The Color of a Memory (The Color of Heaven Series)

by MacLean, Julianne

  A puff of air sailed out of my lungs. “But everyone thought you worshipped Alex’s father. Alex thought that was the reason you didn’t remarry for such a long time… Because you couldn’t get over the loss of him.”

  Jean shook her head. “What I couldn’t get over was my anger at his infidelity. To put it simply, I didn’t want to get married again because I didn’t feel I could ever trust another man. But then Garry came along and he changed my mind.”

  The timer on the microwave beeped, and Jean got up to turn it off. “I set that to remind me to put some meat in the slow cooker for dinner,” she told me. Then she moved to open the fridge.

  I watched her withdraw a package of chicken, set it on the counter and remove the cellophane wrap.

  “You don’t seem upset,” I said.

  She shook her head, but didn’t meet my gaze. “I’m over the fact that William cheated. I’ve been over it for a long time, but I always regretted that Alex didn’t get to know his half-sister better. All my life I’ve felt guilty about that, but I didn’t know how to change it. I didn’t know much about the girl except what Alex told me when he was little, after William brought him home from the race track on Saturdays. At first I thought Carla was Alex’s imaginary friend, but eventually I figured out that she must be the daughter of the woman William was seeing. I knew he loved her and I think he might have left me for her eventually, if he hadn’t passed away.”

  Jean dropped the meat into the slow cooker and threw the Styrofoam packaging into the garbage. She then returned to the stool and sat down, but stared off into space for a while.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  She met my gaze at last. “Did you say there was an ultrasound photo?”

  Gathering my composure, I reached into my purse, dug it out and handed it to her. “Here it is.”

  She examined it closely, then turned it over to read the handwritten note on the back. Finally, her hand flew to her mouth. She broke down and wept.

  I stood up to wrap my arms around her. I didn’t know what to say.

  When at last she collected herself, she handed the picture back to me and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Alex would have been this baby’s uncle?”

  I nodded. “I went to visit Carla yesterday and I met Kaleigh, her daughter. She’s two years old now and she looks a lot like Alex.”

  Jean wiped her eyes again and chuckled with a hint of bitterness. “Then she must look like William, too, because that’s where Alex got all his charm.”

  “I see,” I replied, pleased at least that the worst shock of this was over—and to know that Alex may have inherited his father’s good looks, but somehow he’d learned something along the way and hadn’t repeated his father’s indiscretions.

  Jean and I sat for a moment, contemplating the situation.

  “Was I right to tell you?” I asked her. “I struggled with it. I thought maybe you’d be better off not knowing.”

  Her eyes lifted. “God, no. I’ve been wondering about little Carla for years. Now that I know she’s out there—that you found her and she has a daughter—I feel as if there might be some hope that I can make amends for not telling Alex when he was alive. How is she? Do you think she’d want to meet us? Because if she’s connected to my son by blood, I can’t imagine not knowing her. Enough time has passed. My anger toward William is gone now. I just want to know that Carla is okay, and I want her to know that she has family. I’m certain it’s what Alex would have wanted.”

  I covered Jean’s hand with my own. “I believe you’re right about that, and I think maybe he was the one who led us to her.” I touched my forehead to hers and smiled. “Maybe he called to us both from the Buick.”

  Chapter Fifty-three

  The sun rose high and bright in the sky on the day of Nadia’s barbeque in Waltham. David and I pulled into the driveway with Carla, Kaleigh and Wendy in the back seat of his Hyundai Tucson. We all spilled out laughing when the girls couldn’t contain themselves at the sight of Nadia’s new play structure. It boasted a two-level clubhouse with French windows, a spiral wave slide, two swings and a glider, a rock climbing wall, monkey rings and a water cannon.

  “Let the fun begin,” David said as he stepped out and looked around the lush green yard.

  Nadia and Jesse came out to greet us, and Ellen led our girls to the swing set.

  “You must be Carla,” Nadia said. She introduced Jesse and invited us all to sit on the porch where we could watch the girls play.

  Since David was driving, Carla and I opted for chilled wine with raspberries, and it wasn’t long before we were laughing and sharing parenting tips and tales about our girls.

  Eventually, Carla broached the subject of our connection as a group, and she leaned forward in her deck chair to address Nadia.

  “How has your health been since the transplant?” she asked. “I read up on organ donation, and it’s quite a fascinating subject.”

  “Fascinating and miraculous,” Nadia replied. “I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for your brother’s generous gift.” She laid a hand over her heart. “I feel him in here every day, and I’m so grateful for the choice he and his family made.”

  Another vehicle pulled into the driveway just then, and Jesse rose to his feet. “It’s Jean and Garry.” He ventured down the stairs to greet them.

  Carla and I shared a look. We had talked about everything in great depth, and I knew she was uneasy about meeting Jean.

