Mama's Boy

by ReShonda Tate Billingsley

  Gloria didn’t know how she made it back out to the car. Her mother was sitting in the front seat, nodding off. Gloria eased into the car and began sobbing.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” her mother asked, groggy from her nap.

  “He’s dropping the case.”

  “What?”

  “He’s dropping the case,” she repeated.

  “Oh, Jesus,” Erma replied.

  “He said he just can’t with everything that’s going on.” She’d told her mother everything last night. Erma had held her as she cried, but thankfully, hadn’t said much else.

  Erma was silent for a few minutes, then said, “Well, the way I see it, you have two options. You can sit here like a blubbering fool or you can do something about it.”

  “Do what?” Gloria sniffed.

  “I don’t know, find a new attorney.”

  “I can’t find someone this fast.”

  “Seems like to me you sure got a lot of things you can’t do,” Erma said.

  “We’re about to go to trial, Mama, not to mention the money,” she replied.

  “Then you have to convince him to not give up on the case,” Erma said, matter-of-factly.

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Look, you’re the same woman that can take a baby and convince the whole world that he is yours. Well, everyone except me.” She smiled.

  Again, Gloria was thankful her mother didn’t launch into a rampage of I told you sos.

  “Jamal is mine.”

  “Then act like it. All your life, I’ve been telling you that you have a fighter’s spirit in your blood. You’re more like me than you care to admit. You didn’t like your daddy’s sit-back-and-take-it attitude when you were little. You let your husband take you away from that. But you’re a fighter.” She tapped Gloria’s chest. “You’re a fighter in there. Are we gladiators or are we bitches?”

  Gloria couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Really, Mama?”

  “Okay, so you know I love some Scandal. The fact remains that you gotta pull it together, baby girl. All this whining and moping, working my last nerve, is just too much. Your son is in trouble and the only person who can help him is you.”

  “What am I supposed to do?”

  “You keep telling Jamal to hang on. You gotta do the same. You have to have faith and you got to keep on fighting. The devil tests us when we’re at our weakest moment.”

  Gloria was a little shocked. “When did you get to be so wise?”

  “I always have been. My family just underestimates me. Now, come on. Let’s go by the drive-thru daiquiri shop so we can get a daiquiri and strategize your next move.”

  Her mother slid her oversized sunglasses on, let the top down on her convertible, then sped toward the daiquiri shop.

  53

  * * *

  * * *

  Gloria had never prayed so hard. She remembered Elton preaching a sermon one time about surrendering when you had nowhere else to turn and all hope was lost. Simply surrendering to God and knowing that He would work it all out. That’s where she was now. She was surrendering. She’d prayed. She’d cried. She’d turned it over to God.

  And like her mother said, she was ready to fight.

  Yes, Gloria had faith, but she also knew that God helped those who helped themselves. That’s why she was here about to give God a little assistance.

  Gloria lightly tapped on the front door. She felt like a stalker, having followed Kay home from her office. She hated to be coming to this woman’s house, but Gloria didn’t think she’d make it past the receptionist at her office. Gloria knew Phillip wasn’t at home because she had called his office on the way over. But right now, she was at her last resort. She was just about to ring the doorbell when the front door swung open. The most adorable curly-haired teenage boy stood there.

  “Hello,” he said.

  “Hi, is your mother home?” Gloria asked.

  He looked her up and down, like he was unsure whether he should answer. “Yes, she is,” he finally said.

  “Well, can you tell her that Mrs. Jones is here to see her?”

  The boy nodded. “Hold on, please.”

  She smiled. He was a mannerable boy and Gloria found herself wondering if that’s how Jamal would’ve turned out if he’d grown up with Kay. She shook that thought off. Jamal had grown up right where he was supposed to. With her.

  After a few minutes, Kay appeared in the doorway. Shock registered across her face. “What are you doing here?”

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Gloria shifted.

  Kay folded her arms and glared at Gloria. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, I’m not prosecuting your case anymore so I really don’t know what we have to talk about.”

  “I know,” Gloria said, “but I’m here to talk to you”—she paused—“woman to woman.” She looked up at the teen, who had appeared behind Kay. “Mother to mother,” Gloria added.

  Kay turned around. “Ryan, go on back inside, son. I’ll be in in a minute.”

  Ryan hesitated, glanced back and forth between the two women, then eased away. Kay stepped outside and closed the door.

  Gloria wasn’t going to lie. She had hoped to be able to go inside and see Kay’s lavish home. But today, that wasn’t her mission. So she refocused on the real reason she was here.

  “I need your help,” Gloria said, getting straight to the point.

  “I don’t know what you think I can help you with,” Kay replied. “I turned the case over. I recused myself. I’m out of it.”

  “But your husband has stepped down as well.”

  Kay looked shocked, like she had no idea. Finally, she said, “I have no control over what he has done.”

  “I know. But we’re too far in the process and Phillip is committed and we can’t lose him. The trial starts in two weeks.”

  “Well, I understand that you have lawyers lined up to represent you.”

