“Em…? Ember…!” He turned in disbelief as I called out his name and flung myself into his arms. “Why the hell did you come back… you shouldn’t be here…”
“No one’s left in the valley,” I said breathlessly, burrowing into his warmth and the safety of his arms. “Everyone’s out and they’re safe… I couldn’t leave without telling you…”
One of the crew interrupted. “That’s it,” he said, “com’s down and the whole fucking gorge is an inferno. It’s moving faster than any fire in history… It’s gotta be 1500 degrees…”
The man looked at Jason hard… and at me…
“Right,” Jason answered. “I told Frank to do what he could…” His tone was dark, his words clipped. “It’s all about wind speed now… Take every man we’ve got and pull down whatever you can.” He tipped his head toward the nearest grove of trees and the man disappeared with only a nod. Then he turned back to me.
“Daybreak’s gonna pick the winds up, babygirl,” he said. “I need you to take Reilly and get the hell out of here…”
“And I need to tell you something first,” I shot back, fearless now. “You’re doing what you’re compelled to do… so am I. I came back to tell you I’m pregnant, Jason. I don’t give a shit if this is the wrong place, or the wrong time. This is the only time we have. Maybe it’s the only time we’ll ever have. If this job is who you are, then with you is where I belong. I’m not afraid anymore…”
He wrapped his arms around me, kissing me with hunger, tenderness and fury. I could feel his heart pounding underneath his thick, heavy jacket… or maybe it was my own…
“God, I love you, Em. My beautiful, beautiful babygirl…” He dipped his head and kissed me again, desire radiating off him like heat. It was only a moment, but it felt like it lasted forever. Like the future we planned, like a lifetime together. “I love you more than my life, Em… But you have to go, especially now. You… both of you have to be safe.”
He whistled for Reilly as he bustled me back toward the truck. Rye stood on a rocky projection near the exit of the gorge, stock still, listening without responding. Jason put me into the cab with a tenderness that almost broke my heart. We didn’t have minutes to say goodbye. We had seconds.
“We’ll meet at the cabin..? We can tell Randy together.”
He gripped my hands in his and kissed me again. “I’ll see you there… just go, please.” He whistled for Reilly again.
“When he won’t come…” I said, “something isn’t right…” I took Jason’s arm and climbed back out, calling for the dog with a growing sense of urgency. Rye was my first baby. I wouldn’t leave him… I couldn’t.
We watched as he lifted his huge nose to the sky and let out a bone-chilling howl. The sound was primal and terrifying and it echoed all around us. He came flying towards us, but smoke was pouring out of the gorge, tendril-like fingers reaching closer.
I looked into Jason’s face and felt something catch in my chest. “Tell me what’s wrong…” I said slowly, bracing myself for what I already seemed to know.
“It’s Randy,” Jason said finally, tightening his arms around me to keep me from collapsing. “He stayed behind to make sure everyone else made it onto the chopper for transport. Communications crashed and we’re not sure what happened on the other side of the ridge…”
“He’s gone…” I said faintly, feeling my knees start to buckle.
I felt Jason’s arms tighten and my feet lift off the ground, his voice filling my ears… “We don’t know that for sure, Em…
“But he’s missing.”
35
Jason
When I felt Ember go limp in my arms, I knew.
I had to get her to safety, even if it meant letting the entire range and valley burn to blackened ashes. I’d find Randy if it was the last thing I did. But Ember came first. Ember and our baby.
“Ground to Air Seven, repeat, ground to Air Seven.” I released the button, praying for a reply, but only getting static. I hit the gas harder and kept one arm around Ember. She sat beside me, her head lolling against my shoulder. She was awake now, but she was shocky and I didn’t like her color. “Ground to fucking Air,” I repeated, “goddammit, answer me. This is crew command…”
“...Air Seven to ground, go ahead.”
A wave of relief washed over me. “Is everyone else on the east side of the ridge?”
