"St. Thomas," I ordered. "I want us there in fucking less than an hour." I shoved the phone in my pocket. "Let me take her, Libby," I said reaching out. "You should stay here and try to get some sleep. There's a vet clinic on St. Thomas, and I promise I'll let you know as soon as do."
"No, Jack," the words came out clipped. "I'm going too. There's no way I'm leaving her…" She held the puppy closer. "She needs me… I can't let her go without me…"
Her eyes pleaded as she held Moki tighter. "I need to be with her."
"Then get dressed. And I want you to eat something before the chopper gets here. We have a few minutes left…" I stroked the side of her face. "It'll be alright, sweetheart. I promise you. I'm not going to let anything happen to either one of you."
"It's a good thing you got her here when you did." The vet ran a hand through his grey hair. "I'd say she got into some kind of plant. It can cause some pretty serious gastritis in such a young dog. But she's not in any danger now and she's resting comfortably. We'll get her rehydrated, and if all goes well overnight, I think she can go home in the morning."
I felt Libby's body sag in relief against mine and I wrapped my arms around her. She'd spent the last two hours pacing, resting only when I made her sit beside me. I shook the man's hand and led Libby over to a loveseat in the corner.
"We should find a hotel and get some rest, sweetheart." I stroked her back with my hand, long, soothing strokes. "Moki needs her sleep, and so do you… There isn't anything else we can do here."
"I was so afraid… She's just so little and so helpless…" The tears Libby was holding back started to flow. "I couldn't bear it, if anything happened to her. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry, but I can't leave. Even if she's sleeping… even if she's going to be fine now." A huge sob shook her shoulders as all the stress she'd been holding in started to let go. "You can go if you need to, but I won't leave Moki here all alone."
I held her as she let it all go and I wiped her tears, patting her back as if she were a child. My heart swelled with love for her, this kind and precious woman. There was so much I was aching inside to say to her, but I was quiet and just held her until her body finally relaxed and she was spent.
Once Libby was calm and had sipped the water I'd given her, I left her for a moment to speak with the receptionist. Maybe it was the generous donation check I dropped into the collection box, but five minutes later I had what I wanted, and headed back to collect my sweetheart.
I gathered her into my arms and kissed her forehead. Then I slipped down to take a quick, sweet taste of her salty, swollen lips. "So… I'll see you in the morning?" Her voice was unsure. I smiled, sinking into her eyes.
"No, sweetheart. They have an empty office here we can use for the night." I kissed her again, unable to stop myself.
"I know you can't leave her alone tonight. So if you're staying… then so am I."
30
Libby
I slept fitfully alongside Jack on the narrow sofa. Every few hours I would venture out to ask how Moki was. And Jack would follow me. Once, they let us go in to see for ourselves that she was just fine. She was sleeping soundly in her crate, nestled into a thick blanket and snoring contentedly.
Jack and I headed back to our little office and sat side by side, my head on his shoulder, his head resting easily on mine. "It'll be morning in a few more hours," he said. "Do you think you can sleep? You should try…"
I yawned and snuggled closer to his warmth. "Thank you," I said. "For taking care of Moki… for taking care of me too… For staying here with both of us."
"It's what you do for the… It's what you do," he answered back. His hand was working its magic along my spine and I could feel my body finally giving in to its need for sleep. His voice was deep and soothing, so close to my ear. I felt myself falling to sleep as he spoke to me...
"We'll get a room nearby in the morning, sweetheart. Where we can shower and I can feed you properly. You can get the sleep you and the baby need, and I can come back for Moki when they're ready to release her." His hand kept moving. So, so slowly… "We can be back on the island by dinnertime, back home and everything will be just fine. I promise you, sweetheart… I'll always be here to keep you and the baby safe…"
I woke from a deep sleep, my head was heavy and my thoughts were so jumbled… Then I felt Moki's cold nose bumping against my face and it all started coming back.
I sat up in the silky white sheets and listened to the shower running. Jack's clothes from the night before were casually draped over the back of a chair. Leave it to him, to find a five-star hotel room on the fly and convince them to allow a puppy to share the room. But then why not, when he had a helicopter at his beck and call…
I turned and looked at the clock. He'd let me sleep until three in the afternoon? I ran my hand over the pillow beside mine. It still held the warm shape of his head. I fell back, letting Moki curl against my side. I was so incredibly grateful she was okay, but there was a gnawing feeling in my belly. So much had happened and the moment had never come for me to tell Jack about the test I'd taken. It felt wrong to keep it to myself any longer. Wrong not to have told him right away. But deep down, I was still holding on to the chance I could still be pregnant. That I'd just taken the test a little too early.
I stroked the puppy's silky ear. One had the tendency to flop down lower than the other, giving her a curious look. She rested her chin on my belly and it rumbled.