  “We have lawyers lined up to get in the spotlight that this case brings. Phillip is here because he cares about what happens to Jamal.”

  Kay folded her arms across her chest. “Yes, my husband is very committed to getting justice for Jamal. But I guess he was committed to his wife more. I’m sorry, I can’t help you. He doesn’t want to stay on the case because he knows what your husband did. You know what your husband did.”

  Gloria took a deep breath and then looked back up. “You’re right. I was wrong. He was wrong. I was wrong to believe him.”

  Kay gave her a tell me something I don’t know look.

  “But, please, try to understand my position,” Gloria continued. “You know your husband. If someone came to you and told you the worst thing ever, something no amount of money could make you think he was capable of doing, wouldn’t you be inclined to believe him?”

  Kay stood for a minute, thinking.

  Gloria continued, “I never saw that man who,” she paused, inhaled, and readied herself to utter words she’d never admitted, “who raped you. He had never shown himself to me so I couldn’t believe he existed. I didn’t want to believe he existed. I really did believe that you . . . that it was consensual. Or maybe I just wanted to believe it.”

  Gloria could tell she was getting through to Kay, so she didn’t let up.

  “That doesn’t excuse it. It doesn’t justify it. I should have listened. I should have opened my eyes. I should’ve let my head lead me and not my heart. I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. After you left that day with your parents, my gut told me something wasn’t right. That’s why it haunted me. And I asked for Jamal because I wanted to make it right. I wanted that child, who didn’t ask to be brought here, to be loved. I wanted to give him a chance at life. I wanted to make up for not standing up for you. And I wanted to find joy in tragedy. That’s why I insisted t
hat we adopt him.”

  Kay’s eyes started misting. “It was your idea to take him?”

  “Yes. I mean, Elton didn’t fight me on it.” Gloria didn’t see any sense in telling Kay how Elton had been against the idea. “And we have loved Jamal. We have tried to give him the best. He doesn’t deserve to be where he is. He’s a good kid.”

  “Most mothers say that.”

  Gloria stood silent for a moment. “We deserve that one,” she said. “My husband did something very, very bad seventeen years ago. He should’ve been punished for it. But we can’t change the past. All we can do is try to create a better future. And that’s what I’m here to do.”

  “What do you want from me, Gloria?” Kay sighed.

  “Jamal needs Phillip. We need you to convince him to stay on our case.”

  Kay rolled her eyes. “Even if I could, it’s not my place to convince my husband of anything. He can’t support what your husband did to me.”

  “I’ve left Elton,” Gloria blurted out. “So he shouldn’t even be a part of the equation.”

  Kay’s mouth dropped open. “What? Is that some kind of trick?”

  “Please understand, my son’s life is on the line. I’m not playing games, doing any tricks. I’m just trying to save him,” Gloria said. “This situation simply opened my eyes to my husband. I’ve discovered so many things about him that I can’t stand. That I’ve excused over the years.”

  Kay stood for a minute. “Well, that’s on you,” she said.

  “I just need you to try to talk to Phillip. Please, I’m begging you. Help me save my son. Help me save our son.”

  Kay didn’t say anything at first, then finally said, “Fine. I’ll talk to him. But he’s his own man and I can’t make any promises.”

  “That’s all I can ask. Thank you. Thank you,” Gloria cried.

  She didn’t know why she felt so confident. Maybe it was the look in Kay’s eyes. It was the look of a mother. And ultimately, that trumped everything.

  54

  * * *

  * * *

  Would this nightmare ever end? Kay had barely closed the door when she heard Ryan say, “Was that his mother?”

  “What?” Kay said. She was a little flustered because some of the things Gloria said were resonating with her.

  “Was that his mother? Your son’s mother?” he repeated.

  His words caught her off guard. She had no idea that he knew. “Were you eavesdropping? You know you’re in enough trouble as it is.”

  Ryan stood, staring at her. “Why didn’t you tell us you had a son?”

  For a moment, Kay wanted to take her parents’ approach and tell him to stay out of grown folks’ business but she’d hated it when they’d done that to her and she really didn’t want to do it to Ryan.

  “Have a seat,” she said, motioning toward the living room sofa. “What do you know?” she asked after he was seated.

  “Everything that’s out. I read a lot of stuff on the Internet. I don’t know what’s true and what’s not.”

  She sighed, debating how much she should share. “Well, it’s true that I have a son I gave up for adoption,” she said.

  “But I don’t understand. You’re such a good mom. You seem like you like kids. Why would you give yours away?”

  “I love kids,” she replied. “It’s just that the circumstances, they were very different.”

  “Was it true that you were . . .” His words trailed off as if he couldn’t bear to finish the sentence.

  “Raped?” she finished for him. She nodded. “Yes. By someone I knew and trusted. But my parents made the decision to give my child up.”

  “So if it was up to you, would you have kept him?”

  Nobody had ever asked her that question before and she didn’t know the answer. Until the point that she brought Jamal into this world, she would’ve said no. But the minute she gave birth to him, a part of her longed for him.

