Infinite Sacrifice (Infinite Series, Book 1)

by L. E. Waters

That night I come back home after he’s asleep, and Ophira’s waiting up for me.

  She asks, “What happened?”

  I explain what occurred, and she holds her hand to her mouth the whole time in horror at the predicament. Something horribly twisted, yet she understands completely.

  She says, “We need to send him away at once to start his own life.”

  We both nod and cry.

  Chapter 6

  The next day, I call for a boy to bring me Proauga. Even though she’s my oldest horse, she’s still hardy and fast enough. I ride her like I did so many times when I was young, over my cliffs and down to Nereus’s by the harbor.

  He hears me gallop up and is leaning in his doorway. “Oh, to what do I owe this honor?”

  I hop off and tie her reins to a small tree by the house. “I need to look at your helots.”

  He smiles immediately. “I’ve heard of the order.” He purses up his lips as though he’s up to something. “You’re more than welcome to my helots, although I don’t think any of them are as fine as Theodon there.”

  I cringe.

  “He’s not so young. That should not sway you. He can do the job at seventeen.” He looks up to the sky. “Oh, to be seventeen again.”

  “No, Theodon is entirely out of the question. I’m practically his mother,” I say, wishing I can take practically out so he will stop this conversation.

  “I see, all right, fine, then. My helots are your helots.”

  With a smile, he sweeps his hand across the field to show me all of them working below.

  “Is there one or two that stand out?” Squinting, I try to discern them from our distance.

  He looks down. “Well, if I was, say, interested in men”—he looks back up, straight in my eyes—“which I’m most certainly not, I would have to say there is one fine helot who’s going to be joining up next month with the Citizens’ Army. Very Spartan-like.”

  “Which one is he?” I say with my hand over my eyes to block the glare.

  Nereus points to a tall man with broad shoulders as he heaves a bale of hay onto a cart. He is nice-looking and does have a pleasing shape.

  “How’s his temperament?”

  “A good worker and never causes any trouble.”

  “Do you mind sending him up to the farm tonight, so I can talk to him and see if he would agree?”

  Nereus smiles wickedly, and I know this is too much fun for him. “I’ll do what I can.”

  Part of me is nervous he’ll wreck the whole thing, but it’s my only option. I get back on Proauga and ride back home. I pass right by Theodon on his horse, and I stop, hoping he’ll talk to me, but he keeps riding with his gaze fixed in front of him.

  I tell Ophira all about the helot, and she laughs. “Maybe I can do my part for Sparta too!”

  She does a provocative little dance right as the helot rides his horse up. I make a face at her, and she almost drops the chicken she just cooked. Shooing her back into the kitchen, I go out to meet him. I thought he was tall in the fields, but now I see he’s towering.

  “What’s your name?” I ask.

  “Demetrius,” he says with a nervous little bow of his head as he removes his dog-skin cap, releasing waves of dark brown hair.

  This is a mistake. How is somebody supposed to make something like this happen? I decide to give up on the idea and simply get through dinner.

  “My name is Alcina.”

  I gesture for him to come inside and notice he has to duck under the low doorways. Once he is seated at the table, I offer him a bowl of olives to start, and he removes a few with his well-washed hands. After I pour him some wine, he starts feeling more comfortable and looks up, exposing his beautiful, grey-blue eyes.

  Ophira tries to make conversation lighthearted after she’s set down the chicken, goat cheese, and vegetables and asks, “Does Nereus bless you with all his stories of sailing the high seas?”

  He relaxes at this. “He follows all of us around, and it has gotten so that we came up with a rooster call”—he demonstrates with gumption—“and we all run and hide.” We all laugh, and he keeps going, “And whenever we see he has someone trapped, another will pretend to need the captive’s help to release him, though it backfires since Nereus usually volunteers too.” As if suddenly remembering I’m not a helot, he swiftly says, “But he treats us very well.”

  Ophira switches the subject as she gets up to serve us both. “Do you live with family?”