“All but the two unaccounted for,” Frank’s reply came back. “Carl… and Randy. We’re still searching.”
I swallowed hard, hating the words before they left my mouth, but knowing there wasn’t any other choice. “Take ten more minutes… and then meet me where Cradle Creek widens out toward Copperton,” I said fast. “There’s a cabin with a clearing on the north side where you can put down. I’ve got a head start, so I’ll be waiting. I need you to pick me up and fly me back up the front line. The only way to find them now is go in on foot. And I’m going in.”
“Copy that, Jason. Air Seven out…”
We’d torn up the road, racing precious time to reach the cabin.
Now I sat with her on the porch, cradling her against my chest, as if we had all the time in the world. All I could do was wait for the helicopter. Reilly paced, lifting up his head to let out a plaintive howl.
A few boxes sat near the front door; deliveries… for our wedding…
“The last thing in hell I want is to leave you, Em,” I said, picking her up in my arms and cradling her in my lap. “Christ, it’s tearing me apart. But I can’t send someone else into that fire. Randy’s my friend, my responsibility. And I know better than anyone how his mind works when he’s on the job. That gives me the best chance of finding him.”
“I know,” she nodded. “And it’s safer for everyone if I stay behind,” Ember said, looking trustingly up into my eyes. “He’s my brother, Jason. My only brother…”
I took her lovely pale face in my hands and kissed her, but without any sense of desperation now. It felt like there was no past anymore… and maybe not even the same future we’d imagined for so long. She sat on my lap like she had a hundred times, on the old porch swing. I rocked her like a child, the preciousness of this moment striking and sharp. She was so delicate, and yet so incredibly strong.
“I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know,” I said, looking deeply into her eyes. “I want to make promises, but…”
“I know,” she said softly. “I know.” She reached up and traced a finger down my gritty jaw and it felt like my heart ripped in two. “You’ll do everything you can… and you’ll put yourself in danger,” she said, resignedly. “It’s what we do, when we love someone.” She smiled at me with a tenderness that was almost unbearable. “I love you, Jason. And I understand…”
I took her then, possessing her mouth, reaching for whatever softness I could find. I cursed the clothes that separated us, but crushed her to me, willing the depths of my love to fill her heart… until I could fill her body with my aching hardness again. I let my hands explore her face, her hair… the slenderness of her waist and the full, rich curves of her hips. Never in my life had I wanted her more, to possess every sweet inch of her body and soul. But I could hear the sound of the helicopter in the distance. I had a job to do. And she and our baby had to be safe, no matter the outcome.
“Take the truck into town,” I said. “You’ve got time to take a few things from the house… just in case…” I didn’t bother to finish. She was reading the look on my face. “Don’t take too long, babygirl. For my sake… and for his…” I caressed her flat little tummy and closed my eyes, imagining him moving, growing round inside her. How beautiful, how incredibly sexy Ember would be. And for a second, I could almost picture my son’s tiny face on the day he was born. Would he have her brilliant hair?
“Promise me.”
“I do,” she answered. “I love you, Jason. Now, always.” She smiled up at me bravely, her jaw set, but I could see her eyes glistening brightly. “The sooner you go, the
sooner you come back.”
We were in the air, halfway back to the gorge when the winds shifted, intensified. I’d flown a hundred times, in some of the worst conditions imaginable, but something was different this time. The chopper buffeted, its tail swinging violently behind us as it suddenly dropped in altitude. Frank had the stick gripped tightly in both hands. In the distance, through the smoke, we could see the fire burning high. It was taking the canopy and moving fast.
“Drop me here and I’ll go in on foot,” I shouted. I put on my respirator and motioned toward the ground. “Fly around that column of smoke and you might be able to come around from the back side. But if the wind speed increases, you get the hell out… You hear me? Right now, we can’t beat this thing from the air…”
Frank gave a single, short nod in response and set us down. I climbed out, heaving my pack over my shoulder. “Radio the crew. I want that east grove leveled. It’s the best chance we’ve got left to protect as many cabins as possible.”
