Sweet Surrender

by Wendy May Andrews

  Luc could not fault the wisdom of her words despite the fact that his own instincts were pushing him to dash off into the crowd to make all things right for her. Then he remembered they were supposed to go riding in the morning and he had an assignment to fulfill on the lady’s behalf. After watching Catherine walk away, Luc bade farewell to his brother and set out purposefully into the crowd to find Fletcher.

  Julianna fled to the ladies’ retiring room, slipping behind a curtain murmuring something incomprehensible about a torn flounce. She managed to keep her sobs silent as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

  Lucius has a brother! How did I not know he has a brother? Julianna’s mind raced over all the possible implications that had occurred to her as she had looked up in the ballroom to behold what appeared to be two Lord Ackereleys. She had managed to rein in her rioting thoughts at that moment, but now they held sway as she wept. Did I make the most awful mistake seven years ago? How can I live with this?

  No one must ever know! With that last vehement thought ringing in her mind, Julianna brushed the last of the tears from her cheeks. After checking to make sure she was alone, she stepped out from behind the curtain and grabbed a moistened towel to wipe the evidence from her face.

  Looking in the mirror, she could see she did not look quite right, but she was almost certain no one would be able to tell that the bottom had dropped out of her world that evening, and for that she was grateful. It was time to go check on Odelia and endure the rest of this night. She pasted a smile on her face, and although it didn’t quite reach her eyes, most at the gathering would never look deep enough to realize.

  Looking as serene and composed as she could manage, Julianna emerged from the retiring room feeling like she was a different woman than the carefree one who had arrived that evening. Everything hurt, and she had to struggle not to wince at the noise being generated by the throng of people crowded into the Earl of Westfield’s house. Not thirty minutes prior she had thought the sounds were invigorating, now they hurt her ears.

  Pulling back her shoulders and lifting her head high, Julianna strode forward. All her aristocratic breeding and training came to her aid that evening as she smiled politely to the various acquaintances she encountered as she made her way through the crowds in search of Odelia.

  “There you are, my dear. I have been searching for you everywhere.”

  Odelia turned a surprised face to look at her aunt. “Why were you searching for me? I have been here in the ballroom all evening.”

  With a shaky, distracted laugh Julianna explained. “I tore my flounce and had to retire for a moment, and then when I came out I couldn’t see you. With all the crowds, you were a bit hard to find. Are you almost ready to go home?”

  Now Odelia was shocked. “Go home? Why would I ever want to go home? Look around. The night is obviously still young, since there are such crowds here. I can even hear the major-domo announcing names, so people are still arriving. We could not possibly leave now!”

  With a somewhat wan smile Julianna replied, “No, of course not, never mind me. I shall be about if you need me.”

  Finally taking notice of someone other than herself, Odelia asked with some concern, “Are you alright, Aunty? You sound a little strange.”

  Bolstering her slipping smile, Julianna answered in a firmer tone. “Of course, I am fine. I shall just go and find some of my own friends and check in with you in a little while. Perhaps we can go in to the late supper together.”

  About an hour later when Odelia went to collect her aunt in order to go into the dining room together she was surprised to find her sitting along the wall with the older ladies and the wallflowers. However, since her aunt was deep in conversation with a woman Odelia didn’t know, it seemed to her Julianna was enjoying herself.

  When Odelia caught her eye, Julianna excused herself from the older lady she was talking with and went to join her niece. “Are you all danced out?”

  “Never!” declared Odelia with joy. “But I am a wee bit hungry. You had mentioned we ought to go into supper together, so I came to find you. Was I interrupting, or is now a good time?”

  “Now would be perfect,” Julianna lied with a straight face. Food was the furthest thing from her mind, and she wondered if she would be able to force anything past her dry mouth.

  “Are you having a nice evening?” Julianna asked, making conversation as they found seats after they had filled their plates.

  “Oh yes, I am having a grand time! I have danced every dance and have met some lovely people. Lady Westfield came to me with a couple of young gentlemen who had requested an introduction. Is that not just so droll?”

  “Oh, yes,” Julianna agreed with as much enthusiasm as she could muster as she pushed around the food on her plate.

  “What about you? Are you having a good time?” Odelia thought to ask.

  “I too have met some lovely people. Did you notice the young lady I was speaking to when you approached us? Her name is Lady Isabella Hetherington. She is quite a lovely young woman despite some unfortunate circumstances. She is terribly shy, so these large social occasions are quite difficult for her. Several years ago she had a bad fall while out riding and has a limp, so she does not enjoy dancing.”

  “Then why would she sit in the ballroom? There are other places to be this evening. There are crowds of people in other rooms here.”

  Julianna acknowledged Odelia’s logic but explained, “The poor dear loves music, so she wanted to sit in the ballroom for a time and just rest her foot. In the other rooms it is often standing room only. She doesn’t want to draw attention to her infirmity so she does not always ask for a chair. I should have introduced you to her – you would be a great friend for her since you do not seem to have a shy bone in your body.”

  Odelia laughed. “It’s true. I think I got my father’s gift for talking to anyone. Too bad ladies cannot go into politics. Of course, I would have to care about all those things to be a good politician anyway.”

