"Just think," he said as we lay in each other's arms. "A whole month without this."
We laughed together, and then he grew serious. "You know I don't mean to rush you, but will you have an answer for me when you get back?"
This was the first mention of the proposal since it had been made. I looked at him and felt so much love. "I will have an answer for you. I promise."
He smiled. "Will you seal that promise with a kiss?"
Chapter 14
We kissed goodbye the next morning and I felt like I was leaving for good. When I finally got home to my flat, I had only enough time for a shower and change before Craig arrived. "Wait till you see this!" he exclaimed as we climbed in his car. When we stopped I saw what he was referring to. There was a bus with our name painted all over it, with tour dates and locations.
"Wow," I said, and got out my camera. "Go and stand by it, Craig", I said and he did as I took a photo.
All our gear was on the bus already and the guys did a check to see everything was there and was okay.
Soon we were off to our first destination. We arrived late at night and booked straight into our hotel. I couldn't believe the accommodation - first class - for us? Andrea and I decided to share, and the guys shared a couple of rooms with the bus driver.
* * * *
As we climbed into our beds on that first night, Andrea asked me a question that made all things clear.
"Debbie, how come you aren't sharing a room with Craig? Is everything okay between you guys?"
I smiled and looked at her. "Andrea, Craig is my very best friend, do you know that?" I asked and she nodded.
"I guessed it."
"Do you know that I am very involved with a man who you guys have never met?" I asked, and she looked surprised.
"I thought you and Craig were boyfriend and girlfriend. We all thought that - I'm sorry." She blushed.
"Don't be. Lots of people think Craig and I are involved but we've been best friends for a long time and I love him a lot, but it's not romantic. Do you understand me?"
She nodded. "So who is he seeing?"
"Nobody. He's totally free, and he's a wonderful guy," I said and she smiled at me.
"I know."
* * * *
Our first gig was, to be completely honest, downright scary. All that day we tried to talk ourselves into positive thinking but it didn't seem to end my nervousness. Tuning into a local radio station, we heard a DJ play one of our new songs and advertise our gig. Our sponsors informed us it was a full house, according to ticket sales.
Before our final check at the venue, Andrea came up to me and pulled me aside. "Debbie, you won't say anything to Craig about me asking about him, will you?"
I smiled and shook my head. "Your secret is safe with me."
The crowd's response was overwhelming when we stepped onto the stage. I had never dreamed we would ever have this effect on an audience. Between songs I would take a look around the faces of the band, and everyone had Cheshire cat grins.
When Craig and I sang our duet, Total Freedom, we were astounded that these guys knew the words. The song had never been released as a single, yet the song was obviously known. It made Craig and I just that little bit more tearful and intimate and the crowd went wild when we finished.
Back in the hotel that night we celebrated with 'mocktails', on the house from our sponsor. Craig had somehow convinced Greg, Andrea and Andrew that we could survive, being a totally dry band. And to me and Craig that represented something very important - teenagers did follow examples of idol bands and if we ever made it that far, the kids would be following non-alcohol and non-drugs.
By the third evening I could see all of us showing wear and tear but somehow we kept up our enthusiasm and respect for each other, and didn't lose our cool in tiredness.
On the fourth day we decided to start our travel first thing in the morning so we could reach our next town earlier in the day, and then took a mini van out into a quiet part of town where there was a pond and grass.
I was ready to lie down and absorb sunlight but just as I went to sit down Craig came up behind me and took my hand. I let him lead me down to the water, where we took off our shoes and cooled our feet.
"Have you spoken to Steven yet?" he asked. For four days I had been awaiting it.
I shook my head. "I haven't had time to think about Steven."
We were both quiet as we watched ducks swimming on the water.
"This is our dream coming true. I never thought we'd have followers like we obviously have." I turned to look at him. "What if we do great on this tour and want to do it again and again? Where is Steven going to fit in?"
"Well, you can't live for work - none of us can. You're going to get lonely if you choose to let Steven go. Wouldn't it be better to have him to go home to, even if it were briefly between tours?"
"But is that fair on him, Craig? Is it fair on either of us?" I fought to keep control of the tears that threatened, and Craig took my hand to kiss it.
"Everything is going to work itself out. Don't dwell on 'what if'. Think of it this way - you'll always have the best friend anyone could ask for," he said and we laughed as I playfully punched his arm.
He smiled at me brilliantly, and gave me a quick hug before pulling away again. "We shouldn't act like this. I think our friends already have the wrong idea," Craig said, looking at the others.
"Yes they do!" I answered.
He looked at me. "How can you be so sure?"
I breathed in deeply. "Andrea asked me about us when we first left home. She was surprised we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend."
I didn't want to say anything more but he asked. "But why should it be any big deal to them?"
"It isn't to them, but it is to her," I said and he smiled.
"What are you saying, so evasively?"
I smiled at him playfully again. "Don't bother trying to get that out of me. I promised a confidence so I'm not going to say anything more … but I'm sure if you look closely, you will work it out yourself."