“And you?” Frank shouted over the roar of the blades overhead.
“Back into the furnace,” I yelled. “Two of my men are still out there…
36
Ember
Reilly wouldn’t come inside the cabin. He was pacing and scratching outside, whining at the haze that was filling the cold valley floor. So I went in alone. I needed to hurry, I’d promised Jason.
But time seemed to move in slow motion as I wandered through the living room toward the stairs. How many times had I held the old wooden handrail as I’d gone up to bed? I could still remember having to reach up for it when I was a little girl…
Like shapes in the clouds on a summer day, images formed before me only to dissolve away again to nothingness; Randy and I when we were little, waiting on the stairs Christmas morning… Mom smiling in the doorway when Daddy came home… the way they would argue sometimes. And the way he would pick her up off her feet whenever he kissed her…
The cabin had held my whole life. And I always thought it would hold my future, too. All my dreams of marriage and family were centered in this place, they always had been. Simple whitewashed walls and an old wooden roof… but they’d offered so much love and so much safety. Daddy’s books still sat on the shelves… my grandma’s pewter teapot where it had been for decades. It was a houseful of belongings, not mere things. Each one tied me to this place… so familiar, so precious. How could I choose one memory from another? To save one meant to leave another one behind. They all belonged here, just the way I always had.
“This was our second chance,” I said softly, trying to commit every detail of the cabin to memory. “I wanted everything to be so perfect. This place was going to be home forever… we were going to get married and have our babies here.”
With one hand on my belly, I went from room to room. The scratches on the plank floor where Randy had dropped his skates… the curtains I’d made for Mom’s birthday… the bedroom mantle where Daddy had carved his name along with Mom’s on their very last anniversary…
I knew I should be trying to save whatever I could carry; documents… jewelry… papers. But everything was just as Jason and I had left it. The house looked like it was waiting to be lived in again; for us to come back and pick up where we’d left off. Coffee cups sat on the hall table waiting to be washed. A paperback book sat in the bathroom, it’s spine bent and pages spread. I stopped in the bedroom doorway, leaning against the frame and looked in. We hadn’t made the bed, and the rumpled sheets lay waiting to be slept in. Jason’s pillow still held the shape of his head. I closed my eyes and touched it, letting my hand rest there for a moment. All I’d ever wanted was for him to be safe… and now he was facing the greatest danger of his life. A gust of icy wind howled outside.
Jason’s shirt was where we’d left it, on the end of the bed, our bed. I remembered unbuttoning it and reaching inside. It had been warm from his body… I picked it up, the fabric cold now, and put it to my nose. I closed my eyes and inhaled, letting his scent give me courage. Without thinking, I carried it with me down the stairs.
My old typewriter waited on the desk, surrounded by the crumpled remains of the last three years’ work. I pushed it all aside and picked up my camera instead, and stuffed it in my pocket. I was breathless, overwhelmed by the boxes and bags that filled the living room; the things we’d bought for the wedding, for our future. I let my eyes linger on my beautiful dress, ready and waiting for the big day… carefully draped over the chair in its white silk bag…
And Jason was out there, risking everything to save this valley, to save homes just like this one, filled with love and life and memories that couldn’t be replaced. He was risking it all to protect me and our child, and to find my brother and bring him home. I wrapped my arms around myself, praying silently for them to be safe. Everything inside me wanted to be out there, searching too. But it wasn’t a chance I could take, not with our son or daughter growing inside me…
I had to trust Jason to do what he was trained to do. And it was my job now to keep his baby safe.
I heard Reilly’s howl, shrill and heart-stopping in the distance and I ran toward the truck, leaving everything behind…
The door wide open in my wake.