  Julianna smiled in genuine amusement at her niece’s words feeling like her face was about to crack since it had been so stiff for half the evening.

  “Speaking of your father, I wonder where he is,” Julianna mused.

  “Knee deep in politics, I am sure. There is such an interesting array of guests here tonight, I’m sure he is having a grand time.”

  “No doubt you are quite right. Have you seen Fletcher by any chance?” asked Julianna.

  “Not for some time. He was in the ballroom for a while, but then I saw your friend bearing him out of the room.”

  “Which friend was that?”

  “Lord Ackerley, Viscount Beaufort,” Odelia answered with a flourish.

  In her distress, Julianna had forgotten about his promise to speak to Fletcher, and her promise to go out riding in the morning to see what he had found out. There was no way she was going to be keeping that particular promise, unfortunately. Just the mention of the viscount made her nerves jittery, and Julianna could no longer sit still.

  Seeing that Odelia’s plate was empty, Julianna stood up. “Shall we return to the ballroom?”

  “But you did not finish your supper,” Odelia protested.

  “That is quite all right, I wasn’t really hungry anyway.”

  “Well, if you are sure, I would love to return to the ballroom. Lead the way, Lady Julianna.” Odelia bowed with mock formality to her aunt.

  Odelia danced the night away, and Julianna managed not to draw any attention to herself, for which she was grateful. The crowds had noticeably thinned, and finally it was time to leave. Fletcher was nowhere to be found, but Hart came in search of the Montgomery ladies after asking a servant to summon their carriage.

  “Ladies, might I see you home safely?” asked the earl with an elegant bow.

  “Yes, please,” answered Julianna with heartfelt relief.

  Odelia pouted a little. “Must we really? I am having so much fun.”

  “I know, pumpkin, but the
poor countess cannot go to bed while there are ladies still in her home, and we are amongst the last to still be here. It is definitely time to take our leave. You would never want to be known as someone who overstays their welcome, would you?” Her father hit on just the right argument.

  “Of course not. You are right, as always, ever the diplomat. Take me home to my bed where I can dream that I still dance,” Odelia decided with dramatic flair.

  After taking their leave of the earl and countess, Julianna and Odelia were handed up into the carriage with much different sentiments.

  “That was the best night yet,” Odelia declared with enthusiasm. “I do believe I have danced a hole right through my slippers. I had so much fun tonight.”

  While she elaborated to her father, Julianna struggled with her own feelings. For her, it had been the worst night ever. It was hard to imagine that they could have been at the same event but had such vastly differing experiences.

  With relief, Julianna finally found her bed that night and was able to allow all her woes to flood onto her pillow. Despite her worries about Fletcher, she resolved not to go riding with the viscount the next morning. She just could not face him with these feelings so raw. Julianna questioned whether she could ever face him and wondered how she could endure the remainder of the Season. Repairing to their country estate was her keenest desire. Odelia and Hart would have to be consulted on when they thought would be a good time to do so. No date they suggested would be soon enough.

  Chapter 17

  The next day Julianna was sitting in the morning room staring sightlessly at a list she was supposed to be compiling when the butler arrived.

  “Lord Ackerley, Viscount Beaufort, has called to see you, my lady. Should I show him in?”

  “No!” Julianna declared with vehemence before she thought better of it, a sense of déjà vu flooding over her. After pressing her lips together to stem the tide of declarations that clamoured to be released, Julianna took a deep breath and continued in much calmer accents. “I am not feeling at all the thing, Hartley. Would you be so kind as to tell the viscount I am not at home to company this afternoon? I believe I shall retire to my chamber to have a rest. Thank you, Hartley.”

  On those words she made good her escape, leaving the butler to deal with her mess. Julianna was relieved that Odelia was not there to witness her distress over the viscount’s visit. With any luck Dee would have such a lovely afternoon out with her friends, she would have too much to talk about to notice her aunt’s distraction.

  Hartley was surprised by his mistress’ request since she was always so kind and hospitable. In all his years with the family he had never seen Julianna turn away a guest. But he had to admit she did look pale and piqued today, so it was possible the Season was proving to be too much for his much-loved mistress. And actually, this viscount requesting a meeting with the lady was none other than her former fiancé. No doubt the poor lady had her good reasons for refusing to see the cad.

  The butler was colder than usual in his dismissal of the viscount. “My lady is not home to visitors this afternoon, my lord. If you would like to leave your card, you may do so on your way out.”

  The viscount had been disappointed when Julianna had not shown up at their appointed meeting to ride that morning. He had much to tell her after his interview with Fletcher the night before. But when he considered how late the ladies had no doubt stayed at the ball the night before and how early they had agreed to meet, he had simply surmised that she had overslept.

  Now the butler was telling him she was ‘not at home to visitors.’ That was a far cry from ‘not at home,’ and Luc felt rebuffed. He thought he had come to know her much better over the past couple of weeks and would have sworn this was unlike her to behave in such a way. But given their history, he should probably not be surprised. Clearly, the lady had problems. He slammed out of the house in disgust vowing never to return.

