by Linnea Valle
The kids saw him coming up to us, long legs that took huge, confident strides which ate up the few yards separating us. They both toddled off the blanket and said “Daddeee” as they took off. As soon as they got close, Zach stopped and dropped to his knees, his arms spread wide, ready to catch the two of them as they collided into him. He wrapped his arms around each child and fell backwards, laughing at their delighted squeals.
He rocked back up onto his knees. He held my two most precious possessions on earth and I saw he felt the same way about them. He kissed and nuzzled them, then easily scooped them up into his strong arms and made a beeline for me. His eyes were so intense. He looked at me as though I was the only reason for his existence.
“Hey,” he said quietly when he got right up to the blanket. I had already stood in anticipation. I smiled back at him. It was like having the air sucked out of my lungs yet at the same time, I felt like I was finally able to take a breath.
“Hey yourself. I see you made it in one piece.” Damnit, I mentally kicked myself. What a horrible thing to say to him after all he has been through. I wanted to take it back the second it left my lips and I shrunk, waiting to see how he would be affected or if it changed his mood, but it didn’t.
“Emma, God, you’re so easy to read, so transparent.” He laughed at me. “Yes, I arrived here safely. And no, your words didn’t hurt me or make me feel anything except happiness knowing you care.”
Did I mention how fucking hot he looked? I liked this new relaxed version of Zach. Ever respectful and worried about others. We had both done a lot of growing up since he left for boot camp.
He juggled Trinity onto his left outer hip and Tommy onto his right outer hip and came nose to nose with me.
“Jesus, Em! I’ve missed you so fucking much.” He used the curse words barely above a whisper so the kids didn’t hear and it sent a shiver down my spine.
I splayed my hands on his chest to feel him through his tee shirt and breathe in his familiar scent. I would have dropped down on my knees right here, in the middle of the lawn and started to work on his belt if I thought I could get away with it out in public and if the kids weren’t there. Instead, I leaned in and kissed him. Hard. I was tired of waiting for him to make the move. I was going to take what was mine, right now.
I wound my arms around his neck and pushed myself into his body. His hands were not free, so he couldn’t do much when I pushed my tongue past his lips and swirled it around inside his mouth. He tasted like little white mints and I wanted to taste more of him. Unfortunately, it would be hours before the kids went to bed tonight. I hoped they slept well. I was not waiting around for him to come to me anymore. We both knew he was mine and I was his, so we needed to end the pretense.
While I fixed dinner, Zach stashed his stuff in Sarah’s old room, which I had already rearranged for him and he spent time playing with Trin and Tommy. I watched him with the twins, I had no doubt in my mind he adored them and no matter what became of us, he’d be a great dad. We fed the kids, played for a bit and then it was bath time. He brought out a store bag and coaxed them to look inside. They simultaneously dove for the bath toys that Zach brought them as a present. I knew Zach loved their baths, so, after getting him all set up and getting them in the tub, I left for a few minutes and went to get their room ready and pull out their pajamas. I heard squeals and laughter and I wasn’t sure who was doing more, the kids, or Zach.
My mind was already drifting to where things were going to lead tonight if I had any say in it. I went back into the bathroom and instead of taking over, I let Zach handle it. He’d been away for a week, and honestly, it looked like he had this handled very well. I sat on the closed toilet seat and watch, silently letting him know I was there for help if he needed any, but not interfering.
Zach did a great job and had both bathed, dried and in their jammies, ready for book time and bed all by himself. He looked over his shoulder with a proud smile on his face as I stood in the doorway to their room. He sat in the oversized rocker, which wasn’t so oversized with him in it. He had a child tucked on each side as he read them their stories. Then, gently laid each down with a kiss and a quiet, “Daddy loves you, I’ll see you in the morning.” He left the room, turning off the light and left the door cracked like he’d seen me do.
We returned to the living room and waited. The delay to be sure both kids were fully asleep seemed interminable. At least for me it was, so we passed the time talking about his trip.
