Espresso in the Morning
Page 12
“We only had dinner together once. And we won’t even be at the house today. I’m meeting Lucas at the trailhead. You know I’d love to have you come hiking with us, but we already made these plans with Amanda and Becca. It would be rude to back out now.”
He crossed his arms and pouted. “So, can you ask Lucas if he wants to go hiking again next weekend, with both of us?”
She wasn’t sure she’d make it through today with Lucas, let alone next weekend. “Grey, I know you like Lucas—”
“Of course I like Lucas. He’s a cool guy. He’s normal.”
“—but I don’t want you to get too attached to him.”
Grey stared at her. “Why not?” he asked. “Because you think he’ll leave?”
She felt a rush of empathy for her son. He’d been through so much and the effects were starting to come out. “Not everyone is like your dad, honey. In fact, Lucas is very different from your dad, but, even so, he might not stick around forever. That’s normal. People come and go.”
“Sometimes they stay. Why wouldn’t he? He likes us. He’d come over more if you’d let him.”
She blew out a breath. “You can’t say that after just one afternoon. And even if he likes us, he could change his mind. You just never know. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Besides, I’m...used to being on my own. It’s an adjustment for me to be around another person so much.”
“You’re always around other people,” he insisted.
“Yes, that’s true, but they’re mostly just other people who happen to be sharing the same space. I mean being around someone I’m...interacting with.”
Claire could see his frown even from the corner of her eye. “I get it, Mom. You can’t have relationships.”
His perceptiveness surprised her. “Grey—”
“It’s true. You don’t get along with other people. You and Gram don’t get along. That’s why we never see her. Aunt Becca gets along with you, but she gets along with everyone. I guess Dad didn’t like being with you, or he would still be with us.”
She glanced at him, stunned. “That’s how you see me?” she asked.
He shrugged, his eyes downcast, but he didn’t deny it. They drove in silence the rest of the way. When they got to her sister’s, Grey jumped out of the car with his bag and raced up the front steps before Claire could unbuckle her seat belt. As he disappeared into the house, her phone buzzed with a text from Lucas.
Stopped by the shop. Bringing ur espresso. C u soon.
She shook her head as she backed out of Becca’s driveway. After this episode with Grey, she couldn’t say for sure she was looking forward to seeing Lucas, but one thing was certain. She needed that espresso.
* * *
THE SUN cast a dappled light around the trees as Lucas hauled himself up a boulder the size of a small car. Claire turned to him from her spot on the rock. She pointed to the Chattahoochee River as it rolled by along the other side of the trail they’d just left.
“The geese are still here. I guess they stay year-round,” she said.
He settled beside her, forcing himself to look at the geese instead of her. “They don’t want to leave a good thing. I don’t think the winter will be too hard for them. It feels nice out here today.”
“Yes, it does, though I’m sure we’ll have another cold spell soon,” she said. “I’m glad I left my jacket in the car.”
“Me, too.” He shook his head. “You move at a pretty good pace, though. If I’d known we were going to take this at a near jog, I’d have worn running shorts.”
Her gaze drifted over his cargo pants and T-shirt. “You’re dressed fine. And you were the one setting the pace. I was just trying to keep up.”
He chuckled and said, “If you say so, though I think you could outrun me any day.”
“But I was the one who wanted to take a break. Remember?”
A goose honked from somewhere farther upstream. A fly fisherman swung his line, casting it with a precise arc. A slight breeze ruffled the little flyaway hairs framing Claire’s face.
“I wish I had the patience for that,” she said, nodding at the man standing thigh-high in the river.
“You mean to fish? You don’t like the sport?”
She crinkled her nose. “Too much downtime.”
“That’s right. You like to stay on the go, but look at him.” He leaned closer to her, gesturing toward the man. “Doesn’t he look peaceful?”
Her shoulder bumped him as she shrugged. He didn’t withdraw. “Maybe it works for him, but I couldn’t just stand there with nothing going on.”
“Nothing going on?” Lucas cocked his head. “Listen.”
She was silent for a while. After a moment, she leaned toward him, her shoulder brushing his again, deliberately this time. “Right, nothing going on.”
“What about the splash of the river, the call of that bird—is that a hawk?—and the whispering of the wind? Peaceful.”
She chuckled softly. “The whispering of the wind? Is that what you hear?”
His laughter came easily with her. “Yes, and I don’t care how goofy that sounds. We all need to hear the wind when it’s soft like this. Come on, try it.”
“You’re killing me,” she said, but she smiled.
He drew back slightly to look at her. He said, “After all the hustle and bustle of life, you can honestly tell me you can’t appreciate a little quiet, a little peace?” His gaze floated back to the fisherman. “I know I’ve had moments that were so insanely chaotic that all the peace in the world wouldn’t soothe the memory of them.” He turned to look at her again. “But it helps.”
Her eyes filled with empathy. “I’m glad you can find peaceful moments. It must have been really hard for you.”
She waited, but when he didn’t elaborate, she shook her head. “I’m not saying peace and quiet are bad things. I appreciate the benefit they offer...for other people. For me...it’s difficult.”
