“Does it ever get easier?”
“What? Processing a vehicle? I can pretty much guarantee that it doesn't.” Her stepmother stared back. “But somehow I don't think that’s what you are talking about. Tell me, Kel.”
“Does knowing my father is in the building… I mean, when there something going on—how do you push it aside to focus? How can you work together? In the same building. Without thinking about him all the time?” Not exactly concise but how was she supposed to find the words? She didn't even know how she felt about him to begin with. Friends, yes. Hopefully always. Hopefully, she would always care about him. But the burning need to be with him? To have a thought and immediately want to share with him?
She'd never thought she'd ever feel this way about a man. Ever. Because when Josh was just a friend, it had been easy to love him. But now? Now that everything and change between them… How did she do it? How did she—she turned away from her friend. She went through the motions, following procedure, as she took off her gloves and her lab coat. She had to get out of the garage. And her mind really was not on what she was doing, anyway. She was only vaguely aware of Ally doing the same behind her. But Kelly didn't know what to say. So she just walked down the hall toward the office they and Ally still shared.
Ally was technically the supervisor, but Kelly was the assistant supervisor. She had a small desk in the corner of the office. It was the second desk she had had in the same spot. The first one had been irreparably damaged when the office had exploded around them. She would never forget that day.
Ally had opened the package, and Kelly had put it all together quickly. Realized what was about to happen. And she had acted without even thinking. She’d pulled Ally to the ground, and covered her friend with her own body. Smoke and flame had built around them. And then Josh had been there; Josh and her father. They had carried her and Ally out of the building and to safety. Josh—once again and for always josh. Had it just been Tennessee when it started. How was she supposed to know? Someone touched her on the arm, and she turned, startled; she’d actually forgotten Ally was there.
“Okay, Kelly, spill. What's going on?”
“How do I love him? How do I do it? He's upstairs, and something's going on. I can tell just by looking at him. And I want to go to him. I want to know what's wrong with him. I want to make it better.” Kelly sank into her desk chair. And spun it. She put her elbows on her desk and rested her head in her hands, ignoring the bright purple cast on her arm. “How do I do this? I never thought I would ever feel this way.”
“Oh, Kel… It was bound to happen sometime. I suspected it would happen with him a long time ago. Something about the way you two looked at each other. The way you were drawn to each other even though you didn't even like each other at first. Even though you're very opposite in personality, you complement each other very well. Anyone could see that, and after everything that happened in Tennessee I’m surprised it took as long as it did.”
“But how do I deal with it? I'm not sure this is what I want. And I have no clue what he really wants.”
“Sweetheart, you'd best get used to that. I don't think that ever changes. As for working with your father…it is both the easiest and hardest thing I have ever done. We are different individuals, and when we are at work, we have to be even more different. It took me a while to get used to that. Probably a little longer than Dan, actually. I was so worried about doing something to mess up his career that I forgot the purpose of my own. But just for a little bit. And I blame pregnancy hormones for most of it. It was a hard adjustment on all of us. When the lab exploded was when it truly changed for us, when I realized that I loved him, and it scared me. Just as much as you're scared, too. But it's okay to let him in, Kelly. It's okay to love a man. He's a good one, and a kind one; that's more important than anything else, and he cares about you. He has cared about you for a very long time. I don't think he would ever deliberately hurt you, either. And that matters. That and exactly how you are feeling right now. Because loving someone never gets any easier. It never gets less frightening. There’s just too much riding on it.”
Kelly turned and looked at her friend more fully. What was she supposed to say about all that? It was far too much to process all at once.
Ally smiled and continued. “Lives are not recycled; you don't get more than one chance. At least not usually. No, things did not work out with me and Jack. Maybe that was just as much my fault as it was his. But Fate had other things in store for me, but they gave me Ryan and Aislin. And they gave me Meghan and D.J. Gracie, Emma, you. We are a family now. And J.T. is a part of that, too. And regardless of what is between you and Josh, he's important to us. But most importantly, do you love him? Can you imagine breathing if he's not in this world? The idea that your father's probably going to die before me terrifies me. There is nothing more frightening than the idea that I might lose him. Let me ask you this… If something happens to Josh, what would that do to you?”
The very thought of it had her sick to her stomach. “I…Is this what it's like? I'm not sure I can do it.”
“That's your decision.” Ally wrapped her fingers around Kelly's and squeezed. Kelly needed the connection. She looked at her friend’s blue eyes as Ally spoke. “Only you can choose to let the fear stop you from having what could be the best gift of your life. But whatever you decide, it is something that needs to be his decision, too. And know that whatever you do decide we love you. All of us. Maybe Josh does, too. And maybe… Maybe you are what he needs, too. Because, in case you haven't noticed it, that man is more alone than you've ever been. You've always had your sisters. Even when things have gotten so bad you could barely stand it—you have always had Gracie and Emma. Josh hasn't always been that lucky. He has his team. A few friends. J.T.—no one can miss how close those two goofballs are—and he has had your father. And now he has you. It's up to you what you do about it. No, working with the man you love is never easy. It may get a little easier, but the issues will always be there. Add in the fact that they work dangerous jobs and the worry will be there, too. Honey, take a deep breath. You're starting to turn blue around the lips. Breathe, Kelly, breathe. It's not going make much of a difference how you feel about Josh if you hyperventilate yourself into a coma. Air in, air out. Air in, air out. That's it, honey. I can say something else—it gets a little easier to breathe. But only a little.” Kelly just stared at Ally mutely
Her next words came out in a whisper, “But what am I supposed to do?”
