Reverb

by S. M. West

“I love you.” Her eyes glitter with affection.

  Not only does she steal my breath, she stops my heart and blisters my soul. Desperate and demanding, savage with desire, I plunder her mouth once more.

  My kiss is bruising, and she climbs my body, hooking her legs around my waist, body flush against mine.

  It’s the first time we’ve uttered those words, although they live on the tip of my tongue.

  “I will come back to you.” It’s a promise, not reassurance, and my fingers thread through her thick, soft hair.

  We kiss again. Our bodies touch, lips and chests stuck together like one, and my eyes drift closed. Every time we’re like this, I relish every single detail of Eva. Her sweet scent, silky soft curves, and small, sexy moans.

  I don’t want to think about this ending. Ever. Yet life is hard, and I’ve gotten nothing I’ve ever wanted. Whenever Eva and I are together, I cherish and memorize it all as if it’s the last time.

  I can’t imagine what I’d do if I lost her. If there’s one thing I know for sure, I will do everything in my power to keep her.

  We belong together and for the first time in my life, I imagine what my future could be with Eva. I want more than now, than high school. I want forever.

  10

  Guilt raps at my chest

  Junior/Senior year

  JARED

  “Okay now, ease up on the clutch. That’s it.”

  The car sputters and jerks, crawling forward before rocketing ahead.

  “Whoa.” My fingers wrap around the wrist of her hand on the gearshift. “Ease up a bit.”

  “Oh my God, I did it! I did it!” She’s bouncing in her seat, beaming proudly at me.

  The car lurches, groans, and dies. We both shift forward in a jerking motion of the vehicle as it comes to a complete stop.

  “You took your foot off, didn’t you?” I chuckle, shaking my head, and she groans.

  She’s been learning to drive, giving it her all, like she does everything else. Determined to get her license, we come out here any time we can spare, and I give her a few pointers.

  Eva rests her head against the steering wheel, and her long hair falls forward, curtaining her face.

  “I’m an idiot. I’m never going to remember everything.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re doing good, and you’ll get the hang of it. It’s no big deal. It’s happened to me.”

  She lifts her head and narrows her gaze on me, disbelieving. I smile, biting my bottom lip to hold back admitting I haven’t done something like that in years. But it’s no cause to beat herself up.

  “You’ve got this. Let’s do it again.” I squeeze her hand, and she straightens in the driver’s seat.

  “Okay, okay.” Shaking her hands out, she stares down at the gear shift like she will whip it into submission.

  Feet in position on the clutch and accelerator, she raises her head and looks straight ahead. “I can do this.”

  The next hour is spent breaking down various driving techniques like the three-point turn and parallel parking. She’s hard on herself and thinks she’s bad at driving, but she isn’t.

  Not only is she learning to drive, it’s also with a stick shift and she’s killing it. Eva has her driving test in two weeks and she’s nervous.

  She’s determined to ace the test and so we spend hours in our high school parking lot. While I’ve no doubt she’s going to pass, I indulge her, unable to deny her anything.

  These sessions are a secret, much like most of our relationship. Her father doesn’t want her driving or to have anything to do with me. Neither even has a possibility in that man’s mind.

  Since she doesn’t have her own wheels, all of this is squeezed into stolen moments when there isn’t a chance of getting caught. If her father knew of her upcoming test, there’s no doubt he’d cancel it or lock her up, or do something to sabotage her chances.

  And even with Mr. Ramirez and the little he thinks of me, this year has been the best of my life. Who knew things could be this good? Especially for a dumbass kid no one wanted.

  I missed Eva over the summer but filled my hours working at the pizza joint and with the band. I saved as much of what I made as I could. Work was a blessing, or else I’d have gone crazy without her. Her absence made me see just how much she’d become my world.

  And some small part of me fought it—this bond we had, unlike anything I’d ever had before—not sure if I could handle this kind of commitment or feeling, But I didn’t stand a chance. I couldn’t have stopped it, stopped loving her, even if I tried.