  Just as he was swinging up onto the seat of his phaeton, Luc glanced back at the house. For a split of a second, he locked eyes with Julianna, who was peering out from an upper floor window. She hastily stepped away allowing the curtain to fall back into place, but the viscount had seen enough to know she was not coldly dismissing him. Her pretty face had been deeply imprinted with misery, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Luc’s instinctive reaction was to dash back up the stairs and demand to be allowed to see her, and he jumped back out of the phaeton. But with his foot on the bottom stair, he checked himself.

  He had no right to make any demands of her. She had barely given him permission to use her given name, let alone granting him access to her personal feelings. She had refused to see him. Clearly she was miserable, but there was little evidence to show he was the cause or that he could help her with her problems. For now, he would have to respect her privacy. He resolved to seek her out that evening.

  The only trouble was he had failed to ask the butler where the ladies were promised that evening. He should have asked to see Odelia. Luc again thought to dash back up the stairs but thought better of it once more. He was making a cake of himself standing there for so long in front of their house. If anyone noticed his conduct, it would be an on dit before the dinner hour.

  With determination, he forced himself back into his phaeton. He thought to head to the park to see if Odelia could be found there. It was his only option besides going to every social event he had been invited to that evening looking for them. He would do that as a last resort. Luc knew, even as that thought formed in his mind, that he was about to make a fool of himself over the Montgomery chit once more but could not find the energy to care.

  Luc was relieved not to have to ride around for too long before he spotted Odelia and her three companions. They had gotten out of their carriage and were strolling in the gardens. The viscount quickly pulled off the road and jumped down from his phaeton while his tiger scrambled to catch the horses leads.

  “I shall return momentarily. Walk them if you have to. On second thought, could you please turn them for me? As soon as I get the information I am looking for I shall be leaving the park.”

  He strode with determined speed over to Odelia and her friends hailing them as he neared. Odelia heard him first and turned with a smile.

  “Lord Ackerley, what a pleasure to see you here today. You know my friends, Lady Abigail Fielding, Mr. Kenneth Landon, and Mr. Tom Jackes, do you not?”

  “Yes, of course. It is a pleasure to see you all again. What a lovely afternoon for a stroll in the park.” By this point, the viscount was beginning to realize he had been rather hasty in his dash to the park and was unsure how to broach the subject he wished to discuss. Luck was on his side. With Lady Odelia, you just had to wait for the information to flow.

  “Is my aunt with you, my lord?” Odelia asked as she peered past the viscount’s shoulder.

  “No, I actually stopped by to invite her to come riding with me, but she was not at home to visitors,” he explained.

  “Oh, no! Did Hartley say what was wrong with her? I hope she is not getting sick. We are supposed to be going to the Duke of York’s grand ball tonight,” Odelia exclaimed as Abigail chimed in.

  “You absolutely must be there, Odelia. It is to be the event of the Season. It would definitely not be the same without you!”

  Satisfied with the information he received, Lord Ackerley tried to defuse the young girls’ worries. “Perhaps she is merely tired. Did you speak with her today?”

  “Yes, actually she seemed perfectly fine before I left, even though she was, as you said, a bit tired.” Odelia thought, her usually smooth brow wrinkled for a moment before continuing. “Perhaps you misunderstood our butler. My aunt may have had some errands to run and merely stepped out for a few minutes.”

  “Perhaps,” agreed the viscount with a soothing tone to his voice.

  Thus relieved, the four young people resumed their enthusiastic discussion of the upcoming ball.

  As the viscount was taking his leave Odelia
asked, “Will we see you there this evening, my lord?”

  Fearing he had already revealed far too much of his personal affairs, the viscount hedged. “Perhaps. I am uncertain of which commitments I have made for the evening. Will you dance with me if I show up?”

  Odelia was slowly becoming familiar with the ways of the ton and managed to put on a simulated mask of indifference. “Perhaps if you arrive in time for there to be any spaces left on my dance card, my lord. I cannot make any promises on the subject.”

  The viscount laughed at her antics, and Odelia grinned back at him.

  After he had left, Odelia turned to her friends. “I think I should return home and check on my aunt. It strikes a strange cord with me that Hartley would tell the viscount that Aunt Julianna is not receiving visitors. In my entire life, I cannot recall a single time she has refused anyone. It would be terrible if she has fallen ill.”

  With suitable expressions of sympathy Odelia’s friends escorted her home.

  “Welcome home, Lady Odelia, may I take your wrap for you?” greeted the butler upon her return.

  “Thank you, Hartley. Do you know where my aunt is?”

  “The last time I saw her she was headed to her room. She said she was suffering from a headache and needed a bit of a rest.” The well-trained butler was unable to hide the concern he felt since the lady of the house was never unwell.

  Odelia thought about his words for a moment before asking, “Do you know how long ago that was? I do not wish to disturb her, but I wonder if I should check to see if a doctor should be called.”

  “I believe it was about an hour ago. She did not seem so under the weather as to require a physician, but you should go see for yourself. If you have any doubts, you could consult with the housekeeper.”

  Odelia dashed up the stairs and down the hall, pausing only when she reached Julianna’s door. Hesitating for a moment, she finally scratched lightly before she heard her aunt’s familiar voice calling out.