He touched her arm. “Why, Claire? What is it about quiet that bothers you?”
She shook her head again, but didn’t respond for so long, he thought she wouldn’t. Still he remained silent, giving her the opportunity to work through her thoughts. Why did quiet bother her? For Toby it had been the noise. Crowds, music, any situation with a lot going on set him off. He couldn’t handle anything but the quiet.
“It’s deceptive,” she said. “The quiet. It closes in around you and it seems peaceful...safe.”
He took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “But it isn’t always?”
She looked away, but kept her fingers entwined with his.
“So, you don’t feel safe when it’s quiet.”
She stiffened next to him and whatever opening he’d had seemed to have evaporated. “Are you ready to get moving again?” she asked. “We’re eight miles out and need to make it all the way back. Are you up to it?”
“Sure.” He jumped from the boulder, then reached up to help her down.
As they headed back along the trail, he took her hand again, satisfied when she made no move to pull away. “How’s Grey doing?”
“Grey? He’s great. He hates me, but he’s great.”
“Your son doesn’t hate you.”
“Really?” She turned to him. “He couldn’t get out of the car fast enough when I dropped him at my sister’s. He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Did the two of you have a fight?”
“We had a discussion. We seem to have them more and more. I’m not sure I’d call it a fight. He’s just not happy these days.” She was silent again for a moment. “I seem to just rub him the wrong way most of the time. Actually, he was upset that he couldn’t come hiking with us.”
“I thought he was going to the zoo and Cyclorama with his cousin.”
“He was. I guess you’re his new favorite person, though. He likes hanging out with you.”
Lucas nodded. “I like hanging out with him, too—with both of you. We could come back another time and bring h
im along, if that would help.”
She smiled, though there was still something sad in her eyes. “He’d like that.”
They walked along and he didn’t comment. What made her sad about that? Was she worried about Grey spending time with him? Did she trust him with her son?
He held a branch aside for her to pass. “You say he’d like to come hiking with us, but I get the feeling you might not like that so much.”
“It would be nice.”
“But?”
She shook her head, continued a few more steps, before turning to him. “I’m just afraid he’ll get attached. You know, we talked about how he needs a man in his life and he evidently does, because he’s taken to you like a duck to water, but...”
“You’re afraid he’ll get attached and then I won’t be around anymore.”
“Yes,” she said as she started hiking again. “Not that you’d ever deliberately do anything to hurt him. I know you’re a decent guy. I appreciate that you care about him.” She shrugged. “That’s part of the problem. Your decency is like a beacon to him. That doesn’t mean you need to take him on, though. I know you already have a full life. You didn’t sign on to befriend my son.”
What could he say to reassure her? He’d actually started talking to her because he wanted to help her son. She was right. As much as he’d like things to work out between him and Claire, there were no guarantees. In fact, as skittish as she seemed to be, any romance between them was likely to be short-lived.
What then? Where would that leave Grey?
“Listen, I didn’t tell you that to make you feel guilty,” she said. “He’s my kid. He means everything to me. I would just hate to see him disappointed.”
“I get it. Honestly, I have the same concern. I wouldn’t want to disappoint him, either. Or you, for that matter.”
“Me?” Her eyebrows arched. “You couldn’t disappoint me. If there’s any screwing up to be done here, I’ll be the one doing it.”
“That’s generous of you to say, but I’ve disappointed plenty of people in my life.”
Her gaze met his briefly, before flitting back to the trail. “That makes two of us. Mostly I’ve disappointed Grey, though. I’d really like to break that trend. I just don’t know how.”
“He’s ten?”
She nodded.
“Do you think any parents manage not to disappoint their kids at that age?” he asked.
“I’m sure there are plenty.”
“I’ll bet they’re rare. And I’m sure it will get worse as he gets a little older.”
“Great. Can’t wait for that.” She stepped around a puddle in the trail.
“I’m no expert, but it seems to me for the most part the two of you get along. You talk, right?”
“We do.”
“And communication is key. I think if you have that down you have a head start on working through the bumps along the way,” he said.
“I really hope so.” She sounded forlorn.
Was she only concerned about working things out with Grey, or was something else worrying her? He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “You two have a solid relationship. He wanted to be with you today, right? Wasn’t that part of the problem?”
“He wanted to be with you today. I’m in the mix by default.”
“I think he likes the idea of all three of us together.” He kept his gaze on the trail, but didn’t let go of her hand. “And if I’m going to be honest, I’d have to admit I do, too.”
This time she was the one to squeeze his hand. “It has its appeal.”
A burst of pleasure rolled through him, though he tamped it down quickly. He’d have to approach any advances in his relationship with both Claire and Grey with caution. If he really were a decent guy, wouldn’t he be satisfied with being friends with her? That would certainly be the safest way to ensure he’d be around a little longer. The sunlight glinted off her hair, again picking out the red highlights. He watched the gentle sway of her walk as she strode quickly along the path. The memory of their last kiss washed over him.