“How were your parents?” I asked since they hadn’t been here to visit for a couple of weeks now. I suspected they were keeping their distance to let Zach have some time with us.
“They’re doing well. Mom put me in my place when I tried to blame them for not telling me I was a father.” He looked a bit chagrinned. “Mom and Dad would do anything for you and the kids, you know that, right Em?”
“I do,” I told him with firm conviction. “And, they’ve been so much help to me. I could never repay them for everything.”
Zach laughed softly. “Emma, those two little angels are the apples of their eyes. They’d walk through fire for Trinity and Tommy. And you too, you know you’ve always been my mom’s favorite.” He gave me a genuine smile and a wink. It had always been a running joke. Eddie, Zach, and I were separated at birth and Carol and Tom were Eddie and my parents. A soft giggle escaped at that thought and Zach looked at me questioningly, but I waved him off.
“So, I talked with Sarah. She seems to be doing a bit better after you visited. I don’t know what you said to her, but I can hear it in her voice. Thank you,” I told him honestly.
“She’s great. Someday, I hope she’ll be ready to move forward instead of living in the past. I know, I’ve been there with my head up my own ass for far too long,” Zach said.
“Zach, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been through more than any of us can possibly imagine. You’re doing your best,” I told him, and I meant it.
I had to come to terms with the things he’d done since Eddie was killed. His description made me realize I’d been very selfish in my own grief. Although I didn’t like it, I would learn to forgive him and live with his actions if he learned to forgive himself.
“I had a doctor’s appointment while I was gone and I saw my therapist. Both went well. I’ll always have the scars, but the doc said I’m doing great and unless I have problems, I’m okay to do any activities I feel up to.” He looked relieved to hear that and I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking he was cleared for any sexual activity he felt up to. I immediately scolded myself for my dirty thoughts.
“Are you going to continue with AA meetings?” I asked. “I looked it up and there’s a chapter here, so you can continue without going out of town. I wrote their phone number down for you in case you want to go.”
“That’s sweet of you Emma, so thoughtful. Yes, I need to continue with weekly meetings. I don’t want to mess up my sobriety. I’ll call them tomorrow to find out the meeting schedule. Thanks.” He reached over and gave my hand a squeeze and then kept my delicate hand wrapped in his large, strong one.
Zach
About an hour had passed and I was certain the kids were fast asleep. Emma and I had been talking about my trip while we waited. When I thanked her for the info on the local AA chapter, I grabbed her hand. The strength she exuded forced me to continue holding her hand. I needed her warm heart to keep mine beating.
Our sexual tension had been off the charts since I got back this afternoon. I could barely wait to have her all to myself again and I sent several silent prayers to anyone up there that the kids would sleep well tonight. I had tried to wear them out playing and then soothed them with their bath and books for that very reason.
I thought it worked, we hadn’t heard sounds from their room for the better part of an hour now. When I got the chance to take Em’s hand, I did and I decided not to let go.
To my surprise though, it was Emma who made the first move. I remembered every time we’
d been together. Every time had been incredible, despite my poor reaction the first night in my car. It had still been amazing being with Emma and the weekend before we left for boot camp was incomparable. I’d spent a year and a half thinking of no one else, wanting no one else. I remembered, Emma was innately shy, except when it came to us and sex. Then she was anything but shy. She initiated, took the lead, and was adventurous. That was a total fucking turn on.
Emma and I were still holding hands when she stood and pulled me up with her. I knew her intentions and had no objections, none in the slightest. She turned off the lights and headed down the hall. Although I was worried she was tempting fate, she peeked in on the kids and, once she was satisfied they were fast asleep, she silently pulled me to her bedroom across the hall. She closed the door and I automatically flicked on the light. It had been too long since I had seen my woman and there were physical changes I wanted to explore.
