would know. I would never embarrass you if I could keep from it. I promise you all of this on my soul.”

  “Jethro, your soul is not what you hold dear, it’s your club. It has always been your club.” My woman knows me well.

  “I swear on my club, and every brother’s life in the club, please, believe me.” I wait for the answer only Lil can give.

  “I don’t doubt what you are saying Jethro. It just hurts. I don’t regret one second of the time we have spent together but it is time for me to come first in your life, for us to come first. I love the Demented Revengers and you know I do, but I want our time that you have promised me since our wedding day. I know it will be hard for you to be away from the club, but isn’t that why you stepped down as the President?” Lil is right, and I want our time alone, but I have never dealt well with change that I did not give a lot of thought to.

  “I want us to write the next chapter of our lives together but if you can’t give this to me, I will do it alone. I have done without while you gave to others. I have needed you and you have been busy with club business and it has festered inside me. It’s like a growing fungus taking over my insides and I won’t become the bitter woman that dies with so many regrets.” Lil stops and looks down and then back at me and I know whatever she is about to say is going to be damn important for both of us. “I know you need to see this situation closed. I can wait that long, but I will not wait again after that. I want our time to reconnect or go our separate ways. It is important to me and I am standing my ground. I am not giving you an ultimatum, but I am giving us a chance to have an adventure of our lives one more time, and then we can come back to our loved ones, but with you or alone, I am going.” I look closely at Lil and I know she is serious. I love this woman. I gave her my heart a long time ago and I won’t take it back, ever.

  “Do you want the details and names?” I know Lil is waiting for my answer.

  “I don’t need them, it won’t change anything, it won’t help anything, not my pain or my healing. I know you are going to need to tell the brothers, but I am holding my head high, because I have done not a damn thing wrong.” Lil stops talking, and I know she is waiting.

  “Plan our adventure, Lil. When this thing is done, I am yours and only yours. I won’t let this destroy us.” I kiss the side of Lil’s head and bring her close in my arms. She relaxes and comes to me.

  “I love you, Jethro.” Lil gives me, and I shut my eyes knowing how hard this is for her.

  “To the moon and back, Lil, always.” I need this woman like I need my next breath of air. I am lost in my thoughts of just how lucky I am when the knocking begins on our door.

  “Go take care of this Jethro and come back to me. Tonight, I need my man to show me how much he loves me.” That sounds like the best plan I have heard in a while. I get off the bed and walk to the door and open it. Shine is standing there with a grim look on his face.

  “It’s time to talk.” I shake my head at him and then go back and give Lil a kiss.

  “I’ll be back.” I tell Lil, and then I walk to the closet and get the stack of papers that I put together this afternoon. I shut the door and then walk back. Shine is kissing Lil on the top of the head. Shine and Lil are close, and I hope they will stay that way. I don’t want to lose my family, any of it. I open the door and walk out, and Shine is right behind me.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Con

  Shine, Rebel, Cap, Chief, Sarge, Brody, and me are all crowded in the small area that Shine is using for his office. It’s crowded and we are all wound tight, but we will make do. While Shine was getting Cap to join us I made sure that all the security rotations were being made. I also told Doc to wake Red Cap up, so he will be available for church later. I go and stand by the door, so no one walks in on us.

  “We don’t have much time, but I wanted to get everyone on the same page before it is laid out for the brothers. Rebel, did you send Cue Ball to take care of that issue?” Shine waits for Rebel to answer.

  “She’ll be in the shed by the end of this meeting. Cue Ball had her in his sights and I am waiting for the confirmation it is done.” The she, being talked about, is going to regret going up against the Demented Revengers MC.

  “I think there are things that need to be shared. I am not liking the non-communication for the last twenty-four hours while we are still hanging our asses out.” Chief is not good at waiting and he doesn’t like being kept out of the loop. Shine looks at Cap.

  “First let me say that us going to pick Faith up today has landed more information in our lap than we have gotten in a while. It connects the dots and we are here to share.” Shine looks around the room. “The short-version is Darren Connors has two brothers and they work for the NSA now. We have all been under their surveillance

  for a while. From what Cooper and Sean say they are not after us, but they also warned to clean everything up, so we can’t be blackmailed by the government. Chief,” Shine looks to the big man beside Cap, “Cooper said that you have had dealings with the Possessed Blood Souls MC, well they are involved.” Shine waits for Chief to say something.

  “We ran that club into the ground. How do they think it is possible for them to be back?” Chief is looking at Sarge.

