by Sarah Gay
Zee took Tori by the arm. “Tori, you alright?”
Suddenly the heat seemed unbearably hot. “Yeah. Sorry. Too many memories.”
“I want to hear them. Not all of them, obviously. But he was a huge part of your life, and you talking about him would never upset me.”
“Thanks. Another day.” It was still too raw and uncomfortable speaking to Zee about Jim. “I’m starving. Even raw fish sounds appetizing.”
“You must be famished.” He took her by the arm and led her inside. “Let’s leave the lovebirds to their nest building. They’re headed to the sushi bar anyway.”
It took a minute for Tori’s eyes to adjust to the low light in the restaurant.
“We’re the only ones here,” she observed.
The hostess, dressed in a red kimono, ushered them back to a U-shaped table where an Asian chef stood on the other side of the hibachi grill with two slabs of raw steak, chopped onions, and zucchini.
“How do you like your meat?” The chef pulled out two large, flat, stainless steel spatulas from his chef’s belt, and flipped them in the air. “Steak for you? No fish, the woman said. Is that okay?”
Zee nodded, then motioned for Tori to make her request first.
“Medium, please,” Tori said, smiling.
“Medium rare for me.”
The chef acknowledged their responses with a flick of his spatula. “Good choice. Are we celebrating a special day today? We are normally closed now. Birthday?”
Zee shook his head. “No. Just a day away.”
“Day away?” the chef said with excitement, eyeing Tori’s wedding band. “Is it an anniversary?”
The heat rose, and it wasn’t from the flames rolling off the hibachi grill. Tori’s face burned. She shook her head, quickly placing her hands under the table.
The chef’s demeanor grew somber. She couldn’t hide her guilt.
Zee grabbed her left hand from under the table, and raised it triumphantly. “Even better. We’re celebrating this beautiful woman’s rise to stardom. Meet the lead in the next big blockbuster film, Oh, if Only.”
The chef’s mouth dropped open before banging his spatulas together multiple times. “Congratulations! This is a big celebration. We need pictures. Many pictures.”
It amazed Tori how quickly Zee could lift her spirits. Within minutes, several kimono and chef-attired employees filtered through, snapping photographs. It reminded Tori of her days on the runway.
Zee leaned over and whispered into Tori’s ear, “This is a first for me. How ‘bout you?”
“First for me as well. Never been a screen actress before.” She placed a searing-hot piece of fillet into her mouth. When people say, melt like butter, this is what they must mean. “How did you come up with the title, Oh, if Only?”
“Seemed fitting, somehow.”
“Isn’t that from The Wizard of Oz?” Tori began singing, “If I only had a brain…”
“I was thinking something very different.” Zee shook his head, laughing. “Ready for our next stop? I believe the rest of the day will be spent outdoors.”
“Can’t wait,” Tori said, popping another piece of steak in her mouth. “Let me finish off this amazing food, then I’ll be ready to show the world what lies within!”
12
After lunch, Annie and Pax had led them on a hike up a red sand path near Snow Canyon. Zee hadn’t been sufficiently prepared for what Annie and Pax wanted them to do. He held his breath as he watched Paxton scale up the side of the red mountain.
Zee was all about adventure; adventure that had to do with water and jungle, not desert and mountains that had a very real possibility of falling to a crunchy death.
Tori didn’t appear as nervous as Zee as she helped Annie adjust the straps on Rambo’s doggy sling. How was it that Tori didn’t give Paxton’s climb an ounce of consideration.
Annie scrunched up her face, as only Annie could do. “This little guy makes me miss my doggy so much.”
Tori carefully placed Rambo into his sling. “Why didn’t you bring him? He’s not much bigger than Rambo. And he’s easy to travel with, right?”
“Yes. But he and Charlie, Paxton’s German Shepard, are best buds. I can’t separate them.”
Tori kissed Rambo on the nose. “I find animal bonding interesting.”