What if they moved beyond the friend zone? The truth was, they’d already done so with those kisses. Could he even be just friends with her, when the sound of her voice sent pleasure rippling over him? What if they became more than friends and the relationship actually worked? Didn’t he owe it to himself to explore that possibility?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE HALF-MOON hung low in the sky as Claire reached her car and turned to Lucas, key in hand. A pole light illuminated their corner of the parking lot. As before, she hated to see her time with him end, though her logical side warned her that Grey wasn’t the only one in danger of getting attached.
“You shouldn’t have let me take us out so far,” she said. “I’d forgotten how early sunset comes this time of year. We should have headed back a mile or so sooner. It was a good thing you had that miniflashlight on your key ring.”
He held up the light. “I have a thing for little gadgets. You never know what will come in handy. Besides, we made it back in one piece. No worries.”
She nodded. “Well, thanks. I had a good time.”
A cool breeze whipped around them and Lucas stepped closer to her, shielding her from the chill. “I did, too.”
The heat of his body radiated out to her. She racked her brain for something to say. She should tell him good-night, then jump in her car and go. But it felt so good just to stand close to him, not touching, as anticipation rose in her.
He traced the curve of her jaw with his finger. “Claire...”
She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She wasn’t ready for this. He was so...present...in the way his energy wrapped around her, in the way his body seemed solid and real, in the way he focused on her and her alone, as if no one else existed.
She shook her head, but couldn’t form a sentence. Her lips tingled with the memory of his lips caressing them. She should just turn away, but instead, her hand found its way to his chest. His heart beat under her fingertips.
“I would never hurt you, Claire.” His voice was unsteady, heavy with emotion.
He blew out a breath, then he moved to turn away. Her fingers closed around the fabric of his shirt, holding him in place. He looked down at the T-shirt bunched in her fist as she stared in surprise, willing her wayward hand to let go.
Then he smiled, the light in his eyes filling her with peace, with the clear realization he hadn’t wanted to leave any more than she’d wanted him to. His hand covered hers, as his other arm scooped her close, bringing her up to meet his kiss.
Her heart raced and she again found herself lost in the beauty of kissing Lucas. In his arms she felt at ease...safe.
How could this not be right?
Eventually he pulled back to look at her. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”
“I’m not ready for you to go home, either.” She wrapped her arms around his neck to draw him closer.
* * *
CLAIRE INHALED SLOWLY as she parked in her garage and peered in her rearview mirror at Lucas’s headlights stopping behind her in the driveway. She needed to calm down, but a sense of anticipation raced through her.
She’d invited him to her house for a thrown-together dinner of whatever she had in the fridge and he’d said yes. And now they’d arrived. Yet, the speeding of her heart wasn’t from fear the way she might have expected. No, this was excitement.
She wasn’t afraid of Lucas. When she was with him, she felt safe, enveloped in that special something that made him who he was. The little spikes of fear she’d once felt had ceased as she’d gotten to know him. He’d shown her and Grey nothing but kindness and consideration.
As she got out of her car the memory of that first night with him when he’d gone into action at the scene of the accident flowed over her. He’d been every bit the hero that night, sharing his strength and calm with her. The knowledge he’d keep her safe had comforted her through that evening and the feeling hadn’t left.
“If you don’t like what we have, we can order in.” Relief overwhelmed her. At least for a while longer, she wouldn’t have to bear being alone in her house.
He rubbed his stomach with his free hand. “I don’t know, you put me through the paces out there. I’ve worked up quite an appetite. I may clean out your fridge and still need to order something.”
Her stomach rumbled in response, making them both laugh. She pushed open the side door. “I think it’s safe to say we’ll use whatever’s on hand for starters, then.”
“It all sounds good to me,” he said as he followed her into the living room.
She flipped on the TV, then detoured into her home office to boot up the computer. Again, she was careful to keep the volume lower than normal, but once the house was filled with sound she led him to the kitchen. “How about a drink first?” she asked.
“Water would be great.”
She passed him a glass from the cupboard, then pointed to the water dispenser at one end of the counter. “The water’s over there.”
“Yes, I remember this from my last visit. You take the hydrating thing seriously.”
She shrugged as she pulled an assortment of bowls and covered dishes from the refrigerator, depositing them on the heavy oak table. “It’s important, given how active we are. Besides, coffee is dehydrating, so I have to drink my water if I want my espresso.”
He set her glass of water on the table as she pulled two dishes from another cabinet and said, “So tonight we have a smorgasbord of spinach, pecan, avocado and feta cheese salad, roasted chicken—I’ll make whatever we don’t eat tonight into soup tomorrow to take to my sister’s—mac and cheese, made with quinoa pasta, and tuna salad. Oh, and grilled veggies.”
He spread his hands wide. “Seriously? We won’t need anything more than this. This is a feast. For someone who doesn’t like sit-down meals you really know how to throw together dinner.”
“Just because I don’t like formal meals doesn’t mean I don’t cook. We still have to eat.” Her stomach again growled as though making her point.