Espresso in the Morning

by Dorie Graham

  “I’ve had some experience with PTSD,” he said. “Not firsthand, but I’ve had buddies with it. My best friend was hit pretty hard.” He glanced away. It was probably better not to dwell on what had happened to Toby. “So I know a little about it, if you ever want to talk.”

  Thankfully, she didn’t ask about Toby and merely nodded. “I haven’t actually been diagnosed, but from all the reading I’ve done I’d say I’m a pretty classic case. I’m sorry to even bring it up. I just couldn’t stop worrying— Grey can’t know.”

  “I understand.”

  She shook her head. “He wants normal, poor kid, practically begs for it. And he’s stuck with me for a mom.” She straightened. “Have you found it? Have you found a sense of normalcy running your coffee shop?”

  He studied her for a minute. “That’s a tough question. What is normal? I mean, yes, I think I have, but my idea of normal might not be the same as yours. What’s normal to you?”

  Her gaze locked on his. “Do you mean what’s normal for me, as in our day-to-day experience, or what is my definition of what normal should be?”

  “Well, both.”

  She stared off into the distance for a while, until the waiter brought their entrées. Claire thanked him, then waited for him to leave before speaking.

  “I think normal for most people is a regular eight-hour workday, and then returning home to their families afterward, laughing, playing, enjoying a quiet meal together, maybe a little TV before bedtime and then finally a restful night of sleep.”

  “Okay,” he said. “Sounds normal enough to me. So what’s normal for you? I know you and Grey stay pretty busy.”

  “I cram as much as I possibly can into every day, just to keep from thinking.” Again her gaze drew him in, anchoring him to that spot, that moment. “To keep from thinking about how scared I always am.”

  Sadness echoed in her laugh as she looked away. “I know that sounds pitiful,” she said, “and it is and I have no idea why I’m telling you this, but there it is. You know I have PTSD—which is something I haven’t told anyone else—and now you might as well know that. You were just so competent back there and I was so frightened when that big drunk truck driver came after me. I was frozen and you showed up and made him go away and I felt safe.” She looked at him again. “For once, I felt safe. And it’s been such a long time since I felt that way.”

  Lucas swallowed past a suspicious lump in his throat. He grabbed her hand from her lap and held it. “Well, it’s a good thing that big drunk truck driver didn’t pound me into the ground then.”

  “Yes.” She nodded, a small smile playing along her lips. “That’s a very good thing.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  A WISP OF cloud drifted past the half-moon as Claire walked with Lucas to her car. So much had happened between the pileup on 400 and then at dinner. It seemed a lifetime ago that they’d left the building supply store.

  “I’m sorry tonight took such a bad turn, but thanks for joining me for dinner,” Lucas said. “That part was pretty enjoyable, at least for me.”

  She smiled at his teasing tone. “Dinner was enjoyable for me, too. And not just because of the mousse, which was awesome. As far as the accident, no apology needed. That wasn’t your fault and you were quite the hero. The driver who got T-boned was lucky you were there. We all were.”

  He ducked his head. “I’ve been trained for situations like that,” he said. “It may sound cold, but it’s easy when the victims are strangers. It might have been a little different if you’d been hurt.”

  “It must have been so difficult for you, though...in the marines. When you were a medevac pilot, did you come across victims you knew?”

  His chest expanded as he inhaled. “In both Afghanistan and Iraq, yes, I did and it was hard.”

  Claire waited for him to expound, but he walked quietly, as though lost in thought. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to stir up any bad memories.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t talk a lot about what happened over there. Most people find it hard to hear.”

  She glanced at his profile, his head still bowed. His experiences had to be so much harder than what she’d gone through. He functioned as though unaffected, but he had to be. She resisted the urge to touch his arm.

  She said quietly, “I’ll listen anytime you want.”

  He lifted his head then and his gaze held hers. “Thanks, I really appreciate that. I’ll do the same for you, anytime.”