  We waited patiently on the covered veranda while Jesse met them in the driveway, chatted for a few minutes, then escorted them up the stairs.

  “This is Jean and Garry,” Jesse said. “Of course they know most of us, but this is Carla, and that’s Carla’s daughter Kaleigh on the swing set.”

  Carla stood up and held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Jean smiled warmly. “And it’s about time, don’t you think?”

  Instead of shaking Carla’s hand, she stepped forward and pulled her into her arms.

  I was pleased to see the ice broken, then we all settled in for the afternoon to get to know each other better.

  Chapter Fifty-four

  A few days after the barbeque at Nadia’s home in Waltham, I sat bolt upright in bed, waking from a dream that left me gasping for air.

  Not because I was fearful or panicked, but because I was exultant.

  In the dream, I was strolling down a sandy beach with Alex. We were holding hands and the setting sun sparkled like starlight off the water as foamy waves rolled onto the beach in a smooth, steady rhythm. I felt deeply loved, and I laughed when Alex suggested we take off our clothes and go for a swim.

  “It’s too cold,” I replied with a laugh as I ran ahead of him.

  He proceeded to remove his shirt, then he kicked off his shoes and dropped his pants.

  “You’re crazy!” I shouted, watching him dash into the waves, naked as the day he was born. He dove in, then broke the surface and waved at me.

  I waved back at him, then he turned and swam in the other direction, out to sea.

  For a long time I stood on the beach, shading my eyes with a hand until he was a tiny speck in the distance.

  That’s when I woke up…feeling joyful.

  Chapter Fifty-five

  One Year Later

  On the third anniversary of Alex’s death, Jean suggested that David and I take the Buick out for a spin.

  We’d just enjoyed an afternoon of good food and fine wine, which she and Garry served on their back patio where the hummingbirds were flitting about in record numbers.

  She invited Nadia, Jessie and Ellen, Carla and Kaleigh, David, Wendy and me.

  David and I had been seeing each other exclusively and devotedly since the day we kissed on the side of the road after meeting Carla. We were now engaged and planning a traditional church wedding—something I’d missed out on when I married Alex in such a hurry years ago. I had no regrets about that—because I’ve come to realize every moment is
precious and none should be squandered—but I was excited about having the time to choose a wedding dress and a cake and plan an extravagant honeymoon that would last longer than three days.

  David and I planned to fly to New Zealand for two weeks in October, rent a car and see as much of the country as we could. Jean had volunteered to take care of Wendy, but she fully expected us to come home with the beginnings of another grandchild for her to spoil.

  But first, tonight, we had to take the Buick out for a spin and pay homage to Alex and his love for old cars and classic tunes on the radio.

  Wendy, Kaleigh and Ellen begged to come along, so we buckled them into booster seats in the back, rolled down the windows and drove off in search of ice cream with sprinkles.

  “Whose car is this?” Wendy shouted giddily. “Is it Grandpa Garry’s?”

  “You know whose car it is,” I replied with a teasing grin, turning to look over my shoulder.

  “It’s Daddy’s,” she said.

  “That’s right. And Wendy’s daddy is your Uncle Alex,” I said to Kaleigh, who nodded at me. “And who is he to you?” I asked Ellen, who was seated in the middle.

  “He gave his heart to my Mom,” she replied.

  “Very good,” I replied, pleased they all knew that this car had once belonged to an incredible man.

  “When are we going to get ice cream?” Wendy asked.

  David pointed at the shop just ahead. “In about two minutes,” he replied. “Do you think you can wait that long?”

  “No!” they all shrieked simultaneously.

  David and I laughed and clasped hands on the seat, then I turned up the radio so we could all sing along with Elvis.

  Epilogue

  What a life I’ve lived, but it’s not over yet. There are still so many joys left to celebrate.

  How blessed I feel to be able to look back on my years so far and know that my life has been splendid and magical, and all my experiences—even the painful things—were meant to unfold exactly as they did.

  I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world, not even the hardships. No matter how difficult it was to lose Alex, I would never wish to erase the time we had together and the daughter we created. My goal now is to be strong and continue to heal…to keep living, learning, and loving. To have faith in the future and myself.

  I still miss Alex every day, but I know he’s in a good place now, watching over all of us, perhaps coming to visit us in our dreams.

  That’s the beauty of a memory, isn’t it? It’s the place in our hearts where we can hold onto our loved ones forever.

  Rest in peace, Alex Fitzgerald. Perhaps we will all be together again someday.

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you so much for taking the time to read THE COLOR OF A MEMORY. I hope you enjoyed Audrey’s story.

