Hollywood & Vine

by Olivia Evans

  His voice was even and controlled when he spoke, conveying none of his swelling emotions. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about you being a liar. Or are you stupid too?” Josie shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. “No, I’m the fool here.”

  “Well, why don’t we pretend for a minute that I am stupid so you can explain why I’m a lying asshole.”

  “Are you going to stand there and pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about? Pretend you didn’t look me in the eye this morning and lie?”

  Confusion flashed across Anders’ features, and for a split second hope stilled the breath in Josie’s lungs. The moment his lips parted and his eyes widened, however, any traces of doubt that the pictures had somehow been wrong vanished.

  “I didn’t lie to you this morning.” Anders wracked his brain trying to figure out how she would know anything about what happened last night. His eyes drifted to his open computer and the sight caused a rock to settle in his stomach.

  “Bullshit!” Josie screamed, her voice bouncing off the walls as her hands tightened into fists. She’d never wanted to hit anyone as much as she wanted to hit him in that moment.

  Anders stepped forward and wrapped his hands around the top of the chair in front of him. “So what? You know everything about last night?” He jerked his chin toward the computer. “You’re gonna look at those pictures and the shit they print and believe it like it’s the fucking gospel? Jesus fucking Christ, Josie, I thought you knew better than that by now.”

  Josie bristled. “I’m not a fucking idiot. I’m also not blind.” She stepped to the laptop and in one angry move, spun it around until the screen faced Anders. “This looks a hell of a lot more like Aubrey Nash standing in her robe than Owen. But that’s not possible, right? Because you weren’t with Aubrey, you were with Owen.”

  Anders’ knees buckled from the weight of shock and dread that fell over him. He reached forward and dragged the laptop across the table, scanning the pictures of him leaving Aubrey’s house. He’d been certain the pictures were of the night before, when they’d danced or left the club. He could explain those. He had every intention of telling her about the rest of the night, but he wanted the time and privacy to do so. But this? There was no way she’d ever believe him. Not now. Still, he had to try.

  “I know this looks bad, but I can explain. I didn’t lie to you this morning. I just didn’t tell you everything because I knew you’d be pissed.”

  Josie’s mouth fell open with disbelief. She thought for sure he’d throw in the towel and admit what he’d done. She never imagined he’d try to keep the charade going. “You…you’re still going to deny that you lied? Do you have any respect for me at all?”

  The obvious truth in her words caused her eyes to shimmer with tears and her lip to tremble. From the beginning, she’d expected to be the one turned to ash when they caught fire. What she hadn’t realized, what she couldn’t have prepared for, was just how much it would hurt when it happened.

  “Of course I respect you. Look, everyone wanted to hang out a little longer, and things seemed okay. Aubrey had kept her distance, and I was too drunk to drive, so I went along with it. We all went back to her place to chill, but she started her shit again, so I told her I was done. Fuck, the bitch slapped me and stormed out of the room. I was going to close my eyes for a minute then call a cab. The next thing I knew, it was morning, and I was still on her couch. She caught me at the door, spewing some shit about being sorry and drinking too much. Honestly, I wasn’t listening. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there.”

  Josie thought about the pictures of them dancing and the way Aubrey’s arms wound around his neck as he gripped her hips. They looked comfortable, familiar, intimate. Then she remembered the satisfied smile on Aubrey’s face watching Anders leave her house. She didn’t look like a rejected woman, not even a little. Josie shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

  Anders flattened his palms on the table and dropped his head. He pulled in a deep breath before lifting gaze. His eyes were hard and guarded as his anger simmered just below the surface. “What don’t you believe, Ivy?”

  With her face wiped clean of emotion, she met his gaze without hesitation. When she spoke, her voice was flat and lifeless, just like her eyes. “Any of it.”

  “Goddamn it!” He picked up a chair and hurled it against the wall. The sound of splintering wood, cracking drywall, and panting breaths echoed around the room. “Why the fuck are you even here? If you’re never going to believe anything I say, what’s the point?”