Zee held his tongue. He could go for some one-on-one animal bonding with his own species. He found his situation ironic and frustrating. He learned from his conversation with Kathy that he needed to practice expressing his affection. But, the only person he cared to express his affection to didn’t want to hear it, or wasn’t ready to hear it.
He had been sincere when he told Tori that he wanted to build intimate relationships based on friendship. But he couldn’t deny his desire for her. And what’s more, she told him to check out her legs. She was the one that kept staring at him, smelling him, and even telling him he was hot. What was a guy expected to do with that information?
Maybe scaling the mountain would produce enough sweat to quench his appetite for Tori. “We ready to do this, Pax?”
“Almost,” Pax yelled down from his precarious spot on the rock. face. “I’m minutes away. Bolts are close to being set.”
The red sand flowed into Zee’s running shoes as he rocked back and forth. “I’m ready.” Good thing sand didn’t bother him, or the microscopic granules rubbing between his toes would have driven him mad.
Paxton bounced down the side of the mountain like Tigger jumping on his tail, only he did it sideways, connected to ropes and bolts.
“All set,” Paxton said, checking Zee’s harness. “You’re ready to go.”
“Wait.” Annie scrambled through her bag. “I want to record this.”
Zee glanced over at Tori, who appeared to be assisting Annie with her digital camera.
“What lies within!” Zee yelled as he found his first foot and hand holds before beginning his climb up the rock face. “This lion needs to go back to sleep for a while.”
Pax’s voice echoed from below. “Hey, lion, do you want some pointers before…”
Paxton’s words diminished as they ricocheted off the walls of the red alcove. Zee did not, or could not, make the sounds out. He was half-way up and not slowing. All the muscles in his legs shook with intensity, but he pushed on, not stopping to examine the rock for the best holds. He got into the rhythm of rubbing his hands up against the slick rock until he found a hold, while simultaneously ascending with his feet.
When he reached the last bolt, he pushed off the rock until his body was perpendicular to its face, as he had witnessed Pax do. He traipsed down backwards, while staring up at the milky, overcast sky.
By the time he reached the soft sand, his leg muscles had transformed into gelatin. He removed his harness and sat, gasping. The three shadows above him stood motionless until he raised his face to them.
“I’ve never seen anything like that!” Paxton shouted. “Ever. And, you’re great in the water. If the BUDS trainers were here right now, they’d be shipping you to the Middle East today, no questions asked.”
Tori held out a bottle of water as she wiggled up next to him. “You looked like one of those rubber, slinky guys who walks down the walls, but you were scaling up a mountain.”
Zee’s ego soared. He hadn’t been trying to impress Tori with his endurance or strength, but he’d be an idiot to let this opportunity pass. He took a long swig of water. “Didn’t seem too difficult to me. Not a big deal. I’m sure anyone could do it.”
Tori grabbed Zee by the shoulder. “Zee, you looked like Spiderman up there.”
Zee would’ve yelled a self-congratulation and done a fist bump if he could. Instead, he hung his head momentarily to show his humility, then eyed Annie.
Annie followed his cue and lifted her sunglasses to catch Tori’s attention. “One lucky lady.” She winked.
Paxton unclipped the harness. “Tori, you ready?”
“Absolutely, just don’t expect me to
do what Zee just did. I’m not sure that I believe him when he says that he’s never rock climbed before.”
“I’ve a newfound respect for you, Zee.” Paxton wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “What gave you the willpower to do that?”
Zee couldn’t yet fully catch his breath. “I’ll defer that question to Annie.”
Annie stood, and, with her fist raised high in the air, shouted, “It came from a power that aches for moral transcendence. A power that lies in wait to demonstrate to all nations and peoples that we are capable of conquering the most daunting challenges. Zee has shown this world what lies within!”
Paxton turned to Tori, “Do you ever feel like you’re not getting the inside joke between them?”
“Oh, she gets it,” Annie said with a flirtatious smile. “Let’s hurry, or we’ll miss the show.”