  When she returned from Spain, we picked up right where we left off as if the separation never happened. This time I had my shit together and didn’t go all punk-ass and try to write her off. No way.

  Her father is still our biggest obstacle and that’s saying a lot given my situation. He hates me but also sees I have more influence over his daughter than he does. I try not to be cocky about it, although I’m not going to lie, it feels fantastic that Eva values my opinion. Trusts me above anyone else.

  And I feel the same way.

  Life with the Garcias isn’t any better or any worse. I’m counting the days until I turn eighteen in February.

  Eva and I have talked about it. Since there’s only a few months left until I’m free of the system and graduation, I could ask Val if I could stay on, but screw that. I want out.

  I’ll leave the Garcias’, find somewhere to live so I can finish school. Then I’ll work until she graduates. She’s got a good chance at a scholarship to the school of her choosing. Wherever she goes, I go.

  This is my senior year of high school and I will make it the best yet with my girl.

  “Come in for dinner.” Eva seductively coasts her gorgeous body along my chest before pulling away.

  We’re in my car and she’s on my lap. It’s the sweetest torture there is. We’ve grown closer and more intimate. We finally slept together over the holidays. We’d come close—too many times to count—before that, and surprisingly, I’d been the one to stop us every time.

  I wanted her first time, our first time together, to be special. And now that we’ve gone all the way, I can’t keep my hands off her, more so than ever.

  “I can’t. I’m going to meet Ike.” I’ve just finished my shift at the Romano’s, where Eva did her homework in a booth, and now Ike wants to see me.

  Groaning, she bites her lush bottom lip and lifts a leg to slide onto the passenger seat. I feel her loss instantly, rubbing at the phantom ache in the middle of my chest.

  “This is just so frustrating.” Long black hair shimmers like a river in the twilight as she rifles through her bag for her house keys.

  “Hey.” My hand caresses the sliver of silky skin just above her knee. “We’ll have our own place soon and hopefully, one day, your dad will see we’re good for each other.”

  We’ve had this conversation many times before. Eva is unflappable and steadfast in her resolve to change her father’s mind. She’s convinced he’ll see me one day and toss out all his biases because of my background.

  So far, no matter what I do or say, to him, I’m worthless.

  “I know.” Her tone is strangely griping. “It just isn’t fair. I’ve told Papi as soon as I’m done with high school, wherever I go for college, you’re coming.”

  “I’m sure that went over really well.” A pang of guilt raps at my chest. I should try harder to keep the sarcasm out of my tone. It isn’t her fault he thinks so little of me, or that he may be right.

  Eva could have anything and anyone she wants. She’s smart, funny, caring, loving, ambitious, and beautiful.

  And she chose me.

  He hates that. He hates me.

  I don’t care what he thinks about me. All I care is that it hurts her.

  “Stop that.” She purses her lips. Ah, there’s the girl I know and love, Miss Optimistic.

  “We’re building a life together and my father has no say in that. You’ll pursue your music c
areer and become some famous musician, and I’ll…” She fusses with the tassel on the zipper of her bag. “I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll figure it out.”

  Chuckling, I pull her hand to my lips, brushing a lingering kiss on the soft skin of her knuckles. I love her confidence in our future, and most of all, I love that she sees me at her side.

  “You’ll be amazing at whatever you do. It’ll come to you.”

  “Yes. I have to start dinner.” She leans over to kiss me on the cheek.

  I flatten one hand on her back, gliding it down to rest in the hollow of her waist, as I curl the other around her shoulder.

  I bury my nose in her hair, bringing our chests flush, and I’m engulfed, lost, by the sweet smell of her shampoo and the rapid beating of her heart against mine.

  Warm lips graze my neck and slender fingers dig into my sides, clinging to me. Her breathing is unsteady and fast, almost as if excited. She feels it too. This enthralling draw between us.

  “Park, later?”

  “Yes.” One more kiss and she’s gone.