Emma didn’t seem phased at all by the light fixture in the center of the room which illuminated every corner. I had been in here, slept in her bed already so there were no surprises other than a bottle of lube and a box of condoms which sat on her night stand and when I spotted them, I chuckled. That was my girl. She was a sweet innocent angel and a seductive temptress all rolled into one, and I was addicted to her.
I let her lead me to the bed and we just stared for a moment, soaking each other in. Then she was up on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck. She pulled me down for a kiss.
“Emma, I want the timing and the motivation to be right this time. Are you sure?” I asked even though it took all my strength to hold back.
“Aren’t you sure?” I saw a flicker of hesitation cross her features, but it cleared as quickly as it had appeared. “I’m sure Zach, I’m waiting for you.”
I groaned at her words. Pure elation filled me, it started in the pit of my stomach and radiated outward.
“I’ve been sure since I called you more than a month ago, sweetheart.” I explained to her.
“It was like a revelation to me. All the pieces of a puzzle fell into place and I was able to see it all so clearly, both the past and our future. I want you, I need you, but more importantly, Emma, I love you.” With those words having been said, I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her up, past where her toes could touch the floor and kissed her. I kissed her deeply, reverently and with as much emotion as I could possibly pour into a kiss. I wanted there to be no doubt in her mind when I finally pulled back.
The kiss lasted for so long, I lost track of time. Lost in the feel of her, the taste of her. Lost simply to her. When we finally broke away from the kiss, I set her back from me a foot or so and pulled her tee off. Then I took off my own, both fell in a careless heap on the floor. Next, I reached for the button on her jeans, unbuttoned and unzipped them before sliding my hands inside and around to cup her ass.
Her hands worked their way to the button on my jeans and she tried to get it to give way, but they were so tight with my straining erection she had a difficult time.
I hooked my thumbs into the top edge of her pants and with open palms I slid her pants down over her hips, feeling the silky smooth of her skin. I continued pushing past her thighs until they dropped to the floor of their own accord. Then I helped her with my own jeans.
Once we were down to our underwear, I guided her to take another step backwards. I had seen the difference in her body through clothes, but I wanted to savor every inch of this new, womanly Emma. I lifted my hand and indicated for her to turn in a slow circle. She was exquisite. She always had been, but the thought she had borne our children fascinated me. She had more curves, a few, light stretch marks and her belly was nearly as flat as before, but with the slightest curve. The flare of her hips was mesmerizing.
If I’d thought she was sexy before, it was nothing to the way she looked now. Even with her bra on, I saw darker areolas than before and her nipples were larger and hard. She had become a woman in my absence.
“You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen, Em. Jesus, I can’t wait to do naughty, dirty things to you. But first, I want to worship you and make love to you.” I told her and I watched as her eyes glazed over with lust and love.
Then her eyes scanned my chest and she focused on my scars. I would love to be able to say I wasn’t bothered by it, or that I hadn’t almost covered them in shame. But I held steady and allowed her eyes to see the marks left by my injuries and the surgeries. These were things I saw as permanent signs of my own inadequacies and failures.
“Can I?” were the only words she said, but I knew she was asking for permission to touch me, to feel my scars. I wouldn’t deny her anything. As much as I would love to hide, I wanted her to see all of me.
She reached forward and tentatively, with a loving gentleness, she traced the scars with two fingers, and then scanned for more. She ran her hands over a few other injuries on my arms and chest before she turned me around as her hands skated up my back, when she found the main scar. She leaned in and kissed the scar on my back, running her hand over other smaller ones scattered along my ribcage and shoulder. She pulled her body closer to me and I felt her fabric clad nipples, taut, as they rubbed against my back. The sensation stole my breath.
She turned me around, again facing her. Her eyes locked onto the tattoo I had done shortly after I was released from the hospital. It was a fairly simple design with the letters E and J over my left pec. Over my heart. The bottom line of the E was used as the top cross bar for the J. From the bottom of the curve in the J hung a chain with a pair of dog tags. The spot I held Eddie’s head while he slipped away from this world and into the next. I guessed it was fitting they were also Emma’s initials placed over my heart. The two would forever be intertwined.
