Alias Smith & Jones: The Story of Two Pretty Good Bad Men
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In the second draft, Ralph was duly given this speech, Curry’s fate being a matter of professional interest to him, but the exchange was eliminated in the final rewrite.
This episode isn’t complicated or thought-provoking, but it provides an hour’s entertainment with charm and style, and that’s all Huggins ever wanted for his audience.
The Reformation of Harry Briscoe
“Reformed thieves — they’re the worst kind.”
Molly Cusack
STORY: JOHN THOMAS JAMES
TELEPLAY: B. W. SANDEFUR
DIRECTOR: BARRY SHEAR
SHOOTING DATES: SEPTEMBER 22, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 1971
ORIGINAL US AIR DATE: NOVEMBER 11, 1971
ORIGINAL UK AIR DATE: DECEMBER 20, 1971
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, along with their wagon driver Jim, attempt to keep a herd of cows together on a drive when they happen upon two nuns. The sisters’ wagon has suffered a broken axle. The best solution is for the sisters to drive the boys’ wagon while Jim rides one of the horses.
When they stop to make camp, Sister Julia, inviting the boys to evening prayer, wonders if they’re Catholic. No, we’re “Kansans, Ma’am,” Curry replies. Chuckling, Heyes explains that there aren’t too many Catholics in Kansas. Curry expounds that they did go to church every Sunday at the Valparaiso School for Waywards where they grew up.
Next day, leaving Jim to watch the herd, Heyes and Curry escort the sisters into Pearlman. The nuns hope to sell their horses and then take a stagecoach to the convent. The partners head for the saloon and, watching poor poker being played for high stakes, mourn the lack of empty chairs. A young boy enters, calling for Smith or Jones.
Outside, Sister Julia tells them Sister Isabel has gone missing. They ask around town, talking to merchants and bystanders. Finally one man tells them, same as he told the other fella who was asking about a lost nun, that he saw her headed down that way. Heyes asks him to describe the “other fella.” The description of the snake face, eyes set too close and citified clothes doesn’t ring any bells for the boys, though it ought to.
Sister Julia decides to talk to the sheriff.
Meanwhile, in the girl’s dressing room of the saloon, Madame Madge tightens the laces on the new girl’s dress. A wig makes her almost unidentifiable as the former Sister Isabel. But Madge isn’t finished; she adds some eye makeup and a beauty mark on Isabel’s cheek. She also dispenses advice on how to deal with the men downstairs.
On the street, Heyes and Curry encounter their old friend Harry Briscoe, who’s once more working for the Bannerman Detective Agency. His job is confidential but Curry tells Harry they know he’s looking for a nun. With the secret out, Harry confides that the woman’s name is not Isabel, but Molly Cusack and she’s not a nun, she’s a typewriter. She used to work a typewriting machine in an Independence, Missouri, bank before she stole $30,000. Harry is on her trail. The boys wonder why she hid when she recognized Harry on the street. How did she know him? Caught in a lie, Harry stammers that she must have seen him when he almost caught her in Lawrence, Kansas. Heyes and Curry see through the deception.
Sister Julia comes up with news that the sheriff is deputizing all the men in town to hunt for Sister Isabel. The boys warn Harry not to tell the good sister what the bad sister may have done. Excusing themselves with herding duties, they escort Harry away from her.
Still regretting the lack of empty seats at the poker table, Heyes and Curry sit with Harry in the saloon. Though Molly/Isabel serves them drinks, none of them recognize her. Harry suspects she somehow got out of town and may be hiding at the boys’ campsite.
While they help themselves to Jim’s coffee, Harry searches their wagon. Satisfied Molly isn’t there, Harry leaves the boys to their supper of bad beans and coffee that, according to Jim, “ain’t bad too.”
The next day the drive continues. At Jim’s insistence that he’s hearing strange noises in the wagon, Heyes checks and finds Molly. She left town the previous night after the search had been called off and hid in a buckboard going in the direction of their camp. “He’s a terrible man,” she says of her pursuer; she had to get away from him. She admits she’s not a nun, in fact, she was married to him. Asked his name, Molly is flustered but identifies him as George Beaudine. He was only a bookkeeper, though he told her he was an investment banker.