  “I don’t know the answer to that,” Kay responded.

  Ryan’s face was blanketed with confusion. “My mom left me through death and it left a hole in me . . .” He paused. “I hope I don’t make you mad by saying this.”

  “No, of course, you can speak freely.” That was one of the things that they never talked about, Ryan’s mother. Whenever Kay or Phillip tried to broach the topic, Ryan would change the subject and start talking about something else.

  “It left a hole in me that no amount of love from anyone else can fill,” Ryan continued. “So I can only imagine how someone feels to know that their mother just gave them up. And I know the stuff I read said he shot a cop, but from what I saw, it was an accident. I also know you don’t really like bad kids, but I can’t help but wonder if your son had stayed with you, would he have turned out different. I know you and Dad like to say I’m a good kid, and I am, well, except for the whole making drugs thing, but I’m good because I was raised by two good people. That can make a big difference.”

  Kay sat in silence for a moment. The rightness of everything Ryan and Gloria had said was weighing on her. “You’ve given me some food for thought. You really are an intelligent young man.”

  Even though he smiled, a blanket of shame covered his face and he lowered his head. “I’m sorry I let you down.”

  She lifted his chin. “Your father and I have never been more disappointed in you but we know that you’re a good kid.”

  “Dad is so mad at me.”

  They’d taken away his computer privileges and grounded him, which was difficult because it was not like he ever wanted to do anything anyway.

  “Why did you do it, Ryan?” She hoped this rare moment of openness would give her the answers she and Phillip hadn’t been able to get since he got expelled.

  Ryan let out a defeated sigh. “I was trying to fit in. I was just playing around with some formulas and came up with a less potent dosage of X. I knew it was wrong, but I told someone, who told someone, and next thing I know, people were asking for it and I started getting popular.”

  “But you are the one always talking about you’re a self-proclaimed nerd.”

  “Yeah, that’s usually what nerds say to make themselves feel better,” he said. “I’m just grateful for a second chance. You don’t ever have to worry about me getting in trouble again.”

  “I hope not, Ryan. Because you not only let us down, you let yourself down.”

  “I’m lucky to get a second chance, aren’t I, Mom?”

  She nodded. “You sure are.”

  “Maybe Jamal deserves one, too.”

  She hesitated, unsure of where that came from. “You and Jamal are different,” she replied.

  “We are. He’s your real son. I’m your stepson. If you have enough love for me, you can have enough love for him. Face your past and I bet you can learn to love him, too.” He looked at her, then stood and walked off.

  “He’s wise beyond his years.”

  Kay turned around to see Phillip standing in the doorway. She hadn’t even realized that he’d come in.

  “He is.”

  Phillip walked over, kissed her on the cheek, then sat next to her on the sofa.

  “I heard him talking about learning from his mistakes. You think he has?” Phillip said.

  “I really think so. He feels awful about what happened.”

  “I just don’t understand why. We gave that boy everything,” Phillip said.

  “Maybe that’s the problem.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Kay said, “Do you think what he said is true, that Jamal deserves a second chance as well?”

  “Yes. He’s a good kid who got caught up in a bad situation,” Phillip said. “I hope they find a good attorney.”

  Kay turned to face her husband. In that moment, she decided to go against every ethical thing she’d ever done.

 
“Phillip, this doesn’t need to go to court,” Kay said. “That boy’s life has been turned upside down. Get them to settle on reduced charges, with time served.”

  “I’m not representing them anymore,” he said.

  She took his hands. “I know what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it, I really do. But this isn’t about me, or you, or even Elton. He’s going to have to pay, but his karma will be dealt with by a higher power. Jamal doesn’t need to have his life ruined. Call Gloria and tell her you’re back on the case.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

  She saw relief fill his eyes. “I love you, you know that?” he said.

  “I love you, and you’ll be happy to know this whole situation has opened my eyes to a lot of things.”

  “So, when you become mayor you’ll remember all of this?” he asked as he pulled her into a hug.

  She smiled. “You think I still I have a shot?”

  “I know you do. You’re Kay Christiansen, Superwoman.”

  She snuggled closer. “Right now, I just want to be regular old Kay.” Her phone had been blowing up after the debate. Much to Marty’s chagrin, his revelation hadn’t had as much of a negative effect as he would’ve liked. Yes, she’d dropped some in the polls, but she was still leading him by three points.

  Phillip grabbed the remote. “Then I have the perfect solution. No more work tonight.” He picked up the remote and flipped the TV on. “Let’s pop some popcorn and find a movie to watch. You know there’s a Tyler Perry marathon playing on one of these channels.”

  Kay laid her head on Phillip’s shoulder and for the first time in months, pushed everything out of her mind and just enjoyed a quiet moment with her husband.

  55

  * * *

  * * *

  She’d survived the debate. She was handling the media scrutiny. Yet Kay still felt a pang inside her soul. And at the core of what she was feeling was the son she gave away.