  She appreciated the offer and the genuine spirit with which it was made. “Thanks. I don’t really talk about it, though. Any trauma I’ve suffered can’t compare to what you’ve been through.”

  The warmth of his hand covered hers. “Don’t do that,” he said. “Don’t dismiss your experience. Whatever it was, it’s affected you and is no less important than anything that’s ever happened to me or anyone else. We all respond in our own way.”

  He let go of her hand. “I didn’t have it so bad,” he said. He stood so close that the heat of his body blanketed her.

  She breathed in his scent and smiled. “You smell like coffee,” she said. “I hadn’t noticed before.”

  His lips curved as he returned her smile. “A bag broke earlier today and I cleaned it up. I don’t always smell this way. At least I don’t think I do. Between the grime from the accident scene and the painting at my mother’s earlier, I’m surprised the coffee’s what you notice.”

  “Well, it’s nice. You know I love coffee. I couldn’t manage without my espresso in the morning.”

  “Yes, I know.” His gaze hovered over her face.

  Adrenaline pumped through her, but whether it was from fear or excitement or both, she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, she was way out of her comfort zone. “I honestly can’t thank you enough,” she said, “for everything...it was nice having your company tonight, through all of it. I really did enjoy dinner. Thank you for taking the time out for me to...tell you things I’m sure you had no desire to hear. I probably should have kept it all to myself and just put it out of my mind.”

  The crease between his eyebrows deepened. “I wouldn’t have said anything, not around your son.”

  She nodded. “I overthink things sometimes and then I work myself into a frenzy.” She closed her eyes for a moment, then exhaled. “I’m glad I told you. It’s a bit of a relief to share it with someone.”

  He touched her cheek. “You’ve been dealing with this for a while?”

  “A little over a year.”

  His jaw tightened. He didn’t respond, but his gaze held hers.

  She couldn’t take the short silence. “I’m glad we did dinner and not drinks. I would have scraped together leftovers or something, but this was much better.”

  “It was definitely my pleasure,” he said.

  “I feel safe with you.” She stood on her tiptoes and slipped her arms around his neck in a hug she hadn’t realized she’d intended to give. “I’m not so sure how I feel about that, though.”

  He lifted his arms to show she was free to walk away from him. “Claire, I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but you are safe with me. I promise.”

  His conviction shone in his eyes. Any remaining unease melted from her as his arms gently encircled her and held her against his firm body. Her breasts tingled from the contact. She pulled back, her cheeks heated by her own action. She’d been on her own for too long. She felt like she’d just jumped into the deep end of the pool and forgotten how to swim.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to be so forward.”

  His hold didn’t tighten, but his gaze warmed. “You don’t need to apologize,” he said. “I’m not complaining.”

  “No?” she asked as her eyes dipped to his beautiful mouth.

  “No.” His lips were so close she could almost taste them.

  With a small sigh Claire tipped up her face and pressed her mouth to his, his lips soft and so responsive. She welcomed his tongue, stroking it with her own, m
elting into him. Pleasure rolled over her as he pulled her closer, lifting her from the ground as he deepened the kiss.

  Time slowed around them as Claire lost herself in the taste, smell and feel of Lucas. At long last he withdrew, setting her down gently, his arms loosening, so all she had to do was step back to break contact. She did so as the cool night air swept over her.

  “I...I didn’t realize I was going to do that.”

  He rubbed a strand of her hair between his fingers. “Again, no complaints here. I just don’t want to rush you into anything.”

  “No, of course not.” A small laugh escaped her. Her stomach tightened at the slightly hysterical sound. What was she doing? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. I mean, my life is crazy right now.” She spread her hands. “What with all the home repair projects on top of everything else.”

  He reached for her hand. “Let me know if you need help with anything. You have my number in case you run into any trouble.”

  “Thanks. I might need you to talk me through how to do the caulking tomorrow.”