I knew we'd head back to our island by tonight. And I knew that Jack was waiting on some important papers about the Warner deal to be faxed over. My stomach rumbled uneasily again. Maybe, in a few more days, I could take another test… Even if I still wasn't pregnant, it didn't mean it couldn't work on the next try…
The sound of the water stopped and I heard Jack moving around in the bathroom. Moki lifted her head and turned expectantly. All the while my heart was beating faster and faster as I tried to push away the new and nagging fear in the back of my mind…
"My two best girls!" Jack burst through the door, a towel slung carelessly around his hips, rubbing at his hair with another. He came over to caress my hair. "Did you finally sleep? I hope you're hungry… I ordered room service before I got in the shower. The pancakes you asked for, a long time ago." He smiled and I felt my heart turn over.
"I'll keep an eye on her, if you want the shower before the food arrives." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're beautiful this morning," he said softly, holding my gaze.
"I… I'm… hungry," I stammered. His eyes moved slowly down my body. The white shirt I was wearing didn't leave much to the imagination. I hadn't taken the time to put on a bra… "Pancakes are good. Pancakes are great," I shifted and slipped out of bed. "I won't be long."
I didn't trust myself to watch him slip out of that towel. As it was, it was dangerously close to coming loose. He had droplets of water on his chest that I ached to lick up. All his kindness, his supportiveness had intensified every feeling I already had for him. I was hungry. But it was a hunger that food would never satisfy. I felt not only like my body was empty, needful, but that some greater, deeper place inside me was too. I felt like I'd been hungry all my life and was only just beginning to understand what that feeling meant…
I headed for the bathroom and closed the door tight. I could hear his gentle voice as he talked to Moki, I could imagine his hands on her little head. For just a second, I felt a flash of envy. That he loved Moki only for her for herself. That he loved the child who hadn't even been born yet, more than anything. I knew he cared for me too. But it was because I was going to give him a child. And he'd do anything to achieve that end.
I stepped into the flood of water and all the thoughts and feelings I'd been holding back let loose. That I had fallen for a man who only wanted me for one thing. A man I could never have any kind of future with. For god's sake, the end of us was already carved in stone…
I leaned against the cold shower wall and the fear washed over me. The thing I'd known
deep down from the start, but hadn't mattered until now…
That if I failed to conceive, he was free to end our agreement at any time. It was a baby he wanted, after all. Not me.
And if I couldn't give him what he needed, there was nothing to stop him, from letting me go. And replacing me with a different surrogate.
Another woman. One who could make his dreams come true.
31
Jack
By Tuesday we were back on the island. The good news was that Mokita was back to her old self, full of energy and curiosity. Libby and I shared duties, feeding her, taking her outside to play… and keeping vigilant watch on her at all times. We would rest when she did, all of us collapsing into Libby's bed in the afternoons. Although I hadn't expected it, having the puppy's constant needs to focus on, made it somewhat easier for Libby and I to ignore the powerful attraction between us. We lavished all our affection on Moki instead, and while the puppy basked in the attention, Libby and I kept a friendly distance between us.
The bad news was that the papers Spencer had promised me on Monday, still hadn't arrived. He and Blake reassured me they'd be faxed over before the end of the business day. And while my brother was plenty distracted by his brand-new engagement to Janet, I had complete confidence in them both. Still, I wanted it fucking done. In the old days, I'd have flown back and closed the deal myself. But I was enjoying living like a family man. Even if it wasn't the real thing. Even if it was just a different kind of business deal…
With the merger set to wrap up tonight, I'd made the decision. That the timing would be perfect, to confirm the other deal as well. We'd waited long enough and I was more than ready to know for sure. I wanted Libby to take the test in the morning, and I'd planned for us to take a long hike around the island to bring up the suggestion. The man who had given us Moki in the first place had agreed to watch over her, and I was damned excited at the idea of having Libby, finally, all to myself. She was waiting for me in the foyer, dressed in a pink tank and chocolate brown shorts. My hands itched to peel the thin straps off her shoulders… Instead, I handed her one of the water bottles.
"Here," I said, tucking a wide brimmed hat over her curls. She looked up at me from under the edge. Faint dark smudges showed under her eyes, but they were wide and beautiful.
"There are flamingos in the shallow water near the cove," I told her, shrugging into the backpack that carried our lunch. "Tortoises too… and lemurs further inland." I took her hand. It felt so small in mine. "The island is small enough we can cover a lot in one day of easy walking." We headed out into a gentle breeze and a brilliantly blue sky. "I brought suits and towels...We can swim if you like."
We walked hand in hand, following the thin trail that lead to the cove. It wasn't far from the spot where I'd gone to swim alone that night. The night I'd admitted the truth of how I felt about Libby. It was the first time I'd said the words aloud. And it had been the last time…
"Oh… look…!" She let go of my hand and pointed just beyond the flowering shrubs. "There are so many…" The water was a swirl of bright pink as hundreds of flamingoes fed and preened in the shallows. "I've never seen anything so incredible, Jack."
"Come on." I took her hand, pleased with how excited she was. "They're fairly used to people. And we can swim right over there," I pointed. "And have lunch in the shade."