I stood up and he followed. "Come on, tell me," he said, as if to plead me for an answer to what I was talking about.
"No, no, NO!" I laughed at him and as we approached the others he gave me a smile as if to say, 'okay'.
Soon an hour had passed and we all hopped back in the van, hiding the adrenaline rushes we all got before a gig.
* * * *
The next day I finally had a strong feeling I had been waiting for - I was missing Steven.
The dial tone rang only once before the call was answered. "Hello?" It was the voice I loved to hear so much and it almost took my breath away.
"Steven."
"Hi Debbie, how's the tour going?" He sounded happy but quiet. I smiled as tears quietly started to flow. How could this happen? I hadn't even been away for a full week yet.
"It's going great. I really miss you!"
Steven breathed a sigh of relief, as if he had expected bad news. "I miss you too."
We made small talk for a while, knowing that was much better than not talking at all. When I hung up I wiped away my last tear and went to rinse my eyes before we left for our next town.
* * * *
Over the next week all of us seemed to draw even closer as a group, and it was in the third week that I saw Andrea's dream veering towards turning into reality. Craig could have been being just nice to her, knowing how she felt about him, but something in his eyes told me he was quite taken with Andrea. I smiled to myself at the thought - there was nothing in the world that would please me more than Craig falling in love.
* * * *
Six nights before our return home he finally came to me. "Debs, can you and I go somewhere quiet to talk?" he said, sounding very awkward, maybe even embarrassed, at whatever was happening.
We sat down at a table in the courtyard of our hotel. "It's a beautiful evening, isn't it?" I said, trying to get him to relax. He still didn't say anything so I took his hand and ki
ssed it. Finally he looked into my eyes. "What's wrong, Craig? Has something happened between you and Andrea?"
"No, actually, everything is going great between Andrea and me. That's what is freaking me out!" I smiled at him and he squeezed my hand back. "When you were implying she liked me I thought I'd just see what you were going on. And … I don't know … she's just really great."
I nodded. "I know. She is great."
"You don't mind?" he asked and I was taken aback.
"Why would I mind?"
"You'll always be here for me, won't you? I don't want to lose your friendship."
I stood up and walked around the table where he also stood. Holding each other, I whispered to him, "You'll never lose my friendship and I hope I'll never lose yours."
After the gig that night I got to hear the other side of the story. Andrea was quiet until we were both in our beds.
"Debbie?" she asked and I smiled in the darkness and let her know that I was still awake and ready to listen. "I really like Craig," she said.
"And I believe he equally really likes you."
"You don't mind, do you? I mean, I know you're involved with someone else anyway, but … well … do you mind?"
I turned on the light beside my bed and looked at her. "Andrea, it makes me happy to see Craig looking so happy. And you’re the person putting the smile on his face so why would I mind?"
She smiled back. "You know, he's the first guy I've met who hasn't tried to make me sleep with him before I want to." She paused for a moment and I smiled. "It makes me feel special, you know?"
I nodded. "You are special, Andrea. And of course Craig sees that."
She looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. "You're really nice to talk to. I see why you and Craig are such good friends. I'm glad I'm part of your band." I smiled and thanked her before she said, "Goodnight."
Chapter 15
The countdown was on. Three nights to go … two nights to go … and then finally we were on our final concert. By now our songs had been heard over and over everywhere, and to have the entire audience singing along with us was the greatest finale we could have had.
When we awoke the next day we took our time getting up. Ahead of us was three relaxing days of driving to get us home.
Just as we got the bus packed, our sponsor rang. "I've booked you guys on the 4pm flight home. The driver will drive your gear down, okay?" I relayed the message to the guys, who looked doubtful about the gear travelling without us. As if he knew our fear, the voice at the other end of the telephone said, "Don't worry, all of the equipment is insured in case something does happen - but I have no doubt it will get here in one piece anyway."
So we decided to do what he said. I could see Greg's nervousness and understood why - drums were personally tuned and he would lose more than money if something happened. "Your babies are going to be okay, Greg," I said, trying to get him smiling.
When we touched down in Dunedin, we all headed in different directions. Before I stepped into a taxi I noticed Craig kissing Andrea before she got in hers with the guys. Wow, I thought, Craig really is a gentleman. How many guys would have wanted to get a woman straight to his house and straight to his bed? What a nice guy my best friend was. I laughed at myself - their sex life wasn't any business of mine anyway. Was there a little jealousy surfacing? I quickly discarded the idea and gave the taxi driver my address.
After a shower and quick talk to Sally and Tina I jumped into bed and awoke late the next day, grateful that I didn't have to return to work for another three days.
Now a question hung over my head - did I want to marry Steven? Before I could think too much about it, the phone rang. It was Andrea. "Debbie, the record company would like us to go down as soon as possible to record our album. Our gear hasn't arrived back yet but they have equipment there we can use. What do you think?"
"Andrea, I can do it if we have to - but can you guys use different gear?"
