The Sexy & The Undead

by Charity Parkerson

  “I’m sorry, Tam,” Ella said when the guilt began to eat at her. She looked over at Samuel, expecting he would back her up again, but instead he gave her the what-you-gonna-do shrug. Men! She was on her own.

  “Look, I promise if this woman’s eye gets the least bit stinky, then I’ll high-tail it out of there, okay?”

  Staring down at her lime-green high-top Converse sneakers, Tam refused to meet her eyes, but she gave a tiny nod and Ella nearly groaned in relief. One obstacle down and one cheesy eye left to go.

  Ella never slept and that was the main reason Samuel allowed this crazy black magic witch-hunt to proceed. A huge part of him hated that she went to such extremes for another man, but neither could he let her go alone or stay away from her. “Deep in bayou country” turned out to be the last room inside of the Bayou Country Club, which would have been funny in itself to Samuel without adding in the actual Voodooist, who looked more like a sleazy car salesman than any magic man.

  Everything was white. The couch, the walls, chairs, and tables were all blinding in their cleanliness. At the center of it all, appearing as a slimy stain on an otherwise spotless handkerchief, was Pierre Lacombe, Voodooist extraordinaire.

  The man possessed all of four brown hairs in the front of his head that he used to cover the pale bald spot at the back. This feat obviously needed a ton of oil to accomplish, a fact that seemed to hold Ella mesmerized as they took the seats offered to them after a rather lengthy introduction that was uncomfortable at the very least.

  Whereas they both had been expecting chicken bones, burning incense, and even a possible club-foot-curse, what they got were some hot wings, cigar smoke, and Ella’s ass grabbed.

  That final thing alone was a killing offense in Samuel’s eyes, but the greasy-haired man who wore too many gold chains held onto his life by his immediate prophecy.

  “You must spend a night in the woods and become one with the dark,” he told Ella between gnawing on the red-coated chicken parts and them settling into their chairs. “Only that which is created from obscurity can give you what you seek,” he added.

  “Any particular spot in the woods?” Ella asked the four hairs.

  Wiping his hot-sauced fingers on the front of his shirt, Pierre pulled an ink pen from his pocket. Jotting an address on his napkin, he handed it to Ella. Pinching the slightly rumpled and stained paper towel between her thumb and forefinger, Ella reluctantly accepted.

  “Um, thank you.”

  “What is the price of your time?” Samuel asked, holding the man’s beady brown gaze.

  As he feared, Pierre’s rat-like features became calculating at his question. Samuel knew he should not have let the ass grab go.

  Narrowing his eyes, he allowed a hint of the rage that always boiled just under his surface to show in his stare. Samuel had killed many beings since the creation of time and today would be no different for Pierre if he did not choose his words wisely.

  Showing a hint of good sense, Pierre waved off the question and lifted another wing from his plate. “For a woman as lovely as yours, and because Randall is my friend, this advice is on the house.”

  Another checkmark against Randall as far as Samuel was concerned.

  “Oh, thank you,” Ella cried. “However, I insist that you accept something.”

  Samuel bit back a groan.

  Flashing a triumphant smile, Pierre drawled, “Well, there is one thing.”

  Under the table, Samuel tapped the heel of his boot against the floor, causing a blade to slide out at the toe. Lifting his foot, he pressed the point against the man’s groin. Pierre’s eyes widened and Samuel silently dared him to continue.

  “You can tell Randall that I send him good wishes,” he finished quickly, and Samuel dropped his foot to the floor, popping the blade back in place.

  Seemingly oblivious to the exchange that was taking place just out of sight, Ella smiled brightly. “I will do that,” she promised. “And thank you again. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your help.”

  Wiping the sweat from his brow with his sleeve, Pierre accepted her show of gratitude while rushing them on their way.

  As soon as they hit fresh air, Ella sucked in a deep cleansing breath as if attempting to expel the disgusting man from her lungs.

  “Lucky thing you threatened to castrate him,” she said, taking him by surprise. “Otherwise, he might have expected me to flash him my boobs.”