We headed down slowly. The path down was steep and I kept her safely behind me until we reached the sand. Her cheeks were pink with effort, her lips moist and parted. I put my hands around her waist and lifted her down over the last few rocks. The feeling of her hands against my chest made me hungry for her skin…
"God, it's so beautiful here…," she breathed. Together we looked out over the water. "I never thought these places were real, you know? Just photographs in magazines…"
"We can stay, until it's time for your first checkup. And even come back afterwards, if you'd like." I spread a huge blanket in the tiny clearing, sheltered all around by tall trees. Then I took our suits out of the pack and held hers out. She shook her head, not looking into my eyes. "Mine's on underneath," she said, as she unzipped her shorts. They dropped to her ankles and she kicked them aside. Then she peeled off the tank top. Just the way I had wanted to…
The suit she wore was all one piece, almost the same creamy color of her skin. Only a pale string of printed lilac flowers kept her from looking totally naked. They travelled from her shoulder across her breasts and down to her hip… Standing there, near the tropical blooms and with the blue water behind her, she could have been Eve... in the garden…
I tossed my trunks away with a smile and peeled off my shirt and shorts. The slim black briefs I wore were more than enough. I took her hand and we ran for the water together. Everything seemed perfect. And I suddenly felt happier than I could ever remember.
"Let me go…!" She laughed as I caught at her hips, pulling her against me. "I'm hungry and I want to see what's in that backpack…"
She was halfway back to the beach, but I held her tight. We'd played in the water like a couple of kids and I wasn't ready to let her go. "It's just cold chicken and lemonade," I coughed as she splashed water in my face. "It can wait… but so help me I don't think I can…"
She was breathless and laughing too as she struggled in my arms. For one more second, it was just innocent fun. But the feel of her breasts against my chest as she fought against me suddenly changed everything. I held her and she held me back. Our chests rose and fell together as we caught our breath. Her nipples were hard against me and there was no denying the hardness of my cock pressing into her belly.
"We were keeping it simple…," I breathed out. Her lips were so fucking close. "But we seem to keep finding ourselves here, wanting more…"
"Jack…" She started but didn't finish. I could see the same look in her eyes that had been there since Moki had gotten sick. Hesitant, troubled somehow. Even with the pleasure of the day, it was still there.
"You can tell me, you know. Anything that you need… anything I can do. I know you're still worried about the puppy, sweetheart. She's fine now, she really is. But maybe it's been too stressful, along with the pregnancy."
I watched her mouth open as she took in a breath. Then she pressed her lips together and frowned. "I love her, Jack. She'd never be too much, no matter what. I love… that you gave her to me."
"But there's still something wrong… I can see it… Are you feeling okay? What can I can do to help?" I tipped her face to mine. "There's nothing I wouldn't do…"
I watched her struggle a moment longer. I held her close and her hands were gripping my arms. "I just want to give you everything you deserve, Jack. You've already given me so much." She dipped her head. "I want you to have the family you've dreamed of. I want to give you that so much…" She looked up, her eyes moist. "You've become so important to me… as my friend. And that I want to give you everything you need, too…
Will you be with me, Jack? Just one more time… Not about the baby, and not about some contract between us…
But just because you want me… and because I want you too?"
32
Libby
I don't know what I'd have done if he'd pulled away. It had taken everything inside me to ask for what I needed. Thank god, I never had to find out. He was kissing me before I'd gotten all the words out.
"Fuck, sweetheart," he growled the words against my throat as he caught me up in his arms. The water roiled around us as he carried me back up the beach, to the clearing where we'd left our things. He put me on my feet in the middle of the blanket and stepped back, just enough to singe my whole body with the fire in his eyes. "You have no fucking idea how much I want you right now… how fucking bad I need to…"
He was streaming water. It ran from his hair, down his chest. The muscles at his waist turned it inward so that it drew my eyes to the huge bulge barely contained by his briefs. I started to reach for him, brazen with need… with hunger…
"No." He stopp
ed me with one word. I met his eyes and they were burning with the same desperation I felt. He smiled darkly, teasing me...daring me…
"Strip for me," he ordered. His voice was soft, but the tone left no room for argument. "You're fucking wet and I can see how much you want this. So strip off that soaking swimsuit and let me look at you."
I hesitated only at the change in him. That, and how this new side of him made me feel. I didn't think I could want this anymore than I already did. I was wrong.
"Slow, sweetheart. Turn your ass to me and take it off slowly… Just like that… Fuck, Libby, you're so fucking beautiful."
I bent forward, farther than I needed to and eased the fabric over the curve of my ass. Then I spread my feet apart and bent a little lower… I felt his huge warm hands warm on me, and for the first time in my life, I was grateful for my generous curves. He stroked my ass gently, reaching around to cup my breasts.
"I could touch you like this forever and never get enough," he growled. "I need your skin… the way you taste... "He turned me to face him. "Like this, under the sky, free and perfect. The way it should be. The way I always imagined it could be…"
I reached up to tangle my hands in his hair. His mouth was salty and delicious. I knew the rest of him would taste the same. And if this was the last time, I wanted to be able to remember… I reached to him, sliding my fingers under the elastic. He groaned as I bared him and took him in my hands.
"Lick me," he gasped out. I was already on my knees. "Oh, fuck, sweetheart…"
I ached to swallow him whole, but held back, licking the length of him with the very tip of my tongue. He was salty, slippery, the head of his cock dark and angry from having to wait. I slid my hands up the inside of his thighs and felt him swell in my mouth.
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