"Well if we go down today we can work on it and see how we go. Can you make it?" she asked and I said I'd be there.
I never dreamed it would be hard to record an album of our own songs but the one whole day turned into two, then three. Finally the manager was impressed and told us 'thanks' as he handed each of a cheque. My eyes bulged when I saw it, and looking around I wasn't the only one impressed. "We will keep you up to date on record sales and send you profit cheques as they come." Andrea came forward and said she'd like to get a full rundown of our directions from here, and Craig and I left her to it.
"Do you want to go and grab some dinner, Debs?" Craig asked in the car and I nodded.
"Yes! I'm starving! I never thought doing what I love would take so much out of me." Craig agreed with me.
When we finished eating I realised we had no break at all before doing back to work. "I had planned on three days with Steven." Again Craig asked about Steven and me. "I haven't even phoned him since I got back, Craig. And if I don't have any early night tonight I'll be a wreck all week at work."
He nodded. "Yeah, Andrea and I haven't spoken to each other socially since we got back either."
I looked at him seriously. "Maybe you should have taken her out to dinner instead of me, Craig."
He smiled at me. "I thought about that but then I realised that between you being on the verge of prospective marriage, and me finding someone new to love, how much time are you and I going to have to spend together after tonight?" I saw his point but the word caught me.
"So, do you love Andrea then?" I smiled at him.
He blushed. "I don't know. It's a bit soon to feel like that, isn't it. It's not like what I feel for you, yet it's exciting, you know? But I don't know how she feels so I don't want to get too close. I don't want to hurt … I don't want to hurt like I did when you left that day…"
Neither of us spoke - for a while there was complete silence. A silence of two people with visions so clear in each of their minds.
"Hey, let's go, huh?" I said, breaking us out of faraway thoughts. He agreed and we drove to my flat.
As I went to climb out of the car he called to me. "What is your answer going to be for Steven?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, but you'll be one of the first, if not the first, to know! Bye."
Walking inside I was exhausted but knew I owed Steven at least a phone call. Dialling the number, my hands shook. His mother answered, "Yes Debbie, just one moment."
"Debbie?" Steven asked and I shook still. "I was worried. Weren't you due back last night?"
"Actually we flew back Thursday and have been in the recording studio ever since." Silence. "Steven, I'm really in need of a good night's sleep for work tomorrow, but would you like to come over tomorrow night so we can talk?"
"Okay," was all he said. I felt relieved.
"I really can't wait to see you, Steven," I said and when I jumped into bed I realised just how true those words were.
Chapter 16
"Come in," I called when the knock came on my door the next evening.
The sight of Steven took my breath away and without any words we went to my bed and made love eagerly. As I lay on top of him, trying to get my breath, I raised my head to look into his eyes. He was looking at me and seemed about to cry. I kissed him and for a long while he held me tight and returned my kisses. Then he ran his fingers across my cheek and through my hair. "I never forget your beauty - but it still overwhelms me that we're together and you're not with someone else."
I took his hand in mine and held it close to me. "I love you. No-one else."
"Then marry me." There - he'd put the words down.
For a short time we were speechless again as he waited for me to give my response, and I considered all the reasons I could to marry Steven, or not marry him.
"Steven, I would love to marry you. I would be proud to be your wife, but I can't say when …"
He interrupted me. "I'm not asking when - right now I just want to know if."
So many thoughts passed thro
ugh my mind then, with extreme speed - the wonderful things I could see about marrying Steven; the uncertainties about getting married at all; and whether, when assessing things to make a decision, I was truly thinking it out with full honesty.
"Yes," I breathed out as a sigh. "Yes, I will marry you."
"When?" he asked playfully and I softly kissed him as we both laughed quietly. "I'm just kidding. We have all the time in the world to decide for a right time - my beautiful bride to be."
One kiss was all it took for Steven to show me again how much he loved me, and would love me for our future together.
Chapter 17
My plans for Craig being one of the first people to know my decision were quickly shattered as Steven made announcements to his parents and my flatmates. When I sat at my desk at work the following morning, I dialled the number slowly.
Hearing Craig's voice on the other end of the line made me feel nervous, like this was the moment it really sunk in, what I had just committed myself to.
"Hi Craig," I said quietly and there was silence.
Finally he spoke. "You've said yes?" he asked and I acknowledged. "Are you really sure this is what you want?" Again, after a deep breath, I answered. "Well, congratulations then. I wish you and Steven a great future together."
Craig's voice finally sounded confident and enthusiastic and I smiled at him, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Are you going to have a party to celebrate? Have you set a date?"
Before he could throw any more questions at me, I cut him off, laughing.
"No, we haven't started planning yet. When plans are being made, I'll let you know, okay?"
He playfully responded, "Oh alright!"
He changed the subject. "Did Andrea phone you about gigs?" I explained she hadn't. "Well, our local has asked us to return there and they'll pay more than before we left. Or else there are a couple of clubs around town who have offered a little bit more again. What do you think?"
Total Freedom (Total Freedom Series Book 1) Page 10