  If this is the first book you’ve read in the Color of Heaven Series, I hope you’ll go back to learn more about Nadia’s incredible journey as a heart transplant recipient. Her story begins with THE COLOR OF HOPE, where she is reunited with her twin sister Diana after being separated at birth.

  In THE COLOR OF A DREAM, Nadia’s story continues with her life as a new mother and the recurring dreams that lead her to discover the identity of her heart donor, Alex Fitzgerald. But all sorts of other things happen to her along the way, where she is given the opportunity to discover what she is truly made of, and to learn the importance of never giving up, even when everything seems hopeless.

  Her twin sister Diana is first introduced in the second book in the series—THE COLOR OF DESTINY—where her adopted sister, Becky, discovers the identity of her birth mother. This happens through some incredible forces that connect the lives of different people in ways they never imagined possible.

  Finally, the first book in the series is THE COLOR OF HEAVEN, which is mentioned briefly in this story. Sophie Duncan is the woman who drowns in a frozen lake but is brought back to life and writes a book about her near-death experience.

  Up next is THE COLOR OF LOVE which is available for pre-order now and will release in August 2014. This book will explore the world of Carla Matthews, Alex’s half-sister, and you’ll find out what happens to her a few years after this story leaves off. You’ll learn more about the father of her child—a man who affects her life in a way you’ll definitely want to read about.

  Thank you again for taking the time to read this book, and if you enjoyed it please consider leaving a review at your favorite online retailer to help others discover the series.

  If you would like to know more about this series, my writing life, or my collection of historical romances, please visit my website at http://www.juliannemaclean.com. While you’re there, be sure to sign up for my email newsletter to stay informed about new releases, and enter my contest, where I give away an autographed book every month.

  Best wishes and happy reading!

  Julianne MacLean

  Coming in August 2014

  The Color of Love

  Book 6 in the Color of Heaven Series

  Carla Matthews is a single mother struggling to make ends meet and give her daughter Kaleigh a decent upbringing. When Kaleigh’s absent father Seth—a famous alpine climber who never wanted to be tied down—begs for a second chance at fatherhood, Carla is hesitant because she doesn’t want to pin her hopes on a man who is always seeking another mountain to scale. A man who was never willing to stay put in one place and raise a family.

  But when Seth’s plane goes missing after a crash landing in the harsh Canadian wilderness, Carla must wait for news… Is he dead or alive? Will the wreckage ever be found?

  One year later, after having given up all hope, Carla receives a phone call that shocks her to her core. A man has been found, half-dead, floating on an iceberg in the North Atlantic, uttering her name. Is this Seth? And is it possible that he will come home to her and Kaleigh at last, and be the man she always dreamed he would be?

  About the Author

  Julianne MacLean is a USA Today bestselling author who has sold more than 1.3 million books in North America, and her novels have also been translated into many foreign languages including Spanish, German, Portuguese, French and Japanese. She has written twenty historical romance novels, including the bestselling Highlander Trilogy with St. Martin’s Press and her popular Pembroke Palace Series with Avon/Harper Collins. She also writes contemporary mainstream fiction, and her 2011 release THE COLOR OF HEAVEN was a USA Today bestseller. She is a three-time RITA finalist and has won numerous awards, including the Booksellers’ Best Award, the Book Buyers Best Award, and a Reviewers’ Choice Award from Romantic Times for Best Regency Historical of 2005. She has a degree in English Literature from the University of King’s College in Halifax, and a degree in Business Administration from Acadia University. She lives in Nova Scotia with her husband and daughter, and is a dedicated member of Romance Writers of Atlantic Canada.

  Other Books for your Kindle by Julianne MacLean

  The American Heiress Series:

  To Marry the Duke

  An Affair Most Wicked

  My Own Private Hero

  Love According to Lily

  Portrait of a Lover

  Surrender to a Scoundrel

  The Pembroke Palace Series:

  In My Wildest Fantasies

  The Mistress Diaries

  When a Stranger Loves Me

  Married By Midnight

  A Kiss Before the Wedding – A Pembroke Palace Short Story

  Seduced at Sunset

  The Highlander Series:

  Captured by the Highlander

  Claimed by the Highlander

  Seduced by the Highlander

  The Rebel – A Highland Short Story

  The Royal Trilogy:

  Be My Prince

  Princess in Love

  The Prince’s Bride

  Harlequin Historical Romances:

  Prairie Bride

  The Marshal and Mrs. O’Malley

  Adam’s Promise />
  Time Travel Romance

  Taken by the Cowboy

  Contemporary Fiction:

  The Color of Heaven

  The Color of Destiny

  The Color of Hope

  The Color of a Dream

  The Color of a Memory

  The Color of Love

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Fire

  Two Years Later

  Seeing Through the Smoke

  Epilogue

  Dear Reader

  Coming Soon!

  About the Author

  Other Books by Julianne MacLean