  “The president of the Possessed Blood Souls, Duke, had a bastard son that goes by Deacon and he has come back to take over both the Possessed Blood Souls and the Hell Keeperz. Duke and Butcher, the president of the Hell Keeperz, were cousins and partners in crime. Deacon has merged the two clubs or what is left of them. Then there is Hack, who we assumed was Alvis Mills son, but not so. Hack is the son of Butcher and that is how he ended up as the president. The mobile drug idea was the community’s idea and has been going on for years. That whole place deserves to be blown to hell. Deacon has been carrying out payback for a personal situation having to do with Cap. Cap you have the floor.” Shine looks at Cap with an emotion I have never witnessed on Shine’s face when it comes to Cap, disappointment. Cap moves forward and places a stack of papers on Shine’s desk and then turns back to the brothers.

  “I could give you excuse after excuse, but all I can say is I fucked up, but I never betrayed my club.” There’s a knock on the door and I open it and there stands Zig Zag. I guess it might as well be now. I open t
he door and he steps in. Shine’s eyes are on him, but he nods his head to me.

  “Go on Cap.” Shine tells him.

  “I took a woman that wasn’t my wife and disgraced them both. I wasn’t a man about it and instead covered it up. I paid Javier to cover it up and he did but then she got word to us that she was knocked-up. I still didn’t come clean with anyone. I could say I was trying to protect Lil because we had been trying to have a child but every time she conceived it wasn’t long before she miscarried but that would be a lie of sorts. I couldn’t face losing Lil and I knew if she had to face another woman pregnant with my child that she wouldn’t be able to handle it, so I gave Javier more money and he came back each month for more. He gave some of it to Patsy and then spent the rest. When Patsy gave birth to our daughter she went off the deep end. She ended up alone when she died, and our daughter went up for adoption. I kept track of the girl until the final adoption papers where signed and filed. I checked out the adoptive parents and they were just what they presented themselves to be. Every dime I paid Javier was from my accounts and I didn’t know that Patsy was affiliated with any club. I met her, and she had nothing to do with the club and I had no idea it would touch the club years later. My life has been dedicated to this club and Lil for years and that never changed. I was just a damn fool and I would appreciate it if Lil is not dragged into this. I have caused that woman enough pain.” I love Cap and I am man enough to say it because he and Lil taught me that when they took me in and I respect them both, but I have no room to judge anyone. I know they will ride this out to the other side because that is who they are. I see the same look in Shine’s eyes.

  “You told Lil everything?” Shine asks.

  “I did and when this is all taken care of the two of us are going to take that trip she has always been wanting and we will work it all out.” Cap answers.

  “Why did you never tell me that you had dealings with my dad?” Cap looks at Rebel.

  “If it had anything to do with the club, I would have but this was personal and none of your damn business.” Cap answers.

  “When you gave me the gavel in Quitman, you told me that anything to do with the President had to do with the rest of the club so to clean my shit up.” Cap is shaking his head yes but then stops and looks sharply at Rebel.

  “Do you see the club could have changed the outcome in any way? When you cut Jade loose could you have changed any of the blowback to the club, even though that was not your intention to have blowback on us. It’s the same damn thing. I thought I had a handle on it.” Cap says in a matter of fact way. That leaves Rebel with nothing to say.

  “Enough said.” I speak up and Cap and Rebel both look at me. Cap fucked up and there is nothing else to say.

  “That brings me to the next subject. I have the list of traitors and then there is Zig Zag who forgot to tell us that he works for the government.” Shine looks at Zig.

  “Who is on the list?” Sarge asks.

  “I’d like to know that myself.” Chief speaks up. Brody has been unusually quiet.

  “Trick and Boozer, which have been missing since the night the clubhouse was hit. Tisha Sparks and Sin. That’s three brothers who betrayed us and they were setting up Red Cap and Tip to take the fall for the things they did with Tisha’s help of distracting Red Cap. Sin was working inside the Quitman clubhouse and Trick and Boozer in the Tyler. Tisha has been working between the two and reporting back to the community and the Hell Keeperz MC. Cue Ball is picking her up as we speak.” Shine finishes.

  “I got the text they are at the shed.” Rebel says. “Sin has been left to guard my woman and my Ma. Never once has he given me a reason to distrust him. He’s been one of my best friends since we were in school. Why would he turn on us now?”

  “From the papers we were given today, money. He’s in deep with his gambling again. He’s working off his markers.” Shine tells Rebel.

  “He’s been left alone with Charity on more than one occasion, why hasn’t he made his move?” Brody asks.