Heyes compliments her on her story but lets her know that he and Curry don’t believe it because they’ve known her pursuer, Harry Briscoe, a long time. They tell her what they know, about her working as a typewriter and robbing the bank. That much is true, she concedes, but Harry courted her because he needed a partner to help him steal the money. It was easy to do but then she realized what a terrible person he was, so she hid the money and ran away, planning to keep it all for herself.
The boys wonder how Molly managed to convince Sister Julia she was a nun. It wasn’t hard, Molly says, she was born Catholic, her parents came from Kilkenny and her sister is a nun. Her father, after years of suffering just for being Irish, taught her not to get mad, but to get even. Curry almost blows his alias, protesting that he’s Irish too; Molly wonders that “Jones” is Irish? His grandparents came from Londonderry, which Molly dismisses as being in Ulster. Ulstermen are the Orangemen who dropped the o’s and mac’s from their names, so in America they’d be considered proper Englishmen. A true Irishman in America is supposed to stand quiet and know his place. When everyone thinks a man like her father died of drink, it’s not proper for her to say it was from shame and hunger.
Heyes thinks maybe she grew up too angry and there are other ways to get even. It’s a shame, but they will have to turn her in when they get to a town. They can’t be associated in any way with a bank robber. Despite Molly’s pleadings and promise to share the money, they stand firm. “Smith and Jones?” Molly begins to suspect why they can’t help her and regrets that she’s thrown in with reformed thieves.
Next morning, Harry startles the sleeping Heyes, Curry, Molly and Jim. While Harry ties them up, his cohort Sam keeps them covered at gunpoint. Harry never did go back to the Bannerman Detective Agency after Heyes and Curry saw him last, and now he’s after the stolen money. Sam, frustrated at Harry’s slowness, grabs Molly and rips off her veil. Slitting it open, he finds the money sewn inside. Harry grabs a handful of dollars and then, leaving them tied up, he and Sam ride away.
Working loose their bonds, Heyes unties Jim’s hands too, then he and Curry mount their horses to go after the men and money. They leave Molly tied up with instructions to Jim to keep an eye on her. As they follow the horses’ tracks, they hear cries for help. A short distance away they find Harry tied to a joshua tree. Despite receiving his promised share of twenty-five percent, Sam took it all and headed west. Harry begs to be untied, but Heyes and Curry ignore him and ride after Sam.
They follow his tracks to a deserted barn where he has holed up in order to let his horse rest. They call to him but get no response. Suddenly Sam bursts through the doors on horseback, shooting at them. The gunfire frightens his horse, which rears and throws Sam to the ground, breaking his neck.
Heyes and Curry return to Harry and untie him. Harry has pondered his plight and decided he could never be a crook. Too bad it’s too late, Curry tells him.
That evening in camp, with Jim guarding Harry and Molly, Heyes and Curry kill time playing blackjack. Harry argues that they can’t turn him in because he knows they are Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry. That is a problem, so Jim will have to take Harry and Molly into town. Harry insists he’s really reformed and if they will only let him turn the money over to the sheriff, his record will be clean. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a grateful friend in the Bannerman agency, he argues. They could also let Molly go, truly a noble gesture.
While they’re distracted with the conversation, Molly has been working at the bindings on her hands. She escapes and, though Jim could shoot her off the horse, because she’s a woman, he can’t bring himself to do it.
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br /> With one of their problems gone, Heyes and Curry ride with Harry into Kettle Drum. They’ve decided to let him take the credit for returning the money. As he talks with the sheriff, Heyes and Curry wait around the corner, wondering if they’ve done the right thing. What if Harry turns them in? What if he is in the sheriff’s office merely asking for an escort to the bank? For some unfathomable reason, Heyes trusts him.
Harry returns, showing them the bank receipt and a telegram he’ll send to Mr. Bannerman about the stolen money. Shortly, a return telegram arrives reinstating Harry as a detective.
On the street, Heyes and Curry spot Sister Julia alighting from the stagecoach. She never did learn what happened to Sister Isabel. Curry explains about Molly being an imposter and her wanting to get even with the world. Sister Julia finds it hard to believe, but accepts it if they say it’s true.