“Take one moment at a time. One day at a time. There's nothing that says you have to rush to him. You don’t even have to change what you're doing now. I know where you've been for the last four nights—kind of hard to miss. Talk to him, see how he's feeling. And then take the baby steps. Kelly, these past eighteen months or so with your father… They've been so much better than the months I spent with Jack, the years. I'll never regret the time I had with Jack; it resulted in two of my greatest gifts. But there was a selfishness in Jack that I didn't always recognize. It's not there in your father. He cares for me just as much as I care for him. It is one of the greatest things I've ever experienced. Because I love you, I can't help but want the same thing for you, someday. You can hide from this. If you decide not to be with him and you turn and walk away you could be potentially leaving one of the greatest loves you’ll ever find. If you go for it and take the chance, it still might not work out. That's just the odds that everyone faces. I certainly didn't think when I got with Jack that I'd ever end up here. But I'm glad I did. I'll never regret the time with Jack because he led me here. To your father. To the twins. Remember how scared I was to move to St. Louis? But the risk paid off. And in ways that I can never have imagined. Take a risk, Kel. That's all you can do.”
Take a risk. She wasn’t certain she could do that.
Chapter 49
J.T. got him a list of names. There were fifty on it. “I know there’s a lot. But more women are working forensics now than men. And I had to g
et into the DMV records to get heights and weights. I found you the best possible candidates.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, glad you’re back. We’ve missed you around here. Of course, I guess Kelly has been keeping you busy.”
“That she has.”
“Wondered when you’d make your move.”
“Never figured you’d go first. How long did Emma try to get your attention?”
“Haha.”
“Get out of here.”
“You get to tell me what to do now that you have your own spiffy office, Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Compton?”
“You bet.” The promotion had come with its own office. Josh wasn’t entirely certain why, but Hellbrook had been hinting Josh would be getting more responsibility soon.
He wasn’t sure what to think of that.
“Hey, Josh. It’s good to see you back. And to see you in a better frame of mind than you had been. We were starting to worry, ya know?”
“I know. And I’m back now. I swear.”
“Those Reynolds sisters have a way of putting a man’s thoughts in perspective. Or something.”
“Yes, they do. I love her, J.T. I just have to wait for her to realize that. I don’t intend for her to ever go back to her father’s. Just have to wait until she realizes that’s what she wants, too.”
“Good luck with that. If Emma’s the one who takes charge and moves like a bullet, Kelly’s the slow one who moves like—“
“A little turtle. She always has. Maybe someday Gracie will be right in the middle.”
***
Josh went over the names J.T. had given him personally until his shift ended. It wasn’t like what was seen on television. Once they had the potential profile they couldn’t just rush out and grab the person. The initial list just gave them a place to start. He separated the names into most likely, possible, and least likely. But each would get the attention needed to know for certain.
It would take him a couple of days to look into each one thoroughly. Or more. He could borrow from the CCU, but most were sent out after lunch on differing cases—his primary team was sent clear across the Mississippi River into Alabama.
He had two analysts to find him black and white details about the women’s lives and careers, but it would be up to him to figure out the ties that bound one woman to the victims.
It was a daunting task, but he had names. Which was more than he’d had before. They were a place to start, weren’t they?
His shift ended after Kelly’s. She was working odd hours for the week, splitting her shift into three four-hour chunks to cover holes in the lab’s schedule. She’d be home for two hours and would return an hour after he was home for the day. Not ideal, but as assistant supervisor, she worked where she was needed.
He headed home. They would have maybe half an hour for her to eat something, then he would drive her back.
He smiled, thinking of the normal routine of it all.
How life could change on a dime.
***
Kelly was tired, but it was a good tired. She’d spent a good portion of her time doing paperwork and thinking of what Ally had said.
Taking risks wasn’t her strong suit, was it?
No. Definitely not.
She drove back to her apartment for the first time in five days. She needed clothes. And Josh’s house was pretty sparse when it came to kitchen supplies and things like bath towels. She intended to grab a few things—just a few, it wasn’t like she was moving into the Addams’ Family mansion just yet—and then head back to the house and heat up something for the two of them to eat.
She parked her Jeep in its usual spot. She considered leaving it running. She didn’t plan to be inside very long at all.
“Kelly?”
She turned at the voice, expecting to see a neighbor.
A woman she vaguely recognized was standing in their driveway. “Dr. Miles? What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to teach you a lesson.”
