Forbidden Lessons

by Noël Cades

  "I really don’t know. If he asks, I’ll say she confiscated it from me. Or that somebody took it from me and gave it to her." Susie wasn’t worried about what would happen next. Instead she was enjoying the chaos as for once, in terms of school rules at least, she was totally innocent.

  * * *

  "It’s him or me, I won’t put up with it any longer." Mrs Ayers was screeching at the Headmistress after her traumatic encounter with Mr Peters. Her face was crimson and her eyes wild.

  Mrs Grayson did her best to calm the Geography teacher down but she appeared to be having some kind of breakdown.

  It had been difficult to establish exactly what had happened, other than Mr Peters allegedly having made an untoward approach to Mrs Ayers. In reality the Headmistress found it very hard to believe he would attempt such a thing.

  But every time she tried to get the facts calmly from Mrs Ayers, the latter started shrieking about "disgusting perverts" and losing her temper even more.

  "I will not stay in this school for as long as that... that deviant remains among us."

  It was clear that the Headmistress would need to speak with Mr Peters to try and sort the matter out.

  * * *

  The Head of English was still at a loss to know how his invitation to Susie had found its way into Mrs Ayers’ possession. He had by now had time to recover from his own shock and rehearse his own convincing version of events.

  The problem was the note. He didn’t know where it was or if Mrs Ayers still had it. Were it found, he would have to come up with an explanation of whom it had really been written to. Claiming it was a forged practical joke would be difficult, given that it was composed on his personal notepaper.

  Clearly he couldn’t admit it to it have been intended for Susie or any other pupil. His thoughts went to Miss Wingrove. Much as he detested her, she might be useful to his purposes now. And there was no need for her to be any the wiser.

  "A dreadful and embarrassing misunderstanding," he told Mrs Grayson. "I had of course intended the invitation for quite a different member of staff. I'm sure I needn't put her in a compromising position by naming names. How it came to be in dear Mrs Ayers’ possession I really can’t say."

  "Mrs Ayers claims you were in a state of undress and began verbally abusing her," the Headmistress told him.

  "Not at all. If I perhaps spoke strongly it was due to my own embarrassment, and I no doubt raised my own voice to try and calm her."

  Mrs Grayson knew both characters well enough to be quite certain there had been a blazing and vicious row on both sides. She wondered whom the note had really been intended for. She hoped it wasn’t written to one of the Sixth Form girls but given Mr Peters’ proclivities this remained possible.

  She wished she could sack the pair of them. If only they didn’t get such exceptional Oxbridge results.

  * * *

  Susie was on a high all night. She couldn’t know what exactly had happened - or what was still happening - but she felt in her bones it was something good.

  "Mr Peters might be mad if he finds out you gave his note to her," Charlotte said.

  "I’ll just say I never got it. Or that I left my English books in the Geography room by accident. He’ll so desperately want to believe it was all a big misunderstanding that he’ll lap up whatever I tell him." Susie was confident in her influence where the Head of English was concerned.

  "What about next term though?" Laura asked. "Won’t it be a bit of a bore having him constantly making his approaches?"

  "He’ll give up sooner or later. Besides, won’t there be another school play next term? He’ll be busy with the Sixth Form girls for that."

  They were supposed to be getting an early night in preparation for the House hockey tournament tomorrow but no one felt like sleep. Excitement always grew as the end of term approached, and Susie had increased the fever beyond measure.

  30. Fallout

  It was freezing showing up to the hockey pitch in the regulation games skirt and sweater. How Charlotte did it in blithe spirit every Saturday was inexplicable. They were allowed to wear tracksuits for regular practice but on match days the official kit was required.

  "I can’t understand how they endlessly punish us for hemlines a millimetre above the knee then expect us to wear these micro skirts for hockey," Laura said.

  The games skirts, in the school colour of maroon, were teamed with matching gym knickers. "Granny-pants" that nearly reached the navel and were reviled by everyone.