They offer her a ride to the convent in their chuck wagon. Upon arriving, they are amazed to find Molly back in the habit as Sister Isabel. Sister Julia tells them they shouldn’t be so surprised.
GUEST CAST
J.D. CANNON — HARRY BRISCOE
JANE MERROW — MOLLY/SISTER ISABEL
JANE WYATT — SISTER JULIA
DUB TAYLOR — JIM
JOYCE JAMESON — MADGE
READ MORGAN — CHARLEY
ALAN BAXTER — SAM
BEVERLY CARTER — LAURA
C. ELLIOTT MONTGOMERY — GROCERY CLERK
Producer Roy Huggins used events in his own history as part of the story line. Interviewed for this book, he recalled that either Curry or Heyes said he’s Irish and the nun, who was supposed to come from the south of Ireland, said, “if he wasn’t Catholic, he wasn’t Irish, he was an Ulsterman or an Orangeman.” Huggins still felt very strongly about that because “I have the misfortune of having a name that is Irish but is also English…It comes from a very weird Gaelic spelling pronounced ‘O’Hugan’, spelled ‘O’Haogain’ as pronounced in Ireland. When I was young, with an attitude, and I would find that people thought I was English, I’d say, ‘I’m not English, for God’s sake. Where’d you get that idea? It’s an Irish name.’ But I found out later that Huggins is, well, it’s not a common name anywhere, but there are plenty of such names in Ireland…in England. So I often ran into this very thing that I toyed with on the show because I was Catholic. And I was expressing myself here.”
Given Huggins’s Catholicism and the many religious references Heyes and Curry make, it was only a matter of time before a priest or nun showed up in the series. Teleplay writer B.W. Sandefur described Sister Julia as “an earthy sort in word and manner. Oh, she’s reverent enough, absolutely devout. But she’s uniquely perceptive to the needs of those who have chosen a more mundane path. Homely, penurious and sharp witted, she’s hardly man’s best friend, but is particularly well suited as God’s.” Huggins added that she should say something to Heyes and Curry about not having to be a churchgoer to be a good person.
“Thus we characterize her as not being a conventional Christian.” [33]
Perhaps references to his own past gave Huggins the idea, because in his story notes for Sandefur, Huggins exposed an unusually large amount of Heyes and Curry’s history. He wrote, their “families lived right next to each other in Kansas, and they grew up together. There were southern raiders in Kansas during the Civil War…their folks had farms next to each other. Their farms were raided — and both Heyes and Curry were suddenly orphans.” [34] Curry gets carried away and elaborates on their background in reply to Sister Julia’s questions. When the sisters have left to pray, Heyes believes that, if Curry had continued to talk, he’d have told the sister about the price on their heads. In his first draft, Sandefur continues Heyes’s berating of Curry, ordering him to get carried away with cooking supper. Three weeks later, Huggins read the script and wanted that part cut. “Our boys are equals. Curry does not always defer to Heyes. Curry is just as sharp as Heyes — but he just doesn’t scheme as thoroughly as Heyes. He is not as devious as Heyes.” [35] Indeed, the devious one in this episode is Molly, the “typewriter.”
In 1874, the Remington Model 1, the first commercial typewriter, was placed on the market. Less than five thousand were sold, so it was not considered a great success but it founded a worldwide industry and brought mechanization to dreary, time-consuming office work. Mark Twain bought one for $125 and became the first person to submit a novel in typed form to the publisher. The machine became popular and soon secretaries were trained to use them, creating a new career field. The operator was called a typewriter too until 1885 when the word “typist” was coined. [36]
Dreadful Sorry, Clementine
“For an operation that’s supposed to lean on trust, this one is off to a devious start.”
Hannibal Heyes
STORY: JOHN THOMAS JAMES
TELEPLAY: GLEN A. LARSON
DIRECTOR: BARRY SHEAR
SHOOTING DATES: SEPTEMBER 30, OCTOBER 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 1971
ORIGINAL US AIR DATE: NOVEMBER 18, 1971
ORIGINAL UK AIR DATE: DECEMBER 27, 1971
Clementine Hale strides briskly towards the Boonville saloon, men scattering in disbelief as she pushes past them to enter the building. They watch in shock until she comes out again, still moving purposefully.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry enter the hotel and ask for their room key. The desk clerk, Crawford, hands it over, surprised they’re still hanging around such a slow town. They like it that way and plan to stay indefinitely. As they turn to climb the stairs, Crawford mentions that a stranger was looking for them. The boys abruptly about-face. “Fix us up a bill, Mr. Crawford,” says Heyes.