37
Jason
A sudden gust carried a shower of embers overhead, through the smoky sky. While some would die on the wind, others were already landing throughout the valley, already sparking new fires in the tall, dry grass. Behind me, the Hanson place was a blackened shell. Only the brick chimney stood like a headstone, marking its place. It was gone, and we’d lose more before this was over. The fire was moving like lightning through the treetops and my men were exhausted. Success or failure depended on the wind now, and on the last remaining measure of effort my crew had to give. I dumped all but the most essential gear from my pack, lightening my load.
My job was to skirt the hotspots and weave my way back into the burned-out gorge. The worst of the fire had already raged through, devouring whatever it could and leaving a swath of smoking destruction behind. The ground was red hot, thick with glowing coals. Trees stood with their trunks still smoldering. And as long as there was anything left to burn, the fire would wait, lurking in the cinders, waiting to flare up again. I gripped the straps on my pack, and moved in at a run. Snapshots of the past flickered behind my eyes; of all the years Randy and I had trained together, dinners around the kitchen table… the first time I’d taken Ember in my arms and seen desire burning in her eyes…
“Randy!... Carl…!” I called out, knowing that time was running out. I picked up my pace, my legs moving like pistons, carrying me on… driving me forward. My empty stomach churned as I swallowed soot in the back of my throat. My eyes burned, and the muscles in my strained back felt like they were tearing with every jolt. But it only drove me on. I ran faster, pushing deeper, knowing that if they were even still alive, smoke, heat and dehydration could overcome an exhausted or injured man faster than the fire itself. I shifted the weight of the water and oxygen tanks I carried and reached down deep for the strength to go on, praying they had managed to survive. Heat radiated from the scorched earth all around me, driven by the wind like a torch. I put my head down, bracing against it and forced myself onward. I called out again, praying to god I would find them.
And find them alive.
I was a quarter of a mile in when I saw them, huddled down, one body curled over the other. The sight stopped me dead in my tracks as the wind suddenly stilled around me…
I stood, my chest heaving painfully, unable to move and listening to nothing but the harsh sound of air in my lungs.
The world seemed to be holding its breath…
And slow, gentle embers drifted softly, silently from the tops of the trees, swirling like fireflies.
I flashed to Em’s face… and having to tell her that her brother was gone. It was impossible, surreal, my worst nightmare…
“Randy!” I used the last breath I had to call out, racing, st
umbling over the rocky terrain. I fell to my knees beside them as Randy lifted up his face. My heart was racing in my chest, pounding painfully against my ribs. He was alive… Jesus Christ, he was still alive…
“God, Jace…” he said, “I fucking tried to get Carl out… When he couldn’t walk anymore, I carried him… But I went down and I couldn’t…”
I rolled Carl’s body off Randy’s back and looked into his ashen face. A cruel burn puckered and blackened one whole side, his eyes were glassy. I jerked the oxygen tank from my pack and put the mask over Carl’s face, buying us time. His pulse was weak, his breathing shallow. I gripped Randy by the shoulders, steadying him. “He’s alive, but just barely.” I dug my fingers into his arm. “Are you all right… can you walk?”
He nodded, taking my outstretched hand and I pulled him to his feet. “Then get out,” I ordered. “Now. As fast as you can.” I reached down and pulled Carl’s limp arm over my shoulder, using the strength in my legs to haul his body across my back. If he was going to die, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be here. He had a wife and kids at home…
“Go,” I yelled as a charred pine cracked and came crashing down, the sound splitting the air.
“I’m right behind you.”
I taped the back of Carl’s hand where I’d inserted the needle, and adjusted the flow of saline. He was still unconscious, but his color was better. The chopper was just putting down to airvac him out.
“You too,” I said to Randy, jerking my head toward the helicopter. “Your leg needs attention.”
“It’s bruised,” he replied, wrapping it with thick elastic bandaging. “But I’ll live.” We exchanged a meaningful look. “And this isn’t the best time for you to be a man down…”
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