  Samuel threw back his head and roared with laughter. Nothing ever escaped her notice, and it was one of the many things that he loved about her. She was extremely observant.

  ***

  Having never been camping before, Ella decided that renting the needed equipment would be her best bet, especially since she possessed zero desire to repeat the experience. Samuel argued vehemently against it, believing that they could simply sleep beneath the stars.

  Ella wanted a barrier between herself, the bugs, and the snakes that were prominent in the area.

  “I will keep you safe,” was Samuel’s only response when she voiced her concerns, and funnily enough that was all the reassurance she needed. In the end, she relented. Unfortunately, she wasn’t any closer to finding the answers needed for Freddie.

  Darkness falls late in the south during the warmest months, and Ella thought she would crumble under the pressure of waiting for its arrival.

  Switching her attention between her notes and the plant life surrounding them, Ella asked, “What do you think Pierre meant by becoming one with the night?”

  A wicked smile touched Samuel’s lips before he attempted to hide it. However, it was too late. She glanced in his direction, catching sight of it before he could mask his reaction.

  Sitting side by side on the blanket that Samuel spread out for them beneath the stars, Ella bumped him with her knee.

  “What is it?”

  Samuel shrugged at her question, and instead of answering, he asked, “Do you know why there is a night and a day?”

  “Because the Earth rotates,” she began before he cut her words off with an annoyed look.

  “You know there is more than one realm and more than one plane of existence. Yet, it is the same on every one.”

  She realized he was right. “I never really thought about it,” she admitted.

  “The light is for guidance and transcendence,” he explained. “But the dark is for protection and passion.”

  Her mouth formed an “O” as she caught his meaning, but she still couldn’t understand the location.

  “Why this place, though? I mean, is Pierre hiding in the bushes and watching us?” Her eyes shot to the nearby tree line at the thought. She didn’t put it past the slimy pervert.

  “We are completely alone,” Samuel reassured as he tugged the notebook from her hands and set it aside.

  Her shoulders relaxed and her eyes fell closed as his lips touched the side of her neck. There was no one she trusted more than him, and if Samuel said they were alone, then they were alone. One day, she knew that she would have to look closer at the reason why he was so high up in her books, but it wouldn’t be tonight.

  Cupping her breast, he rolled her hardened nipple between his fingers and she moaned at the pleasure that ran down her spine.

  “Tell me what grows around us,” he demanded as he removed her clothing, and kissed each spot as it appeared.

  Falling back onto the blanket, Ella attempted to focus on their surroundings while he set her body ablaze.

  “Carnations,” she began. “And clover.”

  “What else?” he asked as he peeled her panties down her hips.

  “Daffodils, daisies, dandelions, and dragon’s blood,” she trailed off in a haze.

  “Hickory,” he added before sealing his mouth over her core and delving his tongue inside.

  “Yes,” she cried. Gripping the blanket between her fingers, the stars blurred in the sky as Samuel teased her clit with his tongue. This was the perfect spot to become one with dark, she decided, befor
e her mind lost its ability to do anything other than feel.

  ***

  It hadn’t worked. That was the one thought that plagued Ella’s mind as she stared at the lines of Samuel’s sculpted and nude body. It had been seven solid days since their night under the stars, but Freddie was no closer to being human than before.

  The flat pads of Samuel’s chest were hard beneath her fingers and she marveled over the lines of his sleeping body. Every single muscle in his body seemed poised and ready for battle even as Dreamland invited him in. A fine sheen of sweat covered his skin and his already deliciously full lips were swollen from their kisses. His long hair clung to his face and neck. Her fingers itched to paint him just like this. He was such a hardened and secretive man. When they were apart, she marveled at how much of herself she shared with him while she knew next to nothing about him. However, when they were together, none of that mattered. Any doubts she experienced fell away with his first hot glance. With only one look, Ella could see how much he cared about her. His silvery eyes would focus on her and she knew in that moment that she was the most important thing to him. Samuel possessed some vital element…her mind trailed off. That was it. The potion she made that called to Samuel. Slipping from the bed, she dug around in her bedside table until she found Samuel’s potion, and then headed for the kitchen.