She lifted the gun in her hand.
Kelly dove back toward her car, hoping to get behind the door in time. She had her arms above her head as she fell. The woman shot twice, three times. Kelly didn’t bother to count. She grabbed her phone and tried to pull herself under her car. She knew she was trapped. She hit the camera on her phone and then the send button. Hopefully someone would see on the other end. It was a last desperate measure, and she knew it.
The cast on her arm, now crossed over her temple shattered into a million pieces.
And then all she felt was a burning in her head, sharp pain. She lay on the pavement for a long time unable to move while the woman did something. A booted foot hit her in the head.
And then there was darkness.
Chapter 50
Kelly’s SUV was gone from the parking lot when Josh left, but he’d expected nothing less. Especially after getting her text, saying she’d be waiting at his house for him.
That she was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget. He wasn’t sure what she meant, but he was eager to find out what he’d done to her now.
He pulled in and parked the sedan by the truck.
Kelly’s Jeep wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Where was she?
Had she gotten held up?
There was an older white Buick parked across the road that he wasn’t used to seeing. He studied it for a moment.
Maybe he had seen it? Had it passed them a few times whenever they’d walked between his house and her father’s? Someone in the neighborhood?
Then why were the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end?
What was happening?
“Josh?”
He turned.
A woman was there. She was tall, probably taller than Kelly. Heavier, too. Much heavier. Her hair was long and dark and pulled back in a simple ponytail.
He knew her from somewhere, didn’t he?
Metro. She was with the St. Louis Metro forensics team, wasn’t she?
And she had blood on her shirt.
The woman fit the profile, didn’t she? Autumn. Autumn Miles, doctorate of Biochemistry, just like Kelly. He’d put her name in the most likely pile, so he hadn’t gotten to her yet.
He knew that had been his biggest mistake.
Kelly.
Where was she?
Chapter 51
Cody knew something was wrong the moment her phone buzzed. The only thing in the message was a photo of a woman’s foot and a lot of blood everywhere. And chunks of what looked like purple plaster. And was that a gun in the background? What was Kelly doing?
“Everything ok?” her date asked. Thank God it was Ken and not someone else.
“Kelly’s in trouble. I think. Let’s go. Just check on her.” She redialed Kelly’s phone and it just continued to ring and ring.
He was out of his chair before she’d finished speaking. “Where is she?”
“I don’t know. I thought she was heading home and then to Josh’s.” Because they had finally figured out they were completely stupid over each other. Cody had expected it for a very long time. It would seriously suck if something else had happened to one of them.
They didn’t talk much as Ken drove toward Kelly’s apartment. “She wouldn’t send a cryptic message with no follow-up. Not knowing what we’d think about it. She wouldn’t.”
“No need to panic yet.”
It wasn’t panic, it was fear. That plaster was the same color as the cast Kelly was wearing. And she’d seen enough bloody photos to know that was what she was seeing. Kelly was hurt. Every instinct Cody said told her that.
“Call PAVAD. Talk to her father and Compton. See if they can get us anything.”
She followed his instructions, grateful that she had him. Ken was a real calm-before-the-storm type.
Ken parked in the street by Agent Reynolds’ house. It was still early afternoon—she and Ken had to plan their date around her schedule, since she and Kelly had been working the partial shift
s—and the kids were most likely either at school or the sitters.
Kelly’s SUV was parked where it always had been whenever Cody would visit.
Cody started across the large front yard. Ken wrapped his hand around her arm, stopping from rushing across the grass. “Don’t touch anything. I’m calling it in.”
“Why?” She looked around, trying to see what he had. The Jeep’s door was wide open. The engine was running.
“Honey, there’s blood on the concrete by her car. And a lot of it.”
Chapter 52
Her head hurt. Her arm hurt. And she knew she’d lost a lot of blood. But when Kelly opened her eyes, she was grateful to still be alive. But where was she?
It took her a long moment to get to her feet, and when she did she was unsteady as hell. What had happened? She remembered pulling into her driveway, then getting out of her car. And then someone had been there. Someone she knew…she’d worked with her before, hadn’t she?
Autumn, Autumn something or rather? Autumn Miles. From the St. Louis Metro Crime Lab. That’s where she was from. But why was she at her father’s? What had the woman wanted?
She’d shot her. The last thing Kelly remembered was the sight of the gun. She touched her head. That woman had definitely meant to kill her. But she’d missed, hadn’t she? The blood still falling in Kelly’s eyes told her that the woman hadn’t. But it hadn’t been a kill shot, either. Intentional?
And where was she?
She rolled on her back, ignoring the pain in her arm. The woman had hit her, hadn’t she? And Kelly had lifted her cast in front of her face. The woman had been strong, and the blow had been hard enough to break through the cast.
Kelly was hurt, but nothing she couldn’t survive at this point. She had to find a way out of whatever room she was in.
Ghosting (PAVAD: FBI Romantic Suspense Book 10) Page 15