  “Timing is my guess. If he showed his hand too soon then he would be caught, and he knows the consequences. Brothers don’t go to jail, they go to hell for betraying us.” I answer for Shine, but he nods his head yes.

  “Chief, we have appreciated your help and we are in debt to you, but no one could blame you for getting back to Dallas. If you had a run in with the Possessed Blood Souls MC they may strike your club while you are here, especially if they get wind of what we have found out.” I see Chief thinking about it.

  “I need to talk to Sarge and then I will get back with you and I will probably roll out of here tonight. You don’t owe me a damn thing, I was repaying a debt of Whiskey’s and now we are square, the rest of this seems like club business, yours, not mine, so we will step out.” Chief points to Sarge and then the door. They both walk over by me and I move so they can get out the door. Then all eyes go to Zig.

  “Explain to us brother, how you became a government agent and you forgot to inform your brothers about it.” I can hear the anger in Shine’s voice.

  “That’s the reason I stepped down from being the intel guy. I needed more time to run leads the government needed me for. I am more of a freelance contractor than an actual agent, but I have been dealing with Cooper Dean and his brother Sean. We have been working on trying to get a bead on Darren and Alice for three years.” Zig pauses and then goes on. “Once I started getting information on the community’s job on the side, I knew we were going to have problems with them. I couldn’t tell the brothers because then I would have been pulled from the job. The government has planned to get all the contacts they can from Darren and Alice and then eliminate them. The founders of the community are a black spot on the agency’s name, but if they used the contacts to take the bigger players out and then eliminate the founders it would look better on them. That would clean up the mess that had been made. I was supposed to take them out one by one, but this war we have had going on with the community has taken care of that issue. There’s very few of them left. The government likes that we are cleaning up the trail for them. Dead people can’t cut deals and expose anything.”

  “Your punishment will need to come from the brothers if they don’t take your cut because that would be my suggestion.” Shine is still angry, but he will leave it to a vote. “Brody, Cooper and Sean are either your woman’s uncles or one could possibly be her dad. They want a DNA test. They already took Faith’s but there is more.” Shine looks at me.

  “Faith and Charity’s family in Ireland are with the Irish mob and except for Cooper’s mom they have not had a female in their family for five generations. The family disowned Cooper’s mom because she liked men and was indiscreet about it. She snuck her three boys that included Darren to the United States to be safe and so they wouldn’t be taken from her to fight in the war they were entangled in. Long story short, to keep power over there you not only need sons to fight the war among families, but you need daughters to bargain with, so two families can be brought together and make a stronger army to fight other families. If their family know they exist since Charity and Faith are not married, they would try to kidnap them and marry them off to someone in another family.” I make sure Brody is still paying attention. It is long and complicated, and I think it is damn sick, but Brody needs to know of a danger that could happen. Better prepared than sorry. “You need to be married to Charity and soon. Then there is the fact the community wants to repopulate with Connors blood and your child is half Connors as far as we know. The sooner the better and it needs to be done by a priest. Irish people are Catholic and once married by a priest they won’t go against it. Anything else they do not recognize.”

  “Do the Irish family know about Charity and Faith.” Brody asks.

  “There were some communications between Alice and the family, but no one knows what was discussed. Alice hates those sisters and will do anything to destroy them. She has Samson as her right-hand man and he wants to make Charity suff
er and he wants Faith for his.” Shine finishes.

  “We were already making arrangements to do it the day after tomorrow. I will find a priest and get him to officiate. What about Faith? She says she is your ol’ lady but she didn’t mention this.” Good girl, Faith, you listened. She is learning like an ol’ lady should. “She is going to lose her shit when she finds out you are playing her even if it is for her own good. The plan that Shine and Rebel came up with is not going to protect Faith from her relatives.”

  “I am going to marry Faith. How do you feel about a double wedding?” All eyes are on me.

  “You can’t marry that girl. You will devastate her when she finds out why you married her. She is a very proud woman. Where is your head?” Brody looks half shocked and a lot pissed.

  “All of you can bitch moan and groan but I don’t want anything happening to her. She has accepted my claim. I did exactly what Shine and Rebel asked of me. She bought it all and I feel like a piece of shit for doing it but at the end of the day she will be alive. I explained to her there would be no physical relationship until after she is eighteen and that is going to be a fucking show of my restraint. That woman is hot, and my body wants her, and she wants me, but I am not someone that will take advantage of her that way. This needs to end and soon, but if she is married by a priest she will also be safe from her other family. I know when this all comes out she will never talk to me again and I can live with that if she is safe, I need to keep her safe.” That’s the only way I can explain it.