  I tense at the question. If he speaks of a wife and children, I’ll have to say goodnight to him there.

  He shakes his head. “I stay with friends.” He looks up from his plate. “I’ve nothing to worry about when I leave for the army.”

  “Why are you going to take your chances on Sparta’s frontline?” I ask.

  He connects with my eyes. “There is nothing better to die for than the freedom of your future children.”

  With this answer, Ophira gives me a subtle nod of approval, and I say, “That is a good reason.”

  Ophira and I both think of Theodon.

  Just then, Theodon walks in and looks Demetrius up and down across the table. Demetrius seems confused, as if he’s wondering if I’m testing a couple of helots out for the job.

  “Demetrius this is Theodon. Theodon this is—” I try.

  “A helot. I get it.”

  Ophira gives him a full plate. He looks down and starts shoving the food in his mouth as fast as he can so he can leave the table.

  “Theodon is Ophira’s son,” I say as I place a bowl of grilled chestnuts and pomegranates before Demetrius.

  Demetrius looks relieved and takes a piece of pomegranate to his mouth. He asks Theodon, “Are you joining up also?”

  Theodon glances up with a dead stare at Demetrius. “For the Citizens’ Army or for her?”

  After an uncomfortable pause, a confused Demetrius clarifies, “The army.”

  Theodon glares at me. “I probably will.”

  “Do you live in Laconia?” Demetrius asks, his lips turning crimson from the rubied seeds.

  Theodon shoots back quickly, “Do you work for Nereus?”

  Demetrius nods, probably wondering why he’s asking, and Theodon drops his fork, grabs a handful of chestnuts right in front of Demetrius, and leaves the table.

  Silence clouds the room.

  “I should go now.” Demetrius stands with his hat in hands. “Alcina, can I talk with you outside?”

  We walk outside. The stars are out in glorious numbers. I hold my arms, unprepared for the early fall chill.

  He stands in front of me. “Nereus told me about what you need, and I’d be glad to help.”

  I’m surprised he’s so forward. He seemed so quiet at the table.

  “I need to think about it a little more, but thank you for offering your… service.”

  He nods, replaces his hat, and mounts Zale—handling her much better than Nereus could. He gallops away, and I wonder if I’ll actually see him again.

  ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

  The next morning, I wake to Ophira screaming for me. I run outside to see Theodon throwing all sorts of things into our cart with his horse attached. He glares at me and continues to stack things.

  “He’s leaving! He’s leaving for Laconia!” Ophira cries hysterically. She looks at me like I can do something, then turns to yell at Theodon, “You can’t go out there by yourself. The fall is when they have krypteia! Spartan soldiers kill helots without repercussion! They always attack the strongest helots!”

  “Well, Demetrius seems to be much more preferred by Spartans, so I’m safely inferior,” Theodon directs at me.

  “Alcina! Tell him he can’t take your things! Tell him he can’t take your cart!” Ophira desperately pleads.

  Theodon pauses, testing me if I’ll assert this power for the first time in his life.

  “I won’t tell him not to take the cart, Ophira.” She covers her face in her hands as I continue, “But Theodon, don’
t you think it would be better to go after the fall when the ceremony is over?”

  “Stop telling me what to do! I’m a grown man. I’m not your lapdog. I can take care of myself, and I’ll be fine. I will be more than fine!”

  I hold Ophira back and say, “If it’s your wish to go, then please take everything you need from the stock house.” Ophira continues to cry. “Make sure you bring the hunting knife and spears to protect yourself.”

  “As if you care.”

  He walks over to Ophira and takes away the hands covering her face.

  He wipes her tears with his sleeve and whispers, “Do not worry. I have everything I’ll need. I will be fine. I love you.”

  Ophira reaches to pull off her medallion, but Theodon shakes his head. “I don’t need it anymore, you keep it.”

  He kisses her forehead, and she finds her hands again to fill with tears. We lock eyes, and neither of us speaks. The words I have for so long kept from him are dancing on my tongue. He leans forward to kiss my cheek but changes direction at the last moment to leave a quick kiss on my lips. He turns and steps up on the cart and tells the horse to go.