  “Not a problem. Just use the softener first. It’ll make a world of difference.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “It sounds so much more complicated than I thought it would be.”

  “You’ll do fine.”

  “If you say so,” she said, frowning.

  “Do you want me to come do it for you?” he asked.

  “Oh, no, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

  “I really wouldn’t mind.”

  “Truly?”

  “No.” He laughed. “We can’t have you with a leaky tub.”

  Claire cocked her head. She did feel safe with Lucas. Maybe it would be okay if he came by the house. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to do it for me, but maybe you could be there to give me pointers and make sure I do it right.”

  “I’d be happy to, Claire.”

  * * *

  GREY DROPPED HIS pack of tae-kwon-do gear by the front door and headed for the kitchen the following afternoon. Even though they’d grabbed a quick lunch on the way home, hunger gnawed at his insides. He’d never make it through the park if he didn’t at least grab a snack before Mom rushed them out again.

  “Hey, kiddo, please don’t leave your bag by the door.” His mom strode into the kitchen behind him.

  “Sorry, Mom, I’ll put it away in a minute. I need to eat something before we head back out.”

  “Head back out? We’re not going anywhere.” She handed him a banana, then peeled one for herself. “We just ate. You must be going through another growth spurt.”

  “We’re not going to the park?”

  “I made other plans. Do you want to go to the park? We can go after.”

  “After what? What plans? Do you mean we’re hanging out here? On a perfectly good Saturday afternoon?” he asked, surprised.

  She laughed. “So many questions. Lucas Williams from The Coffee Stop is coming by. He’s helping me redo the caulk around your tub.”

  Curiosity and a little excitement made Grey forget about his banana. “Lucas, the coffee-shop guy, is coming here? How did that happen?”

  “I ran into him last night at the building supply store while I was getting the caulk and he offered to help. I hadn’t realized it’s as complicated as it is.”

  “Really? So you guys are friends now? Like hang-out friends?” he asked.

  She paused a moment. “I guess we are. We went to dinner after we ran into each other. But he’s not coming to hang out. He’s going to show me the right way to caulk the tub.”

  Grey’s excitement built. His mom really was serious about trying to hang out at home. “That’s great,” he said. “I like him. He’s a good guy.” He cocked his head. “So...are you just friends, or do you like him like him?”

  “Grey! We’re just friends.” She started rinsing the dirty dishes in the sink. “Maybe I can get him to look at the garbage disposal.”

  “Is he good at fixing things? Can he fix the shelf in the bookcase in my room?”

  She shut off the water and turned to him. “He’s probably got better things to do than fix all of our stuff for us.”

  “But he’s helping you caulk and he’s a good guy. I’ll bet if we asked, he’d help more. We have lots of stuff that needs fixing around here. And maybe we can make him dinner—you know, to thank him. Like a sit-down dinner.”

  “A sit-down dinner?”

  “Yes, Mom.” Grey folded his arms.

  “Why don’t we see how the caulking goes before we load him up on projects?” she said, frowning. “You’re probably right about dinner, though.”

  The doorbell rang and Grey sprinted for the door. “He’s here.”

  Mom hurried after him, but Grey got there first. He opened the door wide. Lucas stood on the stoop, smiling. It was strange seeing him outside the coffee shop. Grey raised his hand in greeting. “Hello.”

  “Thanks, honey.” His mom stepped behind him and gestured for Lucas to enter. “Come on in.”

  “Want to see my room?” Grey asked. He could show Lucas his shelf and ask him how to fix it. Maybe he could do it himself if he had a few pointers. Mom sure didn’t know how to do that kind of thing.

  “Grey—” Mom said.

  “I’d love to,” Lucas said as he closed the door behind him. “How was tae kwon do?”

  Grey glanced at his white uniform with his orange belt; he’d forgotten he still had it on. He shrugged. “It was cool. This way.” He led Lucas down the hall to his room.

  Mom again followed. “We need to spend a little time in here cleaning up.”