  I wait until she’s inside before leaving to meet Ike. My Jeep slides in behind his ride—this time it’s a Lexus—and before it’s even in park, he’s marching over to me, Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” blaring from his car.

  “Yo, took you long enough.” He leans in through the open window and his features are taut, impatient.

  “Look, I told you, I had work, and then I had to drop Eva home. What’s so important that I had to come out here?”

  A slow, sly smile creeps over his mouth. “Milo’s got a big job tonight. Like, I’m talking big. I’d be set for months and he needs all hands.”

  Looking to either side as if someone may be listening—there’s no one around—he lowers his voice. “If you want in—actually, he wants you in—all you gotta do is say the word.”

  Ike beams like he’s Santa Claus and he’s given me the toy of the year. I close my eyes. Frustration courses through my veins because we’ve been through this.

  “I’m not working for Milo.” Temptation bites at my words, not going to lie.

  It sounds like a sweet payoff, definitely more than I make in my current job.

  “Come on, J, don’t be stupid.”

  Shaking my head, my gaze drifts into my lap. I busted my ass this summer, putting away every penny. A little of it will go toward a surprise for Eva—I want to take her away for the weekend—but the rest is for our future.

  Eva will probably get a scholarship, and wherever she goes for college, I want to pay my airfare—that’s if she leaves California. And I want to contribute to our living arrangements. This job with Milo would be a huge jump in savings, maybe even double what I already have, and that’s tempting.

  “No. I promised Eva I was done with Milo and that’s it.”

  “Bull.” He shoves at my shoulder. “Fuck, man, I knew you were pussy-whipped, but did she take your balls too?”

  “Ike, fuck off,” I growl, baring my teeth. It isn’t all Eva. I don’t want this life either.

  “Come on, J. This is easy money. Two, three hours tops. Just think about it. You’d be set in one night for what you’ll make your whole fucking summer.”

  “I said no.”

  “What’s your problem?” He runs a hand over his scalp. “I understand the attraction. Eva sure is sweet in every way.” He licks his lips and I want to pull his tongue out. “I’d be tapping that but—”

  In a flash, my arm shoots through the open window, fingers grabbing at his collar. “Do not fucking speak about her like that.”

  “Easy. All right.” He holds up his hands in surrender and offers a weak, apologetic smile.

  I release my grip, heaving him backward in disgust. Pent-up irritation burns my blood like acid in my veins, and my hands wrap around the wheel. If I could, I might rip the steering wheel from the car.

  “J, what’s going on? We have a plan, and you’re fucking it up.”

  My gut roils. I haven’t been honest with him. I haven’t had the balls to tell him my plans have changed. Yeah, we had a plan to live together once I was out of the system. Since Eva, everything has changed. We no longer want the same things. I just haven’t told him like it is.

  “I’ll always be your friend, and I’ll always have your back.” My anxious stare snags on the frown knitting his brow. “But Eva and I have plans. I’m not going down the same path you are.”

  His eyebrows rise to his hairline. He shouldn’t be all that surprised. My feelings for Eva aren’t a secret, and he’s smart. He must have figured out my intentions by now.

  “Oh, so now you think you’re fuckin’ better than me? Is that what you’re trying to say? Fuck you, man.” He bounces on his toes, arms and hands gesturing in the air. He won’t look me in the eye. Crap, why does this have to be difficult?

  “No, that isn’t it at all.”

  Waving a hand at me dismissively, he stabs me with a hard glare before trotting to his car. His legs are devouring the space between the two cars.

  “Ike.” I jump from the Jeep, jogging after him.

  He slams the car door with such force I feel the vibrations in my legs like Jell-O, and he peels off, leaving me to suck down the noxious exhaust fumes. My hands grab at my head and I curse, stomping back to the Jeep.

  I could go after him and try to talk some sense into him. He’s headed to Milo’s garage. It wouldn’t be hard to find him. But if I set one foot in that place, I’m as good as on the job tonight.