  As he rolls out, he shouts back, “I will be back after I’m settled.”

  Ophira crumples to her knees.

  Chapter 7

  A few days later, due to the sadness and emptiness in the house, I realize I must have another child. If Leander had been home years ago, I could’ve had another son by now, one who would’ve filled my time and made me proud. I send word through a helot to Demetrius to meet me at the top of the cliff that night. I ride Proauga out and watch the sun go down. Darkness falls all around me; I lie down on a wide, woolen blanket and wait.

  I hear gravel footsteps, and I realize he must not have ridden. By the time I stand, he’s right behind me. I freeze, and without a word, he begins to touch my hair. I’m relieved I won’t have to suffer through the beginning awkwardness. He starts touching the back of my neck with his hand, brushes aside my hair, and kisses my neck. He continues to explore carefully, then lays me down on the blanket. I’m in heaven under the stars.

  I tell Ophira all about the night as she’s weaving in the bright light of the morning sun. She says, “Maybe I should head down to Nereus’s farm and see what he has there for me!”

  I grin. “It just might be worth your while.”

  “When are you going to see him again?”

  “As soon as I possibly can.”

  Laughter rings again through our empty house.

  Over the next three weeks, I meet Demetrius every night. His last night, I fight back useless tears since I know he’s leaving and I will never see him again. Spartans are never supposed to have such silly attachments anyway.

  Lying next to me under the thick, woolen blanket under cool, fall stars, he reaches out to pluck one of the last hardy wildflowers left in the fading field. “These wildflowers are so beautiful and appear so fragile, but see how well they survive the frosts and keep coming up with the sunshine.” He tucks it into my hair with a steady, warm hand.

  I brush a weak tear away quickly as he pulls his coarse tunic over his head before he turns back to me.

  In his most cheerful voice, he tries, “Look on the bright side—if you aren’t with child, you’ll get to hand-pick another fine helot.”

  I hit his arm, angry he would joke about such things.

  He stands up and brushes himself off. “It was the happiest three weeks I’ve ever had.” He kisses my forehead. “Either I’ll die happy or I’ll come back to claim you.”

  He removes the worn dog-skin hat and crowns my head with it, then, with a sad smile and glistening eyes, he turns and walks out of my life.

  ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

  Three weeks later, I’m getting sick, ecstatic I’m going to have a child. The sadness of Theodon and Demetrius disappears to be replaced by new hopeful thoughts. Theodon comes back at this time and gives a weak, “Congratulations” when Ophira tells him of my news. It’s great to have him back, but he’s different—unhappy and distant. Before he leaves, he tells us he won’t be coming back for months, since it’s a dangerous time to travel with krypteia coming. Ophira hugs him, and he leaves on his horse.

  Two weeks later, Nereus is banging on our door. We run out to see Arcen, bloodied and bruised in the back of Nereus’s cart.

  Nereus steps off the cart and wipes his brow. “That old friend of mine in agoge brought him to me. Said he found him by the road like this and thought we should take care of him before the agoge boys got to him.” Nereus gives me a serious look. “For him to lose like this is a disgrace punishable by death or exile.”

  “Please thank your friend for me.”

  Ophira and I carry him in while Nereus ties up the horse. Ophira gathers everything we’ll need to try to fix him and lays him down on his old mattress. He’s gotten so much taller since the last time we’d seen him, but his growth has stretched his already frail flesh thinner. We do what we can and go to bed. It takes two days before he can speak to us.

  As we’re feeding him chicken broth, he tells us what happened. “I was sent out for krypteia with nothing but my cloak. I had to steal everything I needed or find it in the wilderness. I was alone, with no one else to help me.”

  I turn my eyes away as he breaks down in sniveling tears.

