by Scott, Tori
He dropped the book on the bed. "I can't. It's private, Carol. Would you want me to read your diary?"
She put her hands on her hips and stared him down. When he didn't look away, her eyes narrowed. "You're afraid, aren't you?"
"Of course not. I don't think it's right, that's all." He turned and walked back to the living room, hoping she'd drop the subject. He should have known better. When Carol got a notion about something, she never let it rest until she got her way.
"Logan, I read it. There's nothing in here that you should be afraid of."
He whirled around and searched her face. Did she know? How? Then he remembered his conversation with Megan in the chapel. "Megan told you, didn't she?"
Carol ducked her head, then straightened her shoulders and met his gaze. "Yes, she did. She didn't want to betray a confidence, but she's worried about you."
He cursed and strode to the picture window and looked down on the street below. Children played on the sidewalk under the watchful eyes of their mothers. Old women sat in the late evening sun, watching grandchildren play. His mother should have had that. She should have grown old with Charlie, been there to see her beautiful granddaughter.
Thanks to him, she never had that chance. "And what do you think, now that you've read it? Is there a miracle cure in there for the guilt eating away at my insides? Is there a magic potion that will bring Mom back?"
She shook her head sadly, but he wasn't sure if the sadness was for him or because there was no magic potion.
"No miracles. Just an explanation that I think you need to read, to understand. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for Katie." She walked over and laid the diary on the coffee table, then arched her back and stretched. "I'm going to take a bath."
When she'd disappeared into her room, Logan felt the book tugging at him, begging him to pick it up. He stomped into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the refrigerator. Then he sat at the table and stared at nothing.
Katie came in a few minutes later and got a soft drink. Then she sat across from him and glared at him without saying a word.
Logan looked up and smiled at her, but she lifted her stubborn little chin and turned her head away. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, trying to look casual and unconcerned.
He'd already tried begging, pleading, and threatening to ground her for life if she didn't start talking to him again, but so far nothing had worked. So he decided he'd act like nothing was amiss. Maybe that would push her buttons enough to get a reaction.
"Did you know Aunt Carol was back?" he asked casually.
Katie nodded but still didn't speak.
"Did you know she's talked to Megan recently?"
That got her attention. Her face brightened for a moment and he could tell she was dying to ask about Megan, but she clamped her lips tightly together and shook her head.
"She may have even had a chance to see Blue. Maybe you should go ask her how they're doing?" He hoped she would act on his suggestion, because he wanted to know, too. But he didn't want to be the one to ask the question.
Katie shrugged and took a drink, keeping her eyes focused somewhere above his head.
Logan scooted his chair back and stood. "Fine. If you don't want to know, that's up to you." He tossed the bottle into the trash can in the corner. "But she might even have Megan's telephone number," he added as he left the room.
***
When Carol came out of her room an hour later, Logan pretended to be absorbed in the football game on television, but the truth was he couldn't have said who was playing, much less what the score was. The damned diary was on the coffee table in front of him and he couldn't seem to see anything beyond it.
He looked up when she walked past him on her way to the kitchen. Katie still sat at the table, playing her hand-held video game he guessed from the sounds floating through the door. He heard the murmur of voices and realized they were deliberately keeping their voices low so he wouldn't overhear their conversation.
Feeling like a second rate spy, he eased off the couch and tiptoed to the door, then flattened himself against the wall when Carol walked across the kitchen. If either one of them came into the living room, he was going to have a hard time explaining why he was eavesdropping on their conversation.
"Megan's doing great," Carol said. "She's all settled into her new home and she starts her new job next week. She seemed really excited about it."
"What about Blue? Did you see him?"
Logan felt a pang as he heard his daughter's voice for the first time since Carol had left earlier in the week. He still hadn't figured out how a twelve-year-old girl had gone that long without talking.
"No, I'm sorry, honey. I didn't want to see Jake, so I didn't get to see Blue either."
That was news to him. He hadn't realized anything was wrong between Carol and Jake. He wondered what had happened. Maybe Carol had finally realized she didn't want to live in the middle of nowhere.
"Did Megan ask about me? Does she miss me? Why did she leave?"
"Yes, she did. She misses you, too, and wanted to know all about how you're doing. She even sent you a present."
"She did? Where is it? Can I have it now?"
He heard a chair scrape against the floor and moved quickly away from the wall. He couldn't go back to the couch because he'd be in the line of sight of the door, so he moved to the window and pretended to be absorbed in the scene below. But he couldn't help but wonder when--and where--Carol had seen Megan.
Carol stepped into the living room and looked at him quizzically, then continued on to her bedroom. A minute later she came back with a small package wrapped in shiny pink paper. Katie came out of the kitchen and met her halfway. Carol smiled and ruffled Katie's hair, then handed her the package.
Katie tore the wrapping paper off and dropped it on the floor, then lifted the lid of a small, square box. "Oh, it looks just like Blue."
Logan glanced over and saw Katie holding a miniature ceramic Blue Heeler that did, indeed, look like Blue. Katie clutched it to her chest as tears welled in her eyes.