  Milo doesn’t accept no to anything he tells you to do. He’d force me or if I took off, which is a possibility, I’d be looking over my shoulder for months wondering if I’d live to graduate high school.

  I’ll call him later, much later, and fix things between us. More and more we’ve been arguing about stupid things like this.

  We’re headed in different directions, and there’s no way he hasn’t seen it too. We want different things.

  He’s my best friend, and we’ve been through a lot together. I couldn’t have made it without him, and I’ll never turn my back on him. But I can’t follow him down this road.

  Too early for the park, I head to Romano’s. My boss mentioned earlier tonight he could use an extra driver, and I could use the cash.

  It’s a little after eleven when I park the car next door to Eva’s house and get out. My phone rings, and the number on the screen is familiar and surprising. It’s Milo.

  Shit. Is he calling to punish or threaten me for something I refused to do? Frowning, I hesitate, unease stirring in my gut. “Hey, Milo.”

  “Jared?”

  “Yeah. What’s up?” My heart races.

  “No simple way to tell you this, kid. Ike’s dead.” He delivers the news like a sledgehammer to my knees. “Can’t talk on the phone, but you want answers, come see me.”

  A strange ringing reverberates in my ear, and I grip the car to stay upright. “What?”

  The line goes dead. What did he just say? Ike’s…dead? No way.

  I don’t know what to do with what he just said. I couldn’t have heard right. Should I call him back, demand to know more? He won’t answer.

  Ike’s dead.

  Everything hurts. A hand punches through my chest and squeezes.

  My heart.

  My lungs.

  I can’t get air into my lungs.

  Ike…I talked to him only hours ago. No, we didn’t talk. We fought.

  Eva.

  Stumbling from the car, I race for her house, fist banging on the door until Mr. Ramirez stands in front of me. A scowl etches the deep sun-weathered lines across his face.

  “What do you want?” His face twists like he smells something rotten.

  “Eva.”

  “Go home, boy.” He pushes me from the step, inching the door closed when Eva slips past him like a ninja, coming to stand between us.

  “Papi, stop. What happened?” Her brow puckers and fingers press into my cheek.

  Her touch undoes
me. A river of confusion, loss, and overwhelming sadness rushes through me and I crumple around her.

  My arms swallow her whole, needing her inside me, needing her to fix this horrendous pain. To patch me back together. I never want to let her go.

  “What happened? Are you hurt?”

  “Let her go.” Her father sounds like he’s talking from inside a tunnel. “Eva, he isn’t coming into this house.”

  “Then I’m leaving.” She twists in my arms to square off with him. “It’s your choice, Papi.”

  He says something I can’t make out and then she is carefully leading me into the house, murmuring soft words of concern. Her father is right behind us.

  She pulls me onto the sofa, cupping my face in her hands. “Please tell me what’s wrong?”

  “Ike…Ike.” I shake my head, burying it into the crook of her neck.

  Eva. The smell of her, sunshine and a tropical paradise, is immediate shelter to the chaos within.

  “Shhh. It’s okay.” A small hand rubs slow comforting circles on my back. “Tell me what happened to Ike.”

  Her soothing tone reaches me where I’m hiding, in the deepest, darkest depths of my soul.

  “Ike’s dead.”

  “What? Oh no.”

  “Eva, please never leave me.” Desperation singes my words. “I can’t lose you.”

  11

  A force of nature

  Junior/Senior year

  EVA

  Since Ike’s death, we’re more inseparable than ever. Sadly, the tragic loss of Jared’s best friend did nothing to soften my father’s heart toward the boy I love. And Papi and I clash more and more. I wish things weren’t like this but I refuse to stop seeing Jared. That’s unimaginable.

  Jared’s soft groan brings me back to the present as he presses his hard erection against my stomach. His hot mouth and the tickle of stubble on his jaw send tingles along my flesh. My core burns, needy for him.

  A hand slides over my backside and his fingers dig into my flesh. Each and every time he touches me, needs me, it’s both thrilling and nerve-racking no matter how many times we’ve been together.