When I Find You: A Trust No One Novel

by Brown, Dixie Lee

  Walker shook his head. “I don’t want to cause you any trouble. I just . . . I need to know if she’s okay.”

  “You’ll have to hang around here for a few days, until she and her mother get back from a little trip they took. In the meantime, you can tell me why, since you’re obviously in love with my daughter, you don’t want to stick around and see if she feels the same way.” Tom opened the door all the way and stood aside, waiting.

  Walker stepped over the threshold in a state of amazement. Darcy’s father saw him fresh from a fight, bloody, and disheveled, and not only did Tom invite him into the house, but he didn’t seem at all appalled that Walker might be in love with his daughter. With a grim set to his mouth, he followed Tom into the kitchen. No doubt Darcy’s father would change his mind when he learned what kind of man Walker really was.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  * * *

  DARCY WIPED AWAY the tears that moistened her cheeks, stopped with a folded shirt poised to drop into her suitcase, and glanced at her mother as the older woman leaned through the bedroom door. Turning away would do no good, but it was habit by now, so she focused again on her packing. An expectant silence told Darcy her mother hadn’t missed her tearstained face this time, or any of the countless other times she’d caught her daughter crying on this trip. After the first time, she’d never again asked why—just wore a worried frown that etched lines on her forehead and made Darcy squirm with guilt.

  “Are you ready, honey?” Mom’s smile wrapped around Darcy’s heart. “We have to go if we want breakfast before our flight.”

  Love for her mother blinded Darcy for a moment and she straightened, smiling. Kathryn Maddox, her blue eyes shining with vitality and her dark auburn hair curling across her shoulders, was beautiful inside and out. Nearly fifty-eight years old, she didn’t look a day over forty-five, and her gentle spirit belied the steel-like strength she possessed.

  “Almost, Mom. I just have a few more things to pack.”

  Her mother nodded and disappeared. Darcy frowned. Packing would be easier if she’d stop staring out the window at the palm trees and the sandy beach with the blue-green ocean beyond. The same ocean she’d grown up taking for granted and, more recently, shared with Walker.

  The memory sent a stabbing pain through her. She was being ridiculous and it had to stop. She couldn’t let her feelings for Walker color the rest of her life. It was all a lie anyway. In the end, he betrayed her too. He killed Johnny . . . ignoring her as she begged for her employer’s life. How could she possibly love a man like that?

  To be fair, he did warn her. He told her he was ruthless and dangerous and that she was better off without him. She didn’t believe him then, but it was true and, eventually, she would figure out how to stop feeling dead inside.

  She forced herself away from the window, threw the last few items in her suitcase, zipped it closed, and set her luggage on the floor beside her mother’s bags. These two weeks in Honolulu were supposed to give her a fresh start and begin to erase the pain that ripped through her every time she thought of Walker or Johnny. Her mother practically vibrated with excitement when she presented the travel brochures to Darcy the day after she arrived home. Darcy didn’t have the heart to say no, even though all she wanted was to be alone.

  Telling her parents anything about the nightmare she’d been through proved impossible, even when they caught her crying, which seemed to be a regular occurrence. She told them they were happy tears because she was so glad to be home. Her father seemed satisfied with that, but she could tell her mother knew better.

  A knock sounded on the door and a moment later Mom stuck her head in the bedroom. “The porter is here to take our luggage down, honey. Ready?”

  “Yes.” Darcy smiled and put her arm around the older woman’s shoulders, giving her a quick hug. “Let’s go eat. I’m starved.”

  As the porter left with their luggage, Darcy made one last pass through the suite for anything they might have overlooked. She’d just walked out the door when her cell phone rang.

  There’d been no occasion to use the phone in the last two weeks, and she had to dig through her purse, pulling out her airplane ticket, her paperback book, and her wallet before she finally found it. She drew in a sharp breath as she recognized the number that flashed on the caller ID. It was Nick and Eddy’s.