  "If Mr Rydell could only see you now!" Susie said to Laura as they got ready in the changing room. Susie had also agreed to play. Like Laura she was a competent player when she applied herself, which was rarely.

  Laura was already nervous about the prospect of Mr Rydell watching. She wanted him to be there, but no one looked their best splattered with mud, out of breath and with the winter wind reddening their nose.

  The news had spread rapidly around the school that Mr Peters and Mrs Ayers had declared open warfare. Speculation was rife as to what had occurred, but Susie managed to circulate a rumour that Mrs Ayers had made advances to Mr Peters and been rejected. It did not take long for this to become the dominant theory, even reaching staffroom ears.

  This gossip overtook the usual excitement over the House hockey tournament. Last year Michaelmas had narrowly won against Whitsun. This time Charlotte planned to smash them. But instead of speculation over this year’s winner the main topic of conversation was the shenanigans in the staff room.

  Everyone was dying to see if both teachers would appear at the match so they could witness the frosty air and hopefully a further row. But they were to be disappointed, as Mr Peters stayed away.

  Mr Rydell was among the staff members who did turn out to watch. Laura had to walk right past him. She briefly caught his eye and he looked her up and down. His gaze was both amused and appreciative. She flushed and could feel his eyes burning into her back as she went onto the pitch.

  "Someone obviously approves of your hemline," Susie whispered to her.

  It irked Laura that she had to pretend in public as though she and Mr Rydell were essentially strangers. Before it had been a thrill, a secret joke between them. Now she was getting tired of the endless discretion.

  She looked at him talking with Miss Wingrove and smiling at something the English teacher said, and for a moment Laura hated her. How was she allowed to so freely chat and laugh with him, when she didn't know him a fraction as intimately as Laura did?

  The whistle blew and she threw herself into the game. It was against Lammas and they easily won. To no one's surprise, Michaelmas and Whitsun both ended up in the final again. Whitsun had also won their early matches with ease.

  It was a bitterly fought game. Even with Charlotte leading the side it was no quick victory. In the first half Whitsun scored twice with Michaelmas only managing a single goal, all early on.

  At half time while they sucked orange segments Susie caught sight of Mrs Ayers glowering from the sidelines. Susie determined not to give her any satisfaction that day. She needed to keep the momentum going. It wasn't enough to win: Michaelmas needed to vanquish Whitsun.

  Finally putting some effort into her game, she surprised everyone with a rare streak of brilliance. Charlotte, always a generous player, saw Susie putting on a spurt and set her up for several goals. Susie's scoring spree in the second half brought them to 2:6 in favour of Michaelmas. It was an extraordinary turnaround.

  Susie's triumph was more than salt in the wounded pride of Mrs Ayers. It was boiling acid.

  * * *

  The humiliation of her House on the pitch, in no small part due to Susie Clarke, did nothing to distract Mrs Ayers from her rage over Mr Peters. Instead the two became conflated in her mind. She also remembered, though without realising the significance, his reference to Susie earlier in their row. He had dared to criticise her discipline of the girl!

  Clearly the brat had wound Mr Peters around her finger along with the oth
er staff who had had words with Mrs Ayers over the past weeks. The Headmistress had not been the only person who questioned the endless detentions she had given Susie. A couple of other staff members had also raised eyebrows.

  Mrs Ayers felt besieged. She felt that the entire school was persecuting her. And it was all the Clarke girl’s fault. She wanted only two things: Susie gone and Mr Peters gone. She knew the former would be more difficult to achieve since the girl was so sly and manipulative. But it had become an all-consuming obsession.

  * * *

  "What a day. What a glorious, glorious day."

  The four of them sat in the courtyard that evening basking in their victory. It was worth the exhaustion.

  "I honestly think I feel better about today than the first time I played for the school eleven," Charlotte said.

  Their contentment was short-lived as the shadow of Mrs Ayers fell upon them. "Susie Clarke and Charlotte Bevan, your socks are down. A demerit point each!"