  The glow from a computer screen was the only light on in the house, but it was enough for Ella to see the entire living room. Tam was wearing a black leather bustier, a bright yellow skirt, coupled with black and yellow striped fingerless gloves. The entire outfit paired with her wings resembled a giant bumblebee. She was playing solitaire on Ella’s laptop while Freddie sat at her feet, gnawing on her ankle. They both seemed content at their choice of leisure and Ella hated to interrupt them. She tried sneaking past, but after only a few minutes of banging away in the kitchen, they joined her.

  ***

  The smoke pulled him from sleep. Rolling from the bed, Samuel landed lightly on the balls of his feet, prepared for a fight. Years of battle crowded his brain, and in one quick motion, he swept his plaid from the floor and wrapped a length of the material around his forearm to protect it from the blows. Reaching for his sword, he found it missing. That moment of confusion proved sufficient to slow his mind long enough for the room to come into focus. He was at Ella’s and no enemies were surrounding him. His nostrils stung from the stench in the air, reminding him of the reason for alarm. Following the smell, he ended up in the kitchen. Tam sat perched on the table that was used for meals while Freddie occupied a chair at her side. He spared them only a passing glance before focusing on Ella. Jealousy gnawed at his gut at the knowledge that she’d left his side to be with Freddie. It didn’t matter that Tam was present as well. She couldn’t stay away from her zombie man long enough to sleep one full night in his arms.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  He would have liked to think that he hadn’t meant the accusing note in his voice, but he had. Looking away from the black cauldron that sat boiling on the stovetop, she met his eyes only long enough to flash him a quick smile before returning to concentrate on the pot. She stirred the contents with a long wooden spoon.

  “I had an idea,” she answered with an absent tone.

  Her tiny blue shorts and spaghetti-strap shirt, which went far to showcase her gorgeous body, did nothing to cool his temper. She had left the bed where they made love in order to work on another fucking potion.

  Rolling his shoulders, he felt something pop, and he took a deep breath. Neither of those things did a thing to help. He was still pissed. He made a valiant attempt to keep his tone in check.

  “You left our bed.”

  “My bed, actually,” Ella said, sounding unconcerned.

  Reealllly. Wasn’t that a kick in the balls if he ever heard one? His eye twitched.

  “Oh dear,” Tam said. She, of all people, had known him long enough to recognize that the muscle flexing repeatedly in his jaw was not a good sign.

  At Tam’s words, Ella finally gave him her full attention.

  “You’re not wearing any clothes,” she observed.

  “I did not see the point in spending ten minutes rolling myself in plaid when you are coming back to bed.” He paused before adding, “Now.”

  Her eyebrows shot to her hairline at his words. “I am?”

  Striding the length of the room, he stood over her and crowded her with his body. “Yes. You are.”

  Reaching past her, he flipped the dial, cutting the heat off from the eye. Ella switched it back on.

  “What the hell is your problem?” Her aggravation showed in her voice, but he was past the point of caring. Switching off the eye once more, he grasped her by her shoulders and gently turned her away from the stove.

  “I want you to get some sleep.”

  “Pssh,” Ella said, waving off his words. “You want to have sex.”

  His blood began to boil hotter than the contents of her cauldron.

  “You are killing yourself,” he began, but her eyes flashed with anger, and she cut him off.

  “You’re ruining my potion all because you’re horny.”

  The light grip he had on her shoulders tightened unconsciously at her words and she flinched. “I am trying to take care of you, you little fool. Because I love you and obviously you need a keeper.”

  Coming up on her toes, Ella went nose to nose with him, or rather, nose to chest with him. “I’ll sleep when Freddie is well,” she shot back.

  Something inside of him snapped in the face of her resistance. His head turned slowly in Freddie’s direction. Finding a new target for his seething rage, he backed away from Ella.

  “It is you,” Samuel growled, advancing on Freddie. “You are the reason that Ella refuses to rest and allows herself nothing.”