  After being responsible for their father’s death, she’d been too cowardly to call them. It broke her heart not to see them again, but it was for the best. Now they were calling her. What could she possibly say to them?

  She forced a smile as she looked at her mother who still stood by the door. “I need to take this call, Mom. Why don’t you go down to the restaurant and get us a table? I’ll be right behind you.” Darcy slid back into the room, took a deep breath, and pressed the answer button.

  “You’d better sit down, Darcy.” The voice on the other end wasn’t that of a child.

  “What? Who . . .? Johnny? No, that’s impossible.” She was suddenly furious. “Who the hell is this?”

  “I’m sorry to do this to you again,” Johnny said. “I tried to leave it alone, but I just couldn’t let you go on thinking I was dead. I knew you’d blame yourself . . . and Walker . . . and it’s not fair to you. I’ve put you through enough. You deserve the truth.”

  Darcy found a chair and dropped into it. “Johnny? How . . .?” The anger left her, chased away by an immense wave of relief, and tears sprang to her eyes. “Thank God. Nick and Eddy . . . Gwen . . . are they all right too?”

  “They’re fine. Gwen took the boys shopping. Some things never change.” He laughed. “We’re all set up in our new home. I can’t tell you where we are—that would really put the Justice Department over the edge—but it’s a good place to start over. The boys will go to private school. They’ve already started to make friends. They’re adjusting well, and you’re responsible for that. You did a great job with them, Darcy.”

  “They’re good kids.”

  “Listen, my attorney will be contacting you. I put the Chicago house in your name. You can sell it or do whatever you want with it.”

  “What? You can’t . . .”

  “Don’t argue. It’s the least I can do after everything I put you through. It doesn’t begin to make up for putting your life in danger. Besides, we’ll never need it again.”

  Darcy blinked hard to keep the tears back and cleared her throat. “How did you get away . . . from Walker?”

  “It was a con. He never intended to kill me.” Johnny’s voice softened and he sighed. “We knew the only thing that would keep DeLuca off our backs was my death. Walker just did a better job of staging it than Reggie did.”

  “Why didn’t someone tell me? Didn’t you think I’d care?”

  “It had to look like the real thing. If Montgomery got wind of a scam, we’d have been screwed. He had to believe Walker killed me, and we only had a small window of time so the marshals would get there before he had a chance to find out it was a setup.”

  “Montgomery?”

  “He was impersonating Deputy Cooper. One of DeLuca’s hired guns.”

  Disjointed thoughts spun in her head. Johnny was alive. Walker didn’t kill him. Maybe he couldn’t tell her for fear of giving their plan away that day in the safe room, but he could have found her afterward. Instead, he left without saying a word to her . . . not because he did something unforgiveable, but because he didn’t want her. It wasn’t like she didn’t know that from the beginning, but it hurt nonetheless. She forced her thoughts back to the man on the other end of the line.

  “I’m so relieved, Johnny. I’m glad Walker didn’t . . . God—someone should have told me. Do you know what I’ve gone through the last two weeks?” Her voice broke.

  “I tried to tell him. He thought you’d be safer if no one found out I was alive until the trial. I couldn’t convince him it was a bad plan. He cares about you that much.”

  “I don’t believe that. If he cared at all, he wouldn’t
have . . . It doesn’t matter anymore.” She drew a shaky breath. “I’m glad you’re okay, Johnny. I feel like a giant weight has lifted off my chest.” She lost her battle and tears rolled down her cheeks. “Give the boys and Gwen hugs for me.” For an instant, Darcy wanted desperately to go with them. Her life here seemed empty now.

  “Walker loves you, and so do we. Listen, I have to go. The marshal they left as my guard dog will come unglued if he catches me talking to you. Take care of yourself, Darcy.”

  “Good-bye, Johnny.” He was gone before the words were out of her mouth. She sat still for a moment as relief eased her tension and lifted her mantle of guilt. Her whole body trembled as the realization of what she’d just heard settled in her mind. She wasn’t responsible for getting Johnny killed and destroying his family. As long as she knew they were all right, she could deal with her new life. She needed just a little more time to forget Walker and everything would be back to normal. She forced herself to stand and walk to the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face, and left the room to join her mother downstairs.