  "Oh for god’s sake, it’s Saturday night," Susie said.

  "A detention for answering back and swearing!" Mrs Ayers shrieked.

  Susie looked at her. She assessed the situation. Now, she felt, was the time to strike.

  "No thanks."

  Mrs Ayers was momentarily confounded. "You’ll take a detention," she repeated.

  "No, I won’t this time, thanks all the same," said Susie. Her tone was pointedly flippant. The others sat there, hardly daring to breathe.

  No one had ever actually refused a detention before. Mrs Ayers had experienced acquiescence, sullenness, apathy, pleading, profuse apologising but never this.

  "It’s not up to you to accept or not. You’ll be in detention this week and the week after for insolence."

  "I’m afraid I won’t. I’ve had quite enough detentions from you." Susie’s polite smile and the contempt she put into her words incensed the Geography teacher beyond measure. Already unbalanced through her hatred of the schoolgirl and her recent traumatic ordeal with Mr Peters, she started screeching at Susie. A slew of insults flew from her lips. Other people around them were turning to watch.

  Susie merely sat there, smiling while refusing to respond, goading Mrs Ayers even further. Eventually she lunged at the girl, grabbing her by her shoulders and starting to shake her while she shouted and ranted at her.

  Laura and Charlotte, on either side of Susie, tried to intervene and get Susie away. But Mrs Ayers was deranged by her fury. As Susie struggled in Mrs Ayers’ grasp, Miss Partridge and Miss Vine appeared and rushed over to find out what was going on.

  Seeing Mrs Ayers assaulting Susie, Miss Partridge managed to drag them apart and ordered the girls away. "All of you, back to your House or supper or wherever you should be." They left in a mix of relief and excitement.

  "Pat, what the hell got into you? We’ll have to go to the Head, half the school has seen anyway." The Games mistress managed to get the Geography teacher out of the courtyard and towards the staffroom, Miss Vine following.

  * * *

  "She disliked me and became increasingly vindictive," was Susie’s explanation to the Headmistress the next morning. She had a scratch and bruise on the side of her face and had tied her hair back deliberately to expose them. There were also marks on her arms from where the Geography teacher had grasped her.

  Mrs Grayson had thought it better for the matter to rest overnight as far as the girls were concerned. She had already ordered Mrs Ayers onto immediate sick leave.

  "Did you give her any cause?" Mrs Grayson asked. She knew that however Susie may have provoked the Geography teacher nothing warranted a physical attack. Susie would also be perfectly within her rights to tell her parents and make a formal complaint. But the housemistress felt by instinct that Susie would not do this.

  She looked at the girl. Susie’s expression wore its usual mask of polite composure. Yet in her eyes there was a light of both satisfaction and defiance. Susie had gone into battle, and she had won.

  Either way Mrs Grayson had to get to the bottom of this. She already regretted not paying more heed when Grace Grant had raised concerns with her several weeks earlier.

  Susie had no intention of admitting anything. "You have seen my work," Susie replied. She had brought her immaculate Geography exercise book with her.

  "This is about more than work, isn’t it?"

  Susie paused. She was thinking past the Headmistress’s question which didn’t really need a response since they both knew what the answer was. "She had a choice," Susie said.

  "Yes, she did. But so did you."

  Susie couldn’t feel any remorse for goading the Geography teacher past the point of no return. "She was a blight," she said, using Charlotte’s phrase.

  Mrs Grayson felt partly culpable in the matter. Pat Ayers had been a problem for years and really something should have been done before now to moderate some of the worst excesses of her character. Perhaps her breakdown was inevitable.

  But there was no doubt that Susie Clarke had knowingly and deliberately accelerated it.

  "We all have a choice, Susie, even if we have no obligation, when it comes to compassion and forbearance."

  Susie felt momentarily small at these words. But she had never regarded her task as noble, only necessary. And it was done.