  Josie flinched as her heart hammered. She took two steps back, her eyes wide with surprise. “There isn’t one. That’s why I’m leaving.” She turned toward the hallway but hadn’t even taken a step before Anders locked his arms around her waist from behind.

  “You don’t mean that,” he whispered, his voice rough.

  But she did mean it, and they both knew it. “Let me go. I need to get my things.”

  “No.”

  “I don’t want to be here,” she cried, wrenching free of his grasp. “I’m tired of feeling like shit about myself. I’m tired of ignoring my feelings for yours. I told you I’d never back burner myself, but I did. And I’m done.”

  “What about me? Do you think I’ve done nothing for you? For us? You’re not the only one who’s out of their comfort zone. None of this is easy for me, but you don’t care anything about that, do you?”

  “Here we go, right back to you and what you’ve given up, what you’ve sacrificed. I promise you”—she choked, her eyes stinging—“what I’ve lost, what I gave you, was more of a sacrifice than anything you’ve done. And you ruined it. You broke everything.”

  Anders swallowed around the lump in his throat and remained still as Josie stormed out of the room. Her angry words slammed into his chest like a sledgehammer, reinforcing the reasons he guarded himself in the first place. The wall he’d spent years erecting began to harden and mold over the cracks his relationship with Josie had caused. He let the weight of its protection slide over his shoulders and fortify around his heart once more. With his mouth set in a hard line, he walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the refrigerator.

  He flicked the cap onto the countertop and moved back to the dining room. Shoving his free hand into his pocket, he tipped back his beer and stared out the window. The sound of opening and slamming drawers in the bedroom as Josie packed the few things she’d left echoed through the house. He worked to keep his expression a mask of indifference when she let out a muffled curse.

  Unable to remain still, he turned away from the window and winced when his eyes landed on his laptop. The dozen pictures of him dancing with Aubrey last night then leaving her house this morning were sure to have brought a fat paycheck to someone.

  His lip curled in disgust as he thought about the paparazzi. They were always out to make a buck, not giving a shit whose life they screwed up in the process, not that Anders considered his life screwed up. Until all the drama had started with Josie, he’d been content, happy even. If Josie wanted to call it quits, then there was nothing he could do to stop her. He’d been fine without her before, and he’d be fine without her now. So be it.

  When Josie walked into the room with a bag thrown over her shoulder, his stomach tightened and his indifference slipped. Her eyes were red and swollen, but it did nothing to put out the fire burning in her gaze.

  For a moment, Josie hesitated. Her eyes raked over him before she made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat and turned to leave without saying a word. Anders’ jaw tightened at the dismissive gesture and he took off behind her, catching her arm and spinning her around to face him.

  “So that’s it? You’re done? You’ve got nothing else to say?”

  Josie jerked free and wrapped her fingers around the strap of her bag. “I think I’ve said everything I can.”

  “Why won’t you fucking believe me?” he shouted. He didn’t kno
w why he was bothering. She was done, and he was tired of defending himself. This was why he didn’t do relationships. Why he should never have broken his one and done rule. The moment the thought crossed his mind, something dark flashed in his eyes.

  “Because you have a shitty track record? Because there are pictures of you two hanging all over each other? Because she’s wanted to fuck you since she walked on set? Or how about the fact that you didn’t come home last night?” Her chest rose and fell with each heaving breath and her body shook with anger.

  Her refusal to believe him, to allow even a sliver of trust, made him snap. “I told you nothing happened. Do you want to know why nothing happened, Ivy? Because I have a rule. I never fuck the same woman twice. You are the only person I’ve even broken that rule for. Why the fuck would I ruin my relationship with you for a piece of pussy I’ve already had?”

  He might as well have slapped her. His words stung worse than any physical blow he could have delivered. The flash of pain that crossed his face showed that he knew it too.

  “What?” Josie could barely breathe. Every one of her muscles locked with tension.