  She’d almost forgotten what lighthearted felt like. The dull ache was still there, but she’d get over that. Nick and Eddy would grow up with a father. Walker didn’t destroy their family—didn’t ignore her shameless pleading. He only used the incident to force her out of his life. From the beginning she knew she wasn’t the type of woman he was attracted to, and she promised not to expect anything beyond what they shared. He must have been afraid she’d break her promise. He found the perfect out. Now she didn’t have to worry about Walker any longer. He was out of her life because that was where he wanted to be, not because she told him she hated him. Her remorse disappeared.

  She was almost happy when she walked into the restaurant on the ground floor. Her mother’s concerned expression made it obvious Darcy’s eyes were still red-rimmed. Darcy gave her a huge hug before taking her seat.

  “I’ve had such a great time on this trip, Mom. Let’s do it again next year.”

  “I’d like that. I’ll get some travel brochures.” They both giggled like schoolgirls.

  “I can’t wait to see how much of your to-do list Dad got done while we were gone.” Darcy laughed. The neatly folded piece of paper her mother handed her father as they were leaving contained enough chores to keep him busy for several months. He looked incredulously at his wife as he ticked off the top three items—paint the house, replace the hedge in the front yard, and build a water feature in the back. He continued to mutter about the projects he was expected to do and the fact they were only going to be gone two weeks until their cab pulled out of the driveway.

  Kathryn smiled wistfully. “Deep down, your father is a good man. Oh sure, he gets short-tempered and gruff sometimes, and I wish he would be a little bit romantic now and then, but I know he loves me.” She held Darcy’s gaze. “He loves you, too, honey.” The waitress brought their food and left before she spoke again. “Now, tell me about your man.”

  “There’s no man, Mom.” Darcy waved away the comment as though it were ridiculous.

  “Really? Then who broke your heart and sent you running home to us?” Her mother’s eyes held no suspicion—only love.

  The lie died on Darcy’s lips and, tentatively at first, she told her mother the whole story.

  DARCY AND HER mother stared at the house as their cab stopped in front of the garage. “He painted.” Darcy liked the fresh green color where tan had always been before.

  “What the hell . . .?” Mom groped for the door handle.

  Darcy shot her mother a surprised look. In twenty-four years she’d never heard her swear. Her mother met her gaze and shrugged

  Stepping out of the car, Mom stopped short. “The hedge . . .”

  Darcy followed her gaze. The six-foot overgrown hedge that separated their front yard from the neighbors for as long as she could remember was gone, replaced with a neat line of rhododendrons.

  “Wow! Are we on the wrong block?” Darcy shook her head.

  “Let’s go find out.” Mom paid the cab driver, and they rolled their luggage to the front door.

  As soon as they entered the house, they heard her father banging pots and pans in the kitchen. They found him bending over, his head stuck in a cupboard with pots of various sizes littering the counter above him. Her mother nudged her arm, pointing to the dining room table, set for two with the good china, a tablecloth and napkins, and two long tapered candles waiting to be lit. Darcy glanced at her mother just as she rolled her eyes.

  “What’s going on, Tom?” Mom’s voice held a tinge of suspicion.

  Dad bumped his head getting out of the cupboard and sent pans clattering to the floor. He swore under his breath as he straightened, one hand massaging the back of his head. A broad smile appeared on his face as he turned toward them.

  “Welcome home. Sorry about the mess. Don’t worry—I’ll clean it up. You’re earlier than I expected. I wanted to have dinner ready for you when you got here.”

  Darcy smiled as her father shrugged self-consciously. Obviously, this was a new role for him, but she had to give him credit. He was trying hard. She glanced sideways at her mother. Mom didn’t look amused. In fact, she looked downright skeptical.

  “Really? Did you forget there were three of us?”