Heyes and Curry duck out the back door just moments before Clementine reaches the hotel. Crawford offers her his opinion that Smith and Jones are heading to the livery stable.
Curry is the first to see her. He gives a glad shout and both boys run to greet Clem with hugs and kisses. Clem is as glad to see them as they are to see her until she mentions that she wants them to help her steal $50,000.
Back at the hotel, Clem shows them a photo she has of the three of them. If they don’t help her, she’ll see to it that it is added to their Wanted posters.
That night Heyes sneaks down to the hotel safe and steals the photo.
The next day, Heyes, Curry and Clem take the stage to Silver Springs. Clem explains that she wants to steal the money from Winford Fletcher, a man who swindles helpless widows and steals money from people who trust him. With the photo now in their possession, Heyes and Curry are less amenable to Clem’s plan. As she watches indignantly, Heyes sets fire to the only picture in the world of them…except for the one she has in a safe deposit box in Denver.
From the hotel balcony, Clem and the boys watch Fletcher leave the Silver Springs Land Office. Clem is impatient; she wants them to get the $50,000 right away, but Curry points out they can’t stop him like they could a train. Knowing Fletcher won’t have that kind of money in his pocket, they’ll have to find a way for him to gather the cash and hand it over. The man to help them do that is Diamond Jim Guffy.
Diamond Jim arrives at the train station, intending to make only a brief stop. The boys are alarmed to learn of his short stay; they need his help. Clementine joins them with a brilliant smile for Diamond Jim. He takes one look at her and changes his plans. He’ll stay.
The scheme begins as Heyes and Fletcher examine a derelict steamboat. Fletcher insists the boat is fundamentally sound, despite all evidence to the contrary, and is surprised when Mr. Smith offers $25,000 cash for the wreck. Fletcher quickly accepts it. As they return to town, Heyes asks about land ownership records, piquing Fletcher’s interest with his mention of Golden Meadows. Fletcher tries to find out why Smith is interested, but Heyes simply says goodbye, being sure to leave his wallet behind as he climbs out of the carriage.
Curry and Clem watch from their hotel window. Clem can’t see anything happening and is worried. Curry soothes her fears with a kiss. Heyes interrupts
them and they watch from the window as Fletcher finds the wallet.
While Curry and Clem retreat to the adjoining room, Heyes sets the scene, placing a letter on the floor as if it’s fallen out of the briefcase resting on a nearby chair. He opens the door a scant inch, a subtle invitation for Fletcher to come in and snoop. Satisfied with his work, Heyes joins the others in the adjoining room.
Fletcher knocks on the door. It swings open and he enters, calling for Mr. Smith. His eyes fall on the letter and he picks it up, reading enough about Golden Meadows land to be intrigued. As Smith enters the room, Fletcher drops the letter and holds out the wallet to explain his presence. Smith thanks him for being so honest and Fletcher leaves. Heyes, Curry and Clem are pleased. Fletcher is hooked.
Fletcher meets Smith outside the hotel, trying to find out if his business is related to Golden Meadows. Smith feigns irritation at Fletcher’s snooping, but relents and allows Fletcher to accompany him to Kingsville. As soon as they are out of sight, Clem and Curry, suitcases in hand, jump into a carriage of their own.
Smith and Fletcher visit Mr. Brandon and his sister (Curry and Clem). Smith offers to buy their Golden Meadows land for $3 an acre. Mr. Brandon ponders that, then makes a counteroffer. He will sell for $8 dollars an acre. Fletcher sputters at the outrageous sum, but Smith agrees. Miss Brandon, though, declines to sell her acreage.
Fletcher berates Smith as they head back to town. The land isn’t worth anything and could have been purchased for far less. Smith assures him his principals have guaranteed him a fixed price for Golden Meadows and he will make a profit even paying $8 an acre. Fletcher is skeptical, so Smith invites him to come along and see for himself, as long as he promises not to try and get in on the deal.