When she looked up and saw him watching her, she turned away and ran to her room.
Carol sighed and moved to the couch, then dropped on to it and put her feet on the coffee table. "I take it she still isn't speaking to you?"
"No." He sat on the edge of an overstuffed armchair and swung one leg back and forth. "She's mad because I can't make her wishes come true, and she blames me for Megan leaving. But I honestly have no idea why she left like that. Do you?"
"No. She never said what happened. She went into the living room to use the telephone, then came back a couple of minutes later looking like she'd been sucker punched. Fifteen minutes after that, she was gone."
The telephone? Logan thought back, trying to remember what he'd been doing at the time. He'd checked his email when they got back to the house and had found another message from his lawyer. He'd called him and they'd talked strategy, brainstorming about what he could do to ensure the custody decision was in his favor.
Realization, when it dawned, was not pleasant. "Damn it!"
"What? You did do something, didn't you? I knew it."
Logan rubbed a hand over his face. "It wasn't intentional. Megan must have overheard my conversation with Mark when she picked up the phone."
"Your lawyer? Why would that upset her?"
"Because we were talking about how to make sure I got custody of Katie, and one of the ideas we tossed around was that I could get Megan to marry me so there would be someone to watch Katie while I worked."
***
Logan paced the living room, unable to sleep. Now Carol refused to speak to him, too, and dinner had been decidedly uncomfortable. She and Katie had talked as though he wasn't in the room, rehashing the great times they'd had in Morris Springs with Megan and Blue.
He smiled when he thought about Katie's animated retelling of the afternoon in the pond, of remembered games of Scrabble in the evenings, and her shopping
trip to Lubbock. He scowled when he thought about her tears when she told Carol how much she missed Megan and Blue and Morris Springs, and even Big Mac.
He knew Katie wanted to go back. She hated being shut up in the apartment with no friends to play with. But she didn't understand. He missed those things too. He just couldn't bear to live where he had to see that garden every day, condemning him every time he walked through the back door.
Besides, it was too late. The house and land belonged to someone else now.
Damn. Why had he signed the property over to Carol? Because he'd never really believed she'd sell it, that's why. He thought she'd hold on to it, for sentimental reasons if nothing else.
He still couldn't believe she'd sold it that fast.
As he paced by the couch, he caught sight of the diary out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and stared at it for a moment, then took a deep breath. He picked up the book and made himself read the first page, then he closed the cover and put it back on the table.
***
Megan was elbow deep inside a pygmy goat, trying to extract the first of a set of twins who'd managed to tangle themselves together in the womb. As she pushed a leg back and tried to get a hand on a small, slippery head, the strong odors of blood and waste hung heavy in the air.
Most people would gag at the sight and smell of the job, but she loved it. She crooned to the mama goat as she worked. Ten minutes later she was rewarded with the bleat of a small kid as it struggled to its knees. When the second twin was born, strong and healthy, she cried.
How could she think of leaving Morris Springs, of moving back to Dallas to spend her days vaccinating dogs and cats and lecturing their owners of the dangers of chicken bones and other table scraps? But she did think about it, every day. Because she missed Logan and Katie. It had taken her a while to realize she was in love with him, but the truth had finally sunk in. She'd even managed to convince herself that she loved him enough to marry him for Katie's sake, if that's what it took to keep him by her side.
Though she knew she'd never be as content in Dallas as she was here, she'd heard that if you truly loved someone you could be happy anywhere. So maybe it was true. But she hated the thought of giving up the farm, her job, and the new pair of female Blue Heelers she'd bought. If that was what it took to get Logan back, though, then that's what she'd do.
But not yet. She would wait a while so she could be sure about her decision. Once she left, there would be no coming back.
She peeled off her rubber gloves and stood to watch as the kids struggled to nurse. If they managed to stand up long enough to latch on, she felt she could safely leave them in the care of their mother.
She smiled when the first twin found the engorged nipple and greedily began to nurse, his legs wobbling crazily as he tried to stay on his feet. The other twin soon got the idea and joined his sister for the feast.
Megan wished Logan would learn from Carol as easily.
At least his sister had had sense enough to know her mother's death wasn't his fault. And she'd had sense enough to read the diary. But according to Carol, Logan still hadn't read it and she was losing hope that he ever would.
Megan cleaned up the mess in Jake's barn and washed her hands and arms in the bucket of water on a table in the corner. She watched him through the window as she lathered the antiseptic soap on her hands, then rinsed them off.
He'd grown quieter and more withdrawn with every day that passed with no word from Carol. He didn't look like he'd been sleeping, or eating regular meals.
She knew he was nervous about seeing Carol at Jerry's trial in a few weeks. But not nearly as nervous as she was about appearing at the custody hearing. Logan's lawyer had asked her to act as a character witness, and she'd agreed, on the condition he didn't tell Logan in advance that she would be there. She wanted to see his unguarded reaction to her presence.
***
Logan yanked his tie loose for the third time and retied the knot, his fingers shaking as he tossed one end over the other. His lawyer had assured him they were as ready as they'd ever be, but Logan was still nervous. He couldn't stand the thought that Katie might not come back home with him.