  31. The catalyst

  Mrs Grayson, Miss Wingrove and Grace Grant were discussing the situation.

  "The problem is that she didn’t actually do anything," Mrs Grayson said, referring to Susie. "Not something that one could pin down so to speak."

  There was less to say about Mrs Ayers. Her breakdown had been of little surprise to many of her colleagues who had regarded her as unstable for years. Miss Partridge, who had a degree in Geography, was taking her classes until the end of term. There was no regret, only relief, among the girls that she was gone. And among the staff too, not least of all Mr Peters who regarded her exit as a personal victory.

  "She’s more of a catalyst," Miss Wingrove said. "She doesn’t necessarily do anything herself, but others seem to behave differently around her. She’s a nice girl though, bright and popular. Loyal to her friends," she added, thinking of a couple of times where Susie had covered for someone else’s late arrival or provided a similar favour.

  "She clearly has little respect for authority," Mrs Grayson said.

  Grace Grant had been privately troubled ever since Susie’s odd confession about visiting Mr Rydell, even though he had corroborated her story. The whole thing had made little sense then and her unease had only grown. Miss Wingrove’s words began to cast a new light on things.

  The housemistress hadn’t really considered why Susie might lie, except for self-aggrandisement or to create drama. Schoolgirls did this so often that fantastic tales were par for the course.

  But what if Susie had lied to protect someone else?

  Most likely it would be one of her closest friends, her three dorm mates. Not Margery, certainly, and Charlotte seemed highly improbable. She was so focused on her hockey these days. Which left Laura. Could she have visited Mr Rydell that night?

  Grace Grant thought about Laura that term. So far as she knew the girl was still doing well at her lessons, was healthy, maintained her friendships. It was a time of change for many girls, growing into womanhood.

  Was it possible that Laura was the one who had propositioned Mr Rydell, with Susie lying to save her from embarrassment?

  But if that was the case, why had he backed Susie’s story? She couldn’t disregard his own statements, unless…

  Unless something very different and very, very troubling was happening.

  "You’re pensive, Grace, anything to add?" Mrs Grayson asked her. "I must say these are all complications we don’t need at this stage of the school year. It’s bad enough having to find a replacement Geography teacher mid-year, but now German as well."

  "German?" Grace Grant was startled.

  "Yes. That new young man has got another job offer. I can’t say it surprises me an
d perhaps to some extent it’s a relief," the Headmistress said. It was always a risk, hiring a young male teacher among adolescent girls, and they all knew it.

  "Nothing has happened, though?" Grace Grant asked.

  "There has been some minor silliness. We had several Sixth Form girls suddenly wanting to switch to A-level German in the first couple of weeks which of course couldn’t be accommodated. And the usual things like love poems fluttering out of his pigeonhole. Though he’s dealt with it all very well and has the respect of the girls, not simply their admiration."

  But perhaps there had been more than "silliness", Grace Grant thought. She needed more time to think about this.

  * * *

  Miss Wingrove was heartily glad that the poetry recital was a school event only without parents invited to watch. This had been considered but was ruled out due to time and logistical constraints.

  Susie Clarke’s rendition of "The Flea" was definitely not something an audience of mothers and fathers needed to hear. Even without Mr Peters’ special coaching it was enough to make the Earl of Rochester blush. Miss Wingrove couldn’t even bring herself to look at Mr Peters’ face during Susie’s performance. Surely even John Donne hadn’t intended quite that amount of innuendo in his lines?

  But it was Laura who took her breath away. Laura had originally been practising something by Keats but had changed her mind at the last moment. She claimed it was because Teresa Hubert was also reciting Keats, but several other poets had been chosen by multiple girls.

  Instead, Laura read Shelley. She displayed none of the self-consciousness or nerves of many of the other reciters. She merely stood in the centre of the stage, her gaze fixed above and beyond the audience, making no apparent effort to connect with them. Her voice was still and calm.