  Ophira hands him a piece of cloth to wipe his nose, and he continues, “I couldn’t come back until I killed a helot. I knew I had to prove myself, knew I could finally make them respect me. That’s when I saw him—this big, strong helot walking down the road alone at night. I grabbed a stick, snuck up, and clubbed him on the back of the head. He fell, and I hurried to strangle him before others could come to help him. As I was choking him, I saw it was Theodon.”

  Ophira’s hands fly to her mouth and stomach.

  A wave of fear sweeps through me, and I grab him by his scrawny shoulders. “What did you do, Arcen! Tell me what you did!”

  He winces in pain and cries out, “Of course I stopped! But he went mad, started punching and hitting me like I’d known it was him! I didn’t even get a chance to explain to him!”

  Ophira starts crying as I put my hands to my head. “Was he hurt?” I ask.

  “Oh, you would care about him first! I’m your son, but whom are you concerned with? The helot boy!”

  Ophira flees the room as I stand above him and say in a low tone, “You’re lucky you’re so badly damaged, son, because if you were not, I would beat you until you realized how disrespectful you are.”

  I walk out, and neither of us checks on him the rest of the day.

  Nereus returns a week later at night and says he has to sneak Arcen back into Laconia as agoge reassembles. I go in to fetch Arcen, who still lies in his bed.

  “I’m not going back,” he says, arms crossed.

  I expect this. “You’re going back.”

  “I can’t go back. You don’t even know the hell I’ve been through since you sent me away. They starve you. Freeze you. Beat you and have all the other boys beat you! I’m not like them. I’m not good at this!”

  I grab his cloak and whip it at him. “Arcen, you’re a Spartan. There is no choice for a Spartan! You can’t learn a trade or be a philosopher. It is not allowed in Sparta. There is nothing else!” I stand right in front of him. “Stand up, go back, and finish agoge. Once you get into the army, it’ll be much easier. They’re hard on you to make you stronger. You’re almost through. You must finish!”

  He grasps his cloak and bunches it up in idle hands. “If I go back without killing a helot, they will not pass me.”

  “Nonsense. Go back, tell them you fought, and you don’t know if the slave was killed since two helots came to his defense and took him away.”

  A smile breaks across his face like it just might work. I feel so disgusted he’s mine.

  “Now come. Nereus will take you back under the cover of darkness, and please, whatever you do, stay away from Theodon! Don’t fight anyon
e! Focus on feeding yourself.”

  I stick a whole loaf of bread under his arm. I kiss him, and he’s gone.

  Chapter 8

  It’s months before we hear from anyone again. Nereus stops by one evening and with a big smile. “You will be happy to know Arcen graduated agoge today.”

  Ophira lets out a little scream, hugs me, and I sicken at the thought I should be so relieved my son didn’t run back home.

  Nereus continues, “They wasted no time in sending them out as reinforcements to Leander’s army.”

  Thinking of Leander seeing Arcen in action makes me wring my hands. Regardless, we had a celebratory feast that night with wine, listened to Nereus’s stories, and enjoyed every word and peal of laughter. I start in labor on a summer day. I ask Ophira to help me outside and up to the cliff since I had my heart set on the baby being born up there among Demetrius’s wildflowers. This time we don’t worry if we shall call anyone because Leander is away and this baby won’t be examined since it’s a mothax. I labor more quickly this time, and when it’s time to push, I look out over the cliffs and hope this baby will be blessed. Ophira holds her up for me to see; she’s thick and strong. She has a full head of strawberry-blonde hair, pomegranate-red lips, and a peculiar mark above her right knee, but it only endears her to me more. I name her Kali and having her to take care of fills our days. She makes every day wonderful. She walks early and is running before her birthday comes around again. Theodon comes a few times to see her and is slow in giving her attention at first, but soon realizes she’s irresistible. Theodon visits one day, especially to spend time with her, and is here when we see a few carts and horses coming up our road.

  I scream inside.

  Leander, dressed in full armor, is on his way back. Legs hang off the back of his cart. I rush down the hill to them so fast it’s hard to stop. There is Arcen, lying upon his embossed shield, dead. I start crying; Ophira catches up and holds me.