  “Fuck. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I should have told you. It happened before I knew you, when we auditioned. But telling you would have made things worse, and you already didn’t trust me. I would never fuck around on you, Ivy. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not that guy.”

  Josie shook her head in disbelief. For months she had warred with herself, her heart and her head at odds. But for the first time since she and Anders had been together, they were both in agreement about something: he would destroy her. This life wasn’t meant for her.

  He wasn’t meant for her.

  There would always be an Aubrey in their lives. Even if people knew about Josie, it wouldn’t matter. Not when the prize was Anders Ellis. Even if he didn’t sleep with Aubrey, again, it would happen eventually. Guys like Anders couldn’t change. She was a fool for ever believing different.

  “Just when I thought you couldn’t be more of a liar or hurt me any more, you prove me wrong. I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve said yourself there are things you’ve lied to me about. I should have walked away then. I won’t make that mistake again.” She turned for the door and wrapped her hand around the knob.

  Anders’ heart hammered and the walls around it squeezed mercilessly. Concrete settled in his stomach, and he knew if she left this time, it was for good. “If you leave, that’s it. There’s no coming back.”

  Josie laughed, the sound harsh and hollow. Empty. She turned to face him, her hand still holding the handle. “That’s how breakups work. I leave and don’t come back. Oh wait,” she gasped in mock surprise, clinging to her anger and ignoring the feeling of her heart shattering. “We can’t break up. We don’t even exist. Have a nice life, asshole.”

  Anders smoothed his face like the A-list actor he was. As the front door slammed, he lifted his beer in the air and saluted her before draining the rest.

  “Well, that’s that,” he muttered. It wasn’t worth it. He turned back to the kitchen for another beer, not daring to acknowledge the stinging in his eyes or the searing pain carving a hole in his chest. It just wasn’t worth it.

  Anders stared across the set as a makeup artist worked to cover the large bruise on his face. The director stood next to him, clearly annoyed as he yelled at Anders for messing up the schedule.

  Anders kept quiet. He could’ve smoothed things over, but he didn’t feel like bothering. All he needed to do was tell the director it happened while sparring at the gym to stay in shape for the film. While the part about how he got the bruise would at least be true, it wasn’t the real reason why. No, the reason why Anders ended up with a right hook to his face had nothing to do with staying in shape and everything to do with the girl who had just walked out of his life.

  “Are we done?” Anders lifted his arm and pushed the makeup artist’s hand out of his face.

  “It’s―”

  “You’re done,” the director cut in.

  Without a word, Anders stood from the chair and walked to his place on set. The scowl slipped from his face and his shoulders relaxed as he transformed into his character. All traces of the moody jerk from moments before vanished. He tucked his thoughts away in the recesses of his mind, where they’d fester and grow until he released them to torture him once more.

  And torture him they would. It was all they’d done since Josie called him an asshole and slammed his front door. That evening after she drove away for good, one beer turned into two and eventually led him to a lounge chair by the pool with a bottle of gin. His body sagged from exhaustion, but no matter how much he drank, he couldn’t extinguish the gnawing feeling burning inside his chest that refused to let him slip into oblivion.

  Trapped somewhere between regret and acceptance, Anders lost all concept of time. The sky faded into darkness, but Anders remained unmoving. It wasn’t until the first traces of dawn shimmered across the horizon that he finally stumbled inside. Pain radiated through his stiff muscles and his stomach churned with nausea, but his mind remained a deadened wasteland of nothingness.

  He tripped around his bedroom in a daze before falling face first on his mattress. Flashes of memories, both new and old, played out like a movie in his head. He thought of nothing and everything. Before he could grasp the fringes around a single thought, it slipped away, replaced with another until sleep finally pulled him under. When he woke hours later, it was to the shrill ring of his cell phone.

  Looming on the edge of consciousness, the only thought that registered was the possibility it might be Josie. When he looked at the screen and saw Nathan’s name, he tossed the phone on the floor and pulled a pillow over his face. He didn’t want to talk to anyone who wasn’t Josie.