Emma’s eyes looked from the eternal memorial emblazoned on my body to my eyes and back again. It seemed we were both scarred from the time we spent away from each other. I saw tears begin to form in Emma’s eyes. I closed the distance, pulled her close, and held her. I felt one warm tear slide from where it fell on my chest, down until it was absorbed by the heat on my skin.
“No more tears, at least not tonight.” I soothed her, though silently I was begging. I wanted to learn how to honor Eddie by moving on with our lives, taking care of his sister and our children, exactly like Eddie made me promise to do.
I picked her up and gently laid her on the bed. The next second I was on my knees, this would be a prayer if Emma on her bed were an altar. It wasn’t, but I planned on worshipping her all the same. Over and over again.
From my position, kneeling on the floor, I reached up and cupped Emma in the most intimate of ways. I rubbed my thumb slowly up and down between her thighs. I felt her wetness through the thin fabric of her panties. She moaned and I heard her breathing get heavier. She bucked her hips in rhythm with my thumb. I was hard as a rock, straining at my briefs, waiting to be released.
“Stop torturing me, Zach. You know what I want,” Em said, in a husky, strained voice just above a whisper.
“Tell me, Em. Tell me what you want me to do to you,” I urged her knowing she enjoyed a certain amount of control when it came to our love-making.
“I know what I want to do, but I need you to tell me, sweetheart.” I never stopped rubbing and my fingers pulled aside her underwear allowing my thumb to rub her essence around. I put more pressure on her hard clit.
“God, Zach, it’s been so long. I…I want it all, everything.” She gasped as my fingers ripped the fabric that kept her from my full view.
She was so incredible. I leaned forward, my face so close, I could easily take her into my mouth. She was soaked and smelled like sweet honeysuckle mixed with an earthy muskiness that was exactly as I remembered.
“Please, Zach. Put your mouth on me.” Her words came out in a staccato rhythm. I couldn’t wait any longer, even if she hadn’t said the words. My need was beyond anything I’d ever felt before.
“God, I love you so much Emma,” I
breathed the words over her before I leaned in the fraction of an inch between us and devoured her.
I had planned on drawing it out, but before I’d barely started, her hips shot up as she tangled her fingers into my hair pulled my face tighter while she ground against my tongue, hard and greedy. Her moans were wild and I could tell she wasn’t holding anything back from me.
“Now, Zach. I need you inside of me right now,” her demand was immediate.
She was on the verge of coming and I could feel her walls begin tightening. I jumped up, dragging down my briefs as quickly as I could, rolled on a condom and drug her up all the way onto the bed before I hovered over her. My forearms rested on either side of her face, my body knew it’s way home. I drove into her completely in one motion, frantically, forcefully, and then I stopped. I wanted to savor the feeling of her clenching pussy holding my cock tight.
I could feel she was close. I had a hard time keeping myself from coming the second I was inside her, but I wanted this to be good and to last as long as possible. I started slowly moving in and out, making sure I was hitting all the right spots for her. I wanted to feel her come.
Her moans increased and she encouraged me to go faster, harder. I reached down and strummed her clit which set her off. She detonated around me with spasm after spasm, bliss shone on her face.
As soon as her climax began to slow I started moving within her again. Nothing had ever felt so perfect. As I chased the culmination of all my own desires, her panting and moaning started to pick back up with my pace. I tried, I really did. I attempted to prolong this feeling and draw out our first time back together, but my body was wound up so tight that it wasn’t long before I started to feel myself losing the battle. I wanted to take her there with me again, to share this together. I reached between us and found her clit was swollen and so sensitive. I pushed hard on it before circling my finger around it repeatedly.
Our bodies worked in tandem and I felt when Em’s walls tightened up in preparation for another orgasm. “I love you, Em. I love you, I love you.”