  “Oh, I’m not hungry.” Darcy jumped to her father’s aid. “I might go into town and see some friends.” It was a lie, since she had no friends here she wanted to see, but the look her father gave her conveyed his appreciation. “Dad, the paint job looks great and the rhododendrons are beautiful. You must have worked the whole time we were gone. Doesn’t it look great, Mom?”

  Her mom still studied her husband with a critical eye. “It does look nice.”

  “Well, I had some help. A young fella I met. A real hard worker. I learned a few things from him over the last few days. Kathryn, wait until you see the pond and the waterfall in the backyard.”

  Her mother’s eyes widened, causing Darcy to laugh as she turned toward the door to bring in their luggage. An instant later, her amusement disappeared as a man stepped into the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of a freshly pressed shirt, his black hair still wet and pulled back with a leather tie.

  “Here he is now. Walker, this is my wife, Kathryn.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Walker.” Mom shook his hand warily as she darted a concerned glance at Darcy.

  “It’s my pleasure, Mrs. Maddox. I see what you mean, Tom. She’s beautiful.”

  Mom opened her mouth and then closed it, blushing. To Darcy’s amazement, her mother’s eyes glistened with moisture when she turned her smile on Dad. “I think I’m ready to see that pond now.”

  “That’s good. I think these two kids want to be alone.” Dad took her hand and drew her with him out the back door, leaving an awkward silence in their wake.

  Alone with the man who had occupied the majority of her thoughts for too long now, anxiety and anticipation wreaked havoc with what was left of Darcy’s decision-making capabilities as her gaze swung back to him. She’d admonished herself only an hour ago, and every hour before that, to put him out of her mind and get on with her life. How was she supposed to forget him when he turned up in her parents’ kitchen unannounced?

  His familiar eyes darkened as he watched her, his expression unusually open and transparent. The gaze that locked on hers seemed to ask for her understanding, but it was the pain in the depths of his eyes that caused her breath to catch. For one second, she dropped her guard and almost crossed the intervening space between them, intent on doing whatever was necessary to smooth away the worry on his brow.

  In the next breath, the memory of being lied to and deserted sent a stabbing pain through her heart. She tore her eyes from his and took a second to compose her features, hoping he hadn’t noticed the confusion and indecision in her expression. Hardening her heart, she started toward the door.

  Walker stepped sideways to block her path. “Please don’t run from me, Darcy. N
ot until you hear me out. After that, if you want me to, I’ll walk out that door and you’ll never have to see me again.”

  Darcy crossed her arms in front of her, needing that extra layer of defense against the ache that engulfed her at the sound of his voice. “I think you said everything there was to say. How did it go? Hating you would be the best thing that could happen to me. Well, I’m happy you got what you wanted.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she glared at him as though that would make up for her weakness.

  He took a half step toward her before he stopped, clenching his fists, and the agony that shone from his eyes mirrored hers. “Wrong on both counts. That’s not how I wanted us to end up—not by a long shot—and there’s a hell of a lot more that needs to be said, starting with . . . Johnny’s alive.”

  Darcy lifted her chin and stood her ground. “I know.”

  “You know? How the hell . . .? That stupid bastard called you. He won’t be happy until he gets you killed.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Walker?” The question exploded from her with all the anger and pain she’d lived with the last two weeks. “You should have been the one to tell me. Not Johnny. I deserved to know.” She unfolded her arms and walked toward him. “We had an agreement. I said I wouldn’t expect anything more from you, and I fully intended to keep my word. You didn’t have to send me away thinking I was responsible for Johnny’s death just to get me out of your life.” Tears rimmed over and rolled down her cheeks, and she attempted to brush past him and escape.

  He caught her around the waist and pulled her in. She braced her arms against his chest and tried to wiggle free, pounding on him with the side of her fists when he wouldn’t release her.

  “Let—me—go or I swear I’ll hurt you.” Perfect! A petulant stomp of her foot wouldn’t sound any more foolish.

  To his credit, he managed to swallow the grin that started to form before he folded her in his arms and held on.