Zee’s longing for Tori had subsided at last. He didn’t have the energy to stand, so he brought his knees into his chest as he watched Tori climb the rock. As she slowly stretched her elegant arms, and then her long legs, he willed himself to look away, but found himself back at ground zero. Why hadn’t he kept his head down?
“Zee.” Paxton motioned for Zee to join him as he held the end of Tori’s rope.
Zee’s legs trembled as he rose to his feet, but he wasn’t about to let on how impotent he’d become.
“I’m serious, dude.” Paxton looked Zee square in the face. “I’m impressed. And the Iron Man race is happening right here in a few days. You want to do it with me?”
“Pax?”
“Yeah?”
“Is it normal, after rock climbing, to not have feeling in your arms or legs?”
13
The afternoon sun, mixed with Tori’s intense climb, caused her to miss the cool mountains of Park City. Tori closed her eyes and tipped her head back, allowing the cool water from her water bottle to flow over her face and down her neck.
“I have more water if you need it.” Annie’s chipper voice personified her happy demeanor.
Why was Annie always so happy? Tori had to work at being moderately content these days. What would it be like to wake up every morning singing? Had Tori ever been that optimistic and content? It didn’t seem natural, but it was an attractive quality. Tori could see why Paxton adored her. After Tori’s climb, she and Annie had helped Paxton coil his rope and pack his gear back into his pack, but she hadn’t seen Zee in awhile.
Tori took another swig from her water bottle, then looked around for him. She had noticed him walk away when she was about mid-way through her climb.“Where’s Zee?”she questioned Annie.
“I think Nature called. I’ll go find him,” Annie said, taking off down the path.
Zee had been acting strange since they started up the canyon. Could he be upset with her? Did she say something to offend him?
Tori contemplated the silence of the red mountains. It was a different silence from her Park City neighborhood, which was relatively quiet. Here, there wasn’t any street noise, no humming clothes dryer, or clanking dishwasher. She closed her eyes, rested her back against the rock, and meditated on the sounds of the red cliffs. There were rabbits hopping across the sand, and whooshing bats capturing mosquitos as they flew across the afternoon sky.
“Tori, Annie told me you were looking for me.”
She felt a slight thrill, hearing him call her name. She opened her eyes to Zee’s warm smile. Why had she grown so anxious? She needed to relax. She’d make it a point not to guess what he was thinking, or feeling, in the future. “You okay?”
“Yep.”
“Thanks for bringing me today. I can’t tell you how enjoyable this day’s been. Today, and the chalk run, have been the two best days I’ve had in months, maybe even a year.”
“I can’t take all the credit,” Zee said, packing the remaining gear into the backpack. “Actually, I can’t take any credit. Annie arranged everything.”
“Where are Annie and Paxton?”
“Disappeared again.”
“I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, Zee. I want you to feel like you can tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking.”
“Sure. What I’m feeling. Of course. And what I’m,” Zee cleared his throat, “thinking.”
“You feeling good about us?”
“Absolutely.” Zee turned his back to Tori and moved his head from side to side as if he were searching the tips of the mountains for something. “I’m also feeling like we’ve lost our guides.”
Tori wrinkled her forehead as her brows knit together. “You think they went up there?”
“Quite possibly,” he said, nodding.
Tori shook her head. “But Annie was just right—”
“Here?” Annie said, circling around a large boulder.
Zee raised a brow. “Were you standing behind that rock this entire time?”
“Quite possibly,” she said, walking past them and down the trail. “Follow me. Paxton is preparing the final event for the day.”
The whistling breeze brought relief from the scorching heat as it blew across Tori’s soaked chest and tousled her hair. The wind also brought with it the light scent of desert flowers.
As they trekked out of the canyon, in the opposite direction from where they had come in, Tori searched the ground for flowering plants.
“Look, Annie,” Tori said, pointing to a patch of woody, green bushes that were topped with bright purple flowers. “I never knew desert flowers could be so beautiful, or fragrant.”
“I agree,” Annie said. “What do you think, Zee?”
“About the flowers?” Zee looked perplexed. “Those yellow ones are nice.”