  “What?” Grey looked around. “It always looks like this,” he said.

  “Why don’t you change and then tidy up in here while I show Lucas where the caulk has peeled away around your tub?” his mom asked.

  “Okay, but I should learn how to caulk, too,” Grey said. They were actually hanging out at home in the middle of the day on a weekend. It figured, though. They finally had someone cool to hang out with and his mom wanted to hog him.

  Mom scrunched up her mouth again, like she always did when she was ready to give in. “You can come help after you change, but then you’re going to put your dirty clothes in the hamper and put your action figures away.”

  “Deal,” Grey said. “And then, Lucas, could you maybe tell me what I need to do to fix this shelf? If I could put my books back on it, they wouldn’t be all piled on the floor and it would look better in here. Mom tried to fix it, but it just fell apart again.”

  Lucas bent down to look at the shelf. “I think I could help you with that after we caulk the tub.”

  “All right!” Grey wanted to high-five Lucas, but Mom was giving him her you’d-better-watch-yourself-mister look.

  “This way to the bathroom,” Mom announced and Lucas followed her out of the room.

  Grey smiled as he pulled a pair of jeans from the pile on his chair. It was Saturday afternoon and they weren’t rushing off to the park. They were hanging out at home. All he had to do was keep finding projects for Lucas to help with and they could surely stretch this out until dinner.

  CHAPTER TEN

  CLAIRE’S SWEET SMELL teased Lucas as he moved beside her. He closed his eyes to enjoy it. Hers wasn’t a flowery scent. It was clean and fresh, all that was good and desirable, and he fought the urge to kiss her again. If only he didn’t know how soft and responsive her mouth would be.

  “I think I got all of the old caulk off,” she said as she ran her hand along the seam around the tub.

  “It looks good.”

  “You were right, though. I’m not a pro caulker. I would have just peeled up the old stuff without doing any cleaning. I’m glad you told me about that softener.”

  “You did a great job on the prep work.” He forced himself to focus on loading the tube of caulk into the gun. “Now, we need to cut this tip at a forty-five-degree angle.”

  He pulled out his pocketknife and flipped it open. Claire inhaled shar
ply. He felt her tense beside him, but she didn’t speak.

  Then she stood quickly and said, “I’m going to check on Grey. He must be having trouble finding the paper towels.”

  She left and Lucas’s stomach clenched as he looked at the blade. Though it was just a pocketknife, nothing overtly threatening, she definitely wasn’t comfortable around it. Had someone threatened her with a knife? Hurt her?

  He quickly cut the tip then put away the knife, just as Grey rushed in, paper towels bunched in his fists.

  “I didn’t know how many you needed, so I brought lots of them,” he explained. “I can get more if you want.”

  “This is plenty, thanks,” Lucas said.

  He turned to Claire, who stood just inside the door, her expression unreadable, but her posture stiff, her arms wrapped protectively around her middle. He extended the caulk gun toward her and asked, “Would you like the honors?”

  She smiled that small smile of hers, though her expression remained guarded as she moved to his side. “Sure. Is there a special technique?”

  He took her hands in his to guide her. “You’re going to begin here and angle it so you’re pulling the gun away from the tip,” he said. “We’ll start on this short wall. Keep constant pressure on the trigger and don’t lift the tip until you reach the corner. Then release the trigger at the end, so the caulk doesn’t pool.”

  She nodded and he let go of her hands, so she could maneuver the caulking gun on her own. She ran a steady bead along the seam. If she’d been disturbed by the knife, she’d recovered quickly or hid it well. Again, he hated the thought of someone harming her.

  What trauma had Claire experienced?

  “Why is the tub full of water?” Grey asked. “Is someone taking a bath?”

  “It kind of settles the tub and ensures we have the tightest seal,” Lucas said.

  Grey nodded. “You mean the water pushes out the sides of the tub?”

  “Exactly,” Claire said.