  Ella attempted to snag his arm in order to halt his progress, but he simply slipped from her hold. There was no cooling his anger. It rose inside of him, threatening his sanity. Freddie whimpered in response, appearing every inch the trapped rat.

  “Please, don’t hurt him,” Ella begged. He knew that she would never forgive him if he snapped the zombie’s neck from his shoulders, but his temper demanded recompense. The only thing he had ever desired for himself was Ella and this thing stole her happiness and kept her heart otherwise engaged.

  “Please,” Ella repeated. “His skin is very fragile.”

  Hearing the tears in her voice, he conceded to one point. If she wanted this man, if her need to protect Freddie and have him back at her side as a human meant more to her than he did, then that’s what he would give to her, but Samuel would leave his mark. Reaching out, Samuel snagged Freddie by the throat, lifting him to his feet. With a tiny shake, Freddie transformed from zombie to human. Baring his teeth and showing the points that he usually kept hidden, Samuel growled, “There. Now, I can punch you in your face properly.”

  Rearing back, he did as promised, landing a solid blow to the center of Freddie’s face. He kept his strength in check, not wanting to hurt Ella by killing her pet. The satisfying crunch of breaking bone beneath his knuckles and the gush of blood that flowed over his hand assuaged a tiny bit of his need for retribution.

  Dropping Freddie to the floor at his feet, he stepped over the man’s prone body, and headed for the door. He was finished with this. He was done with coming in last and begging for love that he would never have. He was over it.

  Black wings unfurled from Samuel’s back as he strode toward the door. A few feathers floated to the floor in his wake as he disappeared into thin air. In her shock, Ella couldn’t move or speak as she absorbed what had happened.

  On his knees, Freddie was now human again. As soon as she could get her feet to move, Ella rushed to his side.

  “Oh my God,” Ella cried, brushing his shiny brown hair away from his gorgeous face. “It’s really you. You’re back. Oh, how I wish Samuel had spared your beautiful face, but I’m so damn happy to see you again.”


  She knew that she was rambling as she attempted to wipe Freddie’s blood away with her shirt. His hazel eyes watered and she didn’t know if it was from the pain of Samuel’s blow or if he was crying.

  Sitting on the edge of the kitchen table, Tam kicked her legs back and forth while blowing huge pink bubbles with her gum. Seeming almost bored by the show, a tiny wand with a huge, flat, and sparkling star at the tip appeared in her hand. With a solid thwack, she landed a blow in the center of Freddie’s forehead and he healed immediately, leaving behind no signs of Samuel’s attack. The wand disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

  “Oh, look, you’re a sexy fella.”

  Freddie slumped forward, wrapping his arms around Ella’s shoulders and hugging her tightly to his chest.

  “Thank you so much,” he told her quietly.

  Her shock began to fade as the feel of his body became a tangible thing surrounding her.

  “He fixed you. Just like that, Samuel fixed you, and you,” Ella added, pulling away from Freddie and focusing on Tam. “You could’ve have done so too, couldn’t you? Why didn’t you?”

  Tam shrugged. “You didn’t wish for it, did ya?” Her explanation ended on a squeal of surprise as Freddie snagged her by the front of her leather bustier and hauled her forward. Cutting off the sound, Freddie opened his mouth over hers, kissing Tam deeply. Ella felt her jaw drop as she watched Tam’s wings slowly flutter and they each fought to be closer to the other one.

  “Well,” Ella said, her voice sounding numb even to her own ears. “Well,” she repeated, attempting to tear her gaze away from the pair when it almost seemed voyeuristic to continue staring.

  All the time spent on a cure, all her hours of study, and just like that, it was over.

  She felt…empty.

  Her life revolved around Freddie, and never once had she stopped to consider what life would be like after the curse was broken. Her eyes fell closed as a terrible revelation slammed into her. Samuel said that he loved her and she had just lost the best thing that ever happened to her. For the first time in years, she thought only of herself and walked away from Freddie.