Tori observed the light-yellow flowers he had gestured to. Their thin, long stems pointed straight up, and produced a single yellow puff on top of each stalk, reminiscent of a character in a Dr. Seuss book. The base of the plant was a mix of green, blue and gray; an aquamarine with a hint of gray.
“Those match your eyes!” Tori exclaimed.
Zee appeared even more confused. “My eyes look yellow to you?”
“No.” She laughed. “The base of the plant is a beautiful smoky aquamarine, like your eyes.”
Zee came to her side. “How’s Rambo doing in this heat?”
Tori pulled the doggy sling away from her chest to afford him a better view of Rambo. “He’s fast asleep.” She suddenly realized that her white t-shift was wet and clingy.
Zee whipped his head back to the trail and stopped abruptly, causing Tori to travel alone a few paces in front of him.
“Has he been drinking enough water?” Zee asked, coughing. “Because, I don’t think I have. Where is that water?” He shook his head, feverishly ransacking his pack for a water bottle.
A deep, low melody echoed off the shaded, rock walls.
“Zee, is it just me, or do you hear singing?”
“I could be wrong,” Zee said, “but that sounds like the music from Cats, the Broadway show.”
Their brief walk out of the canyon led them to the back stage of an outdoor amphitheater. The large structure comfortably rested against the red mountain backdrop.
“It is,” Annie trilled. “Surprise!”
“Got you there.” Zee shook his finger. “I’ve seen Cats in New York. Not a first for me.” He turned to Tori. “You?”
“This must be the Tuacahn ampitheatre. I’ve heard of this place. They get the traveling Broadway shows, just like San Francisco, or Chicago. It wouldn’t be a first for me either, but I’d love to see it again.”
Annie clicked her tongue. “Not see a Broadway musical. Perform in a Broadway musical.”
“No way!” Zee threw his hands up in the air. “And even if I did agree to do it, they’d never allow us to ruin their musical, no matter how much we offered to pay them.”
“But.” Annie blew on her fingertips. “For the right donation, they might allow a few groupies to dance and sing on stage with them during one or two songs during a dress rehears
al for elementary school-aged children.”
“How much of a donation,” Zee closed his eyes, “are we talking about?”
“Not too insane,” she responded. “I checked with Max, our accountant, and he thinks you can deduct most of it.”
“You called Max?”
Annie motioned for Zee to lean down. “He also said, Go get her, tiger,” she whispered, not so softly, into his ear. “Get it, tiger, cat?”
“You really think that your Navy SEAL guy is going to dress up like a cat and sing?” Zee laughed.
“No,” Annie replied flatly. “We are going to be sitting in the audience. You and Tori are going to have a once in a lifetime first.”
“No.” Zee shook his head, “Not doing it!”
“It actually sounds fun.” Tori felt a flash of excitement. She’d be taking the stage with world class singers and dancers. She ran her hand down Zee’s arm. “I would love to have them dress me in one of those cat costumes and turn my face into a feline with their professional theatre make-up.”
“Really?” Zee’s face looked pained.
“And think, no one will recognize us.” Tori said with encouragement. “It’ll be our secret.”
Annie got between them, pulling them each by an arm. “I’ll take you to the costume trailer.”
Zee reached his head around Annie to speak to Tori. “And this will make you happy?”
Tori released herself from Annie’s grip and began jumping up and down, screaming like one of those schoolgirls waiting in the courtyard.
“You understand,” Zee smiled, “that me doing this is only about you about your happiness, right?”
Zee was incredible. Tori couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather be with for such an exhilarating experience. “Yes, you’re doing something you don’t want to do, for the sole purpose of making me happy. Got it.” She giggled, touching his face. “Can’t wait to see you as a cat. I love y—.” Her heart raced. In the thrill of the moment, she almost told him what? She regained her composure.“I love this intimate, platonic, best friend relationship.”
“Right. Intimate, platonic, best friend. My thoughts exactly,” he said, clomping up the stairs of the costume trailer.