When he finally had the tie knotted to his satisfaction, he put on his jacket and carefully brushed his hair. If his face didn't have a slightly green hue to it, he thought, his appearance would be acceptable.
Katie knocked on his door and pushed it open when he told her to come in. He smiled at the picture she presented in her navy blue dress and white sandals. Her dark hair had been pulled back and secured with a gold clip.
"You look beautiful. I'll have to beat the boys away in a few years." She blushed and ducked her head, but not before he saw a pleased grin tug at the corners of her mouth.
"Are you ready to go? We don't want to be late."
Logan resisted the urge to ruffle her hair. He figured she'd get mad after she'd spent time getting it just right. His little girl was growing up. "Sure. Let's go."
Carol was waiting for them in the living room, pacing nervously in front of the window. She gave Logan a forced smile and headed for the door. As he reached around her to open the door, she whispered in his ear. "If this doesn't work, we could always take her into hiding."
Logan laughed, relaxing just a little at her teasing. Then he sobered. She was teasing, wasn't she?
***
Megan sat on a hard, wooden chair at the back of the courtroom, her hands twisted together in her lap. She'd waited until Logan and Katie took their seats at the front, and the proceedings were about to begin, before she slipped through the open door and into a seat at the back. She'd chosen a seat behind a big man who spilled over the sides of his chair, hoping Logan wouldn't see her if he turned around.
His lawyer had talked to her for an hour on the telephone, explaining the types of questions he would ask and what she might expect from Sue Ann's attorney. She was so nervous she hadn't dared eat breakfast and now her stomach rumbled.
When the first break rolled around and she hadn't been called, she slipped out the door as soon as it was allowed. She hurried to the ladies room, the one place she could be sure Logan wouldn't find her.
She splashed water on her wrists in an attempt to calm her nerves, then touched up her hair and lipstick. The door opened and Sue Ann walked in.
Megan recognized her from the courtroom. Seeing her this close hadn't been part of the plan. Then an idea began to take form. She took her compact out of her purse and dabbed at her chin as Sue Ann moved to join her in front of the mirror.
Megan caught Sue Ann's disdainful glance in the mirror and pasted a friendly smile on her face. "Don't you hate having to show up in court for a traffic violation?" She gave herself a mental high five. She hadn't actually lied. She didn't say she was there for a traffic ticket.
Sue Ann sniffed delicately. "I'm not here for something so simple."
Megan tried to adopt a friendly, innocent demeanor. "Really? Something interesting, I hope?"
Looking slightly put out, Sue Ann traced her pouty lips with liner, then snapped the lid back on the pencil and dropped it into her purse. "Custody case."
Megan widened her eyes and forced herself to look fascinated. "Really? Are you trying to get custody of your kids?"
"Just one kid. I wouldn't even bother, but her daddy's loaded and he pays generous child support every month." She filled her lips in with a dark red lipstick. "Do you have kids?" she asked as she smudged the lipstick with a tissue?
Megan shook her head. "No, I hope to someday, but I haven't found the right man yet."
Sue Ann turned toward her and looked her over. "Let me give you a little advice. Don't bother. Kids are more trouble than they're worth. They screw up your figure, puke on your clothes, then just when they start getting interesting, they're old enough to mess up your love life."
With a last glance in the mirror, Sue Ann waved her fingertips and sailed out the door.
As the door closed behind her, Megan d
ecided she'd do whatever it took to make sure Logan got custody of Katie, including marrying him. They might not make the perfect couple, but at least they could give Katie a stable home. And if she had to give up the idea of unconditional love, she'd survive. She'd survived this long, hadn't she?
But she didn't want to make it too easy for Logan. She'd keep that bit of information to herself until it seemed absolutely necessary.
***
Logan watched the judge's reaction to Sue Ann's forced tears and plea for custody of her daughter. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, smudging her perfectly applied eyeliner in the process.
Katie squirmed beside him and he placed his hand on top of hers. She turned her palm up and linked their fingers together and he smiled at her. When he looked back up, the judge was watching them.
When Sue Ann had finished her histrionics and was dismissed, Logan's attorney stood and called his first character witness. "Miss Megan Flynn." Logan willed himself to remain calm and not let his shock show on his face.
Katie twisted around in her seat to watch Megan walk down the aisle, a huge grin lighting her pixie face. She waved at Megan as she stepped through the gate and Megan smiled back, avoiding Logan's gaze as she moved to the witness stand.
Logan drank in the sight of her as she sat facing him, graceful and poised as she answered the questions in a straightforward manner. She wore a feminine suit in a soft shade of green that brought out the deep emerald of her eyes. Her hair fell softly around her face.
The judge seemed more relaxed than he had while Sue Ann was on the stand. He smiled a time or two as Megan related stories about her time with them and gave her impression of Katie's relationship with her father. Logan was impressed with the way she handled herself, her honesty, and the way she turned the tables on the opposing attorney when he tried to trap her into admitting their physical relationship.