  After several failed attempts to fall asleep again, he dragged himself into the shower. Dressing in jeans and a shirt, he moved into the kitchen. He was physically and emotionally drained. Bracing his arms on the counter, he let his head fall forward as he closed his eyes and pulled in slow, deep breaths. Even though there was no logical explanation, his chest ached with each inhale.

  Cursing, he shoved away from the counter. He needed to hit something, anything to distract his thoughts from Josie and how her absence had caused his mind to tailspin into the past. Grabbing his workout bag, he took off for the gym. He hated exercising, but the physical abuse he wanted to inflict and receive would be a welcome relief from the emotional war pummeling him from within.

  Just as he’d hoped, the physical pain diverted his thoughts as he punished his body. When he left the gym hours later, it was with an ice pack on his side, a throbbing ache in his jaw, and the taste of blood lingering in his mouth. However, as soon as he stepped through the foyer of his house, his moment of reprieve ended. As the day slipped into night, and Saturday bled into Sunday, Anders’ mood only darkened. Anger twisted and burned as bitterness consumed his every thought—bitterness for Josie, himself, the paparazzi, but most of all for Aubrey.

  The director clapped and the lights flashed on set causing Anders to blink in confusion. He looked at the director, who was smiling with both his thumbs in the air, all traces of his previous anger gone. Anders realized he was done for the day. No retakes. No tweaking. His performance had been flawless, his steps on cue, and his lines delivered with acute precision.

  He nodded at the director and moved toward his trailer. As soon as the door shut, he breathed a sigh of relief. His character-coated exterior melted away, leaving him raw and exposed. Which was why, when Aubrey’s fingers brushed up his forearm and wrapped around his bicep, his reaction was uncensored and full of hate.

  “I tried to call you several times this weekend.” Her wide smile and soft eyes did nothing to curb Anders’ rage.

  “Get the fuck away from me,” he hissed between clenched teeth.

  Aubrey’s eyes widened in surprise and her hands covered her mouth in an attempt to ward off the venom in his voice. “Wha
t’s wrong with you?”

  He shifted toward her, his towering frame intimidating, his expression full of rage. Aubrey stumbled back. Her hands shot out behind her, softening the impact as her body collided with the wall. Ignoring her question, he asked one of his own. With dark, angry eyes and a menacing sneer, his words sent a shot of fear down Aubrey’s spine. “How did I get papped leaving your house?”

  Aubrey’s mind spun as she tried to slow her racing heart. With pursed lips and slumped shoulders, she shook her head. To anyone watching, she appeared disheartened and hurt. “How would I know?”

  Anders sucked on his teeth and shook his head in mock disappointment. “Don’t pretend to be innocent. We both know you had something to do with it.”

  Aubrey bristled. “Right, Anders. I just let random people into my neighborhood to snap pictures of me in my robe with no makeup. That makes perfect sense.”

  “This isn’t the first time someone has hidden on your property. Are you telling me both times were accidents?”

  Aubrey laughed and pushed on Anders’ chest until he took a couple steps back. “Accidents? Of course not. Paps were probably hiding outside the gates the moment we stepped foot into that restaurant for our date and again when we went to the club. Those pictures no doubt were worth a lot of money. I’m surprised there weren’t more. Besides, I don’t have the exclusivity you enjoy in your neighborhood. If I remember correctly, something similar happened to you before you moved, did it not?”

  Anders stiffened and his fists tightened. “You don’t know a fucking thing about what happened.”

  “No one ever does,” she interrupted, her tone sharp. “That doesn’t mean people won’t stab you in the back and twist your words for their own agenda. I’m not new here, Anders. I know how this town works. What I can’t figure out is why it matters so damn much to you. We should have called them ourselves. This is what we wanted. It’s why we did it in the first place. So man the hell up and enjoy the ride. Look at all the attention we’re getting. It’s perfect.”